Ch1.
Sanji was walking back to his room at the campus. He came back from a pretty awful date…no surprise there. Sanji can't figure out what he did wrong, he had everything planned out, first, he would invite his angel to a lovely restaurant with an amazing view, then he would order champagne, then, while eating, he would tell her how he feels about her and ask her to be his girlfriend and then will finish dinner with an amazing gift, making her fall for him and live happily ever after.
The plan was perfect, he had many bad dates before and he took note of every mistake he made, more like his dates pointing it out, and he made sure to never make them again but even so…he got rejected…and pretty bad. Oh, god, he keeps replaying the whole dinner over and over again.
-FLASHBACK-
"It's really beautiful in here, Sanji."
"Only the best for you, my love." Sanji replied with hearts in his eyes.
Nami truly hates the way Sanji acts with her or any other woman for that matter…but didn't say anything.
"Soo, everything went smoothly with the trade?" Sanji asked to make some conversation.
"Yeah, he gave me more with a little more…persuasion…"
"You are so clever, Nami-swan!"
"Yeah, yeah… can we order now? I'm hungry…"
"Sure!"
They were eating now and Sanji was getting more and more nervous, but phase three was in process.
"Uuuh, Nami-swan, are you enjoying the food?"
Nami replied without looking at him "It's ok…"
'Ok, this is it, do it!'
"I'm glad, my love. I actually brought you here for a purpose. I have someth-"
"Sanji, before you say anything, I only came here because you insisted on it for weeks, but remember this is not a date, ok? Let just…finish dinner and get back, it's getting late…"
Just when Sanji was about to reply, he heard someone chuckle. He turned around finding two beautiful women, not as beautiful as Nami though, giggling at him not too far from their table…
Sanji turned around with his face all red. This is not how he planned everything, but he can still make things right.
"Uh…my angel…"
"Also, Sanji…"
'God...now what?'
"Stop it with the nicknames, ok? It's really uncomfortable, no more Nami-swan, my angel, my love, my goddess, mellorine…it's really embarrassing…"
Sanji could hear the two women behind him laughing by now, saying something like 'poor devil' among other things…
Sanji had his gift held securely in his right hand below the table, he wanted this moment to be unforgettable, but not like this. Tonight was pretty much a failure…so yeah, let's call it a night.
"Y-Yes…Nami." Sanji whispered while taking his fork to finish his dinner… after all he can't waste food.
-END OF FLASHBACK-
What is he doing wrong? As far as he knows, girls love when a man pays for dinner, gives them gifts, spoils them, protects them…he has done all of those things to Nami. After all, she is his princess but she is not interested. And she is not the first, no woman likes him…they always ran away from him, why is that? Well, it could be a lot of things; his physique, his personality…or him… perhaps he is not meant to be with anybody…just a lonely wolf.
Sanji arrived at his room, just when he was about to open the door he spotted the sock hanging from the door lock.
Great, just great…his asshole roommate is getting laid…again. Sanji sighed, knowing he would be out for a long time, he decided to go to his favorite spot.
Sanji arrived at the rooftop of the building, this place is his and his only, only he has the keys, being friendly with the janitor guy has some rewards.
It's a lovely night, full of stars. This was the only place where he felt content, calm, where no woman can hurt his feelings or use him for her benefit. He was not naïve, of course he knew women liked to use him but he thought that perhaps with time, they would love him for him, but he has been proven wrong.
Women are truly an enigma, he would give everything to them, everything… but they would rather be with the bad boy kind of guy…like his childhood friend, his roommate. For God's sake, he can't even remember their name the next morning, but they just keep coming back, they are the ones who call all the time looking for him, not the other way around, they are the ones bringing him gifts, inviting him to dates, paying for dinner…and he doesn't even care! True, Sanji can see why women like him, he is well, what many would describe as…attractive. He is big, strong, he is in the kendo club, the best at it for that matter, mysterious, badass…well, in every girl's dreams, apparently, but…he is also an asshole, sometimes, an idiot who gets lost all the time, bad listener, carefree…but it seems looks wins over personality.
Without him noticing, he fell asleep there.
The next morning…
The sun's rays made Sanji rouse, he stood up with difficulty. Having slept on the floor all night is killing his back. He headed to his room, hopefully his roommate got rid of his one night stand by now.
