Serial Insanity: Sailor Moon Madness
By: Setsuna and Rei
Disclaimer: None of the Sailor Scouts or their world belongs to us. Obviously, we belong to ourselves, though, so no snatchy.
Warning: Sugar, Insanity, Language, Rabid Ducks, ballet dancing hamsters, hentai raccoons; Yeah, just about every thing silly that you can think of.
Note: Okay, this is part one in what is going to be a continuing series of, well, insanity. We're basically pointing out and making fun of anime cliché's
Chapter One: Enter the Madness
One fine day in Texas, at a small house with a sea of cars parked in front of it, two best friends were busy watching episodes of one of their favorite anime's: Sailor Moon. Now, understand that they were re-watching the first season, which they hadn't watched since they were very little. Realizing how stupid the dubbing of that season had been, the two seemed to be amusing themselves by making fun of the small things like the corny lines, embarrassing moments, and the crappy voices that had been given to the four generals.
"I swear, these negaverse goons are complete retards!" Rei ranted, rubbing her temples with her left hand, "Don't they realize that if they would just take energy from places like amusement parks or gyms, without fully draining people, that the Sailor Scouts would never ever realize what was going on until it was too late?"
"I know! And what's with the whole standing on the roof thing?" Setsuna counted, sighing, "I swear, if you want to find the so-called 'bad guy' in these animes, just look on the roof. You know they'll be there!"
"Amen sister!" the elder girl paused, "You know, I bet we would make some totally awesome bad guys!"
"Right on! We could beat the heck outta the Negaverse and the Sailor Scouts any day!"
"If only we could…." The two girls sighed in unison, staring at the TV, on which Molly was whining to Serena about her sister's strange attitude toward the other tennis players lately.
"Dude, that's normal for my sister! It's if she were nice that I would think she was possessed by the negaverse." Setsuna commented boredly.
Just then, Setsuna's sister, Maggie, came in smiling broadly at her elder sister.
"What do you want?" The elder girl asked warily, she hated it when Maggie gave her that look.
"Here, sister dearest, you can have all of my money! And please, take my Harry Potter posters as well!"
"AHHHHH!!! SHE'S BEEN POSSESSED BY THE NEGAVERSE!!!!!!" Setsuna and Rei screamed concurrently. The minute the last words had left their mouths, the TV screen lit up and sucked the two teenagers into its depths, leaving an unbothered Maggie behind, holding her money and posters out to the couch.
"Huh? Oh well. More for me!"
~
"Owie."
Setsuna looked around at the lavish apartment they had fallen into, "Uhhh…. Rei-chan? Where are we?"
"Owie…"
"Rei-chan?"
"Owie."
Setsuna got up and looked at the other girl who had fallen into the classic 'face-fault' position and seemed to be having a lot of trouble getting up. S-chan proceeded to help her fallen friend, then they both stared in shock at the other.
Rei looked…. Well… different, to say the least. Her hair was done up in an almost complete rip-off of the Chibi Chibi heart-odango hairstyle, with matching short, curled pigtails. There were only a two differences between the two's hair. One was that Rei's bangs were long and strait, hanging down to her hips, the other was Rei's hair colour. No longer was her hair a dark brown, but instead was coloured with alternating locks of blush pink and pastel green. Her eyes, heavily bordered by the long black eye lashes that were typical to a Sailor Moon style girl, were a light pastel purple, almost violet. Her skin was tanned and her legs took up major portions of her body.
Her garb had also changed drastically. The elder girl's normal of large, baggy T-shirts, pants, and flip-flops had been exchanged for a short skirt and bikini-like plaid top with a denim, sleeve-less over shirt. Something the girl would never wear normally. To top off the strange new look, a small bracelet dangled loosely on her left wrist. The ornament was made entirely of alternating soft purple heart-shaped beads, and light yellow round ones. To say the least, this new look disturbed her friend.
At the same time, Rei had been staring at Setsuna with an open mouth of shock. The younger girl was now the same height as her, which, judging by the furniture they were standing by, wasn't that tall, and had swapped her medium length dark hair for short-cropped pastel purple. The other teenager's heavily lashed eyes were now a bright yellow and her skin had lightened from it's normal Hispanic colour.
