Sunday night
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
My dearest Jarrod,
I've been away from you for barely two hours, and I miss you already. Yet, I am also excited about the days to come. After a long, circuitous route, I feel I have finally found the task I was put here to do. I shall be having tête-à-têtes with each of my students over the next two days, so that I may find out each one's interests and talents, and so that I shall know best how to teach them. Mrs. Gregson has some trepidation about allowing the Nagle boys to attend the school here, but she is taking me at my word that I will be able to handle them. What an inspired idea of your mother's that was. But then, Victoria is brilliant, there is no doubt of it. I am sure you get your fine mind from her. I'm sending her a separate letter to thank her for all her many kindnesses. The two weeks I spent at the ranch with all of you have been the best of my life. You have made me feel happy and well and able to take up this welcome task.
Thank you for loving me as you do, to wish me well in this, even though it separates us for a time. I shall have to be content with weekly kisses instead of daily ones for a while, yet I think this will make me a better woman and all the more able to love you as you should be loved. You are a fine and rare man, Jarrod, and I love you with all my heart.
I send a kiss along with this letter - hold it for me until I see you again.
Your loving Feather
Monday
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
My dearest Feather,
I miss you as well, dear, but I am also happy you have found your calling at last. I would never deny you the chance to become your best self, and if that means that I, too, must be content with weekly kisses, well then, we must make those kisses all the sweeter. Have you yet decided whether you will spend your weekends at the ranch? My heart yearns for you to say, "yes," but I understand your desire to reside fully at the orphanage long enough to establish yourself there. It is, and will be for awhile, your home. Please do come spend Sunday with the family - we are not the same without you. We all miss you, myself most of all.
Audra sends her love, and promises to help you shop for new clothes with your first pay. Frankly, dear Molly, I think you are better able to choose what suits you than she is, as long as you stay my bright Molly. Never go dark again, Feather - it doesn't suit you.
Mother hopes you find the encyclopedia she sent you useful, and wishes you to send her a list of books you shall be wanting. Nick and Heath both send their love as well. And you know you have the love of your
Jarrod
Wednesday, October 6
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
Mister Barkley,
How dare you send me such a splendid birthday present and not be here when I receive it? The first flush of pleasure, joy, and gratitude which should have been yours will now have to arrive via this missive, second hand. Humph!
Really, Jarrod dear, it is a grand gift. So unlike what a beau is expected to give his belle, yet just exactly what you should give to me. I shall gaze upon the Pleiades and treasure each star more than a diamond.
This is the second time I have received a telescope for my birthday - my father gave me one when I was a girl of twelve. Not only have you given me a splendid gift, you have restored a pleasant memory. All the love and kindness you and your family have given me has not only brightened my future, it has returned to me my past - all those memories which had been buried in pain and loss are now treasures to be cherished.
Please forgive the beginning of this letter, love. I am only unhappy that I am unable to fully share my delight with you, but you have made this birthday a most happy one. I thank you, dearest. Your loving and grateful
Feather
Thursday
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
My dearest Molly,
I am so sorry if I have given you offense. I know the family will be giving you your gifts when we celebrate your birthday on Saturday, but I wanted you to have something on the day. The day you were born is precious to me - if I have erred, I pray you will forgive me.
I am glad you like the telescope - I remember the first time I drove you home and you showed me the heavens. That was the night I first began to love you, Feather, when you gazed upon the darkness of my soul and were moved to comfort me. I saw what a warm and womanly heart you have, and could not help but admire it.
I am also glad that your past has been restored to you, and that you think I had a part in that. If your girlhood was a happy one, then you should remember it so, no matter what came after.
You must bring the telescope with you when you come - you can show me the heavens again. I am eager to learn from you, Molly. You must teach me all that you know.
Until Saturday, I remain your loving
Jarrod
My dear Jarrod,
I shall not be able to come to you, Emily has scarlet fever. Please, you and your family must stay away - we are in quarantine.
Molly
My dearest Molly,
I am sending this letter down with Mother. She nursed Nick and me through scarlet fever when we were children - she will know what to do. We two also stand ready to help you in whatever way possible should the disease spread. Do not fear, Feather, we shall not desert you.
