Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam SEED. I'm just continuing the on-going fad of clichéd Christmas stories. Word.
This story is dedicated to Kurisutaru the Obsessive Athrun Fangirl extraordinaire. May you have a very Merry Christmas.
Ty Kamara Secret Santa Athrun goes for a walk, takes a wrong turn, gets shot and ends up drunk in a biker bar. When he wakes up, he finds that he has an image of Haro tattooed on his backside. Yet another interesting day in the life of Athrun Zala.
A Day in the Life of Athrun Zala.
- by Reiven for Kuri-chan.
Cheep, cheep. Cheep, cheep.
The merry little blue birds chirped as they fluttered around the branches of an oak tree; oblivious to the fact that their mere presence was annoying the occupant, whose bed sat right beside the window.
'Darn birds!' Athrun Zala's mind yelled irritably as he tossed and turned under the thin covers trying to find the most comfortable position.
His previous fling, the ever-temperamental representative of Orb, Cagalli Yula Athha, had unceremoniously thrown his out of her house because of something he hadn't even done. It was all Kira's fault! He told Kira that Cagalli's diary was her most prized possession, but would he listen? Of course not, and look where it got Athrun after he had single-handedly tried to save Cagalli's leather clad book from the hands of her evil twin brother? Caught with his pants down. Red-handed. With his hand in the cookie-jar and all those other idiotic expressions that Kira had used after that incident. Athrun had rightly-fully whacked him upside the head for that.
And that was why the once proud and respected Athrun Zala, son of the previous Chairman of PLANT, most favoured student of Raww Le Kleuze, finds himself in a cramped room with so little breathing space that it makes Justice's cockpit seem like a three-hundred square feet, cooler version of the Sahara Desert. Speaking of Justice; how he wished he was with Justice right now. If only Cagalli had let him get blown to smithereens along with his Gundam.
'Darn Cagalli.'
To top off the whole thing, even the birds are insulting his complete lack of disposable income.
Cheep, cheep. Cheep, che-eep!
'Ha-ha!' Athrun smirked, and watched as the other annoying little blue birds made their escape after witnessing their companion get a face full of boot. A few moments later, the smirk was completely wiped off of his face when he realized that he only had one boot left.
'Darn Kira!' he cursed, even though his current one-boot situation did not have anything to do with the brunette. He believed that everything bad that had happened to him ever since the raid of Heliopolis is completely Kira's fault. If it wasn't for Kira, he wouldn't have met Cagalli. If it wasn't for Cagalli, he wouldn't have moved to Orb in the first place. If he hadn't move to Orb, he would still be able to let off his steam by beating Yzak at chess a few times. God, how he missed Yzak. He wished Yzak was here right now to yell at him, and slam him against the wall, just like the good old times.
His nostalgic thoughts were brusquely interrupted by the screeching sound of the landlady's voice calling him for breakfast. That was probably the only good thing he could get out of this sorry dump that disguised itself as a apartment, at least, it would have been, if the landlady's bastard cats didn't keep on stealing his sausages all the time. Deciding that he didn't really feel like going head to head with one of those feral beasts (he still had battle wounds from the last fight) he put on his coat and his one boot and left the building.
Walking around with one boot felt really odd, as Athrun discovered, and it seemed to attract some peculiar stared from bystanders, not that he cared. He didn't really care about anything anymore.
As Athrun wallowed in his own self-pity, he didn't discover that he had missed the small signboard to his right that said 'Trespassers will be SHOT!' and kept placing his feet one ahead of the other. The uneven thumps that echoed in the small alley finally alerted him after awhile, that he seemed to have ended up in a part of the neighbourhood he had never been too - or perhaps he had, but didn't notice because of the speed Cagalli was driving at. Cagalli's road-hogging tendencies scare Athrun very much. Kira's driving scares Athrun too, because the brunette seems to have a rule never to go above twenty-five mile per-hour on the highway, even when there's an eighteen wheeler bringing up the rear.
The difference between the two siblings really surprises Athrun sometimes. He has also, more than on one occasion, considered the possibility that Cagalli had been mistakenly circumcised at birth.
