He Swallows Whiskey

by dustytiger

After the events of 100 David Rossi begins to complete his ability love. He and Emily Prentiss were in an implied relationship, and he needs to get out. How will Prentiss react? How will they both cope? Stand-alone, song-fic.

Title: He Swallows Whiskey
Author: Trista Groulx
Rating: T (unless you have a really good imagination)
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds they belong to their creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring them to life. I also do not own the song. It belongs to Ana Miura.
Summary: After the events of 100 David Rossi begins to complete his ability love. He and Emily Prentiss were in an implied relationship, and he needs to get out. How will Prentiss react? How will they both move forward? Stand-alone, song-fic.
Notes: This is a song fic, based on the song "He Swallows Whiskey" by an amazing local artist named Ana Miura. You should check out her myspace! I have thought of Rossi every time I heard this song since I started watching the show. After talking helping a friend (JenTWCSINYFAN) with her own Prentiss/Rossi fic the female part popped into my brain. This is what I came up with.
Not my normal write, but I like the way it turned out. I'd love to hear what people have to say. It's mostly thoughts, not much dialogue. This is a stand alone, seriously. Please don't ask. I may explore the pairing but I'm kind of partial to Reid.

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He swallows whiskey lays his hand out on the table. Tells the bartender, "I'll have another…"

David Rossi sat in the bar drowning his sorrows. Normally he would not touch American whiskey, he loved his aged Scotch; but after the events of the last month he needed something quick and cheap. He took a swig, and put the glass down. The bartender came over, and silently refilled the glass. He knew he should stick close to this particular drinker. Rossi played picked up the glass and swirled it slightly, out of habit before he poured the liquid down his throat. He needed the burn of the cheap stuff. Still it didn't chase away his demons away.

The ordeal of his long time friend and colleague Aaron Hotchner losing his ex-wife, and true love, to that monster Foyet made him question his ability to love. He had been married four times, and he was finding himself falling in love again. This time he thought he might have found a woman who understood him. Now he questioned whether or not a member of the BAU could find true love, and keep it.

There would always be another monster hiding in the shadows, looking for its pray. He knew he would never have Hotch's strength if a monster got a hold of the woman he had decided to give his heart to. Maybe he wasn't as strong as he wanted to believe, or perhaps he was jaded from seeing so much evil. But he knew what he had to do. He had to break her heart to keep her safe. As well as to keep himself from ever having to feel the kind of pain Hotch was forced to feel. Rossi knew he would not be able to move past it like his friend.

He poured another drink down his throat, waiting for her to join him. He needed the whiskey to keep his courage up. He didn't really want to let her go, but he knew that he had to. Rossi knew that she might be destroyed if she stayed with him, so he was going to spare her the heartache and pain. He was sitting by the door, and felt a cold wind go up his spine as the door opened. He made eye contact with the brunette who came through the door; the woman he had to face.

She was one of the most intelligent, compassionate and beautiful creatures he had ever set his eyes upon. He had promised himself he would not repeat his mistakes when he returned to the BAU, but she had made it impossible. He never could resist a spirited, younger brunette. All of his ex-wives and lovers were all the same type of woman as she was. He knew as a profiler and with his knowledge of psychology that he was making the same mistakes and it was unhealthy. But he truly thought that she was special, and that this time would end differently. He never thought he'd find a connection like they had shared again. He had he had vowed to keep it. Now he knew he just wasn't strong enough to love anyone fully.

She sat down next to him. The bartender smiled at the younger woman, automatically pouring her Guinness. Rossi felt a twinge of jealousy when he saw the way the young bartender looked at the woman. They clearly knew each other, and wondered if she was more then just a patron of the bar. She took a sip of the frothy brew, and simply stared at him for a long moment; as he swallowed another sip from his new glass of whiskey.

