Standard Disclaimer: All characters, references, planets, species, etc are the property of Disney and they retain all rights.
A/N: Just a brief one-shot I have been thinking about for a while and had to finally put into words. Not at all connected with my other story, which YES I am still working on, so don't worry if you're waiting for that. This is just a little something in the mean time. As always, kind words, reviews, corrections, tips or writing advice is always appreciated! Enjoy
Despite her eyes being firmly closed, sleep would not come to Sabine Wren. She lay restless in her customary bunk within the Ghost, only dim light from her datapad giving any illumination to the darkened chamber.
It had been 5 days since a lucky shot from a woefully incompetent Stormtrooper had felled the Mandalorian warrior. Dangling off the edge of the Ghost's ramp, her jetpack once again rendered useless in a shower of sparks and smoke, only the strong grip of Ezra Bridger keeping her from plunging to her death. Until even that wasn't enough. Her arms aching, fingers clenching, she had desperately struggled to keep her grip on the hand that had saved her.
"Sabine! Just hold on!" she heard the voice scream over the cacophony of blaster fire and star drives.
She felt his own hand trembling as Ezra clung to her, sweat and smoke making her eyes water as her muscles began to give way. But she hadn't given up yet. And neither had he. She was going to make it.
That's when the single blaster bolt, certainly an errant shot from a poorly trained conscript, had struck her vambrace. Superheated plasma sizzled as it melted through the tough metal, thankfully not powerful enough to sever the hand. But it was enough to cause her fingers to reflexively open.
And so she fell. The blue glow of the Ghost's engines fading as quickly as her chance at life. Now hundreds of meters in the air, the Ghost tore away at near supersonic speeds while the limp form of a teenage girl, bright painted armor dulled by burns, plummeted to the surface below.
They say that your life flashes before your eyes moments before death. They never tell you that it's not your whole life, only the important parts. The parts that stand out in your mind, memories that have become part of who you are, that have shaped who you were to become.
For Sabine Wren, many of these were regrets. Her falling out with Ketsu. The moment she found out what her weapons were truly going to be used for. The day she thought she was never going to speak to her family again. Endless nights of loneliness and misery, forced to rely on herself as every friend and family member she had ever known had left her.
She was nearing the ground now, she could feel it somehow, despite being barely conscious. Not even the pain from her blaster wound registering in her mind. It was over. A life cut short. Her family, so recently reconciled, would never see her again. She would never grow old, become the leader so many expected her to be, or find love…
Ezra. The last person who would see her alive. She would never tell him about how her feelings had been changing. About how his jokes, which had once earned him nothing more than an annoyed groan had started to make her smile despite herself. She would never see his piercing blue eyes or that stupid smug grin of his. Never feel his hand on her shoulder or hear his encouraging voice telling her he trusted her. The pranks they played, the laughs they shared, the battles they fought. It was all over. She could almost imagine his unique and somehow charming scent as she took her last breaths.
But it wasn't her imagination. Strong arms encircled her near lifeless body as she fell. Wind whistling past her face, she barely heard that voice once again.
"I've got you Sabine. I've got you"
Her descent slowed. Her senses began to come back to her. And those eyes. Deep blue, full of tears and concern, staring into hers as she clung to him. She felt one arm leave her body as the other gripped tighter. An outstretched palm faced the hard stone ground as unseen energy enveloped the pair, standing between them and death. The last thing she felt before fading out completely was the gentle impact of her body being set down, and that same hand that had so recently been holding hers return to its rightful place, fingers interlaced with her own.
That had been 5 days ago. 5 days since Ezra had leapt from the ramp of the Ghost and saved her life. She barely remembered the first day, spent under sedation while medical droids repaired her battered body. The second day, and most of the third, had passed without her knowledge as she slept, slowly but surely recovering. The fourth had seen her release from the medical bay and her return to her own bed. And now the fifth. Well into the night of the fifth, or maybe the morning of the sixth. She wasn't sure.
She had tried sleeping, but after a combined 50+ hours spent unconscious, her body refused to let slumber come. So she simply laid there, staring at the bottom of the upper bunk and the murals she had painted there so long ago. She felt fine, now. Her arm had been as good as healed as far as she was concerned. Mandalorians were not known for taking extended vacations to recover from wounds, especially what she felt were superficial ones.