But he had to give Kira some credit, at least the boy had offered him a place to stay. Athrun could have easily said yes, and yet, it was the thought of those bratty spawns that dwelled in that very same house that kept his feet firmly rooted to the floor of his current dump. His shin had never really healed after being kicked by one of those snotty little beasts.
"You, boy!"
His train of thoughts was derailed when a gruff sounding (not to mention pissed off) voice called out to him from somewhere up ahead.
"What are you doing here?"
Athrun looked to his left, then to his right, trying to determine where exactly 'here' was?
"Sorry, sir. I seem to be lost," he heard the sound of wood thumping against cement and braced himself as he felt the presence of the strange come closer to him. 'Stay calm,' he told himself when the a small ray of sunlight fell on the features of the owner of the gruff voice.
Athrun would have been lying to himself if he said that the man didn't look a little bit stereotyped. He had to keep from openly staring at the man's eye patch and peg-leg, instead, he opted to stare openly at the .22 long caliber rifle he had in his hand. Forcing his heart back down from his throat, Athrun stood up straighter and attempted not to look hostile in any way.
"Lost, aye?" he growled, "and how exactly could you have gotten lost, unless you weren't looking where you were going, eh, boy?"
Athrun cleared his throat, "Well-"
"Get out of here."
"What?"
"I said get out! Don't make me repeat myself, not unless you want to be pumped full of led."
"N-Now, just wait a moment!" Athrun held his arms up in defence, "I didn't mean to trespass into your place or anything, I was-"
"I'll give you till the count of three, if you're not out of my sight by then …" he raised his rifle and pointed it at the nervous teen.
"H-Hey!"
"Three ... "
"Wait, sir! I just -"
"One!"
"You didn't even count it right!"
And without another word, the old man pulled back the trigger and a loud bang resounded in the cramped alley. Athrun felt a sharp pain in his shoulder before finding himself being thrown back onto the cold pavement where he landed with a thump.
There was an eerie silence in the air, and Athrun vaguely wondered whether he had already died. But upon feeling the pain in both his shoulder and his backside, knew otherwise. Pushing himself to a sitting position with his good arm, he reached over to try and stop the bleeding. Much to his shock, he found none, in fact, the sharp pain seemed to slowly be going away until it was just a dull ache. Looking over to the old man, Athrun discovered that he seemed to find this whole incident highly amusing.
He felt something small drop beside him and reached over to grab it, finding the rubbery feeling beneath his fingers particularly odd. All of a sudden, it hit him. He had just been made a fool of! His fingers curled around the rubber bullet angrily as he locked a menacing glare on the old man.
"Kids nowadays," he laughed, "They have no nerve. No nerve at all," unbeknownst to him, the kid in question had just gotten to his feet and was moving dangerously towards his position. Before he knew it, Athrun was looming over him; his emerald coloured eyes flashing.
"What is it now, girly-boy?"
Athrun's eyebrow twitched. He always hated when people called him that, and by people, he meant Yzak, since the silver-haired teen was the only one who had the nerve. Not meaning that other people wouldn't like to, if given the chance, and by other people, he meant Kira. Although it would be a little hypocritical of Kira to call him a girly-boy, considering that Athrun isn't the one who exfoliates.
Ignoring the hostile gaze of the old man before him, Athrun's mind couldn't help but turn to Yzak and Kira. Both completely opposites when judged by their personality, and yet, undoubtly similar when it came to their likeness for tormenting Athrun. Though Kira my hide it behind his innocent smile and friendship, at least in that sense, Yzak was upfront with his glee. Kira just laughed it off and blamed it on Athrun's inherited PMS.
"Nothing to say, eh?" the old man sneered, "Just like I suspected. You're nothing more than a poofy fairy."
It was like someone took a large, wet fish and slapped it against his face. Athrun was roughly pulled out of his thoughts and turned a heated glare at the chuckling figure. "What did you call me?" his eyebrow twitched continuously.
"You heard what I said, boy."
It was like something in Athrun snapped at that moment, he felt all the hatred inside him completely disappear until only an empty feeling enveloped him. At that moment, Athrun knew that he had taken one shit to many from people he didn't even know. Firstly it was Yzak when they had first met, then Cagalli and Yuna and now that this old man? It was just too much. He closed in on the man, who smartly stepped back; obviously feeling the murderous aura in the atmosphere. He was just about to open his mouth to ask what Athrun was doing when the boy -with a final roar of 'Kira! Yzak!'- lunged-
- - - - -
Elsewhere, two completely different individuals of completely different personalities sneezed at the exact same time. Their two completely different partners of completely different genders turned to them to ask the exact same question.