… and the lady next to him says "we should try to make amends" but…

Emily Prentiss looked at the man next to her, and their empty glasses. She stared at his once again empty glass of whiskey, and decided that one was enough. She knew that there was something going on inside of his head. She knew whatever it was, was not good. Even while they got closer she found it impossible to get inside of his head. She had always been able to figure out what was going on inside her lovers' heads; but Rossi was a closed book. He knew how to keep her out through all his years of profiling.

The past month had been hell on everyone in the team, but he had helped her through it all. She hoped that she had helped him too. She didn't know how much he had had to drink, so it was harder for her to read him. She knew something wasn't right. Prentiss knew that this could be bad news, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to hear it.

Prentiss went to take his hand, but Rossi quickly pulled it away. She was shocked. She thought they had been getting closer, she thought that was why he had invited her out. She had not been expecting him to pull back the way he was. She caught his eye for a moment, and he quickly looked away, and into his empty glass. The bartender had not returned.

"David, what's going on?" she asked softly. "I didn't mean to snap at you earlier, at the office. You got into my space and I got nervous. We haven't told anyone about us, yet. I shouldn't have assumed that your intentions were amorous. I know you just needed to get that file."

She waited for him to reply, but instead he was staring at the back of the bartender's head in hopes of getting his attention. The bartender turned around and once filled the glass. Rossi stared at the shot for a long moment before once again pouring it down his throat. He could hear her, but didn't respond. He wanted to take her hand, and reassure her, but he couldn't. He stared again at his empty glass.

"I thought we were going to talk," she pleaded. "I need to know where this is going. We can't keep hiding this from everyone. Are you embarrassed about me? Talk to me, David, please?"

"I can't do this anymore," he muttered not even looking at her.

Prentiss couldn't believe what she hearing. She thought that they had something serious, and real between them. Now he was telling her that he didn't want to move forward. She felt like she had been shattered into a million pieces. She had never felt like this before, and now he was taking it all away from her. Prentiss was determined not to break down and cry in front of him. He had just broken her heart in public and she was not going to give him the satisfaction of watching her make a scene.

"The worst part is I thought I loved you," she hissed into his ear, before threw some money down on the bar, and walked out the bar somehow with the same confidence when as when she had come in.

The smell of her perfume and the warmth of her breath sent goosebumps to the back of his neck, and down his spine. He wasn't sure that he had even heard her properly; but he knew that he would not get those feelings back. He knew he had broken her. He hoped that she would be able to recover since they had one been together a few short months.

… he can't hear her anymore…

Rossi hated himself for what he had just done. He hadn't even had the courage to tell her the truth about why he couldn't be with her. He knew he had driven away one of the best chances he had of being happy. But he knew that she could be in danger if they stayed together, and he refused to put her in that position. He throat burned from the cheap whiskey he had been drinking. He paid his tab and got up from the bar slowly.

For a moment he contemplated going over to her apartment and tell her the truth. He knew that she deserved an explanation. He was surprised that she hadn't reacted more strongly to what he had told her. He knew Prentiss she had been strong in front of him, because she refused to betray herself anymore and let him see her devastated and broken by hm. He also knew that if he went to her apartment he might not be able to stick to his decision.

Rossi knew that if he just explained to her that he had had too much to drink that she might even listen to him. He knew he would be able to find a way to make it up to her. Because she loved him; he knew this because he loved her. Instead he decided he needed to calm his nerves he went into the first convenience store he passed.

... he lights a smoke and thinks I'm tired, a little tired, but it's a little early for bed…

He lit a cigarette for the first time since he had retired from the BAU. He had almost forgotten the instant feeling of relief he would get taking that first puff. Screw what the doctors had to say about smoking, it made him feel better. His throat no longer burned, or maybe the burn in his lungs now matched the burn in his throat. He never realised how much he missed the feeling of euphoria he could get from cigarettes and cheap whiskey.

He yawned, realising that he wasn't as young as he once was. He looked at his watch, it was only nine o'clock. He didn't want to go home to his quiet, lonely apartment yet. He kept walking, puffing on the cigarette, until he found the place he was looking for. It had been years since had gone inside a strip club. He hoped that it would give him the same escape it used to.