Like her best friend, her clothing had abruptly changed. Gone were the kakhi shorts and overlarge shirts, to be replaced with a long, dark purple skirt that touched her ankles and was split most of the way up her right side. Her upper torso was adorned with a tight black-purple top that bore a high neck, no sleeves and was cut at the bottom to show off the girl's midriff. The final touch to her new look was the pink-hearted and green-beaded bracelet suspended around her right wrist.
"Girls, I thought you were going to go shopping?" a man sounded from the kitchen that was through a doorway to their right.
"Ummm….." Rei responded, not sure if he was talking to her. To confirm whom he had meant, an elderly man dressed in the classic butler's garb entered from the kitchen portal and began to speak again.
"If you're going, I suggest you leave now, girls, they've said a storm is suppose to start this afternoon."
"Umm…" setsuna mimicked Rei, then said brightly, "Okay Jeeves!" She then proceeded to grab Rei's hand and rushed to the door, grabbing two purses that looked meant for them as they passed a table and finally stopped in the genkan to put on a pair of purple high-heels that seemed to go with her clothes.
"Setsuna, what are you doing?" Rei hissed, even so she began to adorn her feet in the white and black sneakers the other girl had shoved toward her.
"Look, I don't know what's going on here, but if he thinks we're someone else, why not play up to it until we do figure out this whole mess?"
"Ah… k."
Once the two were outside the apartment door they stopped to dig through the purses Setsuna had grabbed, "What the crap?"
"Nani?" Rei asked, looking up at her friend who was busy staring at the wallet in her hand, or, more specifically, the driver's license.
"Look at this!" Setsuna shoved the license in the other teen's face, revealing the picture that looked exactly like Rei's new image. Only, the name beside the picture was 'Ashely White' instead of 'Rei Romaru.'
"So?" was all that her efforts were rewarded in, "So?! So that's what you look like right now!"
"NANI?" Rei turned to look at the elevator across from them, who's door surface acted as a kind of mirror, "OH MY GODDESS!!"
A white hand clamped itself across her mouth, "Shhhh… Let me see that purse!"
The elder girl, still slightly in shock from her newly gained appearance, watched as Setsuna dug in the other purse, finally extracting a new wallet and license, "This is what I look like, isn't it?"
"Hai," Rei replied meekly when she was shown the picture, "What does it mean?"
"I don't know. Maybe we should go walk around and see if we can recognize anything?"
"Sounds like a plan."
~
"WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
A few moments later a young blonde was seen dashing down the roads of the Crossroads district of Tokyo in her rush to get to school. If she had only listened to her mother, in stead of rushing out the door, she would know that it was Saturday and she didn't have to. Of course, she hadn't, and so the people couldn't quite understand why the girl would be running around in her school uniform so early in the morning.
Serena knew that the arcade was coming up and fervently wished that she could stop in to play a few games, but she knew her teacher would be mad enough already. Just as she passed by her worshiped hide-out, two girls stepped out onto the street, staring at the blonde blur as it passed and recognizing the voice shouting usual things like "oh I'm going to be sooo late!" way to well.
"Was that who I think it was?" Ashely, formerly known as Rei, asked, staring after the fourteen-year-old.
"I do believe so," Brittany, AKA Setsuna, responded, also staring. Things are just getting weirder and weirder.
"Shall we?"
"We shall."
With that the pair began sprinting after the blonde, wanting to see if they were right.
Serena stopped, panting, at the closed gate of Crossroads Junior High, "Oh NOOO! What's wrong?! Why is it locked!" she wailed, the water faucets hidden under her eyelids turning them selves on and deftly watering the dry cement around her.
"Yup, definitely her," Ashely commented from their position at the corner.
"So we've been sucked into the Sailor Moon universe?"
"That or completely lost our minds," Ash confirmed.
"Hai… Hey, you remember that idea we had?" Brit asked, looking slyly at her friend.
"Which one?"
"To kick the butts of the negaverse and the Sailor Scouts?"
"Heeeyy, that sounds like a good idea!"
"Lets Do it!" They chorused, clasping hands in promise.
To be continued…
Okay, not as funnah as we wanted the first chapter to be, but we'll be adding more humor later. Enjoy!