Note from SF: Silly one shot done for the kmeme. It's not particularly kinky, just an opportunity to write some flirty banter between two very attractive men.
Per usual, BioWare owns all the stuff I love, including Nathaniel Howe and Anders.
Breakfast was an apple apiece.
"My apple is so small and shriveled," Anders held it aloft on his palm to scrutinize it, his lower lip pushed out in consternation.
"You should take that up with the Commander," Nate's apple was large, perfectly firm, and he bit with relish, the snap of his teeth going through the fruit audible from across the camp. "She might be implying something."
"What? That she knows I don't need the size of my fruit to compensate for other...shortcomings?" Anders threw his untouched breakfast into his pack. "By the way, that is a glorious apple that you have there. Obviously Commander did see more than she let on the other day at the creek."
The mage walked towards me, his face bright with amusement. Nathaniel watched him go, no longer as delighted with his meal as he'd been only seconds earlier.
Cleaning up after battle was always a chore, even if we had only encountered a couple of bandits and a handful of wolves. Anders was worrying over my neck after an arrow managed to graze just below my ear. He feared there might have been poison on the head.
"I actually think it may have been one of my arrows, Anders," Nate sounded apologetic. "So no poison."
The mage narrowed his eyes and frowned.
"Oh, so she is still a target," he focused on me. "Maybe you should have turned Mr. Eager away after all, my lady. Even if he meant you no harm, you really can't trust a man who can't control his arrows. What, did your fingers slip on the shaft or something?"
"That's rich coming from someone who set the Commander's hair on fire the same night he met her," Nathaniel clearly did not like being reminded of his intentions towards me in the beginning.
"It's not just her hair that I set on fire," Anders' voice was impossibly intimate as he winked at me.
"Is this flirting a new healing technique, Anders? Something you picked up since you've been away from the Circle?" Nate came to stand beside us, arms crossed over his chest. "I thought you might have been practicing earlier when you told me I looked good with blood on my cheeks."
"You do look good with blood on your cheeks," he helped me into a standing position, finally assured that my injury was only superficial. "It distracts attention away from your whole 'I spend most of my time skulking in the shadows like a skulky thing' look. Nice to change it up every once in awhile."
"Next time I want to change my appearance, I'll just spend some time in the Circle tower. Although I don't think scrawny and bone white will ever be attractive."
"Oh, how you wound me with your words," his tone was melodramatic but there was a hint of concern in Anders' hazel eyes as he walked away from us. "And here I thought I'd gotten a bit of sun since I took my Joining."
"What is it with you and your jewelry, Anders?" Nathaniel and I were seated next to each other on a fallen tree by the side of the road, watching while Anders search desperately in his pack for the earring that had come loose earlier that afternoon. He'd put it aside until he could secure it again and now it was, apparently, gone. "Do you think anybody is impressed?"
"Sure," his hand emerged from his bag and a smile brightened his face. "Ah, success is mine. Women are drawn to shiny, expensive things."
"Hmph, so are magpies," Nathaniel looked at me and lowered his voice conspiratorially. "And did he say expensive? I think I have some old coppers in my pocket that could garner more attention than that tin scrap."
"Well, if we're going with things that we have in our pocket, then..." Anders looked thoughtful. "Commander, care to reach in this pocket here and see if you can't find something that might hold your interest?" He came over and put his mouth near my ear, his hot breath causing a few loose strands of hair to tickle against my neck. "And feel free to go as deeply as you want."
From my other side, Nathaniel leaned in close, "It's funny, Anders. I actually heard from one of the maids at the Keep that deep wasn't really your forte."
"Huh, that is funny. Of course, I can't really come back to that as I've heard absolutely nothing about you from anyone at all," Anders offered me a crooked grin. "Maybe we'll get lucky one of these days and run into his nan. She might be the one person who can tell us all about what we'd find if we went searching in his pockets."
"If either of you would like to know, you only need to ask politely," Nathaniel's tone was that of a perfect gentleman.
"Listen to that, Commander. Doesn't Nate know better than to give us that sort of opening? I bet he'd let out a right squawk if he caught either one of us heading that way."
Nate's pale eyes were on me and I was getting a sense that there would be absolutely no squawking or protestations at all.
We made it to Amaranthine just before nightfall and managed to book our rooms with little difficulty. I was ordering drinks when it started.
