Nar Jag Blundar SuFin
Tino awoke wrapped in the arms of the person he cared most about. The person who so recently was nearly lost to him. Tino could remember too vividly the last words he had let fall from his lips at his beloved's profession. Hurt pain anger confusion blurring together. But now he was comforted by the familiar scent and steady heartbeat of said person. Berwald's faded T-shirt was curled into the smallish hands of the younger Fin as he shifted closer to the much larger Swede and resting his head on Berwald's chest relaxed in the knowledge that his world could regain its colour.
Close to each other, the scent of us two. Turns around, the same shirt but blue. The scent I sense would be nothing without you. Like an ocean without water. Like a lantern without light. A life without colours that isn't you.
Berwald woke this time with Tino clinging to him for dear life. Ironic. For Tino had been the one keeping Berwald's world brighter than it had ever been. Looking at the little Fin he thought about how Tino had shown him life in a different light. A better life. It had left him more than a little bewildered and hurt when Tino had reacted with vehement negativity to his love. He was again in the dark, but knowing there had been light warm, soft , and gentle made it all the more unbearable. He had reached his limit…he had thought no one could bring him back, but then for some yet unexplained reason the day Berwald put himself on the edge, Tino had appeared in a fit of hysteria and murmured words only faintly remembered. But Tino had brought with him a light back into Berwalds life. A light to live and die for. A light to laugh and cry for. A light to comfort and protect.
Someone you see when you close your eyes like an angel before you. Someone who helps you fly when you've forgotten how to do it. Beloved without feelings, laughter without sound. A life without colours that's not you. Someone who's forgot all worries a person with courage. Someone who understands what you feel even though you speak without words.
As if his stare could be felt Tino turned his round face meeting Berwald's gaze. He could see the questions the hopes the hurt that still remained, haunting those sea-green eyes. Sitting up Tino, had no idea what he wanted to say first…so many things 'im sorry' 'I love you' 'I didn't mean any of it' 'don't ever leave me' 'don't you know how much you mean to me?'. Brown eyes shimmering with emotion Tino opened his mouth to speak but instead burst into tears. He had been so scared. So so scared when he had seen Berwald lying in the dark with blank staring eyes that looked too much like a corpse's. He had lost it. Even thinking about that moment when his world had turned grey was enough to set Tino off. Berwald wrapped him in a hug that confirmed his continuance. Tino cried into his chest whilst Berwald held him. When he pulled back Berwald instantly let go remembering Tino's previous words, Tino wiped his eyes saying, "Look at me, crying when I was the one who-" Tino broke off guilt's fingers squeezing his heart, as Berwald silently waited for him to continue. "Ber I honestly thought you had died…and it scared me. It scared me to think of a life without you. To never see you again. And it made me realize something, something that shouldn't have taken you almost dying for me to see…I-I love you." His confession ended in a whisper. He looked down and continued, "I know you probably hate me for all those horrible things I said and did but I didn't mean them, I was just so surprised, I couldn't take it in, and I hope you can forgive me for every horrible thing I've put you through Ber… I don't blame you if you hate me but i-" he was cut off by Berwalds hand tilting his face upwards, and pressing his soft lips to Tino's.
"I could never hate you." Eyes shining with new tears of happiness Tino gazed into Berwald's face
"Really?"
"Truly" Berwald gave him a rare gentle smile and eyes so full of love spoke more than a thousand words possibly could. Tino who felt as if his heart was so full of love relief and a hundred other exuberant emotions it felt like bursting, he could practically see the ice falling away from each beating heart, almost hear the happy light that shone from both faces. And he could most definitely feel the love that enveloped each of their worlds, in which one only saw the other.
Sit down, we hold your hand. Tell who you are. We exist for each other. All memories would be nothing without you. Like an ocean without water, like a lantern without light, a life without colours that's not you. Someone you see when you close your eyes like an angel before you, someone who helps you fly when you've forgotten how to do it. Beloved without feelings, laughter without sound, a life without colours that's not you. Someone who's forgot all worries, a person with courage, someone who understands what you feel, even though you speak without words.