"Coming down with something?"
And the two completely different people with completely different hairstyles and eyes turned to the person who asked the question and replied at the exact same time with the exact same answer.
"No … it just feels like someone is talking about me."
- - - - -
Uneven footsteps found their way down the rocky path. The sudden shower of rain coming down without mercy. A lone figure's body swayed drunkenly as he found his way though a darkened alley, his one booted foot causing light thumping sounds that were drowned out by the sound of rain on cement. His long, blue toned hair hanging limply around his shoulders, sticking to his forehead as the wind pounded against his body. He didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore.
"And where are you off to, cutie?"
Athrun's eyebrow twitched. This was quickly becoming the worst day of his life.
Whipping around abruptly, Athrun didn't care that the voice he had heard uttering those words were distinctly male and sounded like he had begun eating tobacco since the day he was born ... or if the man looked like he could break him in half with his little pinkie if he wanted. He ignored the very painful looking scorpion he had carved into his arm and the limitless amount of rings he had stabbed into his ears, brows and lips, nor did he pay any attention to the dozen or so people behind him who bore a similar resemblance. He didn't care if he died today, but he would be damned if he went out without a fight.
"Look, I've had a very, very, very hard day. And when I say very, I mean it in the most extreme way. I'm lost, I'm tired, I'm wet and I only have one boot, and that alone is extremely irritating in it self. But if you think that I'm just going to roll over and let a band of bumbling baboons like yourself get away with trying anything on me, you've got another thing coming! I'm not a girly-boy and I'm not a fairy! And if you think about calling me cutie one more time, I'll rip that tongue right out of your throat and hang it by the flag pole with you still attached to it! Do I make myself clear?"
His heart gave a sudden heave of satisfaction as the weight was suddenly lifted off of it. But as quickly as the feeling came, it disappeared and Athrun found himself feeling a little afraid. Maybe he shouldn't have threatened then … or called them baboons … or even said anything. As a matter of fact, he should never have been born in the first place and saved himself the pain.
But all of a sudden, the eyes that bore into him turned away and a look was shared with each other before they all burst into laughter. One of the big, scary men (which Athrun would soon discover to be nicknamed Tank) walked up to him and patted him on the shoulder- though it was more like the guy kept whacking him with a piece of metal and Athrun doing his best not to topple over. This guy could have been a Coordinator for all he knew.
"You've got spunk, boy-"
"Athrun!" he blurted out before he could catch himself.
He laughed, "You've got spunk, Athrun, we've got to give you that."
"Thanks … I guess."
"C'mon," he grabbed Athrun by the arm and led him back to the rest of his group without waiting for an answer.
- - - - -
"-and that's what really happened."
There was a moment of silence as (green?) eyes stared disbelievingly into an innocent pair of violet ones. Suddenly eyebrows narrowed and hands shot up to grasp a fist full of blonde hair, "I could just kill you right now, Kira!"
"Well … then who's going to help you look for Athrun?" Kira tilted his head to the side slightly and flashed his twin sister an innocent smile.
Cagalli looked as if she way trying hard not to pounce on Kira and strangle that smile right of his face. Settling with a gritted "Fine," she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out the door, "We have to be quick, who's telling what kind of mess Athrun's getting himself into."
"You're right," Kira stated as a matter of fact, "Athrun does have a tendency to get into trouble … not to mention getting himself shot …"
- - - - -
Oblivious of the predicament his two friends find themselves in by trying to scavenge the entire city of Orb looking for him, Athrun continued to down his drink. One after another, the bottles mount up before him; the drunken flush of his cheeks becoming more prominent with each gulp.
"Nobody-hick-knows my sor-hick-rows," he sang out all of a sudden. The burly person sitting beside him raised one giant paw and patted him on the back, a sympathetic look on his face as he surveyed the inebriated teen in front of him.
"It's not too bad, kid. Everyone here's been through a rough patch at one point in their lives."
