Disclaimer: not mine
AN: This is a part of the Ella Rabb family series and follows 'In Flanders Fields'. They were both written for the US Memorial Day and while I posted 'In Flanders Fields' I forgot to post this one...ooops!
High Flight
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air. . . .
Up, up the long, delirious burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or ever eagle flew —
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
— John Gillespie Magee, Jr
After the nature of their trip to DC, Harm and Ella had a much closer bond. While Mac wasn't really jealous of it, she did get a little tired of Ella's constant 'dad this' and 'dad that'. It seemed Harm could do no wrong in the eyes of his girl and Mac did find it a little much to be living with such a saint of a man. She, above everyone, knew the man had his flaws.
"So, dad said that maybe next weekend, or the one after that, he and I can take Sarah up," she said excitedly one afternoon as she sat at the breakfast bar watching Mac prepare dinner.
"Did he?" Mac replied, her focus still on the carrot she was chopping.
"Yeah, he did," Ella continued. "Dad said that you told him years ago that he had to wait until I was 12 to go flying and I'm 12 now so I can go."
"Dad said a lot, didn't he?" Mac said, putting down the paring knife.
"Yeah," she replied, nodding. "He also said I wasn't to make a big deal out of it in front of the kids because they were too young to go and too young to understand why they have to wait."
"That's true," she replied, glad Harm had at least thought of the feelings of the younger children.
"He said you could come too because he thought you'd want to supervise but I don't know how that'd work because you can't supervise from the ground and it only fits two ..." she rambled trying to work through the logistics.
"El, take a breath," Mac said shaking her head.
"Sorry, mom, I'm just so excited," she said with a big smile.
"So I can see," she said smiling back. "How about you go do your homework and we'll talk to dad about it after the little ones are in bed?"
"Oh, cool," she said, jumping down from the stool and making her way around the bench to hug her mother. "Thank you, mommy!" she said squeezing her tightly. Mac shook her head; it had been awhile since Ella had called her mommy.
All evening Ella was on her best behaviour, she set and cleared the table and started the dishes while her parents bathed David and Ruby and readied them for bed.
"Ella's been a great help tonight," Harm commented quietly as they stood in the hallway, the youngest children drifting off to sleep,
"That's your doing," Mac replied, walking towards the kitchen but Harm tugged her back to him.
"How?" he questioned.
"Well, apparently daddy said she was old enough to go flying in Sarah and daddy said they could go this weekend or next and daddy said I could go too and daddy said..." she rambled until Harm put his finger to her lips.
"Sorry," he said with a guilty smile. "We were talking about grandad's , dad's and my experiences as pilots and why we did it and how it felt and she asked about going up with me and I'd answered before I'd realised."
Mac just shook her head and sighed.
"She's so excited," Harm said. "She told me this morning she has something special to take up with us...sorry, I didn't talk to you first. If you want me to put it off for a while I can..."
"No, you can't," she replied, "Otherwise I'll be the bad guy."
"No, I'll make sure she knows it's me," Harm answered, putting his arms around her.
"According to Ella, you're Saint Daddy at the moment," she said allowing him to pull her closer. "You can do nothing wrong in her eyes..."
"And in yours?" he questioned. All these years on and Mac's opinion was still the most important to him.
"I love you very much," she said, kissing him briefly before heading off to the kitchen.
"Mac, that didn't answer my question," he whispered as they stood near the kitchen door.
"I don't think you are perfect or without fault," she said, hating the hurt look which crossed his face. "But then, neither am I. I love you for who you are...Ella might be happy to have a saint for a father but I don't think I'd like a saint as a husband...there are too many naughty things I enjoy doing with you." This time she kissed him deeply and his hurt look was quickly replaced by a blush.
A month later, the day Ella was desperate for arrived. With school out for summer the Friday before, she felt her life couldn't get much better than going up in her father's Stearman for the first time. Sunday morning dawned clear and warm and Ella was out of bed first. Showered and dressed for the adventures of the day before anyone else had awoken.
When Mac awoke to noises around the house, she climbed out of bed and went to investigate.