… so he'll watch the entertainment sing the lights out every night…

He went inside, and found himself a table nearer to the back, but where he was still able to see the stage. Of course, his server would have to be a tall young brunette. He ordered himself a beer. He figured since he had already had cheap American whiskey he could chase it down with cheap American beer. The bottle appeared in front of him, and he took a gulp. He winced at the flavour. It had been a long time since he had had a beer, but on the second sip he began to enjoy the domestic swill.

He was now trying to focus on the entertainment on the stage. His mind however kept wondering elsewhere. He watched the women, and remembered why he hated strip clubs. They were dingy; the drinks were over priced, and the women on stage were unattainable. Worst of all they made him think of all his former wives and lovers, and how much he longed for their sweet caresses. They were just something to look at, not someone he could touch, taste, smell and most importantly feel. It was almost like they weren't even real as they danced upon the stage.

The woman who had served him his first beer was now on the stage; she had peaked his interest, until she began to take off her clothes. She was beautiful, but there was something that wasn't right. He knew it was the fact that she wasn't Emily Prentiss. He put his drink down and began to watch her routine. His mind once again began to drift elsewhere. He sighed softly, remembering that amazing night when he knew that he could cross that line with Emily.

They had gone out with the rest of the team, and both of them had had a few drinks and had agreed to share a cab home. Once they were inside he had gotten the shock of a lifetime. She was not the kind of woman who was shy, or held anything back. She asked him if he found her attractive. He couldn't lie to those amazing brown eyes. The rest of the taxi ride they spent making the cabbie very uncomfortable as they began to explore each other. They got to her lace first and they both exited the cab, hands still all over each other as they went up to her apartment.

He would never forget how many surprises she had for him. She was always go guarded when they were working. When they were alone she opened up to him, she was full of very pleasant surprises. Everything about her had intoxicated him. The way her she smiled. The way her voice would get softer when it was just the two of them. He took a deep breath wishing to be breathing in her soft citrusy scent.

The bad music changing pulled Rossi back to reality. He was not in Emily's bed, surrounded by her warmth. He was in a cold unfriendly strip club. Still he watched silently as another woman took he stage, and began to dance. It was not helping him feel any better. He kept thinking about Emily, and how none of these women were her.

He wanted to go find her and tell her the truth about why he had pushed her away. Then he would beg for her forgiveness. If he was lucky she might listen, and even give him a second chance. He knew that she was his last chance at finding love, because only a fellow profile could understand why he did the job he did; and was unable to commit one hundred percent to family life. He knew deep down inside of him that he never would tell her what she deserved to know.. He decided to order himself one last drink, a whiskey sour, before he left.

…and his tears will be just water in his glass…

When he finally left the club he could feel moisture begin to well in the corners of his eyes. Rossi had done what he had always done when his relationships got too serious, he ran away from it, too scared to make it work. He knew that he might never find what he felt with her again, and should chase all the good in the world that he could. But he had broken her heart. If he knew anything about Emily it was that she was not the kind of woman who easily forgave anyone. He knew that he had lost his chance at finding happiness because of he was a coward.

His head was already beginning to pound, maybe he would find some courage in the morning. She deserved to know the truth about why he had treated her that way he head. Although he knew that she would likely never let him back in. Rossi got home and crawled into his kind sized bed alone. He decided that he would go see her the next morning, to explain himself. But for now he needed to sleep, he had had too much to drink to stay awake any longer. His mind was filled memories and fantasies of her as he drifted off to sleep.

…the fire burning deep inside of all of us we will fix our eyes upon it never stray…

Rossi had had the day from hell, the case they had just come back from had taken it's toll on him. It had gotten under his skin. Worse still he had not been able to get ahold of Prentiss since they had gotten off the jet. She had promised to call him and they would talk, but she hadn't. He didn't want to just talk. He knew she was exhausted, but that had never stopped her before. He opened the door to his apartment and was surprised to hear the sound of water moving form his bathroom. He knew this was going to a pleasant surprise.