Jarrod
Tuesday, November 23rd
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
My dearest, darling, most-excellent Jarrod,
You Barkleys - always rushing into trouble instead of away from it; which is why I love all of you so much.
I do not know what we would have done here without you - I am certain we would have lost someone, Emily or John or perhaps more, without the care which you, Victoria, and Nick provided. Bless you all, dearest, bless you all.
I would have expected that you and Victoria would make excellent nurses, but Nick was a revelation. So strong, so gentle, always with a smile to cheer the sickest of patients, and a blithe willingness to perform even the most disgusting of tasks. All the boys wish to be him, and half the girls are in love with him (the other half are in love with you, my sweet, for your gentleness and charming compassion).
Bless Audra, too, for offering to take Emily and John to San Diego to complete their convalescence. The warm sea air should do them good and, we hope, stave off the dire consequences that scarlet fever so often produces. She is going to give up Christmas with your family, and I know what a generous gesture that is.
And let me not forget Heath and Mrs. Gregson - Heath for the thankless task of running the ranch, freeing the rest of you to help here, and Mrs. Gregson for taking care of the healthy children single-handed, and for her devotion to cleanliness, which I am convinced prevented the further spread of this terrible disease - only eight of seventeen sick, and only two seriously. It almost seems a miracle.
Again, dearest, bless you. Bless you all.
Feather
Wednesday
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
My dearest, darling, most excellent Molly,
While you are heaping accolades, my love, pray do not forget yourself. Your devotion and calm serenity stilled many a fevered child. I see the manner in which those children trust you, and it makes me proud that you are my Molly.
I could almost feel jealousy, Feather, of your lavish praise of my brother, did I not agree with you. Few outside the family recognize Nick's worth - I am glad that you do. There is no one I would rather have at my back than Nick, no one I would rather have at my side than you.
I am going to insist that you spend your weekends with us, and your entire Christmas holiday. If your pupils need a break from you, you certainly need a break from them. You are far too pale and wan, my love. Come to us and let us restore you.
We shall travel down to San Diego and see Audra. Would not the warm sea air do you good as well? And we shall cuddle under the mistletoe as much as Mother will allow, and when she is not looking. Do agree, Feather. Do.
Until then, I will always be your faithful and loving
Jarrod
My dearest Jarrod,
Yes, I shall do all you ask - I shall come for Christmas, I shall go to the sea with you, and I shall cuddle under the mistletoe as much as you like - if you will agree to do so as much as I like. You also look pale and wan, my love. Let us restore one another.
Feather
New Year's Day
The Waves
San Diego
My dearest Jarrod,
I wonder how much good the warm sea air is doing me - I feel well, but so languid. All I wish to do is lie on the chaise longue and think of you. Not that I begrudge you the compassion and sense of duty that sent you back to Stockton - the qualities that I most love in you - but I do miss you and wish you with me.
Emily and John look so well, I do not think it can be many weeks before they can return home. Audra's care of them is very sweet to see, and seems to have done her much good as well. I think such responsibility has been good for her - she seems much more a woman and much less a girl.
Well, dear, the tide is out and Emily and John wish me to take them to explore the tide pools - so many creatures I have never seen before, so much I do not know. I am quite fascinated - I wish I had a book or someone to teach me more. There is so much beauty in the world that I do not begin to understand.
Oh, Jarrod, before I go, I must tell you that I think I am beginning to believe in God. I look at that place in my soul, and there is a spark there - not a flame, yet, but perhaps in time. Something to warm myself with, if not yet enough to warm another.
Until I see you again, I enclose a kiss and am your most loving
Feather
January 4
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
My dearest Molly,
Oh, my dearest, I am so glad of your belief. You already warm me, and all those around you, never doubt it. You love so well, it is well that you should feel loved in return.
I am so sorry that I had to part from you - I had so looked forward to enjoying this holiday with you - but I take joy in your understanding. You shall need it when we are married, my love.
Ah, did I just write that? It seems that my heart has taken the lead over my head. Well, I shall not toss it away, because it is the truth. I do mean to marry you, but I had not meant to declare myself just yet. Do not consider this a proposal, Feather - that I shall do properly when I see you again. Perhaps you should consider it a warning, dearest.
