You know what? I really hate that saying, "life and love goes on" for more than one reason. Sure, life goes on, but it never feels the same way. In some sort of messed up way, it starts to carry you down deeper into the pits of despair until you are asking for the same untimely end. As for love, can't say I know how to answer that one. I loved them both. I never wanted this to happen, but what can I say? I'm pretty sure they thought I hated them. Every day I told them I wanted to move out, that they failed as parents. The worst part…they believed it. I was selfish and I knew it.
God how I missed them, But like the saying "life and love goes on"…
And as life goes on, it happens to lead me to a shitty little town in the middle of nowhere where I was to live with my Aunty until I was eighteen. The tragedy happened over a month ago, but still very raw in my heart. I had a full year until I turned eighteen. Well, a full year tomorrow, at least. I hadn't yet turned seventeen.
'Belly?'
How many times do I have to tell her? For fuck sake! 'In the kitchen, Aunty!' It was ten o'clock and I should consider going to bed for my first day of school tomorrow, but I was too worked up. I've never been to a new school. I went to one primary school and one high school, soon to be two. It had my blood pumping.
'Sorry I'm late, sweaty,' she apologised.
'You work two jobs, trust me, I'm surprised you're even home this early,' I shrugged as I threw a plate of leftover chicken into the microwave. 'Want some?'
'Nah, I'm alright. Going to bed, actually,' she said as she yawned,' have to be up and gone by five tomorrow for a business meeting.'
'Oh,' was all I said. She worked so much, missing out on friends, sleep and just chilling out. All this so she could support us.
She began her assent up the stairs located across from the kitchen doorway. 'Night, Darling.'
God, that nickname was almost as bad! I only let her continue calling me childish names because I had no right to tell her to cut it out. She has been good to me ever since my parents passed away, and I was grateful. 'Night, Aunty!'
I went to bed shortly after, falling asleep to the sound of Shakespeare on the TV. If only I could find my Romeo…
Groggy from my uncomfortable position on the two seater all night, I was grouchy when I woke, stubbing my toe on the stairs on my way to the bathroom.
'Son of a mother-hoe!' That was a new one, Bella.
Rushing back down stairs, I took my time getting breakfast, playing little movies in my head about what today would be like. My eyes wondered to the clock on the wall. I almost swallowed my spoon. It was half passed eight! School starts in ten minutes.
Throwing my bowl in the sink, not caring about the mess, my legs carried me up the stairs at a speed I didn't even know I had. Adrenalin pumped through me at the thought of going to a new school, meeting new people; a real change in scenery.
Throwing a plain back singlet on that hugged every curve I had, leaving nothing to the imagination, I slipped my feet into a pair of red flats, yanked my yellow sweater off of the back of the door as I swung it shut.
I was in my car, speeding down the quiet, misty streets of forks in a matter of minutes.
The school was easy enough to find. As I was pulling into the parking lot, about to swing into reverse for a parking spot, another car sped in, cut me off, taking the spot I was going for.
'Are you kidding me?' I yelled. Oh, hell no!
Jumping out of my car-a shitty Volkswagen-I sauntered across to where five students were getting out of their shinny Volvo. They were all pale, beautiful and mysterious to the eye. But to me, these were signs of popular kids, and in my last high school that didn't go down so well. I hated popular people, and they seemed to hate me within the first few seconds of looking at me.
All of them stared at me in surprise, but one of them-a tall guy with bronze hair-looked like he was in pain. Good, saves me from kicking his ass.
Placing my hands on my hips, I said, 'What the hell is wrong with you guys?'
'What do you-.'
'Don't,' I cut the blond haired girl off, eyeing her up and down,' even try to excuse yourself. You guys could have caused as accident! I was clearing backing into this spot, but you go ahead and fucking cut me off.'
'I knew what I was doing. We wouldn't have crashed,' was all the bronze coloured guy said.
'Yeah, that may be the case, but I didn't. Does it look like I can read minds? If I panicked than it could have turned really ugly and we could all be sitting in the hospital.'
Sharing a look that told me I was amusing to them, the blond spoke up again.
'You're new here, aren't you?'
'I…Uh, yeah, yes. Why does that matter?' I demanded.
A little girl with spiky black hair the colour of night laughed. 'People never speak to us.'
Aren't they popular, though? Look at them-the way they dressed, stood, presented themselves-they had to be in the "in" crowd.
The warning bell rang, telling any stragglers to get to class before they started issuing detentions. Casting a glance towards my car, making sure it was parked properly; I turned and walked stiffly to my first lesson, felling their stairs boring into my back the whole way.