A couple things before we begin. This is not my first time writing fanfics. Not my first time writing a RDR fanfic but it's been a while. I created this account to start over fresh. Some things may not be perfect to the RDR 2 storyline but that after all is why these are 'fanfics'... and, I can be quite forgetful so if some things might seem off or left out, that could be why.
Yes, in this fanfic, and whatever ones I may choose to write in the future, Arthur Morgan and John Marston are bisexual at the least and that's what my stories will tailor towards - their feelings for one another. If you're not comfortable with that and would rather stick to the canon way of things, you don't have to read this or any others that may come. I'm not here to force anyone to read. I'm just here to maybe gain a fan base of those who think or want to see some of the same ideas I'm thinking and enjoy exploring the same concept I have considered. So please, before I and you proceed, let's keep in mind this is a fic with homosexual scenes and feelings. If you proceed to read knowing this, please I ask don't come at me with rude comments. Thank you. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this fanfic.
I have let a friend proof read so hopefully all spelling and grammar mistakes have been avoided.
"This is a goddamn mess... We're losin' men left and right and Dutch is losin' his mind right along with it... or maybe, maybe I'm the one who's losin' his mind... I don't know anymore, I barely know which way is up and down these days. My loyalty, well, it's-" Just as pencil came to touch paper, a figure emerged outside of Arthur Morgan's tent, casting a shadow over the light that was provided by the lantern in the small space.
"Arthur" John's voice broke the silence of the late hours of the night. Arthur's gaze traveled from his journal to the man standing before his tent. "John." He gave an awkward nod. "Thought you were sleepin' with-" His words were cut off by a cough that he tried his best to play off as little as he could. "With Abigail and Jack."
"Can't sleep... I was..." John's gaze darted to the ground for a moment as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, take a ride with me? There's somethin' I wanna talk with you about, don't wanna talk here..." His words trailed off into a mutter as weary gaze traveled around the camp. Arthur's brow raised in response as he pulled out a pocket watch from the confines of his pants pocket. In the light it read 12:10. "John, it's 12 in the goddamn morning, we just busted your ass outta prison and you want ME to take a ride with YOU, to talk?" Arthur gave a shake of his head at that. "No, go get some sleep, with your 'family'." Words spat out more bitter than he had intended.
"Please Arthur, it's..." John's voice lowered as he knelt down and came in a little closer. "It's about Dutch."
Dutch... DUTCH. Arthur's attention peaked at that and he stared intently at John before finally letting out a deep sigh. "Alright, I'll come on your little midnight ride, but if we get into some kinda trouble, I'm gonna hang you my damn self."
"Comedy don't suit you Arthur, let's go..." John muttered as he backtracked his way out of Arthur's tent and stood up. Arthur was half tempted to roll his eyes as he reached for his gun belt sitting on a create next to him. As he exited his tent and stood up, Arthur secured the belt around his waist and followed John quietly to where the horses were kept. "What about the guard?"
"I'm supposed to be on guard." John responded as he mounted his horse.
"You're the guard and you're leaving?! If Dutch gets one sniff of this, he's not gonna be happy." Arthur shook his head, climbing into the saddle of his black Arabian.
"Yeah, well, I ain't happy about a lotta things he's been doin' lately... Guess we'll be even..." John's words held a little more... venom than usual. With a click of his tongue and a kick to the horse, John's horse started off in a trot.
Something of a growl was emitted from Arthur's throat but he bit his tongue regardless and guided the reigns of his own beast into the same direction as John's horse.
It didn't seem to take long, a little over five minutes if that for John to lead them to a secluded spot away from the camp. The both of them had ascended to the some high peak over looking some of the land below and for Arthur, it reminded him of nights long passed that he didn't care to think about these days. Oh damn the moon for shining bright in its place upon the sky, damned the stars for being out and damned the clouds for being nonexistent!
John brought his horse to a stop, overlooking the landscape below. He was silent for sometime as he leaned forward, resting against the horn of his saddle. In the corner of his eyes, Arthur made his up beside him.
"Nice night out..." John's voice finally broke the silence.
Arthur however didn't seem to care for the small talk. His gaze darted to John and then back ahead of them again. "Ain't here for small talk John..." Another one of Arthur's coughs broke through his words. "What's this about Dutch?"
"Dutch... Dutch..." John's words trailed off, as if he had almost forgotten the reasoning for coming all this way out here and perhaps, he did, perhaps he wanted to forget the reason. Dutch was beginning to become a dark cloud looming over all their heads as of late. "I been thinkin'... That day... My ride to the prison... Hell, when you're out there workin' the fields you do nothin' but thinkin'!" The man drew in a deep breath, looking over up to Arthur. "He was there Arthur... Right there."
Arthur looked over to him, with narrowed eyes. "We were all there John... Hosea... Lenny..."
"Arthur, he didn't do a damn thing! I feel like... I don't know I feel like he could've stopped it, I really do! I feel like he let them take me, of his own free will..."
Arthur's jaw clenched as he diverted his gaze from the man before him again, fellow gang member, family, brother, perhaps more... No. Those days were laid to rest ages ago it felt like and he couldn't think of them, not in this shit storm that was being kicked up once again.
"You think Dutch would deliberately let them capture you? For what? What would he gain from it?"
"His freedom..." John muttered, accompanied by a sigh soon after as he shook his head. "I don't know! But was he gonna come for me? Did he even have a plan? Did he talk about it? Look at me and answer it honestly..."