"David," her soft sultry voice called to him from bathroom.

"Emily?" he asked, shocked to find her soaking in his bathtub, which was brimming with bubbles. "How did you get in?"

"I borrowed your keys," she purred, slipping under the bubbles for a moment.

"Borrowed?"

"Or stole," she shrugged, standing up. "Are you mad at me?"

His jaw dropped, seeing her standing there before him naked, dripping with water, bubbles still falling down her slender body. She climbed out of the tub. She didn't even reach for a towel, she just stood there grinning mischievously at him. They both knew that he would not be able to resist her, and somehow the vileness of the world would be forgotten for a short while.

"You do not play fair Emily Prentiss," he stated

"I guess I don't," she whispered. "But I know you like it."

"I do."

She moved closer to him, running her hands through his hair. He didn't care that she was getting his suit wet, as he knew he would soon be out of it. He could get another suit if it somehow got ruined, but he knew he would never find another woman like her. She kissed him deeply, knowing that he was not mad at her. His hands and lips immediately began to explore her silky soft snow white skin.

Rossi's eyes flew open, and he realised he was alone in his own bed. It had just been a dream. It had been a fabulous dream about one of the most amazing nights of his entire life. He wished he had woken up to find her next to him, then he began to remember what he had done to her. He sighed and curled up into his sheets, wishing he could get back what he knew he had lost.

He knew that if he wanted to talk to her would have to do it sooner rather then later, but his head was pounding. He would not have been able to remove himself from his heartbroken hangover hell if a fire had broken out at that moment. He rolled over, and went back to sleep, tears falling silently on his pillow.

…we will try to figure out why this fire just burned out…

"What's going on inside that head of yours, David?" she asked him as they laid together in her bed.

"You're a profiler, you tell me, Emily," he challenged.

"I thought we weren't supposed to profile each other. Besides, we both know how to keep each other out. Although, I think you're better than me."

He kissed the bridge of her nose. "You're right. Now, you're just as good as me at keeping me out. It's a woman thing. I was just thinking about how beautiful you are, and wondering what you are doing with an asshole like me."

"I thought it was fairly obvious what I am doing with you. I don't see an asshole next to me. I see a man who is brilliant, complicated and intense. But who also has a very soft caring I am very lucky to have the chance to see. Because he doesn't often let anyone in," she explained, walking her hands up his chest. "You also happen to be incredibly sexy but that's a matter of personal opinion and taste."

"That sounds like profiling to me. You are a good profiler, you seem to have me pegged right on. It's a good thing you know how to butter me up or I might have had to get mad about you using your excellent profiling skills in bed."

"Good." She laughed. "So, are you going to punish me?"

"Even if I tried you'd just end up enjoying it." He pulled her to him gently. "Tell me something I don't know about you."

She thought for a long moment. "I once brought a woman as a date to one of my mother's stuffy parties just to get a rise out of her." She ran her hand down his abdomen.

"Emily, I do believe you are trying to distract me."

"Yes, I am. You can ask questions about that experience later. That is if you are curious. Right now I am busy trying to make you get the stupid grin on your face"

He grinned at her, his eyes wide. He was about to open his mouth when she covered his lips with hers, letting her hands fall lower. Rossi woke up again, he could almost feel her hands upon him, but the realised that it was just a dream. His head was pounding. The whole night had not been a terrible nightmare, he had pushed Emily from his life. He only hoped that he was not too late, and he would be able to see her one last time to explain the truth.

… and we will see that it is our own two hands…

He had driven Emily from his life. He knew somehow, deep inside, that he would never see her again. She would never give him that chance to explain himself because she was the kind of woman who only let herself be hurt once. He realised that she had told him so many secrets about herself, but he had never once opened up to her. Emily was a woman who valued her secrets, and had shared what she had because she had loved him. What he had done to her was one thing in the world which she would find unforgiveable.