Sanji arrived just in time to witness his roommate saying goodbye to his lady friend and God, is she gorgeous.
"Soo…you will call me, right?" the poor girl asked with hope.
"Sure, I have your number, don't I?"
"Yeah it's on the table, so don't forget…call me soon, bye!"
'Oh, how naïve can that girl be; but then again so am I, so I have no room to talk.'
Sanji's roommate turned to look at him.
"Wow, seems like someone also got lucky yesterday…you look like shit, shit-cook."
"Shut up, you asshole, I look like shit because someone left me out of my room to fuck another innocent girl…"
"Hey, don't be mad at me, we both set that rule, it's not my fault you can never get any."
'Bastard…but he's right, it's not his fault.'
Sanji got inside without saying another word, he will not talk to this idiot. Unfortunately, his roommate had something else in mind.
"So, how was your date with…with…what was her name again?"
"Nami. Well…not bad." 'A catastrophe.'
"When you say 'not bad', did you actually mean really bad?"
"Well…we both decided to stay friends, it's for the best."
"When you say 'both' did you actually mean…"
"Oh, for God's sake, yes, yes, she, she decided for us to stay friends, she doesn't like me that way, she thinks I am annoying…!" 'Fucking asshole it's like he enjoys watching me suffer.'
"Oh…"
'Oh, Oh? That's all he has to say?' "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to shower and get ready for my class…"
Sanji entered the bathroom and was about to close the door when…
"Hey, cook!"
"What, Marimo?"
"Can you bring me some onigiri like last time? They were really good…"
"Yeah…sure." Sanji closed the door and began stripping when again…
"Cook…" his roommate called from the other side.
"Hmm?"
"You know, Mihawk showed us a really amazing move, we can kill anyone without leaving a trace, we just need to hit the right spot and said person would collapse immediately, it would be a silent kill…"
"I don't want her dead, Marimo, are you crazy? Moreover, if we kill all the women who have rejected me so far, the campus would be without a female population in less than a month."
Sanji heard his roommate chuckle.
"But… I appreciate the thought...thanks, Zoro."
"Sure, Sanji."
Later on…
'My back is killing me. I should really look for a place to sleep when Marimo has company.'
"Sanji!"
Sanji looked up to find two of his best friends, his hyperactive friend Luffy and his liar/storyteller friend Usopp.
"Hi, Luffy! Usopp!"
"Hello, Sanji, what are we making today?" Usopp asked.
"Well, today we are making a soufflé…"
"Looks yummy!" Luffy exclaimed.
"It really is, Luffy."
"So, Sanji, how was your date last night?"
He really should stop telling every one of his friends about his 'dates'.
"Not bad, but it's not going to work."
"What, why not? You're crazy about this girl…"
"Yeah, well…it seems to be one-sided."
"Oh, sorry, Sanji."
"Yeah, don't worry Sanji, you will find someone better. Besides, who needs girls when we have each other?"
"Luffy! Don't say something like that aloud, someone might take it the wrong way!" Usopp said looking around.
"Why?! It's true! What can a woman give to you guys that I can't?!" Luffy yelled.
Everyone was now looking at the trio.
"Hey, you two, get the fuck out of my class!" the teacher yelled.
"Sorry, guys, you must go, I will bring you food later."
"Sure, thanks." Usopp said.
"Bye!" Luffy yelled.
"Eggplant, you know damn well no one is allowed in here besides the teacher and the cooking students."
Some of said students laughed at the nickname given to Sanji. Zeff was his adoptive father and also his teacher for this cooking class, but the old man can be irritating.
"I know, old geezer! No need to remind me!"
"Old geezer?! Let me show you what this 'old geezer' can do!"
And so the fight begins.
Back at the dorm…
Zoro was sleeping in their room, today he has no classes, perfect opportunity to sleep all day while waiting for Sanji and the guys to come back with food, perfect until he heard a knock on the door.
"Shit." Zoro is angry. Who would dare disturb his sleep?
"Yeah?" Zoro opened the door to find a woman with red hair. Did he ask this woman out? Did he sleep with her? He can't remember…
"I-Is Sanji here?" Nami asked, her face all red. 'He's cute.'
"No, he's not, what do you want?"
