The window was open, and a cooling breeze moved the lace curtains ever so slightly, causing shadows of the streetlights to move across his face. With the window open he could hear things going on. Soldiers on their night shift, walking here and there, chatting some of them whispering. He could hear most of their talks, although nights were usually silent. Silence. It made his skin crawl, yet at some point it put him at ease. Having a calm night was rare during these days. He looked fearfully to the distant horizon, wondering what will this day bring them. If anything at all. He suppressed a sigh—a sigh of great fatigue and near despair.
He looked to the bed to see his spouse still asleep. She was resting so peacefully it would be a crime to wake her, he thought. Her black hair lay across her neck where it had dried in strands. He hadn't seen her look so peaceful, so content, in a long time. Not since before they lost their unborn child. Just the mere thought made his heart ache like nothing he had ever felt before. Erwin felt a deep pain stab his heart for what could have been, yet another painful memory he did not want to recall ever again. He was supposed to take care of her, to be around. He knew that this awful memory will haunt him forever. It was his fault it ended this way. He balled his fingers into a fist and lowered his head in utter defeat. For a long moment, he watched her sleep, the dark sweep of her lashes relaxed against the curve of her rosy cheek.
He quickly blinked the forming tears away. The loss has affected him more than he realised. After a few years, the pain may lessen, but the void never goes away. He was slowly healing, both of them were. He wished he could sleep as peacefully as she was at the moment. Erwin wished he had something to hold onto, something where he could center his mind so he could let go of these awful memories that were haunting him. He was learning to make yet another room in his life for her, them. I'll have to be led round like a child, learning, Erwin thought to himself as a sigh escaped his lips.
She was everything he'd ever wanted, and never in his life would he find in another what he'd found in her. The more she was by his side, the more of his poisonous thoughts faded away. Erwin looked out across the valley at the deep orange shadows cast by the rising sun, and wondered about the future.
The breeze wafted its way through the open window of their room, filling it with the scent of the fresh dew that was slowly evaporating in the morning sun. She opened her turquoise eyes and looked towards the curtains, in the direction of that fine rustling breeze. She looked around the room, and saw a tall figure standing by the window. Erwin, she though. Alone, he was leaning against the wooden ledge. She crawled out of bed silently, being careful not to bring attention to herself.
She walked up to him slowly from behind, her hands resting on his stomach as she hugged him, hiding her face into his muscly back.
"You're up early." She noted. "Couldn't sleep?"
He placed his cold hand over hers. "No." She hummed and softly kissed his back. Erwin was now looking at her small hands, his fingers were softly playing with hers as his mind was racing with thoughts that he couldn't put into words. After a while in comfortable silence, she released him and stood closer. She leaned her back against the ledge and studied his face that was illuminated by the rising sun. Erwin's lover took his hand into hers and in slow motion started rubbing his hard skin with her thumb.
She could feel the sun's growing light on her face and soon she would feel its warmth on her skin. She could feel the touch of a cool breeze gently kiss goose bumps upon her skin. The sun's rays were warm, yet not enough to take the chill out of the air.
"It's been a while since we last watched the sunrise together." She smiled to herself as she felt him gently squeeze her hand. She looked up in his face, it was apologetic, he had no need to apologise. A sad smile crept across her face as she recalled her morning walk and its unexpected incident. It was not his fault. Neither of his nor hers. It was not meant to be. Slowly, she brought his hand to her mouth. She kissed his palm and then his knuckles holding his hand to her cheek. His thumb caressed her cheek, sending comforting tingles through her skin.
"We'll be fine." She watched as his gaze morphed from helpless to sad. She smiled at him, again, and hoped he understood it was her way of telling him they will get through this together and eventually be gifted with a child. His gaze was wary but he managed to smile back. She kissed his palm and closed her eyes. "My precious man," she whispered.