Me: Well Thanksgiving is coming up so I decided on doing a side fic to Life of a psychotic red-head.
Tala: Aw come one. Be nice. It's a holiday.
Me: NO! Now do this disclaimer.
Tala: The fallen angel927 does not own beyblade...thank god.
Me: HEY!
"Get up." said Ten pointing a gun at my forehead.
"No." I said
"I said get up." said Ten again taking off the safety.
"No."
"Last warning," said Ten as he shot a spot on my pillow a mere 4 inches away from my head, "Get. Up."
...I suddenly miss Yang's wake up calls. Reluctantly (read: fearfully) I get up and out of bed. Looking at the wet stain at my bed I sigh. I thought I was beyond pissing in the bed. Obviously not.
"TEN! I TOLD YOU NOT TO KILL TALA!" yelled Yang from downstairs...somewhere.
Ten grunted and went downstairs to meet Yang and discuss how alive I am. Tell you one thing I won't be going to sleep for a long time if that's going to be my wake up call ever again. Listening closely I wait till I make sure the coast is clear before I take the blanket from around me. What? If you lived with these people who would be wary too. Yesterday Brooklyn claimed that we all needed to be tested so that our, and I quote, " anatomical selves are sound. This way we can give our fellow brothers a pretentious altercation."
Question: Why does Brooklyn use big words as if he was a walking thesaurus?
Question number two: If this was for the whole team, why was I the only one "tested"
Last question: During this "test", Why was I touched in inappropriate places?
Sigh. It's a wonder why I just don't go somewhere and off myself. I feel as if fate is having a grand old time laughing at me.
"Fate does not laugh at people for it is god that has the sense of humor."
Great and now I'm hearing voices in my head that talks to me whenever my faulty inner monologue fails.
"No you are not hearing voices Tala." said Yang who was standing in the doorway next to Garland.
Hey! Since when was he invited to stay at my house? Great more people. I swear the whole BBA and BEGA is going to be here. Just you wait. I bet you 5 dollars...or maybe not. I owe you people enough money as it is.
"Well what are you standing there for? Get dressed!" said Yang, " You have guests waiting downstairs!"
"Who?"
"Everyone now get dressed!" she said as she slammed the door.
Well that was very descriptive. Walking downstairs I notice that everyone, I mean EVERYONE, is down stairs...dammit! I should've kept that bet. Oh well. Money never risked is money never stolen...or is it lost? Aw screw it.
"Excuse me!"
"Yeah she was so jealous!"
"No way!"
"Way and did you see..."
"I don't thinks so. If you reverse the rotation..."
"Oh!"
Damn she was right that everyone was here. I mean everyone. Even people I don't know. I mean who the fuck is Salima and why is she talking to my Rei as if they were the best of friends?! She should just go with that Okuma...Azumo...whatever guy and leave my Rei alone!
"Great party right Tala?" said Tyson patting me on the back
"One. It is not a great part, hell I didn't even know of this party in my house and two. I don't like you so don't touch me." I spat out with venom
"Okay then" said Tyson moving warily away from me.
"Heads up!" yelled some random guy as a football went sailing past my head closer than Ten's bullet.
I know that this is going to result in a head-ache. Great.
"We have the turkeys!" yelled...someone. I think that's Dunga.
Question: Why are they alive?
Oh god. We're going to kill them!
"FREEDOM MY BIRD FRIENDS! FLY AWAY!" yelled Brooklyn as he opened the cage of live turkeys.
...Or maybe not. Sigh. Now we have to catch them. Thanks a lot Brooklyn.
"um Brooklyn. Turkey's don't fly." said Julia.
"Is that all you have to say?! Turkey's don't fly! There are at least 7 turkeys in my house and instead of trying to catch them you're going to comment on their ability not to fly! What the hell is wrong with you? " I yell.
"Whoa Tala. Calm down. Take it easy bud--"
" No! You try calming down when there's a party being thrown in your house with people you don't even know and a psycho who just let 7 turkey's loose in my house. I THINK I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE FUCKING ANGRY!" I yell at Max.
By this time everyone is silent and staring me. Do I care? Hell no.
"..Um. Maybe we should go." said Raul dragging his sister.
"No! You all are staying here until all these damn turkey's are caught and if any one of you are thinking of not helping then I advise you to write out your will right now!" I yell.
"And who are you to boss me around?!" said Mariah, "After all I am your--"
Crunch.
If you're wondering what that was it was my fist connecting with Mariah's face and breaking her jaw.
"Now. Are there any other objections?!" I threatened.
Everyone shook their heads no.
"Then start catching these fuckers. NOW!"
I am pissed.
No. I am furious.
Correction. Enraged. Why? Easy. No one can catch a fucking turkey. Except Ten who just shot the one he found in the head. Which in turn spread turkey brains all over my walls. Why am I going through this? Oh yeah it's Thanksgiving and we have to be grateful and share food with everyone. Screw it. This has got to be the worst holiday on the planet earth. Even more so than Valentine's Day.