I am so glad that Audra is doing as well as you say. We have often wondered when she should find her calling. None of us have wanted to press her, for a calling cannot be forced, but her lack of responsibility has worried us. Once awakened, who can say where this shall lead, but it seems to me that it can only lead to good. Do not doubt that it was your good example that has led her thus far - your good opinion carries more weight with our Audra than you know.
I shall post this letter with pounding heart, for, more than any other I have sent, my full heart goes with this.
Your ever faithful
Jarrod
Monday, January 17
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
My dearest fiancé,
What pleasure it gives me to write that word, and to say it. I believe I shall write it again - fiancé. I shall treasure it until the day I replace it with a better.
The ring is much admired, although I must turn it under when I am teaching - otherwise I spend all my time gazing upon it, and get nothing done. How kind of Victoria to give it to you for me - the history just makes it all the more precious.
It took some arguing to convince Mrs. Gregson that I intend to continue teaching after we are married. In her eyes, I am marrying the eldest scion of the wealthiest, most powerful family in the Valley - why would I continue to work? You and I understand that this is not so for me - I am not marrying wealth and power, I am marrying my Jarrod, who respects my conscience and my heart. In whose eyes I most fully become myself.
I shall see you soon, dearest, every weekend. We have so much to plan and dream. I shall cherish every day that I am
Your fiancée, Feather
Tuesday
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
My dearest fiancée,
I, too, delight in that sobriquet, until the day I also replace it with another.
How I wish that I too, had some token of our engagement to gaze upon. Not that I have trouble calling you to mind, sweetest, but sometimes this seems so like a pleasant dream, I would love to have something tangible. As to the ring, Mother had always intended it for the first of her children to marry - how fortunate for me that God blew you to me, Feather.
Of course I wish for you to continue teaching, love - did we not decide that the night we began courting? If it is a scandal to others, well, it is a good scandal. Always follow your conscience, Feather. You have a good one, one I greatly admire.
I will see you soon, dearest. I know no one I would rather plan and dream with than you, for the rest of my life.
Your loving fiancé,
Jarrod
P.S. Consider where you would like to spend our honeymoon, dearest.
Wednesday
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
My dearest fiancé,
Here is your token - I had it painted while I was in San Diego with Audra. I had meant to give it you for your birthday next month, but it is more appropriate now. I think it is a good likeness - I hope you do as well.
Ah, the honeymoon. Dare I say that I blush at the mere thought. I dream so of being in your arms as your wife, that where matters not, only when. San Francisco? We could visit the theater, and take in the concerts. Does that meet with your approval, dearest?
I am trying to put together my guest list for the wedding, and I dare say you shall consider it an odd assortment. I would like to invite the people who helped me when I was in trouble last year - Annie, Mrs. Ephraim and some of her boarders who were kind to me then. I would also like to invite Dick Shalot and the men I taught in the lumber camp, if we can find them, and the members of my theater troupe. So the bride's side shall consist of actors, lumbermen and working women. What shall the high-lights of Stockton say to that? But I refuse to be ashamed of such good people, no matter what social stratus I may be about to enter.
If I can find them - perhaps Nick will help me find my lumberjacks? I believe Bill Davis, the director of my troupe, is in San Francisco. At least, he was the last I heard of him.
I would also like to invite my pupils to the wedding breakfast, unorthodox as that may be. I only wish to be surrounded by those who have meant so much to me, on the happiest day of my life.
And it will be happiest day of my life, when I become your wife and cease to be
Your loving fiancée, Feather
Thursday
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
My dearest fiancée,
What a charming miniature! It is such a good likeness - the artist has captured both your warmth and your humor, no small task for a portrait so small. Does he also do full size portraits, do you know? Perhaps he would be willing to paint our wedding portrait. Do let me know his name and I shall write to him. In the meantime, I wear your likeness on a ribbon next my heart.
San Francisco? No, dearest, you think too small. I would suggest the south of France for our honeymoon. With the railroad and steamships, we can be there in less than three weeks. We have three months until we need to be back for your school - let us take advantage of the time. Would you not like to use that charming French of yours as it was intended to be used? Do think it over, Feather.
