Together
Rating: T
Summary: After living in a flat in London for four years, and in her own Georgetown apartment for nine years before that, it felt so amazing to live in an actual house, but perhaps it was even more amazing because of the people she shared her home with -her husband, Admiral Harmon Rabb, Jr. and their bubbly, adventurous, intelligent and adorable daughter, Caroline.
A/N: This is a prequel to my story "Tell Me The Story." In that story, I alluded to the harder times Harm and Mac experienced in their marriage which involved a tragic end of Mac's second pregnancy. I felt the need to elaborate on it and that it deserved its own story.
The usual disclaimers apply, they aren't mine and never will be. I just own the typos and such.
Rabb Residence
Alexandria, VA
September 10, 2009
Sarah MacKenzie Rabb smiled as she sat on the front porch with her feet up while she drank hot tea from her mug. She sighed contently taking in the view around her. She was surprised how much she enjoyed the scenery and living in the suburbs.
Their street looked like a scene from a movie – tall oak trees lines the road, every house had beautiful flowers and perfectly manicured lawns, and every large brick house on the street held so much character. It also helped that the neighbors were friendly and Bud and Harriet lived a few streets away.
Ah, yes, it was good to be back in the States - more specifically Washington, DC. After living in a flat in London for four years, and in her own Georgetown apartment for nine years before that, it felt so amazing to live in an actual house, but perhaps it was even more amazing because of the people she shared her home with.
Those people were her husband, Admiral Harmon Rabb, Jr., who was currently assigned to the Pentagon as the legal counsel to the Joint Chiefs of Staff -and on the fast track to be the JAG when General Cresswell retired in the not so distant future- and their bubbly, adventurous, intelligent and adorable daughter, Caroline, who would be turning three in a few weeks.
Mac was completely satisfied with the way her life turned out that fateful night she wound up at Harm's apartment after they received new orders. Honestly, she couldn't even say what made her go to him, but she thanked God every single day that she did.
She blushed as she remembered the intensity of the kiss they shared. How it wasn't the first kiss they shared, but it felt so new and exciting because of the barrier they broke, the walls that were knocked down, and the incredible new level of intimacy that was formed which they only dared to fantasize about before had finally been reached.
She recalled how thrilled Bud and Harriet were when they called to share the news, and asked for Bud to bring the JAG coin to McMurphy's. Harriet was completely and truly over the moon that they had finally figured out what others had seen in the relationship years ago.
"You're two independent people," she said. "You had to come to this realization in your own time."
Maybe she was right, but they still needed the wake-up call of almost being sent to different continents to push them into confronting the dance they had been dancing for the better part of their partnership. And even that fateful coin toss was enough to push her to take action and not leave everything up to fate after all.
As soon as the coin was tossed into the air, Mac knew what she wanted the outcome to be. Without giving it another thought, she reached up and snatched the coin before it could land. This decision was too important to be left to fate, and she was going to do something about it.
Their friends were stunned, their immediate circle was absolutely silent. It was as if no one knew what to say or how to process what just happened.
Harm was feeling a lot of emotions in the moment as he tried to figure what her actions meant. Did she have second thoughts about marrying him? Did she decide she didn't want to risk losing her career and wanted to make a long-distance marriage out of the situation?
It felt like an eternity of silence, but Mac later had informed Harm that it was only one minute and twenty-six seconds before she finally said, "What? I've always wanted to go to London," with a smile.
Their friends' expressions went from shock and confusion to joy and happiness.
"I hear it's lovely there," Harriet offered.
"The Marines will miss you," Cresswell began, "But if you must leave us for the Navy, I'm glad you picked this squid," he slapped Harm on the shoulder. "Congratulations you two. I wish you as much happiness as Dora and I have had."
"So, I see you two disobeyed my orders," came a booming voice from across the room.
"Admiral!" Mac exclaimed.
"I seem to recall telling you two not to get too familiar with each other because you had to work together." He said as stepped closer to the circle of friends. "I don't think I've ever been this happy that two people did not listen to me." He gave Mac a hug and the shook Harm's hand.
