ABC
Love is simple as ABC. Randy Orton teaches the alphabet of love. *2nd entry to Pixiella's Back To School contest.*
A/N: Now this is where I try and get creative, and attempt writing humor.
Adam Copeland stomped his way into his apartment and slammed the door in process. Randy, was seen laying back in a chair when he heard Adam enter the house in a rather dramatic manner. Turning his head, curiosity peaking, Randy couldn't help but ask.
"How'd it go?" Randy asked him. Adam sighed and looked at Randy tiredly. It was pretty obvious it didn't go too well. "Adam? Was it really all that bad?" Randy asked him.
"Yes Randy, it was terrible." Adam sighed. "She is clueless. She doesn't know how to love me, so I gave up. I walked out on her. I don't know Randy, I guess we just needed some space, some time alone I guess."
"Please, that's your excuse every time you get out of an argument with your girlfriend. 'She doesn't know how to love me, we need some space.'' Randy said imitating Adam's tone and exact words from his last relationship."Did you ever stop to think about that, maybe it's just you causing the problem in the relationship and not her?" Randy asked him.
"Excuse me? Are you actually assuming that this is my fault?" Adam asked him. "I don't know Adam. It all depends on what really happened." Randy raised his eyebrows at him, as Adam begins to pout helplessly.
"Amy said I don't ever pay attention to her. Apparently there's another woman in my life." Adam replied. "Really? Who?"
"Ashley..." Adam mumbled low enough so Randy couldn't hear him. "I'm sorry, what?" Randy asked cupping his ear, prompting Adam to speak louder.
"You know my friend Ashley? It's her apparently." Adam gave in, sighing in annoyance.
"Ashley Massaro?" Randy asked cocking his head to the side. "Yeah, her." Adam mumbles. Thinking about it for a moment, Randy's face turned into an amused grin, his eyes widened with surprised.
"HA! So it is you! I knew Ashley was getting a little bit too cozy with you! See that's your problem Adam, your always blaming the girlfriend." Randy yelled jumping out of his seat and jumped around like a 7 year old getting a new bicycle for Christmas.
"No, see not everything's my fault. You and Amy make it seem that way though." Adam spat. "And to think I was going to marry her. I bought this engagement ring with a HUGE diamond on it. I was hoping this would show her how much I appreciate her and how much I love her. But I guess not." Adam sighed.
Randy squatted down so that he was facing Adam. "I'll give you props Adam. Diamonds are a girls' best friend, but you cant buy love." Randy told him.
"But Randy, ITS AN ENGAGEMENT RING HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THIS?" Adam exclaimed. "I understand that, Adam. But you're using the diamond as a token to steal Amy's love for you. If you want to make her happy it's inside that counts. What comes from your mouth, comes from deep within...your heart. If I recall, this diamond isnt your heart and very soul."
"Alright, smartness. What do you suppose I should do?" Adam asked him. Randy smiled. "I have an idea." Randy stands up and starts to pace back and forth.
"Love is a beautiful thing. Love can be sometimes hard to get, but as for me. Not so much. Because learning how to love is simple as learning your ABCs. When I look at it this way, there's two ways of knowing the letters of the alphabet. Elementary school, and of course, my way. So, Adam, would you like to know your ABCs?" Randy smirked as he enjoyed making Adam irritated, raining on his parade.
"If there's a God right now, he hates me." Adam mumbled hitting his head against his knees.
Randy only smiled. "I'll take that as a yes." Clearing his throat, Randy started to sing the alphabet song but in a rather different style.
"A" maybe you can "B" something she can "C" "DEF"initely. You know she want a "G" who can take you "HI" higher than a "J" "K?" Randy looks to Adam for confirmation on him understand his interpretation of the alphabet.
Adam sighed. "If you must insist on torturing me, then yes, I understand. But seriously? Is all this necessary?" Adam asks him.
Randy laughs in response. "Adam, you're so hopelessly clueless on how to manage to stay in a relationship with someone, instead of going back out to fix things with your girl, your sitting on the couch. How about you go grab a couple of beers and have a few drinks, maybe it'll make a perfect example of how much of a screw up you are to women."
"I thought you were trying to help me? What's the point of this whole alphabet song if you are going to criticize me?" Adam asked him.
"I'm not criticizing you! I'm trying to help you get back into a serious relationship instead of going up in some strip club looking for a booty call." Randy tells him.
"A booty call? What the hell?" Adam exclaims confused on Randy's terminology.
"You're such a nerd. And you claim to have a girlfriend, to be in relationships and you don't know what a booty call is? A booty call is basically a one night stand. Idiot."
"Oh well, Randy, you mind writing a dictionary for me because I have no idea what the hell you're trying to tell me sometimes." Adam insists, having a sigh escape from Randy's lips. "Anyway, where WAS I before I was RUDELY interrupted" Randy spat.
"You left off at the letter K. Boy, I'll tell ya, where's my cd player when I need it?"
"The basics of the alphabet, in my case is learning what a girl wants in a man and learning what girls like. Actions speak louder than what I say, but If I had to pick the letters from the alphabet, this is what I'll say. "L" ove "M" akin in the bedroom, "N" ipping off her clothes with your teeth. Her, screaming "O"ut your name. Love is as simple as ABC all you gotta do is sing with me." Randy sang also adding a few dance moves in the mix.
"Trust me, I'd rather not. And oh God, you're throwing in dance moves too? Shoot me now!" Adam yelled throwing his hands up in the air.
"Ahh, Adam. It's these kind of actions which make girls think that you'd be on your "P's" and "Q's" Randy smirked.
"Now, what does P and Q stand for?" Adam asked gaining a little interest.
"Does it matter what it stands for? It's MY song, MY interpretation of what each letter mean or do not mean at all. And if you don't like it, I believe you could go to Hell." Randy replied.
"Fine. Whatever you say." Adam said as layed back on the couch. There was a moment of silence, Adam expected Randy to finish the song, but there was nothing.
"So?"
"So?"
"Are you going to finish your stupid song?" Adam asked him.
"I already did." Randy told him.
"What? You left off at Q! You still got..." Adam paused as he actually took a second to count how much letters Randy have left to finish the song.
"Aww, Adam, dont tell me you dont know how many letters there are in the alphabet! Look, I've 'X'ed out the rest. Now you need to call Amy and say, 'AMY! I got eyes for Y-O-U!'" With that being said, Randy tossed him the telephone.
"Now go! Get out of my face! I am planning to be catching a few "Z's" and I dont want to hear no ruckus. And if I do wake up hearing this, I'll be angry, and when I'm angry, EVERYONE'S in trouble. Got it?"
"Fine. I cant believe you wasted 15 minutes of my life torturing me, singing that agonizing song!" Adam took the phone and went outside to try and fix things up with Amy again, slamming the door in process.
A/N: Didn't expect that I cut the rest of the alphabet short eh? Haha! xD Anyway, I just thought I write something fun for a change. I had fun writing it! But honestly, I dont think it's my best. Well, what do you think? Review and give me your thoughts! :D