If Your Heart was Mine
Dan made a hand heart to the camera, smiling radiantly, full of laughter. I joined in, not knowing what we were laughing about, but laughing at the fact that I was clueless. He looked at me, and I looked at him for less than a second before we burst out laughing once more. As he made another hand heart, I couldn't help but think of how adorable he was. I picked up a stuffed llama and threw it, causing him to fall off the bed, laughing hysterically.
"And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, Phil should not be permitted to be around animals." He exclaimed, wrapping his arms around the fluffy stuffed animal.
Dan shut the camera off and headed to his computer to start editing. Instead of following, I went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Instead, I leaned against the refrigerator, staring off into the distance. I had so much on my mind. There was YouTube and BBC Radio, but all I could really think about was Dan. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second, I was thinking about Dan. Sometimes it felt wrong, as if I was a fan girl obsessing over his hand hearts and llama hats and cat whiskers, but it could never go away, the desire for him to look at me the way I looked at him.
I suddenly looked up, startled to see Dan right in front of me. "Oh, hey" I said, trying to act casual. "I didn't see you there"
"I can see that" He replied, his mouth twitching into a smile.
I looked at him. Every little detail of him was perfect. His dark hair was swept to the side. Even though his hair was now shorter (since he had cut it), I didn't mind. I looked at his porcelain skin and stared into his intense yet soft eyes. It went quiet and I found that he was staring back at me. I looked away, embarrassed. What if he found it creepy? I couldn't take that risk.
"Anyways, I was wondering if you could help me edit the rest of the video?" he asked awkwardly.
"Sure…" I replied, looking down at my feet.
Once we were in the room, Dan started showing me what he was having trouble with. He bit his lip in concentration, staring at the screen. 'Oh, God...' I thought, sneaking a glance at him. It was so cute when he couldn't understand something. I put my hand over his, guiding the mouse cursor across the screen.
He looked back at me. I gazed into his eyes again, this time not looking away. He leaned into me. The smell of aftershave lingered around him. 'Since when did he start shaving?' I wondered. I also leaned forward, causing our lips to interlock. My heart pounded. Was this what I really wanted? After all this time, was it really happening? We pulled away at the same time, and stared back into each other's eyes.
Dan smiled, and I couldn't help but smile back. "Well I guess this is the time to tell you that I like you… more than a friend" he said, lightening the mood.
I laughed. "Same." Then I frowned. "You don't think we could actually… you know…"
"Well only if you'd be comfortable with it." He replied, almost reading my thoughts.
I smiled at him, and he grinned back. For the first time in forever, I felt safe and happy. For the first time, I knew everything was going to be all right.