He knew that she had been hurt before. She had been taken advantage of by a few of the men in her life and that had made her tough. He may not have ever taken advantage of her body, but he had taken advantage of her mind. That would hurt her more then the most brutal of attacks. She was able to compartmentalize better than anyone he knew when it had to with pain, but he knew that she was a little more fragile when it came her emotions. That was why he knew he would never see her again. She could not let herself be shattered again by the same person.

Rossi suddenly felt like the monsters that he had chased down his whole career. He had found her only weakness and had used it against her. Emily Prentiss wanted to be loved, and to settle down; their tender moments had lead her to believe that that could happen. But now she would believe that it was all a lie, unless he was somehow able to find her and explain to her why he did what he did what he had to her. She would spend the rest of her life running from him to stop herself from being hurt again.

… she walks alone…

Prentiss knew that it was stupid to walk the six blocks home from the bar where she had last seen Rossi, but she needed to clear her head. She could not understand how they had gone from being what she thought was something serious, to him completely ignoring her, and telling her it was over with no explanation. He had been so cold to her she just kept playing the scene back in her head. She couldn't believe she had actually fallen in love with him, and believed he could feel the same way.

Everyone had warned her that David Rossi was a bad news, that he was a womaniser. He was someone who was incapable of love, but she thought she knew better. She thought that age had mellowed him, that somehow she could change him. She wanted to believe that he was really different. Yet here she was walking home alone, tears falling down her cheeks her heart breaking; while he sat in a bar quickly polishing off a bottle of cheap whiskey not even making an attempt to stop her from walking out of his life. It would have been easier to take had he been sober. Since he was drunk she still had hope that he might call her the next morning to apologise and she would be vindicated.

She hated herself for actually wishing he would call and tell her it was all a drunken mistake. She knew that if it was she would take him back if that's all it was, even after the way he had treated her. She had never thought she would ever consider forging anyone before; but she had never loved anyone the way that she had loved him. She felt like the stupidest woman in the world. David had hurt worse then anyone had, since before it had all been physical. She felt slightly sick, but kept walking.

It was nice to feel the cool autumn air against her face. She wished she didn't live in the city so she could smell the earthy smell of the leaves beginning to decompose after they fell. Instead her nostrils were filled with the smells of garbage, and concrete. She wished she had had a couple more drinks to help numb her senses, but she knew that in the end that would only make this situation worse. Instead she went right home, knowing she would be flooded by memories as soon as went inside.

She unlocked her door, and let herself inside the dark cool apartment. She hated putting the heat on too early in the season. Every inch of her apartment reminded her of him. He had always insisted that they go there. He told her it was because her neighbourhood was quieter, and she had less nosey neighbours. She never really thought about it before, but now she wished she had not agreed to that. She had always felt at home in her apartment before. Now, however, it just brought up memories she wished she could forget of nights she knew in her heart she never would.

She went into her room, after having a cup of tea to help her calm her nerves. She knew that drinking was not going to help this problem. She would only be more upset her more in the morning. She was ready for the onslaught of amazing memories when she went into her bedroom. Then reality set in, they were going to be just memories, they would not be spending any more time there together. All of those moments they had shared would haunt her, if she didn't find a new place to live. She was too tired late to go anywhere else then. She got into her bed, and curled into her sheets, hugging a spare pillow close to her.

…and lays her hand out on the pillow thinks well I guess I've always been alone…

Prentiss had never needed a man in her life before, now. She wondered when she had let that change. She had always said she was perfectly happy by herself. She could not believe she had actually thought she was ready to let him into her heart fully. She thought of all the personal stories and truths she had shared with him, thinking that if she opened up he would too. Tears began to spill down her cheeks as she thought back to all the moments and memories they had shared. She knew she would never be able to face him again.

