Saving Grace

by Souless Isabella Marie

22 year old Bella Swan has been through the unimaginable. She's currently trying to keep her head above water as she is learning to be a single mother to her 2 young children after her high school sweetheart and father of her children commits suicide. She finally starts to accept being alone for the rest of her life until she exchanges a look with a handsome stranger ***AH***

Bella POV* 1 year 9 months 28 days. 'Time heals all wounds' Yeah, right. 'It gets better' Mhm, haven't heard that one yet, thanks buddy!

Okay Bella, relax. No need to fill the morning with this mass amount of angst. Positivity. Smile. You're better than this. Gee, these pep talks are getting old. First day on the new job, maybe if I didn't have to get up at 4 am to make my self presentable I wouldn't be so grouchy. Grouchy, haha. What an understatement. I've really lost the sense of who I actually am since Jake died. He's gone. 1 year. 9 months. 28 days. I tourture myself with thoughts of him. If I didn't suffer I think emotions would become extinct to me. Jesus, Bella you really have to stop with the angst this early in the morning.

I hear footsteps, strange. Who else in the house would be up this early?

"Good morning hon, I thought I would touch base with you before you left for work?" Reneé greets

"Oh, yeah I guess that makes sense" I say emotionless as always

"Just wanted to reassure you that the children will be fine with me today. I know you worry. Since Jake has passed on I know you hate being so far"

"Sure, sure" I feel my heart ache as I mutter my deceased lover's favorite phrase

I feel my mom's gaze. I know she caught a glimpse of my face falling before I could stop the emotions from crossing my face. Thankfully, she's learned since the children and I moved in with her and Phil last year that I won't break in front of anyone. I choose to do it behind close doors. Reserve it for my pathedic self. Life is complicated and God knows I don't have the right to mourn such a horrid man. The things he did. The way he treated us. But yet, I cry. I break. I fall apart. It's discusting.

"Well, anyways, I'm going to head back to bed. Good luck on your first day, I know you'll do just fine and hopefully you'll find some security in the job and yourself so you can become a part of this family again Bella. You know I worry."

"Good night mom"

Become a part of this family again? Why? I deserve no such thing. I rather stick to my role of providing for the kids and staying out of the way. Being unnoticed and keeping to myself.

I continued to get ready, as soon as I find myself as good as I'm going to get I head out the door. Little did I know today was the beginning of something new. And Lord knows I'm in dire need of fresh air.