Lifting his head, Athrun turned a drunken gaze to the man beside him and slurred out, "Really?"
"Sure, just ask anyone."
"Yeah ... but do they have a psychotic best friend who's sole reason in life is to make theirs a living hell? Do they have a over-bearing girl-pardon- ex-girlfriend whose mere presence makes you feel twenty inch shorter? Do the other people have a hot-tempered, ex-teammate sending them death threats through the Gundam communication system nearly twenty-four hours a day? Or a father who-"
"Okay, okay!" he laughed, holding his hands up in surrender, "I guess no one's had it quite as bad as you."
"Good," Athrun held up a filled glass as if to toast him, "glad we managed to clear that up." His posture was unsteady, waving slightly from side to side as the effects of the alcohol started to take its toll. Lifting up the glass in his hand, he put it to his lips and with one final gulped, downed the entire contents into his throat.
There was a slight rustling sound behind him, which he didn't notice because the room started spinning around, his vision became blurred and he felt himself fall backwards in slow motion. The last thing he remembered was the face of the man beside him going further and further away as the fall began distancing him and his original place, before the hard and cold ground broke his fall.
Then there was silence.
- - - - -
"Come on, Cagalli!"
"I said no, Kira! So leave me alone!"
"Ca-ga-lli," he whined and grabbed a hold of her arm, "it'll be fun."
Eyebrow twitching, Cagalli turned a blazing eye to her brother, "I find nothing fun in having an image that I don't even want, carved into any part of my body where it will stay ... forever!"
Kira pouted and looked away, "Tch. You're such a spoil sport."
She chose to ignore that comment, "Anyway, weren't we supposed to be out here looking for Athrun?"
Kira was about to open his mouth to answer when an unfamiliar voice beat him to it.
"Did you say Athrun?" he started, "good looking kid, about yae (he motioned till up to his armpit) high with long blue hair?"
Kira was about to open his mouth to answer when he was brusquely shoved aside by Cagalli and landed in a heap on the ground.
"That's him! Have you seen him? Where?"
"Whoa, whoa. Calm down, girlie-"
"It's Cagalli!"
"Fine, fine. Sheesh, if I had any doubts about it before, I sure as hell don't have any now."
"Who are you anyway?"
"No one. Just a good Samaritan who happened to stumble on him by accident."
"More importantly. Where is he? Is he hurt? If he is, then I swear to God, Kira, I'll have your neck for it!"
Avoiding any uncalled for confrontations with the scary girl, the man pointed towards the alley that lead to the bar where Athrun had been. Allowing Cagalli to stalk towards the destination first, he lingered back to have a conversation with Kira, "Girlfriend?" he pointed to the blonde girl.
"Yeah … scary isn't she? She's even scarier as an older sister, really."
"Yours?"
"Yep. Not too sure about the 'older' part, though. She believes she is, so … well … who would dare go against her?"
"Good point. By the way, when you say Cagalli, do you mean-"
"Yep, that's her. She seems much more neurotic in real like, doesn't she?"
"Just a tad. Then, if she's the over-bearing girlfriend, then you must be the psychotic best friend."
Kira raised an eyebrow, "Athrun said that?"
"Yeah, well he was a bit drunk by then."
Kira's eyebrows shot to his hairline, "Athrun? Drunk? You're kidding!"
"Nope … we even stopped by the tattoo parlour after his first four shots."
"No way!" Kira's mouth dropped open, "Athrun got a tattoo! Are you sure you're not the one who's drunk?"
"Pretty sure ... strange image it was too. Probably had some sort of sentimental value, though, I can't for the life of me image why someone would want something pink tattooed on any part of his body," he turned to Kira, "unless he's … you know," he flicked his wrist in the air.
"No, no. Athrun's all man," Kira snickered, "but do tell me more about this image he got."
"Well, it was an odd, round thing …"
- - - - -
The lump beneath the covers stirred, twisting painfully from left to right as sweat dripped down the side of his face, soaking into the white material of his pillow. His eyes were clenched shut, face set to a grimace as the dark cloud of a nightmare plagued his mind. Underneath his closed eyelids, he only saw fear; the redness clouded his vision and the grimy hands of death gripped at his heart. With one heave, his body jolted forward into a sitting position, chest heaving heavily as he forced air into his lungs.