"Aw, look at that, Ser Pounce-a-lot," Anders' voice rang clear with disappointment. "I did rip my robes. And I liked these, too. Stupid hurlocks and their grabby talons."
"Worried that nobody will love you if your pretty dress is ruined?" Nathaniel's voice was teasing and low, and I turned just in time to catch a grin playing across his lips.
"Yes, well it's not all bad," Anders reached gratefully for the mug of ale I offered him and twitched his eyebrow suggestively. "A little tear like this can facilitate some fairly impressive disrobing."
"Impressive disrobing? You certainly sound like you know how to give someone a good time," Nate laughed into his ale. "You talk about sex so much, I only assumed you'd be good at it."
"Commander, which would you prefer?" the mage placed both elbows on the table and cradled his chin in his hand. "A man who can recognize the potential for fun in anything, or a man who sees foreplay as being a bad thing."
I threw my hands up in surrender.
"I'm going to let you boys figure this one out on your own," I returned to my beverage as Anders gave Nathaniel an appraising sideways glance.
"I never said foreplay was bad," Nate sounded a bit flustered. "I just think that things like disrobing should be...natural, and not showy."
Anders laughed loudly at this, his head thrown back, and Nate and I exchanged worried looks. Anders finding anything that amusing was usually not a good thing.
"I take it you favor the clothes on but sort of shoved out of the way approach to sex," the emphasis he put on that word sent a surge of warmth between my thighs. "Certainly, quick and rough has its appeal, if you're short on time or just need to get off. But I take my time with these things whenever I can. Man or woman, there's nothing like the sight of clothes falling off of bared shoulders, or sliding down naked hips and thighs and knowing that it's just the beginning of a very long and pleasant night."
His voiced had lowered to a purr and both Nate and I were watching him as if he'd hypnotized us, although I doubted that Nate was contending with my level of arousal.
"I never said that, either," Nate's eyes found my face and he seemed put out by the way I was staring at Anders, my lips parted as if he were a particularly appetizing side of lamb. "Commander, did I say anything of the sort?"
"Hmmmm?" Words weren't really coming to mind, so all I could do was go warm in the cheeks and take another long draw of my ale, not that that helped satiate the pangs of desire that Anders had called into being with his talking and his suggestive gaze.
"I think she's answered my question, indirectly," Anders popped a piece of bread in his mouth and chewed, his smirk almost bordering on obscene.
"I just prefer to do things a little differently, Anders," Nate leaned back in his chair. "The most important thing is my partner's comfort; I want to ensure that she's enjoying everything I'm doing. I take my time in undressing her, because there isn't anything more erotic than pulling away a dress or a shift and seeing aroused flesh beneath," his eyes were on the mage, whose expression was lascivious. "Once she is unclothed and I can see her for all she is, every curve and every plane, I am usually too overwhelmed by lust to worry about how my own clothing comes off and she's usually too busy being satisfied to care."
"That works, too," I ducked my head a bit.
"How about the dress? Does that do it for you?" Nathaniel was still watching Anders.
"It's easy access," Anders pulled the tie that held his shoulder-length hair back, and shook out his head. "And it keeps things fresh. No boiling in my own sweat all day like I would in armor."
"How easy access are you talking?" Nathaniel had heard this story before. "One buckle? Two buckles? Do you wear any hose under there or do you have holes cut in everything?"
"We can always take this to our rooms," Anders pushed aside his mug and leaned forward. "I can show the Commander all the ways my dress could make her life easier and you can watch us...if that's what you wanted."
"Why would I want to watch you?" Nathaniel's expression was somewhere between a scowl and a leer.
"I didn't want to be forward and just assume you would rather participate," Anders stood and I shot up automatically, much to the mage's amusement.
"There's only so much a woman can take," I wasn't even blushing anymore. "And besides, knowing how to work your robe might come in useful. In battle. In case you need to be made, uh, naked for any reason."
"No need for excuses, my lady," his eyes went to Nathaniel, who had pulled himself up and seemed to be drawn forward by the twin forces of curiosity and lust. As we entered my chamber, I knew which one of us was causing which reaction and I was more than happy to play my part.
That my part was being held between two attractive men and playing judge as they used their practiced hands and bicker-warmed tongues to ply techniques in an escalating game of I think I could do that better was one of the definite perks of being Commander of the Grey.