A Tale Told in the Dark Closet of Middle Earth
Disclaimer: I own nothing under this story's sun except my own twisted imagination…
(A/N)- Thanks to the author whose name I can't remember (eh! I'm so sorry!!!), for inspiring me to write this. It was because your idea of a 'shadowman' that this story came to be born. So this whole story is dedicated to you! Also I must say here that I wrote the first part of this story for school and that this is my first stab at a humorous fan-fic. R&R!!! ~~~~~Crystal
P.S. The first 2 chapters aren't that great, well actually they suck ….. so forgive me! I need more coffee and chocolate!
And so it begins……………
Chapter 1--------------------The Caddy and Death
I died Mr. Shadow person-thing sir. I know, I know I'm very much alive right now but before I came here I died. Yeah it did suck. What? Ohhhh you want to know how I got here. Do you mean to Middle Earth or here in the tangible darkness with you? Since your not answering me as usual and talking is the only thing that will keep me from going psycho-crazy, I guess I'll start off with how I ended up in Middle Earth.
Well it was beautiful fall night with the stars shining bright, when I was walking home from the store…I had stopped by to pick up the usual garlic-flavored milk and chocolate cherry's cause I had planned on getting my ass home and writing some LOTR fan-fic but of course that never happened. Anyways, so there I was walking along the deserted road to my parent's farm house when I heard the loud belch of a car horn and although the headlights blinded me, I could make out my science teacher Mr. Motley's pink El Dorado Cadillac hurtling towards me. True, true Mr. Shadow it does take a VERY secure man to drive a car like that but that's beside the point, although I always thought he was nothing more than a big pansy… Well I don't remember much after that, just the sensation of getting hit with like 100 baseball bats then I felt I was flying.
That stupid fat ass bastard ran me over! That shit head went out of his way to hit me! Yeah, yeah Mr. Shadow I know I'm not exactly the 'best behaved' student in the class but honestly!!! That's not a good reason to run over somebody! Oh well, it didn't actually hurt THAT bad…ok well maybe a little. So I lay there for what seemed an eternity staring at the black crumbling pavement just sorta chillin. No Mr. Shadow, I wasn't dead yet that comes next.
Suddenly I was standing before my broken and crumpled body not really feeling anything, just kind of hovering there, and then I looked up and watched as Mr. Motley swerved and came to a screeching stop. Then I vaguely heard that twat laughing. Laughing! I closed my eyes in anger, vowed never-ending revenge like in the movies, and finally surrendered myself to the sweet darkness that had begun to fog my vision.
Then Mr. Shadowperson sir, I was here in Middle Earth…with his friggin caddy. How or why in the good Lord's name did the car come with me, I'll never know…