"How did you know we were here, sir?" Harm finally managed to ask.
"I happened to be in town visiting my namesake when you called Bud and Harriet, so Harriet invited me along. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all!" Mac answered. "It wouldn't be the same without you."
They spent the evening with their friends for the rest of the night, and didn't leave the bar until it closed. They said their farewells to all the people who became their family over the years, and Harriet came up with a plan to help get a small wedding ceremony in place the following week in Washington. For a brief moment, Mac had to wonder it was all a dream.
"Your place or mine?" Harm whispered as he placed his hand on the small of her back when they made their way to the parking lot.
The contact made Mac smile and her senses tingle. It was definitely not a dream. "You don't have a bed anymore..." She whispered.
"Then, it's settled - your place it is..."
His place was closer, but they both knew what was about to happen and there was no way it was going to happen on the floor of his loft. They hailed a cab and sat close to each other in the back seat. Never one for public displays of affection before, Mac was amazed at how easily it was to rest her head on Harm's shoulder.
"There's something we need to discuss," he said softly, his voice breaking the spell over them.
"Hmm?" She questioned, only half paying attention because she was distracted by drawing lazy patterns over his thigh. "I like your dress whites more," she murmured. "Just in case you were wondering."
"Mac," he said a little more forcefully. "It's important," he placed his hand over hers. "I need to know why you did it. Why you grabbed the coin," he clarified. She sacrificed her career, and a part of him was thankful, but another part felt guilty that she caught the coin before it landed and he didn't. He loved his career, but he loved Mac more. He would give up his career time and time again if it would make her happy.
"Why wouldn't, I?" Like a true lawyer she answered his question with a question. He raised an eyebrow and she knew he wouldn't leave it at that. "You gave up everything for me once before, Harm. Everything. Let me do this for you, please," she practically begged him. "The Navy is everything you wanted since you were six years old. You have so much invested in it…flying and the law. It's who you are."
"You love the Marines," he felt the need to state the obvious to her.
"Yes, but it was a means to end and end for me. They dried me out and put my life back on track. I can be a lawyer anywhere, Harm, I don't have to be a JAG. I can even teach law or something like that. I love you more than the Marines."
"I love you more than the Navy."
"I know," she assured him. "You proved that before." She reached out to caresses his face. "I pushed you away because I needed to hear the words, but you are a man of action. I should have known then that your actions proved what you couldn't find the words to say."
He held her hand to his face and gave it a sideways kiss. "You deserved the words."
She felt herself relaxing against the magic of his touch. "I'm not sure if I ever told you before, but when Harriet resigned when she was pregnant with the twins I went to visit her. I wanted to see if she regretted her choice, and she didn't - not one bit. She said it felt like a collaboration with God…being pregnant. I want to try to experience that. I want a family with you. I know we didn't get into specifics, but if we end up going the IVF route, being on active duty will complicate that. Trust me, Harm, this is the right thing to do."
"I trust you more than anyone else...I trust you with my life."
"Right back at you, squid," she smiled.
The cab pulled up in front of Mac's building and Harm paid the driver before extending his hand to help Mac exit the cab.
"I'll miss this place. It's the first place that ever felt like home," she offered, suddenly not liking the silence that filled the space between them. Nine years boiled down to this moment and it terrified her and excited her all the same. Every fantasy she ever had about making love together flashed through her mind – slow and passionate, hot and heavy.
Harm's lips claimed hers as they entered her apartment. The door was pushed shut with a thud and Harm and Mac practically tripped over each other as they tried to kick their shoes off without breaking contact. It would be so difficult, she knew, to make love tonight and then board separate planes in the morning…she hated that she had to report to San Diego until a replacement could be found and that it would be an entire week until they were reunited for their wedding ceremony.
"You're preoccupied about something," he stated. He was able to read her like a book. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to." He wanted her in every possible way, but if she wasn't ready for that change in their relationship yet, they would wait. He would always be there. They waited nine years, what was a few more days of fantasizing in the scheme of things? He realized how fast they were moving. They went from being barely sociable last year, to finding solid friendship again after her accident. Then tonight they basically went from friends to an eternity together in under ten minutes. It was overwhelming.
