So, I've loved the song Falling Slowly from Once for a while now, but I only recently realized "Hey, this song is perfect for E&E" and thus, this came into existence. I couldn't decide whether to use it for a one-shot or for another of my fanfics, The Tide, but I decided on this in the end, and I have to say that I am pleased with the result. Eponine is Samantha Barks, of course, and I am finally conforming to Aaronjolras. But only for this fanfic. Not for the others.
Falling Slowly
May 1st, 1832
He had always seen her there, Marius' shadow. She would sit quietly in a corner of the cafe, her dark eyes on him at all times, her face shadowed by her cap, but not so much that he couldn't see her expression of longing. She was always there watching Marius, every evening. And after the meetings, she would always talk to him, occasionally twirling a lock of her long, raven hair on her index finger as she beamed up at him.
She began to fascinate him, the girl who so obviously loved Marius that everyone but Marius himself could see it. And over time, as the months wore on, he had begun to find himself longing for her, quite possibly the way that she longed for Marius. He tried to deny it, he had never even spoken to the girl, but every time he saw her, he could feel his heart skip a beat. He could feel himself falling for her, and it frightened him.
I don't know you but I want you, all the more for that.
He sighed as he set down his book, unable to focus on his reading because of Grantaire's drunken ramblings, and he saw her. Sitting on the far side of the room, glancing around as if looking for something. Or someone, he thought ruefully as Marius walked in and her eyes finally settled as a smile crossed her face.
"Eponine!" Marius said happily as he hurried over to her.
So, her name is Eponine, Enjolras thought. A pretty name for a pretty girl. No, beautiful. That's what she was. Beautiful, even with her skinny body and dirty face and tangled hair. He had never seen anyone more beautiful than her.
The two began to laugh and chat, Eponine looking far happier than Marius did. Enjolras scowled and tried to go back to his book, trying to block them out. Marius was blind. He was lucky to have Eponine, but he could hardly even see her. She deserved better.
Words fall through me and always fool me, and I can't react.
May 30th, 1832
"Marius, you're late," Enjolras said disapprovingly as the other man entered the cafe. He carefully masked his surprise that Eponine wasn't with him. She was usually either waiting for him, or would enter with him.
"What's wrong today? You look as if you've seen a ghost!" one of their friends said. Enjolras wasn't sure who, he was too surprised by Marius' lack of a shadow.
"Some wine and say what's going on!" said another of their friends in a drunken voice that could only be Grantaire's. He quickly turned a scowl on the drunk.
"A ghost you say?" Marius said. He looked like his head was off in the clouds. "A ghost maybe! She was just like a ghost to me!" Enjolras felt his heart begin to sink with dread. Had he finally seen Eponine? Really, truly seen her? "One minute there, then she was gone!" No, it was worse. He had found someone else, and Eponine was going to be cast aside.
"I am agog, I am aghast, is Marius in love at last?" Grantaire asked mockingly. "I've never seen him 'ooh' and 'ahh'." He laughed drunkenly, walking over to Enjolras and placing a hand on his shoulder as the wine in the bottle he held with his other hand sloshed around, nearly spilling. "You talk of battles to be won, and here he comes like Don Juan!" He gestured towards Marius with the hand holding the bottle so quickly that some of the wine flew into the air. "It is better than an opera!"
Enjolras scowled again and shrugged Grantaire's hand off his shoulder.
"It is time for us all to decide who we are," Enjolras announced, trying to get everyone back on track. "Do we fight for the right to a night at the opera now? Have you asked of yourselves what's the price you might pay? Is this simply a game for rich young boys to play? The colours of the world are changing day by day." He paused a moment to catch his breath before continuing. "Red: the blood of angry men, black: the dark of ages past! Red: a world about to dawn, black: the night that ends at last!"
He frowned when he realized that no one was listening to him. They were all too busy paying attention to Marius.
"Had you been there tonight you might know how it feels to be struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight," Marius sighed wistfully. "Had you been there tonight you might also have known how the world can be changed in just one burst of light. And what was right seems wrong, and what was wrong seems right."
"Red!" Grantaire called out.
"I feel my soul on fire!" Marius replied, a lovesick look in his eyes.
"Black!" Grantaire cheered again.
"My world when she's not there!
"Red!"
"The colour of desire!"
"Black!"
"The colour of despair!"
Enjolras cut in then, ending the foolishness. He didn't want to listen to Marius anymore. "Marius, you're no longer a child," he reprimanded. "I do not doubt you mean it well, but now there is a higher call! Who care about your lonely soul, we strive towards a larger goal: our little lives don't count at all!" And with that, he began the chant again, and Marius was finally back on track.
"Well Courfeyrac, do we have all the guns? Feuilly, Combeferre, our time is running short-" he scowled again as he caught sight of Grantaire. "Grantaire, put that bottle down!" He turned back to the others. "Do we have the guns we need?"