The whole crew had been coming by with regularity. Hera or Kanan bringing her food, Zeb trying to make awkward small talk. And Ezra had come by, trying his hardest to talk about anything but what had happened. She still wasn't sure about the events of that day. They were still a haze in her mind, and so far no one had bothered to fill her in. She suspected they were going to let Ezra have that honor, but he was avoiding it as much as he avoided an honest day's work. But she knew one thing. He had saved her life.
So lost in her thoughts was Sabine that she almost missed the light tapping on the hatch to her quarters. Her eyes moved quickly to the door, her body still, uncertain she had really heard anything. A moment passed, then two.
Tap, tap…tap
She knew she heard it this time. Someone was outside her door,but was choosing not to use the intercom. Sabine stretched out her uninjured hand to activate the control switch, and the door shot open with a hiss.
Ezra.
"Sabine..? Are you awake?" a quiet voice came through the bright rectangle of light.
"Yes Ezra" Sabine grumbled, and immediately regretting her tone. Why had she sounded like that? She wasn't mad at him.
"Oh…well..sorry I just thought that…" he continued apologetically.
"It's ok Ezra, I wasn't sleeping" she said, much kinder this time.
"Can I come in?" Ezra said, still sounding unsure and embarrassed.
"I don't know, can you?" Sabine said sarcastically.
When she didn't see the light change and couldn't hear his footsteps, she corrected herself
"Get in here Ezra, or close the door"
Ezra paced quietly into the darkened room as Sabine reached over to turn on a light. He stopped mid stride when the new light revealed Sabine laying above her covers, wearing only a sports bra and a pair of very flattering compression shorts.
Sabine saw his mouth drop and watched his eyes move up her body. A warm feeling of satisfaction tickled at the back of her mind as she saw his appreciation.
"Well?" Sabine asked, pretending not to notice either his looks or what had caused them.
"I…uhhh…just wanted to come by and see if you wanted to maybe hang out for a bit" Ezra said shyly, clearly not entirely comfortable with the situation.
"Better than laying here all night. I'm gonna go crazy if they don't start letting me leave" Sabine groused, indicating her displeasure with the "bed rest" orders the medical droid had given her.
"How much longer ya got?" Ezra asked, sitting down on the floor next to her bed.
"They said 1 week, but I bet I could make that droid change his mind with the right…motivation" Sabine answered, eyeing her blasters on a table across the room.
"Well don't get your hopes up, we're grounded anyways" Ezra laughed, seeing that Sabine wasn't in a bad mood despite her words.
"What?" She demanded "This had better not be because of me" If Sabine had been ashamed of needing help before, it would be infinitely worse if her whole crew had been taken out of the fight on her account.
"No!" Ezra quickly followed up, sensing the reason for her outburst "The Ghost needs repairs and Hera is waiting on a part. Kinda hard to get new ones when you're a terrorist" Ezra said with a chuckle.
"Hera and Kanan are in meetings anyways. Zeb is out with Kallus getting him acquainted with his new role, and Chopper is…actually I don't know where Chopper is" Ezra finished, looking warily around the room for the mischievous droid, as if he would crawl out of a vent to torment the two teenagers.
"So why are you here?" Sabine asked puzzled.
Ezra looked up at her with the most genuinely warm smile she could remember seeing in years and simple said "I'm staying with you"
A long pause hung in the air as Sabine looked at him gratefully.
"Ezra…I…I wanna thank you for"
"It's fine Sabine, don't worry about it" Ezra quickly interrupted, not even letting her finish her statement.
Ezra quickly got to his feet and fidgeted, almost looking nervous as he glanced around the room.
"Hey, I got an idea" he said before she could ask him anything else. "You know how to play Sabacc?"
A little shocked by the abrupt change in subject and tone, Sabine replied "Yeah, I think I remember how to play" still giving him a suspicious look.
"I think Zeb has a deck in his room, you up for a game?" Ezra said with another one of his goofy grins.
Even if she wasn't in the mood for it, she didn't think she could resist that smile. Not anymore.
"Sure, that sounds fun" Sabine answered, her own mood brightening.
"You wanna play in here or you think you can make it out to the common room without dying?" Ezra asked slyly.
"Oh shut it, go get the cards. And I'll meet you outside. You're getting entirely too comfortable in my room" Sabine retorted as she got to her feet and pulled a thin black t-shirt over her torso.
Ezra laughed and disappeared out the door as she picked up a pair of shorts from the ground and slipped them on, taking care not to move her injured arm too much.