She had some hard choices ahead of her. If she faced him again she knew she might begin to fall for his charms once again; but if she chose not to she would have leave her job, which meant leaving the only family she had. She had never felt like she had belonged anywhere more then she did when she was with the team. She knew that it would no longer feel the same after what she had shared with David. It was not fair to the rest of the team to have to face their drama. She could not go back, not with him watching her, and trying to explain himself any time she made the mistake of being alone with him. She could not live with that, she knew what she had to do even if it pained her to even think about it.

She sighed realising the pillow she was hugging smelled like David's musky cologne. She had never noticed before that he always smelled a little like Scotch. The smell had always comforted her before, but now it upset her. Tears were still falling down her cheeks, and she pushed the pillow away from her. She had some very difficult decisions to make about her future, and she was not sure she was ready to make them yet. Even though she knew she had to in order to keep away from him.

…and she prays a little prayer to the god she hopes is there…

"Help me to get through this," she whispered into the darkness night. "Help me to figure out how to move on with me life, and forget that David Rossi was ever in it."

She sat up slowly, wiping her tears. She knew what she had to do and it was going to be the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. The quicker she did it the less likely she would be to get sucked back into his charm and lies. She knew what she had to do. She flicked on her night light and began to write a note, mostly to collect her own thoughts while they were still fresh. If she felt the same way in the morning she knew what she would have to do.

She removed the gold necklace she had been wearing for the past month. It had been a gift from David. He had said that it reminded him of her and it was his way of telling her that he was committed to her. Since they had still not gone public he told er could not buy her a ring. She had believed that it was his way of telling her that he loved her, but now she wondered if maybe he had only given it to make her stay with him. It had helped her get past her insecurities.

She had started to question his reluctance to tell the rest of the team before he had given it to her. The piece of jewellery had reassured her that one day he would stop hiding her away, and they would be able have a real future together. She had seen the token as something sweet meant to help the two of them when they could not be together. But now she saw it for what it was, it was a noose that he kept her tethered to him. While she stupidly believed that one day they might find happiness. She threw the necklace across her room she would leave it there to rot if it would.

…and her ring falls like her heart does every day...

She curled up into herself and began to sob. She was crying for lost love, and for her own naivety. She had been able to resist of the advances of Derek Morgan realising that he was just a player, looking for a good time. But she never for a moment saw David as an older more cunning version of Morgan, despite what she had heard about him. She had wanted to believe with her whole heart that he was different with her.

She had broken a simple rule of dating; don't fall in love with a player, and if you do never let him know that you love him. The moment he found out a woman was in love with him, was the moment he would flee. A player wanted freedom, and love was the opposite of that. Now because she had broken that rule she laid alone in her bed with a broken heart and lot of memories of something she would never be able to find again. Her heart was his, and even if she found another man her mind would always wonder back to the most amazing lover she had ever known.

She cried herself to sleep thinking about all of the special moments they had once shared in that bed, in that room, and anywhere in her entire apartment the pair could think of. Once she found it exciting and fun, now she knew that would mean she would need to run farther the she had ever thought she would. She knew she had to leave her whole life behind her in order to move forward. She knew it would be long time before she would laugh and trust again. She was going to be leading a sad and solitary life, but it was better then living a lie.

…and every sorrow deep inside of all of us could be taken like a leaf plucked from a tree…

Prentiss was laying in her bed, feeling more then a little foolish. She had been searching for a book to lend to Reid and she didn't noticed one of her snow globes slipping off the top shelf, and now she was at home, unable to work because of an unnecessarily stupid concussion. She heard her front door open, knowing that it was David. She didn't really want to see him, she was so embarrassed.

"How are you feeling Emily?" he asked.

"Stupid," was her reply. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought you might want some company while you are recovering. Besides, when you have a concussion you need be woken up every two hours. I have a few ideas about how to wake you up which, I promise will be a lot more fun then a phone call."

She couldn't help but grin. "I'm not going to get rid of you am I?"

"You want to?"