"I got it...never mind."
Question number 1: Who decided to buy these fuckers while they were alive?
Question number 2: Where the hell is Yang?
Question number 3: And why of all moments did Brooklyn decided to be an animal activist?!
God. I hate my life. Shoot me now.
"Hey! Why aren't you doing anything?"said a girl, Melissa no. Miriam...Arg who cares!
"Excuse me?!" I said with a glare
"Nothing!" said the girl timidly
Grr. I need aspirin...
"OW! IT PECKED ME!"
Screw aspirin. Vodka. I just want to get drunk and forget this all right now. See. This is the moment where I need Yang and yet she's still not here! Unfortunately I can't cut her paycheck, seeing as I am not the one paying her.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" yelled Yang from the doorway.
Thank you Jesus.
5 hours later
We caught them. Finally.
"And you decided to free them?!" said Yang yelling at Brooklyn.
Yes. Yang is interrogating them getting down to the bottom of this catastrophe. Me currently I don't care. All I know is that my head hurts and my vision is beginning to blur. Oh wait what's this?
"Take it." said Ten, "It's your medicine."
And I never thought the day would come that I'd be happy to take my pills.
"Okay then I know exactly how to solve this problem. You you and you. Out." said Yang as she pointed to Dulan (?), Steve and Rick."Brooklyn since I can't really kick you out you are banned from leaving you're room except for training. You bathroom time will be scheduled and you will only get one meal a day. No objections. Got it?"
"But--"
"NO OBJECTIONS!" she said using her surround sound, "UNDERSTAND?"
"Ma'am yes ma'am!" They all said going their respective ways.
"Oh and by the way if I catch any of you that are leaving even thinking of coming back here. There will be hell to pay." she said with a smile, "Now Ten do you mind escorting them out?"
Ten grunted as he 'escorted' Dummel (?), Steve and Rick out. Ten is going to murder them...hopefully.
"Now that this fiasco is over with I can expect no more trouble right?" said Yang smiling at everyone else as if daring them to test her.
"No ma'am." everyone said.
"Good."
Well after that everyone cleaned up. (Even Brooklyn was let out of his room...Okay so he was forced to clean up most of the mess) Things went smoothly...or so I wished.
"Why do I have to clean?!" said Ming-Ming or should we said her royal pain in the ass.
" I mean I have a manicure to keep up and doing extra work would make me all muscular and nobody wants a muscular pop artist!"
True although a dead one would be nice right about now.
"And what wattage are these bulbs? After all anything over 100 burns my skin."
If that's true then I hope you burn to death. What? You think I'm being mean? You try listening to this for the past hour and see if you wouldn't want to kill her.
"Also is the air in here purified? I mean clean air is all I can breathe."
I hope you go outside and die from the pollution then. Grr. I am seriously considering murdering her.
"Hm. You missed a spot."
"SHUT UP ALREADY!" yelled Bryan who just happened to also be forced to listen to her whining. " Is that all you ever do?! Purified air this and high wattage bulbs and arg. If you don't shut up I am going to throw you out of a window!"
And this is why we all love Bryan. He actually got that thing to shut up.
"...That wasn't nice. You know the more you get angry the more wrinkles-- Hey! Where are you taking me! What?! No!"
"Bryan put her down." said Rei.
"No."
"...Well at least tie her mouth shut so we won't hear the scream."
Oh my god! Did that actually come out of Rei's mouth! Usually he's the one against killing people! You see! I'm not the only one! Everyone wants her dead! So ha! You can't call me mean!
"Just tie her up and sit her outside the door." said Yang.
Dammit. Fun ruiner. I actually wanted to see her fall.
"Too bad."
Dammit. Well at least it's only my second slip of the day. Hm. I seem to be getting better at this.
1 hour later
Yay! Food! We finally get to eat and actually have some sense of peace. Though with Tyson's eating I swear a famine was coming tomorrow. Anyways. Another highlight of today. Thanks to my good and solid punch to Mariah's jaw she once again cannot eat. Ha ha! Not only does Yang barely feed her but on the day when everyone is allowed to pig out she can't even if she wanted to! It's great watching her stare enviously at everyone else's plate. If only I had a camera...
Oh yeah! And you know that the one turkey that Ten shot? Well according to Yang you're not supposed to eat it but out her her "generous" heart she cooked it and gave it to Dunga (Who's name I have confirmed), Steve and Rick. Isn't she sweet? Nothing else can go wrong. In fact I think that it can only get better.
"FOOD FIGHT!"
...Sigh. Forget it. Today is just not my day.
A/N: Well that's all folks. Thanksgiving is done! Did you like it? My first side-fic (is elated) Yay me! And it's ahead of the other holiday fics! Well JaNe and Domo Arigato to those who read and reviewed!