'I'm fine. It doesn't even hurt' she thought stubbornly to her self as she stood back up, making her own way to the door and the waiting common area outside.
Ezra was already sitting on the bench, a wicked smile on his face and the cards already laid out on the circular table.
"What are you up to..?" Sabine asked suspiciously as she eyed his look, slipping into the chair opposite him.
"Wellllll….I found something else in Zeb's room" Ezra replied, bringing his hands up from under the table. He set a large bottle on the table and smiled. "Wanna make this interesting?" Ezra asked with another devious look.
"What is it?" Sabine asked, giving the bottle a once over.
Ezra picked it up and looked at it curiously.
"It's…it's green". he replied, setting the mysterious and unlabeled bottle back down.
"I can see that" Sabine replied, looking unsure. While it wasn't something she really did anymore, and hardly ever since joining the Ghost crew, Sabine had been no stranger to intoxicating beverages while gallivanting through the galaxy with Ketsu. The pair had been playing life hard and fast, and had spent more than a few hard earned credits in a cantina here and there. Nothing too wild, but a girl has to live a little.
"How do we know it's safe?" She asked, giving Ezra an even look.
"Only one way to find out" Ezra said, then quickly popped the cap off and took a long pull.
After the usual wince that came from strong alcohol, he gave her another grin.
"I don't know what Zeb's been hiding from us, but it's delicious! You gotta try it!"
Sabine had had enough moping around and feeling sorry for herself. It was well past time to do something fun. She grabbed the bottle and without a second though, took a drink of her own.
"Damn! Kick's a little"
Ezra laughed and began dealing the cards, and soon the pair were deep into a round of Sabacc, laughing and joking, trading sips of the unknown drink.
"Ha! I win again!" Ezra shouted, throwing his winning hand down on the table. "That's three in a row, I think I should get a prize"
"A prize huh?" Sabine asked with a slight slur in her speech. Normally she would have just laughed at him and told him to keep dreaming, but the night had gone from lonely and bitter to lively and enjoyable in the span of an hour, and she was feeling relaxed and living in the moment.
"Tell me something embarrassing about you" Ezra said with a devilish smile.
"Ughhh nooo" Sabine moaned but the glitter in her eyes and content smile on her face betrayed that she was having a good time and didn't mind getting a little personal.
"C'mon Mando, you gotta have something. Tell me…about your first kiss".
"Fine" Sabine muttered, taking the half-empty bottle off the table and having another long drink.
"You can't laugh though. Promise" She glared at him.
"Haha I promise" Ezra replied with a quick raise of his eyebrows.
"OK….It was maybe a few months before I met Kanan and Hera" Sabine said as she started her story, her words ever so slightly blending together as she spoke.
"Me and Ketsu"
"That crazy chick who tried to kill us?" Ezra broke in
"Yes, that crazy chick who tried to kill us. You wanna hear this or not?" Sabine replied, leaning over the table and giving him a half annoyed, half teasing look.
"Fine fine, go on miss Wren" Ezra said with a false apologetic tone, his own normally jovial mood enhanced by the night's drink of choice.
"So me and Ketsu were on a job on…Denon? I think it was Denon. We got hired to pick up a Zeltron who murdered her husband. I guess he owned some big company that made…I don't know what they made. Anyways, we got a tip she liked to hang out in these underground dance clubs. It was the only time she really went out I guess, so we pretty much had to find her while she was there."
"This doesn't sound like a kissing story" Ezra said confusedly.
"I'm getting there. Would you just shut up and listen?" Sabine replied, leaning back in her chair with a sigh.
"So Ketsu gets the bright idea we should do it undercover. Scope the place out. Which on Denon apparently means wearing almost nothing. And by 'we' I mean 'me'. Ketsu decided to wait outside with our gear in case things got dicey. I guess our mark was into humans…female humans… So I go in dressed like…well you saw me earlier, picture that but with less material"
Ezra shifted uncomfortable in his seat and awkwardly grabbed for the bottle.
"So I start dancing, drinking a little to blend in, but not too much. Gotta stay sharp" She said with a smirk, seeing that Ezra was paying rapt attention to the story now, his own Sabacc cards left forgotten on the table.
"After I while I see her over at the bar, and she sees me….Do I really have to tell this?"
"Oh you can't stop now" Ezra laughed, enjoying her embarrassment almost as much as the story.