"Give me brandy on my breath, and I'll breathe them all to death!"
"Listen everybody!" yelled a child's voice then, cutting off Grantaire's drunken remark. "General Lamarque is dead!"
Silence fell.
"Lamarque is dead," Enjolras said after a moment. "Lamarque... His death is the hour of fate. The people's man... his death is the sign we await!" His eyes lit up as he spoke. "On his funeral day they will honour his name with the light of rebellion ablaze in their eyes! From the candles of grief we will kindle our flame: On the tomb of Lamarque will our barricade rise! The time is here! Let us welcome it gladly with courage and cheer! Let us take to the streets with no doubt in our hearts, but a jubilant shout! They will come, one and all! They will come when we call!"
And games that never amount to more than they're meant will play themselves out.
"It is the future that they bring when tomorrow comes!" Enjolras had never been so excited in his life, but it all came crashing down as he turned and saw Eponine entering the cafe, a pained expression on her face. Oh God, does she know? Does she know that Marius is head over heels for some girl whose name he doesn't even know yet?
As he watched, Marius rushed over to her, his eyes lit up with joy.
"Ponine, did you find her?" he heard him ask her.
No. He can't have. He didn't, Enjolras thought, horrified. As he watched, Eponine nodded slowly. The pain was clear in her eyes, yet Marius didn't even see it. He just smiled even more widely, then turned to look at Enjolras, as if asking permission to leave. Enjolras simply narrowed his eyes before turning away. He didn't want to see Eponine in even more pain. He heard them leave, and his hands balled up into fists.
"Is there a problem, mon ami?" Combeferre asked quietly, joining him while the others continued to cheer and drink.
"Marius. How can he be so blind?" Enjolras replied.
"You love the girl, don't you?"
"What girl?"
"Eponine."
Enjolras didn't respond, and Combeferre only had to look at him to know he didn't have to. The answer was written on his face. The marble had cracked.
Take this sinking boat and point it home. We've still got time. Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice. You've made it now.
He paced back and forth across the living room of his flat. How could he be so foolish? He'd never even spoken to the girl in all these months! Simply looked at her! And now he loved her.
But the revolution was in a week, on the day of Lamarque's funeral. He couldn't be distracted. Marius was already enough of a problem, he couldn't let his own feelings become one as well.
Falling slowly, eyes that know me, and I can't go back. The moods that take me and erase me, and I'm painted black.
June 4th, 1832
It was the night before the funeral of Lamarque. Enjolras was walking home from the cafe, his heart heavy. He would never admit it, but he was afraid. Afraid for his friends. What if they died?
His thoughts were brought to a halt when he saw her, however. She was sitting with her back against a wall, her skinny arms wrapped around her knees, cap skewed on her head as she looked at the ground.
"Eponine?"
She looked up, and he drew in a shaky breath. She looked dead. Her eyes were empty of emotion, and her face was expression. Only the tear stains on her face showed her pain. Just what has Marius done to you?
"M'sieur?" she asked, her voice hollow. He quickly crossed the few feet between them.
"Are you all right, 'Ponine?"
"How do you know me?" she asked.
Did she really not know him? "I am Enjolras, I've s-"
"Right, you're their leader," she said, cutting him off. "I didn't recognize you without your big words."
He grinned. "Good to see you still have a sense of humour."
"Did Marius tell you about me?" she asked.
He frowned at Marius' name. "Yes, a little, but he didn't need to."
She looked surprised.
"I've seen you at our meetings." He wasn't sure what else to say. What else could he say? 'I've fallen in love with you over the past few months at the cafe despite never speaking to you until now?' She would surely think him a fool. But Marius had fallen for Cosette in less time...
"How did you know my name? You've never spoken to me."
"I'm a leader, it's my job to notice things such as names," he replied. "Although you are far more than a 'thing' mademoiselle."
She smirked. "There's the fancy speech."
"Do you have a place to stay for the night?" he asked. He knew the answer already, though. He knew she lived on the streets. He had seen her curled up in an alley more than once, but had been too afraid to approach her. But now he had the chance.
"Yes," she said, shifting uncomfortably. He raised an eyebrow.
"Other than right here?"
She shook her head.
"Come on, you can stay with me," he said gently.
She looked up in surprise. "Really?"
"Of course."
Well, you have suffered enough, and warred with yourself. It's time that you won.
He offered her the bed, but she insisted he take it. Eventually, they settled on a compromise, and agreed to share.
"Why are you so nice to me, Enjolras?" she asked as she lay on her back next to him.
He was quiet a moment, but he knew he couldn't avoid the question. Nor could he lie. "I've always seen you Eponine," he replied softly. "You intrigued me. I'd watch you in the cafe, and somehow, over the past few months, I found myself falling for you. I love you,"
She was silent a moment before she spoke. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, monsieur, but I-"
"Love Marius, I know everyone could see it except for him," Enjolras replied bitterly, turning away from her to lie on his side. She said nothing.