She shook her head, and pulled him close to her. Kissing him gently, glad that he was there. His hands began to explore his body. His beard and moustache tickled her face, and she loved it. She never really cared for facial hair before she had met him, but he kept it soft and well groomed, and it felt nice against her skin. She woke up with a growl, wishing she would be able to feel that moustache against her skin one last time so she could memorise the way it tickled and teased her. She soon began to drift off again, her mind filling, once again, with thoughts of him.

…and carried to a place maybe heaven maybe space…

Prentiss had just finished telling Rossi the full story about the time she took her friend Ally with her to one of her mother's big political functions, including the fact that she had kissed the women just to get a rise out of her mother. The two women had reminded friends. She had even agreed to let him meet her one day, as long as he promised not to let on that he knew about their well guarded secret.

"Now I've told you something very personal, and a tiny bit embarrassing it's only fair that you answer a question for me," she said, circling her finger around his nipple.

"I guess that's only fair, but if you want me to speak you are going to have to stop that for a moment if you want me to be able think straight enough to give you an honest answer."

"Did you love your ex-wives?" she asked suddenly.

"I think so, but I don't think I knew what love was then."

"And you do now?"

"I believe so. That was two."

She grinned, and he kissed her. Her heart began to swell. That had been enough to ease her fears about him. She believed that it meant that one day they would be able to have a real future together. He just needed time to let everything play out so no one would accuse him of rushing into anything again. She wanted to settle down with him, and she believed in her heart that if they did they would be able to make it work. She knew that his fifth marriage would be the one what would be forever.

…and we would never have to hold it anymore…

Emily woke up, again she was in tears. Her mind was still reeling with thoughts of marriage, and happiness with David Rossi. She had wanted to believe that she had been different, that their love was real. Now she knew she had just been deluding herself. David Rossi was incapable of loving anyone. She got out of her bed slowly, and began to take out her bags. All of her years of moving had stuck with her, she never owned more then what she could pack up and take along with her.

She had actually considered starting to buy her own furniture for this apartment when she was with David, but now she was glad that she hadn't. She began to take out her suitcases, and the boxes she hid in the back of her closet. She began to quietly put her things away. She didn't want to leave the BAU, she loved her friends like they were siblings she had never had, but she needed to escape. She could not look David Rossi in the eyes without falling to a million pieces; she would never give him that satisfaction.

…she had hope that every day would be like Sundays…

Prentiss put her last box into her green Dodge Ram pick up truck. She then pulled the tunnel cover over everything to protect everthing. She couldn't believe that her whole life was now on her flatbed. She needed a fresh starts, she wasn't sure where she was going to go. All she knew was that she had to get as far away from David Rossi as she possibly could.

She had wanted to forget about all of her dreams of settling down and taming David. She knew that meant leaving her whole life, and the job she loved. She could not risk having to face him years down the road when the team was called in to help on one of her cases. She had no idea what she was going to do now, but she knew she would figure it out somehow.

She got into the driver's seat, stopping first at Quantico in order to drop off her letter of resignation, as well as her weapons and her identification cards to the security guard. The young man looked surprised as she surrendered her career, but said nothing. He had seen her often, she always seemed so happy and passionate about her job. He wished her good luck as she left, and she knew that she would somehow move forward.

She got back into to her truck, and drove until she was afraid she may cause an accident due to her increasing fatigue. She wasn't sure which small town she was in anymore, but she was glad when she found a quaint looking bed and breakfast. She hated hotel rooms, they were all so sterile. But she had always loved to stay in small town lodgings where you could get to know the people who you shared the space with. She knew that getting to know someone would help her get past him. She already felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders just by fleeing.

…. but I guess her heart was much deceived…

The woman at the desk tried to ask her what had brought her to town, but Prentiss was too tired for small talk. She promised that she would be more up to chatting over breakfast. This seemed to please the woman, who reminded her of her grandmother. She went up to her room, and smiled when she saw the homey looking room. It had a few more flowers then she would have liked for herself, but it was inviting, and it was clean.