"Oh, sorry…and you are…?"
"Zoro, his roommate."
"Ah, Zoro, my name is Nami, I need to speak to him. Do you know where can I find him?"
"'Nami' as in the Nami who was total a bitch to him?"
"Did he say that?!" Nami was mortified, moreover because well…she knows it's true.
"Tch! Like he could say something bad about his precious ladies…"
"Look, you don't know me, so you shouldn't-"
"Whatever, that idiot isn't here, and I won't tell you where he is…I don't like you, so I will say this once, stay away from him. He is my best friend and you are not right for him, ok, pumpkin?"
"Pumpkin?!" Nami yelled. This guy could be hot but he is an asshole.
"Would that be all? Yeah? Ok, bye." Zoro slammed the door in her face. Nami stood still a few good minutes outside, petrified and then walked away furiously.
"Tch!"Zoro jumped on his bed, face up. That was Nami? Sanji really knew how to pick them. No…that woman is not good for the cook. He looked really down this morning thanks to that witch. Well, not only this morning, every time he goes to a date; he goes outhappy and comes back sad. He hates to see him like that, but what could he do?
Back in the cooking class…
"Eggplant, your soufflé tastes like shit!"
"Shut up, old man, it's perfect and you know it!"
"How are you going to help me with the restaurant, if you have no taste?!"
The class ended a long time ago but Sanji likes staying for a while with his old man, as exasperating as he is.
"So, anyone special in your life?"
"No…"
"Sanji, when are you going to bring a lovely girl for us to meet? Are you even dating?"
"I am old geezer, I went out with someone yesterday…"
"And?"
"…"
"Soon, eggplant, soon you will find someone stupid enough to stay with you."
"Fuck you, you shitty old man!"
"You little-"
"Sanjiii! Are you ready?! I'm hungry!"
Both Zeff and Sanji turned to look at Luffy waving and Usopp hiding behind him, scared.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Sanji took the soufflé, the onigiri and some snacks for his friends.
"Eggplant…"
"Yeah?"
"You will come on Friday, right?"
"Of course, old geezer, it's your birthday, isn't it? Don't know how much time you have left, who knows, perhaps this could be your last one."
"I am so going to kill you, boy!"
Back at the dorms…
Zoro heard a knock on the door. 'I swear to God, if that fucking red head chick came back, I am going to use my swords to cut her up and throw her remains in a river.' Zoro opened the door.
"Hi, Zoro!"
'Oh, thank God…' "Hi, Luffy, Usopp and…cook? Why are you knocking? Where is your key?"
"I lost it." Sanji said. 'Perhaps I lost it on the rooftop.'
"You really are a mess…"
"Shut up, Marimo or no onigiri for you!"
"You made some?"
"Yeah" Sanji almost laughed looking at Zoro's face. He looked so content. It makes him happy to know his best friend still enjoys his food as much as the first time.
Everyone was eating. Well, more like Luffy was inhaling the food while they were talking about random stuff, and somehow Sanji's romantic life became the main topic now.
"Ahaha, and how about the time that crazy chick asked him to wear a chicken suit for her then she broke up with him and kicked him out and we found him at the bus stop with that freakin' suit!"
"Yeah, yeah, enough, this is my life we're talking about!"
"Oh, come on, cook. You had to admit you always go for the crazy ones" Said Zoro.
"Me? How about you and that crazy gothic chick who stalked you for months and made some voodoo shit with some hair of yours she found in the bathroom."
"You guys are so funny!" Luffy said, laughing.
Another knock at the door.
"It's open!"
Ace, Marco, Franky and Law came in. Seems like all the gang is there, well except for Chopper who is studying for a big test tomorrow.
"Hi guys!" Ace greeted.
"What is so funny?" Marco asked.
"My whole existence apparently…" Sanji said, sulking.
A few hours later…
It was getting late and almost all of them were either a little high or tipsy.
"Seriously Sanji, I know we make fun of you and all, but it sucks, I really thought that Nami girl would be the one for you…" Franky said.
"Oh, come on! She was not!" Zoro said. "She looked like the classic gold-digger type."
"Don't talk about her like that, Marimo!" Sanji yelled.
"See?! This is exactly the shit we're talking about! The reason why those girls left you is because you're like a puppy following them all around, doing everything they want, that shit is not sexy!"