"We've both been fools, haven't we, Eponine," he said quietly after several long moments, "falling for someone out of our reach. Even now you may as well be worlds away, and yet-" he cut himself off. And yet with you my world has started.
She didn't reply. He hadn't expected her to. But at least she knew.
But he didn't know that she had seen him in the cafe too, that she had often lain awake, wondering if things would have been different if she had fallen for the handsome revolutionary leader rather than Marius.
Without warning, she shifted closer to him, so that she could feel the heat of his body, despite the fact that they weren't touching.
He stiffened momentarily, surprised at her movement.
"Please be careful tomorrow at the barricade," she whispered. He was surprised by her concern. She was in love with Marius, so why was she suddenly so worried about him?
"I'll be as careful as I can," he replied carefully. "Now go to sleep, Eponine. Tomorrow will be a long day." He was silent a moment before adding "and make sure you stay away from the barricade."
She never answered.
Take this sinking boat and point it home. We've still got time. Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice. You've made it now
June 5th, 1832
Enjolras was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. He was beyond grateful that Gavroche had pointed out Javert, but he wished the boy could have done it sooner. But Gavroche hadn'tbeen around when Javert had volunteered...
"There's a boy climbing the barricade!" Joly yelled suddenly. Enjolras turned his head, wondering who it could be. He watched as Joly helped the boy down... He narrowed his eyes, frowning. Something about the boy was familiar.
"I know him," Marius said, rushing over to the boy.
"Enjolras," Combeferre said, rushing over to him. Enjolras turned his head away from Marius and the boy to look at Combeferre, who began to say something about medical supplies. But Enjolras found that he couldn't focus. His mind was still on Marius and the boy, something wasn't right there...
"Oh God, it's everywhere!" Marius exclaimed suddenly, and Enjolras instantly turned away from Combeferre, and his heart nearly stopped. He should have known. It wasn't a boy that was now lying in Marius' arms, blood blossoming out from the chest, but Eponine.
"Oh, no," Combeferre said softly.
Enjolras couldn't move. He could hardly breathe. He felt as though his heart was breaking as he stood watching Eponine, the one woman he had ever truly loved, die in the arms of a man that she loved who could never love her.
He felt Combeferre place a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he didn't respond. He couldn't respond.
As he watched, Eponine tried to pull herself up to kiss Marius. Their lips were only an inch apart. But then Eponine's head fell back and her arms dropped. Marius leaned over, lifting her head slightly, and kissed her forehead.
Enjolras shrugged Combeferre's hand off his shoulder, and turned to nod to him.
Combeferre understood, and walked over top lift Eponine's tiny body from Marius' arms before carrying her limp form to the cafe. She was dead.
Falling slowly sing your melody, I'll sing along.
He made his way quietly to where Eponine's body lay. It had been a few hours since she had died, and the others were all resting. He gently brushed a strand of hair from her face. Her skin was cold now.
"Why Eponine? Why did it have to be him?" he whispered before leaning down and gently pressing his lips to her cold forehead.
A tear rolled down his cheek as he looked at her. Her face was pale and peaceful in death. He gently stroked her cheek with his finger tips, wishing that his touch would bring her back to life, but knowing it wouldn't. She was gone. Gone forever.
I paid the cost too late. Now you're gone.
He climbed the barricade and grasped the flag tightly in his hands. His friends were dying behind him, and the national guard outnumbered them greatly. Death was the only possible outcome for any of them. I will see you again soon, Eponine, he thought. He felt strangely calm, despite knowing what his fate would be. He was going to die, and he knew it, yet rather than feeling afraid, he felt at peace. He would be with Eponine.
"Vive la France!" he cried as he waved the flag in the air.
Gunshots cracked in response, and he felt the impact of the bullets, and then he was falling forward from the barricade, down into oblivion.
He opened his eyes slowly, and felt joy rush into his heart. She was there, kneeling beside him, brushing his blond curls from his face.
"Eponine," he murmured.
She smiled. She looked so beautiful. For once, the dirt and worry and fear was entirely gone from her face. Her long dark waves were neat and clean. "I'm here," she whispered before leaning over to briefly press her lips to his.
He sighed contentedly when she pulled away shortly after. "But I thought you-"
She quickly cut him off. "It took dying to realize that all this time, it has never really been Marius that I love," she told him, placing one hand on his cheek. "All this time, it's really been you."
He sat up and placed one hand on the back of her neck and caught her in a kiss. He felt her arms slide around his neck, and he wrapped his other arm around her waist.
After several moments, she pulled away and stood, a smile still on her face. Her boy clothes were gone, and she was wearing a simple green dress. She looked more beautiful than ever, he thought, but that was because for once she looked truly happy. She extended one arm, offering him her hand.
"Take my hand, I'll lead you to salvation," she whispered. He stood, and took the hand that she had offered.
"There's no need," he replied softly. "With you, I'm already there."