"It's going to be so hard-" she began.
"Well, I would certainly hope so!" He interjected. He couldn't resist. She made it so easy for him to tease her.
"Men!" She laughed while she playfully swatted him on the shoulder. "You're all the same."
He nibbled the soft skin of her neck, just below her jaw, and wondered how he lived without it for nine years. "You won't be saying that later."
"Your ego is as big as a tomcat."
It was his turn to laugh before he became serious again. "I meant it, Mac. If you want to stop, just say the words. No questions asked, no explanation necessary."
"Always an officer and a gentleman, I see."
"I'm serious."
Her lips curved into a smile. "I know, and believe me I don't want to stop. Not one bit." That was enough to hear for Harm to resumed his kisses across her neck and collarbone. "What I did mean was- it will be so difficult to spend the night with you tonight, and then have to go our separate ways for a week." She pulled him as close to her as she possibly could.
"I have a suggestion…something that might help in a way."
"You do?" She raised an eyebrow.
"I know it's inevitable, reporting for duty, but it's only temporary. So, why don't you stay with my Mom and Frank while you are there? La Jolla is only a half hour away from San Diego. My mom suggested it when I called her earlier to tell her the news." He knew he was rambling, but kissing Sarah MacKenzie was intoxicating, and it was hard to stay focused.
"I've never met Frank! And I only met your mom once!"
"My mom would be over the moon. She always knew you were something special to me. It would be a great way to get to know them, and I'm sure my mom has litany of things to tell you about my childhood."
Mac's hands moved from his neck to shoulders to his arms. "I'll consider it," she smiled. "I'd love to hear about all the trouble you caused as a kid," she teased.
He smiled against the crook of her neck. "My mom could probably write a book about it."
"Okay," Mac agreed. "I'll call her tomorrow." She began to tug him towards the bedroom. "Come on, sailor," she practically sang as she tugged at his bow tie to loosen it.
"There's something I need to do first..."
Mac was utterly confused. "What on Earth are you talking about?"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a red velvet box, "You need a ring," he stated simply as he opened the box.
"It's beautiful," she gushed as she saw it. "How on Earth did you manage to come up with a ring so quickly?"
"I had it for a while." He blushed.
Mac knit her brows together. "What do you mean?"
Sensing her confusion, Harm knew he had to make it clear that he didn't buy it for another woman. "Um, it, uh, was actually Grandma Sarah's first. Then, my dad gave it to my mom, and I knew it had to belong to you," he took it out of the box and held it up to her. "I asked my mom to bring it the last time she came to visit. I, um, actually, uh, I brought it with me to Paraguay. I was going to, well..."
Mac was speechless. Harm was really going to state his intentions and she put the brakes on them before he even had a chance. Stupid, stupid, stupid, she thought.
"In hindsight," he continued, "it was pretty stupid to bring an heirloom like this on a mission like that, but I told myself if I found you alive, I was going to make my feelings known, but well, you know...our reunion wasn't rainbows and butterflies...and Webb was all cozy with you...and I never figured out how to say what I wanted, and I reverted into being an arrogant ass and insensitive jerk. " He slid the ring on her finger and it was a perfect fit - a white gold band with a European cut diamond. Mac was pretty sure she had never seen a more beautiful ring ever before. "I thought if we tabled the conversation..."
Mac lunged herself into his arms with a force that almost knocked them to the ground. In fact, had it not been for Harm's aviator reflexes they probably would have been on the ground. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was the insensitive jerk. Not you," she crossed her ankles around his waist and her arms around his neck. She held on as if her life depended on it and he was her lifeline now. Her tears felt hot as they spilled against his skin. "Please forgive me. I love you. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Harm managed to carry her the rest of the way to the bedroom and gently placed her in the middle of the bed. He brushed her hair away from her eyes, and used his thumbs to wipe away some of the tears. "Ssh, ssh. Listen to me, Mac. That's the past. It's done, it's over. We're together now. That is what is important.