Perhaps you and Mother should go to San Francisco this weekend to seek out your Bill Davis. My trial is coming on Monday, so I should be poor company for you. You can shop for your trousseau as well. And I am certain Nick would be happy to help you find your lumberjacks.
Do not fear Stockton's censure of your guest list. My intended Best Man, Brett, is a convicted felon - who also happens to be guilty - so I doubt any wagging tongues would even bother with a few actors and working women. We both wish the people who have been important to us to be near us at this time. I, for one, do not care for any opinions save yours and my family's.
Of course, invite your pupils to the breakfast. Invite them to the wedding, if you wish. It is our day, after all.
I, too, look forward with great eagerness to the day you become my wife. Until then, I shall remain
Your loving fiancé,
Jarrod
Reunion in San Francisco
"I've never entered a theater through the stage door," Victoria said. "How thrilling."
Molly laughed as she held the door open. "I don't think I've gone in any other way. Now backstage is that way, but it sounds like they're rehearsing, which means Bill is probably in the audience. He likes to direct from there." Molly opened the door and allowed Victoria to precede her.
"That's better," the tall, curly haired man in the front row said, "but let's take it again from line sixty three." He turned when he heard the door open. "I'm sorry, ladies," he said, "we're not open yet, but if you'd care for tickets to tonight's performance, I'd be happy to oblige you."
"Speak that trippingly on the tongue, Bill," Molly said.
"Who is. . . ? Molly? Moll, my girl," he said, running two steps then hugging her so hard her feet left the floor. "What brings you here?" He set her down and held both her hands. "Aren't you quite the lady, I wouldn't have recognized you! Mick," he said over his shoulder, "would you take over the rehearsal?"
"You have an A.D?" Molly said. "My, you have come up in the world."
"As have you, Moll, to all appearances. Where have you been keeping yourself? We've all missed you."
"Do you know where everyone is? I'm getting married in Stockton in June and I want to invite the old company. Oh, forgive me, Victoria. May I present my old friend, Mr. William Davis? Mrs. Victoria Barkley, my future mother-in-law."
"I'm very pleased to meet you," Victoria said, smiling.
"Barkley?" Bill asked. "Molly, you're not marrying one of the Stockton Barkleys?"
"Indeed, I am," Molly grinned.
Bill shook his head, amazed. "Forgive my manners, Mrs. Barkley," he said, bowing over her hand, "but this all comes as quite a surprise."
"Think nothing of it," Victoria said. "Perhaps you'd allow me to wander around this lovely old theater while you and Molly bring yourselves up to date?"
"As you wish, Mrs. Barkley," Bill said. He sat Molly down in a theater seat, and sat beside her. "Now, Moll, which of the handsome Barkley brothers could you be about to marry?" He held up an admonishing finger as she opened her mouth to answer. "Let me read your mind." Molly chuckled. Bill looked into her eyes. "Let's see. Someone tall, dark. A crusader. A passion for justice. That would have to be Mr. Jarrod Barkley."
"Boy, you're good," Molly said. "You and Victoria could team up and take that show on the road."
"Ah, Moll, do you think that after all those late night suppers I don't know your heart? You'd have to have someone who wants to make the world better, wouldn't you? I don't have to ask if you love him - you're positively glowing - but does he love you?"
"No," Molly said, "he's marrying me for my money."
"I just want to be sure he'll be good to you, Moll."
"He is, Bill. He's tender, and sweet, and kind and compassionate. And brilliant, and witty, and. . . ."
"Stop, Moll. If you're going to enumerate all his virtues, I can see we'll be here all night."
Molly laughed. "So may I ask you a favor, Bill?"
"Anything, Moll, you know that."
"You know that my family was killed in the war, so I have no one to give me away. Would you do me that honor?"
Bill gasped. "Ah, Molly, you do me too much honor. What would your new grand relations think of that, an old Pantaloon like me?"
"They already know, and they think it's fine. They're not like you're imagining them, Bill, really. They just want Jarrod and me to be happy."
"Then I'd be honored, Molly." Bill pulled a bandana out of his pocket and wiped his eyes.