Arthur drew in his own deep breath and released it in a wheeze, swallowing deeply afterwards, teeth clenching again as he had to practically force himself to look up to John. "No, not really..."
"See! He was gonna let me swing! He was gonna... Argh!" John bit back his anger the best he could, turning completely away from Arthur. "I have a family... and he was going to take me away from them, for his own skin..." He gave another shake of his head as he released the reins to his horse, dismounting the creature.
Arthur watched him as he took a few steps away from where they were. This thing with Dutch, it was confusing... Arthur had never been boggled by something before but they had all sacrificed for him, lost for him, Arthur included.
Arthur dismounted his horse and was careful to approach John, leaving a bit of distance between the two of them. "This thing with Dutch, I don't know what's going on anymore... I just know things aren't the way we remember them... We aren't kids anymore. Things have changed, times have changed... " more coughs racked his body "The world's changing and it's leaving people like us behind and maybe..." Arthur paused, hesitant to continue his sentence at all, struggling to catch his breath at the same time. "Well, hell, what do I know? Maybe things were never as they seemed to begin with... Maybe we were just lost souls strung along, day-dreamin' of a better future that never came..."
John was silent for a couple of moments, just standing there with his thoughts... Thoughts of anger, thoughts of bitter-sweet nostalgia, of what was promised, what could have been and what was now crumbling around them. Slowly, he glanced over his shoulder back at Arthur. "What happened? What went wrong? We pledged our loyalty to Dutch van der Linde... We risked our lives... We sacrificed and now..." John's words trailed off as he turned to fully face his companion. "Now, you've ran your damn self half to death for this dream of his! Would he do the same for us?"
Arthur hated these kinds of things. Hated these touchy, feely kinds of conversations. It was hard to keep his gaze in contact but when he looked away, he was quick to snap back to John, catching the sight of the man quickly wiping away at his eyes. In haste he closed the distance between them even further and held his finger out to John. "Don't you dare! You better suck that shit up mighty quick or I'll beat your ass right here, right now."
John was the one to swallow hard this time as he locked eyes with Arthur, his form shaking just the slightest. "You've given more to us than anyone in this 'family' has... What about you Arthur? What has Arthur wanted? What has Arthur gotten? A bounty on his head..."
Arthur gave a swift shove to him. "Ain't none of your concern... I made my choices..." the coughs to his body came again "I have to live with them in the time I'm given... But you, Abigail, Jack..." cough "Things can be different for ya'll... This life it ain't yours to live John, it ain't theirs... Now, I've already talked with Sadie about helpin' y'all when the time comes."
John's hands clenched to fists when he was shoved, almost ready to come back swinging at that, until those two names were spoken and just as if time itself had frozen, he stopped in place, just staring at Arthur. "...and if I do... You, you'll be there too, won't you?"
Arthur almost wanted to shove him again, almost wanted to tackle him and throw a few punches his way. Why couldn't they go to how things were only months ago? Hating one another, throwing snide remarks and comments toward one another in passing. Things were easier then but he supposed if things were still like that, with that kind of resentment between them... John wouldn't be standing here today having this conversation with him.
Arthur reached out a hand to place upon John's shoulder with a nod. "Yeah... I'll be there... This thing, when it ends, I have a feelin' it's going to end nasty and I still got some fight in me yet."
In one swift motion, Arthur was pulled into a tight embrace that he couldn't have predicted, expected or have rejected. Oh, John had his sneaky ways about him.
"Thank you... For what you've done for me. You saved my life... Brother."
Arthur grumbled under his breath and pushed him away. "Don't call me that... Ya know it makes me feel awkward..." He muttered as he looked away.
John looked away, brows furrowing in mild confusion. "What should I then? You didn't want to be... Well, you know, all those years ago before... Abigail..."
"Don't bring this up again John. You promised to let that go... We both know that kind of shit's a death wish... People like that, it ain't right, it ain't normal..."
"Well if not that, if not brother, what?" John glared up at him.
"How about just, friend?" Arthur replied.
John lowered his head but nodded nonetheless. "Sure... Friend it is... Arthur..." Just as quick as that previous hug had come, John had swept in to place a quick kiss to Arthur's cheek.
However, this time Arthur was equally as quick in his reflexes, his fist whirled around, colliding with the side of John's face, socking him. "What the hell is your Goddamn problem? You trying to catch your damn death too?!" He exclaimed as his coughs returned.
"I... No... I just..." John somehow managed to keep his balance, reaching a hand up to rub the side of his face. However his gaze landed on Arthur in worry when the coughs didn't seem to subside this time, only getting worse. "Arthur... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..." He reached a hand out for the other.
"N-no..." Arthur waved him away with one hand as the other was placed over his mouth while he attempted to regain some control of himself, each time he felt as if he were coughing up one of his lungs. "G-give me s-space..."
John stepped even further back with a sigh. "I didn't mean to get you riled up... I just... I don't know what I was trying to do, what I was thinkin'... I'm sorry."
Once Arthur had finally managed to regain some of his control, apart from wheezing breaths, he turned to John, wiping blooded hands onto his trousers. "John. Forget it and leave it in the past. Please. As I said, we ain't kids no more."
John opened his mouth as if to say something but instead he just shook his head. "C'mon, we should head back to camp." He spoke as he headed for his horse.
Arthur pushed himself up out of his hunched over position and followed John's lead. Both men mounted their trusty steeds and started their descent from the cliff range and onto the route back to camp where Arthur could rest and John could resume position of guard for what time he had left.
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