"El," she said, finding her daughter in the kitchen. "What are you doing?"
"Making breakfast for me and you and dad," she said, pointing to the plates on the bench.
"At six in the morning...on a Sunday morning," Mac said with a yawn.
"Well, I wanted to do something special for you both and without Davy and Rubes 'helping', so I figured I'd get an early start," she explained as she stirred the scrambled eggs. "Is it too early?"
"No, honey, it's fine," Mac said. "I'll just go wake dad and come back to help you."
"Okay," she said, turning her attention to the toast.
Breakfast was a delicious success and Mac had her flyers out the door just before 8:00 am, minutes before the other two woke. While they were upset Ella and Harm had gone out for the day without them, Mac soon overcame that telling them about their plans for a trip to the San Diego Zoo with grandma and grandpa, and how, if they were very good, they could choose anything they liked for dinner.
With the excitement level of the children at an all time high, Mac smiled. She had picked the perfect day out to distract her from the fact her precious daughter was going to be god knows how many feet in the air, secured only by a harness and not a parachute in sight.
Between the house and the airfield, Ella asked Harm question after question after question after question. How fast would they be going? What altitude would they reach? When was the Stearman built? What was it made out of? When was it last serviced? How far could you fly it without refuelling? When did he first take Mac up? Did she like it? Why not?
Once they entered the hangar, the questions started again. What is that? And that? What does that do? Can I touch it? Why not? Is that a new piece? Why is it yellow? Are all Stearman's yellow? Look at that one! Could you fly something like that? Is a Stearman safer than that? Oh!
"Ella. Ella, Ella," Harm said shaking his head as he tried to do the pre-flight check. "Can you be quiet for just a few minutes while I do the safety checks?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry, dad," she said closing her mouth and pretending to lock it.
Her silence last five minutes but Harm was grateful for the time he got.
"Okay, baby," he said, taking her hand. "You're going to climb up and get into that seat and I'll strap you in. Are you sure you don't need the bathroom?"
"I'm sure, dad," she said, climbing up the step ladder.
"Because there's no stopping once we're up and we might do a few tricks," he said, studying her face.
"Oh, okay," she replied, stepping down. "I think I will go."
Once she was gone, Harm fitted a small video camera to the front of her area. He wanted to capture her joy at her first flight with him. Once they were up, he'd let her rotate the camera and take pictures of the view, but for now, the camera would remain a secret.
"All set, dad," she said, waiting for him to climb down so she could climb up. "Ooooh," she said hugging him tightly. "I'm so excited, thank you so much for this."
"You're welcome, honey," he said, kissing her head. "You ready."
Later that night, when all the children were in bed sleeping soundly and Ella was dreaming of all things flight, Harm took Mac in her arms and led her into the living room.
"Care to watch a video with me?" he asked, showing her to the sofa.
"We only have DVD's," she said with a yawn, the zoo being a big day for her too.
"Oh, I have a video we shot today," he said, grabbing the remote sitting next to his wife. "Thought you might like to see it, now that you know it all ended well."
"Do I get popcorn?" she asked with a smile.
Getting to his feet once more, Harm threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave, grabbed the container which housed Mac's secret supply of chocolate and a couple of sodas from the fridge. He deposited those on the coffee table before moving the box of tissues there as well.
"Tissues?" she questioned. "It doesn't have a sad ending...you're back safe and sound."
"I know," he said, but he also knew there was one particular event which would see them both reaching for the tissues.
When the microwave pinged, he deposited the popcorn into a bowl, dimmed the lights and sat down beside her once more.
"Ready?" he asked and she nodded before picking up the bowl of popcorn, tucking her legs up under her and snuggling into Harm.
"All set, dad." Ella's voice filled the room. "Ooooh, "I'm so excited, thank you so much for this."
Mac watched as her daughter climbed into her seat and Harm's arms filled the shot as he secured her tightly.
"Okay?" Harm asked and Ella nodded, her face bright, her smile large.
"Let's do it!" she said as Harm climbed into his seat.