"Well we start dancing a little, and she starts getting a little 'touchy'" Sabine continued, making air quotes with her fingers to indicate she meant a lot more than just normal dancing.
"After a few songs, she asks if I want to leave with her…and she kissed me." Sabine looked up at Ezra with an expectant look.
"And?" Ezra asked impatiently.
"And what?" she replied innocently, knowing damn well what he was getting at.
"What happened next?"
"Well…I kissed her back. We left, Ketsu shot her in the back with a stunner, we dumped her in the trunk of a speeder and got paid. That's it"
"That's it?"
"Yes Ezra, that's it. What did you think, I went home and spent a wild night with the murderer I was supposed to capture?" Sabine asked with sarcasm and a hint of something else thick in her voice.
"So the first person you kissed…you ended up shooting? Should I be worried?" Ezra asked casually with a laugh.
"Maybe you should" Sabine said coolly and gave him a sultry look for a brief instant.
"But that's enough story time for you. Deal em"
Ezra looked a little disappointed, but not as much as he felt as he collected the scattered cards and dealt a new hand.
"So what about you Ez? I heard you were quite the ladies man on Lothal?" Sabine laughed a few hands later.
"Who told you that?" Ezra asked, his cheeks turning red
"I just figured with the way you acted when you met us, you must have had a girl in every spaceport" Sabine said, eyeing him intently. Now that she let herself look, she couldn't help but admire the way he had filled out over the years. His increased height not the only thing that made him look more manly. Ezra's short hair gave him a more serious and mature look, while his eyes and smile still showed the silly and lovable boy she had grown to know. There was pain behind those eyes too. Pain she knew all too well, but he did a good job of hiding it. Most of the time.
"Actually…Ineverhave" Ezra mumbled quickly, looking down at his cards, shame and discomfort obvious on his face.
"Wait, say that again" Sabine said, not catching his jumble words
"I've never…kissed anyone" Ezra answered, looking up at her and almost daring her to make fun with the intense look he gave her.
"Oh…I just would have guessed you did..with the way you acted, all charming and suave" Sabine said, trying to smooth the awkward moment over.
"Yeah well, there was someone…" Ezra said darkly, remembering his childhood friend that he had grown to have a crush on, right before her family whisked her offworld, never to see her again.
"But it didn't work out. Nothing happened. She moved"
"I'm sorry Ezra" Sabine replied warmly, reaching over to place her hand on his. An electric jolt shot through her own hand as her fingers met his.
"Well it's in the past. I don't think about it anymore. Anyways, your turn" Ezra answered, voice a little stronger, trying to get the game back on track as his head swam with a mixture of too much drink and too many memories.
Sabine looked down at her cards and knew she had him this time. And she knew exactly what she planned to do with her victory.
"Idiot's Array" Sabine said smugly, as Ezra through his own cards down. "And it's my turn to ask you something again"
"Aww c'mon, I had you" Ezra moaned
"Nope, fair's fair. You heard my story, and you looked like you enjoyed it. It's my turn Jedi. Not getting scared of a Mandalorian are you?" Sabine said, knowing she had him.
"Alright, ask." Ezra said with an exasperated sigh.
Sabine took a long moment, making her final decision. She looked up, her amber eyes gazing into Ezra's blue orbs, both of their cheeks now rosy from the alcohol.
"Why did you do it?" she asked simply, never losing eye contact with him,
"Do what?" Ezra asked, but knowing where this was going.
"Save me. Jump out of the Ghost. You almost killed yourself Ezra. Why?"
Ezra tried to look away, hoping the brief loss of eye contact would dissuade her, make her ask something else. But after a moment he looked back up at her and saw she hadn't moved an inch. Her eyes still bore into him expectantly. She wasn't letting this go.
"Because" he started. Giving her one last look, and himself one last chance to get out of this, he finally continued.
"Because I couldn't lose you Sabine"
"Ezra…you almost died. What if you hadn't been able to stop us?"
"So what? You almost died too Sabine. I wasn't going to let that happen" Ezra shot back almost defensively.
"The Rebellion needs you Ezra. You and Kanan…you're both too important. You can't throw your life away like that"
"I'm not losing you Sabine. I'm not letting you die. Not if I can do anything about it."
The conversation had turned serious in a flash and both were now feeling the heat of the moment. Late nights and drinking tended to end up with moments like this, and if both were more experienced, they might have known that. But they didn't and here they were.