"Do you know where the rest of the troupe is?"
"Well, Stella is home nursing a cold, right now."
"You two haven't gotten married, finally?"
"Aye, about a year ago," Bill said.
Molly whooped and hugged him. "Oh, hurray! I want Stella for an attendant, so this is perfect."
"I believe she's kept in touch with everyone - let me have your address and I'll see that she writes you."
"Could both of you have dinner with us tonight?" Molly asked.
"Now, Moll, you know we never dine before a performance."
"Supper, then. After the show."
"Aye, I think Stella will be well enough for that. I don't think wild horses will keep her away when I tell her. I'll leave your name at the door for tonight's performance if you care to attend."
"We'd be delighted, Bill." Molly hugged him. "I'll let you get back to your rehearsal. We'll see you tonight."
Bill kissed her. "Every happiness, Moll. You deserve it."
"I really like your friends," Victoria said the next day on the train back to Stockton.
"I'm glad," Molly said. "They like you, too, once they got over the idea you were some kind of duchess."
"You know, Molly, just when I think you can't seem any happier, you surprise me."
"Well, not only does my future seem blindingly bright, but it seems all the pieces of my past are beginning to stitch themselves together."
"Good, Molly," Victoria said. "You should be whole."
"I'm becoming so, I think. I hope. I'd certainly like to give Jarrod a whole woman for a bride."
"Ah, Molly, marriage would be a big bore if both of you were perfect," Victoria said.
Molly laughed. "It's still months away, and I don't know how I'm ever going to be ready - the dress especially. I want to spend what free time I have with Jarrod, but I need to find time for sewing, too."
"There are dressmakers, Molly. You don't have to do everything yourself."
"Oh, but I want to. I'll just have to find time, somehow."
"Don't tire yourself. You want to have energy for that honeymoon, don't you?"
"Victoria! Really!" Molly blushed, then laughed. "Ah, yes, well, I do. Did Jarrod tell you he wants to take me to France?"
"No, he didn't, but what a lovely idea."
"I'm not so sure," Molly said.
"What's bothering you, Molly? Don't you want to go?"
Molly frowned. "I'm not marrying him for his money."
"No," Victoria said, "but he has money, nonetheless."
"And I need to accustom myself to that?"
"Sooner or later. Sooner would be better. You know, Jarrod is not at all extravagant. He dresses well, as befits his profession, but that's the only thing he really spends money on. You might consider if he has a practical reason."
"What practical reason could there be for going to France?" Molly asked.
"Well, he's not licensed to practice law there," Victoria observed.
"Ah," Molly said, "if I want my husband to myself, I'm going to have to get him out of the country?"
"You know Jarrod. What do you think?"
"I think - I think we're going to France for our honeymoon," Molly said.
Victoria looked out the window and smiled.
Monday, January 24
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
My dearest fiancé,
Yes, my dear, I shall go to France with you for our honeymoon. How could I refuse such a charming, romantic gesture? Not to mention the assurance that such a journey will guarantee that I shall have you all to myself. So I shall accept your grand design with much pleasure.
The miniature was painted by a most interesting woman who had a stall in the San Diego market. She was once an escaped slave, by name of Marguerite Dumas, and has no formal training. I was attracted by the vibrancy of her work. I do not have an address for her - perhaps I should write to Audra and ask her to seek Miss Dumas out.
Victoria and I had little difficulty finding Bill and Stella, his wife. I have asked Bill to give me away, and Stella to be an attendant. I shall also ask Annie and Audra. So you shall have Brett, Nick, and Heath, and our wedding party is complete. When shall I meet Brett? He sounds a fascinating character. Perhaps we should have a dinner party for the wedding participants - what do you think? I should love for you to meet Bill and Stella before the wedding.
I wish you a speedy trial, my love, so that I may have you to myself for a while. Until then, I shall remain your loving fiancée,
Feather
Tuesday
Cattlemen's Hotel
Stockton
My dearest fiancée,
I am so glad you wish to go to France - I admit I rather had my heart set on it. For entirely selfish reasons, I admit - that I might have you to myself without interruption. We shall feast on wine and brioche and shall stroll along the sand together. What could be sweeter?