The next part was a little slow as the plane taxied out and was readied for take-off. Ella's face remained the central focus of the camera and Mac smiled at her daughter's look of pure bliss.
The camera shook a little as the plane picked up speed and became airborne and Ella's face flickered with joy, apprehension, concern and finally joy once more as the plane evened out.
"So cool, dad! So cool," she shouted, still holding on tightly.
"You okay back there?"came Harm's voice.
"I'm wonderful!" she yelled. "Oh, this is amazing; I don't know why mom doesn't like it."
Mac nudged Harm. "Who told her I didn't like it?" she questioned.
"Oh, I may have said something," he replied with a guilty smile. "Ooops."
Ella's utter delight at the experience filled the screen, her voice filling the room, happily commentating on everything she saw...whether or not Harm was interested.
"Wow, dad!" she exclaimed. "Those cars are so small...are they cars? I didn't know so many people had swimming pools. Can you see our place from here? What about grandma and grandpa's? I could stay up here forever...it's so cool! The sky is so blue...oh wow! Look at the clouds...I love this, dad...it's amazing."
Knowing what happened next, Harm pulled Mac a little closer and kissed her head.
Mac looked up at him and smiled before noting the tears already in his eyes. Turning back to the screen she watched as her daughter raised her fists and looked to the heavens before closing her eyes, smiling and opening her hands, releasing fragments of paper.
"Did you just throw something out of the plane?" Harm asked, his peripheral vision capturing something unusual.
"Sort of," she replied, the smile on her face peaceful and angelic. "Just small bits of paper."
"Ella!" he said loudly. "We talked about that!"
"I know," she said. "But remember how when we were talking about flying when we came back from DC and you said that you and grandad and great grandad all loved flying because you got to leave the earth and fly among the clouds, feel the rays of the sun and when you put your hand out it was like touching the face of God?"
"I remember," he said, it was his father who had explained his love of flying by paraphrasing John Gillespie Magee, Jr's deeply touching poem 'High Flight'.
"Well, that's what I was doing," she said, "I was reaching out to touch the face of God."
"What about the paper?" he asked, not at all impressed.
"They were for Callum," she replied. "You and mom always said he was with God in heaven so I figured I'd say hello while I was so close. Each bit of paper said 'Hi Callum, we love you, mom, dad, Ella, David and Ruby'. I was going to do just one piece but I wanted to be sure he knew that although we never got to know him he is always in our hearts...that we will always love him."
Harm had no words.
"Oh my god," Mac cried as her tears trickled down her face. "I knew we thought about him and talked about him but I didn't realise Ella did."
Harm's arms wrapped tightly around her as he kissed her head then her cheek.
"She's a pretty amazing kid, isn't she?" Harm asked, his own tears disappearing into his wife's hair.
"Aha," Mac said, wiping at her face as Harm reached forward for a Kleenex before drying her face for her. When he was done, Mac took the tissue and dabbed at his face. "He'd be nearly nine, you know?"
"I know," Harm replied, pulling her onto his lap and holding her tightly.
"Oh, Harm," she whispered, leaning her head on his shoulder. While the pain was not as raw as it had been in the days after their loss, nor as bad as during their difficulties and separation, it was still there. Their eldest son was still as much a part of their lives as he ever was. Mac still awoke from dreams of him in tears. Harm still thought about what he would have looked like. Mac still considered herself a mother of four, although she only told people it was three, it was easier. Harm still had the newborn flight outfit he'd bought when they found out it was a boy. He had hidden it so he could surprise Mac when the child was born, alas it wasn't to be and he couldn't bring himself to get rid of it.
Silence fell as they continued to watch Ella on the screen. Her bright smile never faded. Her joy was endless. As the video ended, Mac rolled her head around to look at her tearful husband.
"Do you think you can take me up soon?" she asked quietly, her hand gently caressing his face.
"Sure," he replied, kissing her nose. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah," she said, "I want to follow Ella's lead."
While she couldn't verbalise it, she wanted to do exactly the same as her daughter; reach out and touch the face of God, and if possible, caress her precious son.