She pulled the covers back, the sheets smelled like bounce dryer sheets. There were no memories there, she could forget all about the man who had broken her heart. She smiled a little despite herself. She was determined to not fall apart over a man. She had already left her life change because of him she was not going to betray her soul. She knew she had made a mistake falling in love with Rossi, but she knew she would somehow find herself again. She would never make the same mistake again. She was going to be happy, even if that meant that she had to be alone.

Maybe she would even stay in the small town she had found herself in. She was sure she could find herself a nice home, or at least a room for the time being. She knew that she would be able to get a temporary job in the small town until she was able to decide on a new career. No one would be able find her there, because she was going to re-invent herself. As much as JJ complained about small town life, Prentiss had always thought it had a strange appeal. She felt safe in the small town for the first time in a long time she wasn't afraid to be alone.

Prentiss refused to let herself completely fall apart over a player like David Rossi. He had already stolen her career from her she was not going to let him rip away her future. She felt tears begin to fall down her cheeks again, but these were for the friends she had a left behind with no explanation as to why. She hated that she was hurting them, they really were like the family she had never had. One day she would find a way to explain everything to them without ruining what was left of the team.

… and he wonders down the alleys with his coat up to his cheeks…

Rossi walked past Emily's old apartment building like he had every night the team had been home since she had sent her resignation. He wanted to catch one more glimpse of her, and if he found some bullocks he might even explain to her why he had chosen to drive her away. He knew that she was long gone. But that building brought back warm memories and it was the only time he felt whole. He knew that it was because of Emily, and he had sent her away. He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to feel that way about a woman again.

He had even tried to get Garcia to find her, but she had told him that she had made impossible to track her down. Emily Prentiss did not want to be found. He knew it was because of him, but he never told anyone else the truth. If he had had a chance to do it over again he knew that he would end up doing the same thing. At least this way he didn't get years of the happiness only to have it get ripped away by some monster. He had stopped it before it destroyed them both. He had seen it happen far too often, and he refused to let it happen to him. He would rather be alone from the rest of his life.

He wished that he had told at least once that he had loved her. He had found the necklace that he had given her in the corner of her empty bedroom, after the team had been convinced that Prentiss would never leave the team upon her own free will. The only thing left in apartment was her furniture. The team had hoped that they might find notes from her, but there was nothing. She was gone she had vanished in the night. He knew that the necklace was meant for him. Rossi sighed, and threw it into the snow. He would never have use for the trinket again.

His eyes welled up with tears, but he quickly wiped them away. He walked into the bar where he had last seen her. Sitting down on the same free stool he always did. The bartender looked over, pouring him a cheap whiskey. Rossi poured it down his throat quickly, it no longer burned. Eventually he hoped that the drinks would also numb his heart. He wanted to forget that he had ever been in love. It would hurt less that way.

…though his heart is much colder than the wind.

Rossi looked up at the newest transfer to the BAU team. He sighed she was five foot ten, with long brown hair and green eyes. He wondered how Hotch had managed to hire another member of the team who reminded him of all of his ex-wives and lovers. As much as he didn't want to notice her, he couldn't help it. He promised himself that he would not try anything with this member of the team.

It was bad enough that he had chased Emily away from the FBI. He hadn't even told the team the truth yet. He was still expecting letter to show up from her explaining everything. He didn't want the team to know how he had treated her. The new member of the team was talking to him, but he wasn't listening. He was daydreaming, as always, about Emily.

Anastasia Blake was brilliant and beautiful she was the kind of woman that David Rossi had always preferred. Even if it made him question his own sanity, and dark side, he would always want a younger, tall, smart and sexy brunette. He knew he would not make the same mistake again. Rossi knew that a big part of the reason he would never try anything with the gorgeous woman who stood before him was because she was not Emily Prentiss.

The End

Notes: Wow that was hard… no happy ending. Yikes. I am sticking to my guns on this one. No sequel cause I'll break down and make it fluffy, and I don't want it fluffy. I want something dark and brooding. Tell me what you thought, please. I want to know!