Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.
A/N: So, this is really random and short. It also disregards their canon ages.
The Master of Margaritas
Watari sat next to L at the bar, watching as the detective added packet after packet of his own sugar, which he'd brought with him, to his margarita.
It was far from his first drink of the night, but Watari hadn't been keeping count. Normally, he didn't mind the young man's quirks, but tonight they were getting on his nerves.
"Why didn't you just order a sweeter drink?" He asked L, gesturing to the pile of wrappers on the bar. L just shrugged and sipped sloppily at his drink, as intoxicated as Watari had ever seen him.
The old man smirked behind his mustache when he saw that L was unable to maintain his bizarre way of sitting after this many drinks. It had been difficult enough to balance that way on a bar stool while still sober.
But aside from that, it wasn't particularly obvious that L was drunk yet. Watari wondered just how much longer he would have to sit there and wait for him to finish.
Too long, he thought. There were so many better things he could be doing right then than chaperoning this boy. Was chaperoning the right word? For some reason, he was buying drinks for a minor.
How had L talked him into this? The boy had said something about having an adult's level of stress and needing an adult's remedy for it.
How silly. What had Watari been thinking? He could be playing Bingo, or watching his soaps on television, or eating at a buffet, but instead here he was. Waiting for a boy to finish drinking so he could drive him home.
Well, no longer! He decided right then that he would no longer indulge L, he would instead go home and watch his soaps.
If L was really the great genius he was supposed to be, he would somehow find his own way home when he was done. Watari got up and left the bar without L noticing.
When he was just outside the door, he noticed two very recognizable faces. Mello and Matt, ranked two and three in line to become L, were standing nearby. What were they doing in a place like this?
Well, it just didn't matter. Watari was through taking care of these brats, that was Roger's job. He went up to them, and they looked ready to bolt upon realizing who he was.
"Hey, you two need to go find L in that bar and make sure he gets home safely. Okay?" He said, and they both nodded, wide-eyed. He watched them scurry off before climbing into his car and driving home.
.
.
"Oh my God, it's really him!" Mello said to Matt when they spotted the drunken detective at the bar. They were rather alarmed to see their idol in such a situation.
But he was still their idol, and Mello was honored to be given the task of taking care of him. Near would never be trusted with it.
"How are we going to get him home?" Matt asked. Mello shrugged and walked over to his hero. He pulled himself up onto the bar stool next to L and stared at the number of empty glasses in front of him. Then he looked at L's face. He didn't look that drunk.
"Hi, L!" He said, and the detective didn't seem to notice him at first, but then slowly turned his head to face him. He stared at him, unblinking and expressionless, for about twenty seconds.
"You are not Watari." L stated.
"That's true…" Mello said slowly, frowning. Perhaps L was a bit drunker than he'd thought. Matt came up behind him and tugged on his shirt.
"Come on, let's go." He said. Mello nodded.
"L, I think you've had enough for one night, why don't we head back home?" He said in his most coaxing tones.
"But I am not finished." L protested.
"Yes you are." Mello said firmly.
"I am?" L suddenly looked uncertain. His eyebrows pinched together in confusion. Mello found it somehow endearing.
"Yeah." Matt said, nodding.
"Oh. Okay then." L agreed, standing up a bit clumsily. He threw a random assortment of coins and bills onto the counter, where they scattered and most of them fell on the floor.
Matt and Mello looked at each other and made faces to communicate their feelings of weirdness. Then they each took one of L's hands and led him out of the bar and into the rather cold night air. When they were outside, Matt checked his watch.
"Shit, we've missed the last bus!" He exclaimed.
"Oh no, we have to walk back?" Mello whined. He was already cold, and he pulled L's arm around his shoulders for warmth. Or so he would claim if anyone asked.
"I do not mind walking." L said, and he started to do so as if to prove it, bringing Mello with him. Matt followed them and began kicking a little rock along the road with his hands in his pockets.
"Of course you don't, you're too drunk to feel the cold." Matt said bitterly. L turned to stare at him while he walked. Matt stared back, and their staring contest lasted about a minute before L said anything.
"You are not Watari." He finally stated. Matt rolled his eyes.
"Nope, I'm not." Matt confirmed. Then the detective suddenly stopped walking and his eyes widened.
"Where is Watari?" L asked, suddenly looking terrified. He pulled his arm away from Mello and began frantically looking around.
"He's not here, he went home." Mello said, grabbing L's hand.
"He went home? He doesn't go home! He stays with me! Where is he?" L responded, far more emotional than anyone had ever seen him.
"You'll see him later! Just come with us!" Mello said, hugging L's arm and attempting to pull him along. L resisted childishly, and Matt had to take his other arm to help tug him toward the path to the orphanage.
"Nooooo!" L moaned as they dragged him along with only his toes skimming the sidewalk. He had lifted his feet up so that they had to carry him, which made it a lot harder.
"Come…on…L!" Mello grunted as he pulled. It was a very strenuous activity, but he would not be defeated. He was number one, and L would know it when he woke up the next morning, safe in his own bed, all thanks to Mello. Near would never have been able to get L this far, the little weakling.
"Let me go!" L cried.
"We have to go home." Mello continued to try and console him.
"B-but where's Watari?"
"He's at home. We're going there now, if you cooperate." Matt said. L sighed loudly, then fell silent and let himself be pulled along for a while. They walked in silence through a grassy field that lay between Wammy House and the city. Then suddenly L spoke up.
"Mello?" He said.
"What?"
"You are much prettier than Near." L said. Matt snorted and Mello choked on air.
"I am not pretty, I'm a boy." He muttered while Matt giggled. But it was too dark for Matt to see him, so he didn't bother to stop the smirk of triumph that settled on his face.
The End.
A/N: Review please. Thank you.