All of a sudden, with the power of a speeding train, he felt an unseen force explode inside his head. His hands flew upwards to grip his head as a groan escaped his lips. He felt like crap. And as if suddenly noticing the sudden sharp prick in his derrière, he flopped back ungracefully onto the mattress, turning onto the side to take the pressure of his behind.
"Argh …" Athrun squeezed his eyes tightly, as if the cutting off the sight of the blasted world would help ease the pain. All of a sudden, he felt a slight tip in the mattress behind him like someone had suddenly taken seat behind him. He had no strength to turn around to see who it was, and came to the conclusion that if he ignored him long enough, maybe they'd leave him alone; and if they were robbers, then would just take everything then leave him alone.
"Athrun?"
Oh, great. Was it who he thought it was?
"Are you awake?"
Definitely. There was no mistaking that somewhat effeminate voice.
"Go away, Kira … just let me die!" he grabbed the pillow from under his head and placed it over his ear.
"Stop being a drama queen now," Athrun felt a poke in his side and glared into the white cover, "if it wasn't for Cagalli and me, who knows where you would have ended up."
"Cagalli?" the name of his beau managed to catch his attention and he pulled the pillow back just enough to glance one-eyed at Kira.
"Yeah, she just left a few minutes ago, something about Orb business. Yuna called her, though she didn't really want to go. She did tell me to apologize to you and to ask if you'd come back."
Athrun couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, "Why?"
"Oh … that," Kira grinned sheepishly, "I told her what actually happened."
"About high time," Athrun muttered and turned away from the brunette, "I'll think about it, now leave me alone."
Kira on the other hand, seemed dead-set on not paying Athrun any heed, "So, I met that guy yesterday, Tank. He's a nice person."
"Tank?"
"You know, the guy at the bar. He showed us where you has passed out drunk on the floor."
"Bar? … Passed out? … Drunk?" Athrun turned back to look at Kira, who looked like he did not hear one word that Athrun had said.
"And he showed us the spot where you had gotten that tattoo-"
Allowing the word tattoo sink in for a moment, Athrun shot up out of bed, "WHAT!"
"You mean you don't remember?" Kira looked at him, "the one of Haro you have on your left butt cheek."
"WHAT!"
"It's pretty cute, actually. I bet Lacus would love to see it, the people at the bar all did."
"WHAT!" this all was getting to be too much, Athrun suddenly felt very light headed and decided that he needed to lie down. But before his head had hit the pillow, he had already passed out cold, leaving Kira to his wicked ways in Athrun's unsupervised apartment.
Four hours later, Athrun awoke. At that moment, he knew that he needed to get some stand back in his life. First thing he decided to do was march over to the grumpy old man's territory and let him down from the clothesline he had hung the man from upside down the night before. Then he would march over to the bar, pay the bartender for all the drinks he had and to apologize for Kira's indecent revealing of his butt that night, even though he had to swallow him pride to do it. Finally, he stomped over to the doctors' office to get that image of Haro removed from his precious backside.
An hour later, we find Athrun slumped over the examination table, his red, modest cheek on display for the entire world to see. His face screwed up into an expression of immense pain, but he was glad it was all over. His precious buns were now Haro free. He stood up after much struggle and pulled up his pants, eager to pay the doctor and bid him farewell. Unfortunately, he only got as far as his knees when the words of the doctors' reached his head.
"What about the other one?"
"The … other … one?" his heart gave and unconscious jolt.
"Yes; the one on the right. Didn't you know about it?"
Athrun shook his head, and could only watch helplessly as the doctor walked over to his desk, pulled out a round mirror and handed it to him. Athrun gulped but dared himself to let the surface reflect the image he had on his backside. After a moment of silent staring, he finally blurted out.
"Who the hell is that!"
- - - - -
In the end, Athrun vowed that he would never, ever step into another establishment that condoned the use of needles and lasers. Then he lived to the end of his days, the remaining tattoo imprinted onto his right butt cheek forever displaying the words:
Merry Christmas, Kurisutaru.
Even though he didn't even know who the hell Kurisutaru was.
The End.
I hope you have a very merry (and more fortunate) Christmas day and many more after that :)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Much love,
- Reiven.