She nodded slowly. "I shouldn't have treated you better. You deserved better."
"Enough talking, Mac." He assaulted her body with sweet, sensual kisses. "You are thinking too much. Relax."
She brought his face back up to hers. "And just to be crystal clear with you, I want to do this with you more than I have ever wanted to do anything in my entire life."
"I do love you, Sarah, more than you could imagine."
The sound of her given name coming from Harm's lips ignited the fire within her even more. When Mic, Dalton, and Webb called her Sarah, it was possessive. Yet, when Harm called her Sarah, it was reserved for the most intimate of times. It was special and not possessive in the least. "Show me," she whispered seductively against his lips. "More actions, less words. You are man of action after all, aren't you?" She challenged.
His only semi-verbal response was a throaty chuckle.
In the wee hours of the morning, it became evident that neither one of them would be getting much sleep. Coming down from the most amazing high she ever felt, Mac sighed contently as Harm rolled them over and kept her securely in his arms. "Amazing," she murmured.
Harm placed a gentle kiss in her hair and held her as close as he possibly could. Being with Mac was different than being with any other woman. Tonight was the night he realized what it was like to actually "make love."
"Harm?"
"Yeah?"
"I take back my former statement - all men aren't the same. You stand out above anyone else." She placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. For the first time, in this aspect of her life, she finally felt like her own needs, wants, desires, and wishes were as important as those of the man she was with. They were equals.
The trip down memory lane caused her skin to flush and even though it was a cool autumn night, she had to fan herself with her hand in an attempt to cool down. The sound of footsteps on the stairs to the porch caught Mac off guard and briefly startled her before she realized it was Harm. "Harm!"
"Hi," he grinned. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"You didn't," she tried to play it off as she brought her mug to her lips and took a long sip of tea.
"Oh, I think I did. What has you so hot and bothered?" He raised an eyebrow.
"How'd you know?" She stammered – not even bothering to deny it.
He really could read her like a book apparently.
"You're blushing," he stated simply. "You don't blush very easily, unless of course you are thinking about something that is pretty... intense." He winked.
Out of fear of dropping the mug from her hands, she set it on the table. "Maybe I was."
"And you aren't going to share with the class?" He loosened his tie as he sat down on the chair adjacent to hers.
"Maybe we can have a show and tell later," she smiled seductively. "How was your day?"
"Political," he answered with a sigh. "These are the days where I really miss investigating, prosecuting and defending."
"I'm sorry."
He shrugged and removed his tie the rest of the way before unbuttoning his collar. "How was Caroline? I tried to get home before bedtime."
"She missed you. She's quite the little negotiator, too, you know. She negotiated two bedtime stories from me tonight, and three from Daddy tomorrow. Hell, if she asked for a puppy I would have caved on the spot - that's how convincing she was."
Harm chuckled. "She doesn't have your looks or my looks, but she certainly has our brains."
Mac grinned. "Who would have possibly imagined how the baby deal would actually turn out all those years ago?"
"Either way, it was bound to be a perfect combination..."
She laced her fingers through his. "Maybe we will have another one someday…." She trailed off.
"Maybe," he agreed softy.
They decide to let nature run its course. They haven't actively been trying to have another baby, but they haven't actively been trying not to have another baby either. A heavy silence filled the air before Mac stood up from the chair. "Are you hungry? I fixed you a plate, it just needs to be warmed up."
"Yeah, that sounds great. I'll go look in on Caroline and then meet you in the kitchen." He reached for her hand and then waved for her to enter the house before him with his free hand.
"Um, Harm?" She asked as she turned around to face him.
"Yeah, Mac?"
"Did you forget to do something when you came home … like give your wife a kiss?"
"Was my wife here when I came home?" He teased, his arms crossed at his chest and his eyes sparkling with amusement. "She seemed to be a million miles away."
"She was thinking about you," she whispered before he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.
This was one of her favorite parts of the day.