"Ezra…" Sabine started, once again attempting to reason him out of his explanation.
"No Sabine. Just no. It's my life. I can't lose you. You don't get it. You never have. But I just can't. Where you go I go. If you die, I die. You're not gonna talk me out of this, and you can't change my mind. If I had to do it again right now, I would."
Ezra eyes flashed with a certainty she had rarely seen. Gone was the awkward, unsure, childish boy of the past. His body had long since matured, but she now saw that he had grown as a man as well. He wasn't flirting with her or trying to impress her with shows of bravery. He hadn't been trying to be a hero when he jumped after her, only his trust in the Force to keep them both from shattering on the rocks below.
Sabine's eyes began to water once again, but not from smoke or impending doom this time. She now realized that Ezra's crush had not only not gone away as she at first hoped, then feared. It had smoldered inside him for years, driving him forward, pushing him to grow stronger, smarter, faster, better. Better able to protect her if he had to.
And she realized the same had been happening in herself. She couldn't quite pick the moment when his flirtations had gone from cringe-worthy to charming. When she had gone from wishing he would stop to wishing he would begin again. She hadn't really realized it fully until now. Part of her had known for some time, the part that made her not cover her exposed body in her room earlier, something she would have done in an instant even a year before. The part that would have told him to go away so she could paint instead of sitting out here playing cards with him. The part that made her wish it was him every time her door chimed, and the disappointment she had to hide when she saw it was Kanan or Hera.
He had become part of her life. Not simply someone she knew or worked with. Not a ship mate or even a close friend. He was a presence in her life she couldn't imagine not being there ever again. She hadn't consciously thought of romance with him, until now, but in all of her wildest dreams of the future, somehow he was always there. At her side, in the background, in the room. Somewhere close. Whether she thought of what she might be doing in two weeks or 50 years, somehow Ezra was always there with her. He couldn't not be.
Sabine didn't know what love was. She had never felt it or had much use for it before. And she had grown accustomed over the years to assume anyone who got close to her would leave eventually. Like two ships briefly passing each other in the stars. She was on her own. In the deepest and most dark recesses of her mind, she still even feared that someday Kanan, Hera, Zeb, and Chopper would no longer be there. Not that they would abandon her, but that somehow something would happen and she would be somewhere and they would be somewhere else, never to meet again.
But not Ezra. He would always be there. Whether as her best friend or something more, he was part of her now. And she knew he felt the same way about her. He had just told her. And he had shown her not even a week ago. He would rather die that be without her.
Slowly Sabine stood up on shaking legs, her mind spinning from the now empty and discarded bottle. She made her way around the small table and sat on the bench, close but not quite touching Ezra.
The air in the room seemed to stand still and all sounds faded into the background as she looked at him, wordlessly sharing the moment they were both feeling.
"Sabine…"
"Shhhh" she whispered as she moved closer to him, reaching over to take his hand in hers.
'I know Ezra. I know" she cooed as she moved closer, lifting herself up and edging past him until she was straddling him, settling onto his lap.
Sabine's head moved forward and nestled into his neck as her arms wrapped around him, and his returned the gesture.
"I know Ezra…I do too" she replied to words he didn't say, but didn't have to.
The pair sat like this for time uncounted, lost to everything but each other. Sabine's head cradled in his shoulder as she slowly rocked back and forth in their embrace.
Ezra felt the wetness on his neck before he knew what caused it. Sabine had begun quietly sobbing into him, letting what must have been years of pent up emotions flow out of her into the arms of the one person she now, finally, could trust to open that side of her to. He didn't know of the countless nights she had cried to herself to sleep, or had woken up to another horrible nightmare from her past. Or how many more her stubborn pride had refused to allow her even that outlet.
He felt the woman grow still in his arms, her tears seeming to have finally run their course, and maybe her demons exorcised as well. The whole time he had held her close, never letting her go just as he said.
As weariness began to finally overtake them, he slowly lowered both of their bodies to lie down on the bench, not caring who may eventually see them or what might come of it. He only knew he wasn't letting her leave his arms this night.
As Sabine moved with him, her head came to rest directly in front of his. Once again her deep amber eyes, still misted with tears, met his and they stared into each others souls for what seemed to be an eternity, neither speaking but each understanding what the other had come to know.
Their lips met for the first time in that room on the Ghost, the ship that had become like a home for each of them. A fresh start for two people who had both needed one last second chance in life. They had found it. And they had found each other.