Discord's Life Story
One particular day, a pony was walking through a forest. "Ok," he said, "it should be around here somewhere. The gateway to the realm of chaos." The pony continued looking for what he is seeking.
"What's this?" the pony asked. He found something really abnormal. The pony touched it and he ended up getting transported into a really weird place.
"Ok, this is a totally bizarre place," the pony said, adjusting to his new surrounding, "A load of weird I don't know how to make these up monsters. This must be the realm of chaos, home to the one they call Discord, the draconequus. AKA: the spirit of chaos and disharmony."
"Why what do I have here?" a voice came out of nowhere. "What's that?" the pony asked. Suddenly, he saw two giant eyeballs staring at him. "AHHH!" the pony cried, "This is really unnatural! So you must be Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony? Right?"
The said draconequus suddenly appeared right in front of the pony. "Yes, I am Discord," he said, "So what pony decided to walk into my real?" "My name is Ricky," the pony.
"Well, hello there, Ricky," Discord said, "And what brings you into my world of chaos?" "I was going," Ricky began, "To interview you about your life." "Well, this is easy for me," Discord replied, "Well, we can't do it out here. So let's go into my home."
So they did, by teleportation. "You're good at that," Ricky told Discord. "I was born with it," Discord said, "Care for an apple core?" Discord showed Ricky a rotten apple core.
"Pass," Ricky replied, "I take it that you keep your place the opposite of tidy." "True, true," Discord said, "You've said you want to interview me about my life? Please take a seat."
"All right," agreed Ricky, and he did so. He sat on a couch. But then Ricky heard a low growling sound. "What's that sound?" he asked. "Oh, I think that's my couch," Discord replied, "I think you made it mad." "Wait a minute," Ricky said, "I think you made it mad? Then this couch is alive!" Ricky immediately jumped off of the couch. It stopped growling.
"Never mind," Ricky said at last, "I'll sit on the floor." "All right," said Discord, "Let me begin." So he did.
"A very long time ago," Discord began, "When I believe there was no equestrian. No wait. Ok, there was this unexplained source of unbalanced magic. I believe it was floating around for millions of years."
"What about this unbalanced magic?" asked Ricky. "For millions of years," Discord explained, "Actually it existed shortly before Equestria was created. So after millions of years it finally took the form of a mysterious being. Which is what you see right before you." "Ok," said Ricky, "So why did this unbalanced magic formed into you?"
"I was born of it," said Discord, "I don't really know how it made me exist. Not 100 percent, you know. I didn't know why it even existed in the first place. All I know is that I came into this world like this, you see."
Discord showed Ricky his whole body. Actually, he dissembled himself. "Ok, I get it, Frankenstein draconequus," Ricky retorted.
"Well, then," Discord said, putting himself back together, "I was born of this unusual magic. Whenever I think of it, strange things happen around me. Like the time I turned a herbivore dinosaur against a carnivorous dinosaur or I cause those pterosaurs to turn into birds, which is impossible. Because of this strange magic, I can make all sorts of crazy things happen around me."
"Ok," said Ricky, "So you were around before the days of Princess Celestia and Starswirl the Bearded, right?" "Of course," answered Discord, "Speaking of which, after some time, I fell into a deep sleep for a few million years. Before the time I woke up, ponies became the dominant beings of Equestria and made it their own world. When I woke up, I became curious about these beings. They have magic, too, many of them, but much better than the magic I was born with."
"I see," said Ricky, "So your saying that our magic is different than the magic you were born with, right?" "Of course," replied Discord, "So, I became curious of these pony creatures and tried to coexist with them."
"So how did that go?" asked Ricky. "Well, almost successful," Discord answered, "It had mixed results. Most of the ponies were surprised of my appearance. Others were kind to me. So we've got along well for a long time. Most of the time. But I became curious with my powers even more. Then one day, the ruler of Equestria at a certain time, Princess Celestia entrusted me to look after the ponies of Equestria while she and her sister had important business to attend to at the time."
"All right," said Ricky. "However, for humor," Discord continued, "Because the ponies had better magic than mine, I decided to use my own corrupted magic to cause them to have the worst time of their lives!"
"Oh," Ricky sighed, and then thought to himself, "I know what happened after that."
"I continued to give the little ponies the worst time of their lives until a certain Princess Celestia and Princess Luna stood up to me." "I knew it!" mumbled Ricky. "I really thought it was a hilarious joke," Discord explained, "They blasted me with the elements of harmony and turned me to stone as a result, which I still thought that was a joke."
"That's how I saw you laughing as a statue," Ricky mumbled to himself. "So I was a statue for more than a thousand years," Discord continued, "Until the effects of the elements of harmony wore off. I got free and continued to do what I did before I got turned to stone." "Of course," said Ricky, "Go on."
"I did turn Equestria into a loony area," Discord continued, "Turning Ponyville into the capital of chaos. Also, to make the elements of harmony useless, I turned the ponies in possession of them the opposite of who they are. Including my best friend, Fluttershy."
"Hey, I've heard of Fluttershy," said Ricky, "I heard that she used to go to the school I used to go when I was a teenager. "Ok," said Discord, "They undid my magic and turned against me, and thus turning me to stone once again." "Right," agreed Ricky. "Ok, I didn't think it was a joke that time," Discord said.
"No surprise," said Ricky. "I know," said Discord. "And you really did a good job of turning them into the opposites of themselves," Ricky told Discord.
"I know it's the wrong thing for me to do to them," Discord said, ashamed, "So after that, Princess Celestia decided to have me reform to make a use in Equestria and thanks to Fluttershy, it worked. Ok, I've caused some angry beavers to cause a big mess. So, I chose to be helpful and a good friend from that point on." "Right you are," said Ricky.
"Oh and look at the me lamp," Discord said, showing Ricky a 'broken' lamp shaped like him, holding a light bulb and wearing a skirt. "Never mind," said Ricky. "Although I did fake an illness and teamed up with a monstrous centaur monster that stole magic from ponies, only to be betrayed by him, and also had a few other mishaps, now I'm one better draconequus! Don't you agree, fellows?"
"Yes, yes, yes." Three other Discords popped out of nowhere and agreed with Discord. "Yep," said Ricky not really surprised, "You are indeed the spirit of chaos and disharmony, born from corrupted magic millions of years ago."
"Right you are, there little pony," said Discord.
"Well, thank you so much for your interview, Discord," said Ricky, "You've told me a lot." "Why no problem," Discord said in return, "Glad to talk to some pony around here."
"I must be off now," Ricky said, "Thanks once again." Ricky got up off the floor and prepared to leave. Or not. "Hey, Discord, where's the door?" Ricky asked.
"Oh, there was never really a door," Discord said, "But you're welcome to try the emergency exit." "Ok," said Ricky.
He walked to the back, only to find that the suggested emergency exit is really a garbage chute. "You've got to be kidding me!" Ricky burst out. "What?" Discord said.