"You're so whipped, bro, that it isn't even funny."
"Oh, oh, ok, so you are all telling me I should be more like all of you? That I should treat them bad, show indifference?" Sanji asked.
"Exactly!" everyone said all at the same time.
"You guys are full of shit." Sanji said.
"Perhaps, but we are the 'full of shit' guys who get laid…"
Well, Sanji can't retort to that, he can't exactly prove them wrong when he is the one always getting rejected. He still believes that women should be treated with respect, no matter what but did that ever work for him?
"You want to get laid? This is what you need to have-" Law said.
"You guys don't get it, it's not just about getting laid, I…I want someone I can share my thoughts, dreams and goals with. Someone I can rely on when I'm down and eventually someone I can build a life with…" Sanji interrupted.
"…."
"Dude, that sounded a little gay…" Ace said.
"You know what they say, 'it takes one to know one'!" Marco teased.
"Guys, guys, let's get serious…look, Sanji, let us first find you a nice girl and we move from there, ok?"
Sanji nodded his head.
"Ok. Now, before I got interrupted, I was saying that this is what you need to find a woman, first, looks…"
"Ok, so, what is wrong with the way I look?" Sanji asked.
"Besides your stupid eyebrows…everything." Zoro said.
"Shut up, Mosshead! You wanna fight?!" Sanji yelled.
"Zoro! I said get serious!" Law yelled.
"I am serious!"
"Aaarrrgh, that's it! The next person that says something senseless will wake up without a kidney…" Threatened Law to his idiotic friends.
Everyone got quiet.
"Now…well, nothing is wrong with your physique, but you can definitely improve it…"
"Like how…?"
"Well, the way you dress…it's weird and what's up with those fake gigantic glasses? Women like a man with nice clothes, not one that looks like a hobo…"
"It's called fashion sense…" Sanji whispered sadly.
"Also your beard…seriously bro, I can't even remember your face with that shit covering half of it!"
"What's wrong with my beard? It proves I am manly…"
"You look like that guy from Duck Dynasty!"
"It's not that bad, don't over exaggerate." Defended Franky. "But it needs to go…"
"Ok, ok, what we're trying to say is that with the perfect clothes and a nice clean shave, you could catch the eye of many woman. Now, second…attitude. Stop that 'I'll be your slave' approach, that's why women take advantage of you, you need to be confident, you know? Take the wheels, show them who is in charge."
Sanji just nodded his head. 'I guess I can do that.'
"And last, but not least, personality…show them some interest but not too much, they like the mysterious kind of guy. We'll help you along the way, so don't worry…"
"Ok, so, when should we start 'Operation Get Some'?"
"'Get some'…really, Franky?"
"Tomorrow, maybe?" Ace asked.
Everyone nodded, tomorrow was fine for all of them except for Sanji who was clearly starting to have doubts.
"Sanji, trust us ok? We 're your friends and we will help you with this, but you must do everything we say, ok?"
"Yeah, ok." Sanji said.
"All set! So, guys, get some sleep and arrive at 0900 hours here, ok?"
"Yeah!" everyone cheered.
"Sanji, more food, please!" Luffy whined.
"God dammit, Luffy, you ate everything while we were talking?!"
Later on…
Everyone went to their own respective rooms. Sanji was brushing his teeth.
He wanted the help, hell, he needed the help, but…pretending to be someone he is not…could he do that?
"Something's on your mind? What is it?" Zoro asked.
"Nothing, just nervous…"
"Don't be, you're in hands of experts, so don't worry."
"Thank God you're humble…"
"I'm serious, you'll get your 'other half' in no time…"
"Yeah…"
"Night, cook, we have a lot of shit to do tomorrow, who knows how long it will take to make you look half normal…"
"Asshole."
"Bastard."
"Mosshead."
"Shit-cook."
"Shitty Swordsman."
"Love ya."
"What?!"
"Haha, sleep well, cook" Zoro headed to his bed and tried to fall sleep. For some reason, he wasn't sure about this plan. A girl or anyone should like Sanji for who he truly is, like he does, but Sanji really wants to be with someone and seems to be ok with this plan, so who is he to stop him…and he really, really wanted to see him happy.
Proofread and edited by Coco42