Your artist sounds a most interesting woman. I shall certainly write Audra and ask her to present our commission. Would you be pleased to wear your motley for the portrait? It has such pleasant associations for me, and I think the vibrancy of your dress shall suit your artist's style.
We should have an engagement party sometime this spring. Although I am sure most of Stockton shall know of it before then, it is still a charming custom. And yes, we should have a dinner for the bridal party, and soon. Will your Bill and Stella be able to come to Stockton? I know that theater people have such different schedules. Do write and ask them when they can come. I am eager for you to meet Brett. He is a charming, albeit well-reformed, rogue. I think you will like him.
The trial proceeds apace, but I do not hope that it will be wrapped up this week. I shall need to work on Saturday, but I shall escort you to Church on Sunday, and pray that you shall spend the day at the ranch. Next week is the ball at the Coopers', Shall we make our first public appearance as an engaged couple? Be sure to wear your ring right-side out, love. Until then, I am your loving fiancé,
Jarrod
Wednesday, February 9
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
Miss Holt,
Is this tit for tat, love? I, too, must send my delight in the beautiful, and highly appropriate, gift you sent for my birthday by letter. Where did you acquire them, Feather? I have not seen such exquisite fishing flies in San Francisco, much less Stockton. Or did you, as I suspect, tie them yourself?
I do not know when I shall use them - I hardly like to waste whatever free time I might have by being away from you. You would not want to come fishing with me, would you, dearest?
Mother has had a letter from Audra - the doctor has given permission for Emily and John to return to Stockton with the onset of warmer weather. We are hoping for an early spring - we all miss her so much, and from the tone of her letters she seems much changed. I fear we shall hardly know her - but I am sure that however mature Audra becomes, she will retain her spirit and headstrong ways. May she find a way to put them to good use.
So we shall have to further postpone the wedding participants' dinner until she returns, but Brett is coming this weekend to help celebrate my birthday. I look forward to your meeting.
With much love, your fiancé,
Jarrod
Thursday
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
My dearest fiancé,
Of course you shall go fishing, my love, and by yourself. Every lover dreads to part from his beloved, but every husband delights to. Really, sweetest, if you think you shall have no need for 'not-thinking,' then you must think that I shall make you stupid. No, love, you shall still have a need for occasional solitude, delightful as I expect our coming together shall be.
I am glad you find the flies beautiful - yes, I did tie them myself. I used to tie all my father's flies for him - he said he caught more fish with my flies than with any other. I hope you have the same success with them. I shall even promise to clean all that you catch.
I am glad you have heard from Audra. I, too, shall pray for an early spring. I have missed her - I never had a sister, and I delight in Audra's feminine spirits. I look forward to seeing what she becomes.
Oh, good, I am so delighted to be meeting Brett at last. How amusing that you number felons among your friends, yet - you have such a gift for aiding people to become their best selves, my dearest - not at all surprising. I am certain of a most charming and delightful weekend.
Until I see you, my sweet, I remain your loving fiancée,
Feather
Monday, February 14
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
My dearest fiancé.
Oh, dear, my cheeks hurt from smiling. I do not believe that I have ever laughed so heartily in my life! Your Brett is quite the raconteur - he even makes prison seem amusing. I cannot believe that all his stories are true, but he is certainly entertaining. Perhaps he belongs on the stage, or the lecture circuit. Or a novelist. I could see him doing any of those things.
It was good to hear you laugh so heartily yourself, my love. For although you have an ironic and humorous outlook, I do not think I have heard you laugh full-out more than five times since I have known you. I am glad Brett is your friend - you should have more such.
Would it be possible for us to go to San Francisco this weekend? I have had a letter from Stella - their show closes at the end of this month. I would like to take you to see it, as Stella is an inspired Shrew, and they are not sure where they will be next, as it depends on whether they can get backing for their next show. I would so love you to meet them, and soon. Will it be possible?
I think I feel a stir of warmth in the air, but I fear it is merely a wish - I do miss Audra, and Emily and John. So many empty spaces to fill.
Until I see you again, my love, I remain your loving fiancée,
Feather
Tuesday
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
My dearest fiancée,
Do I not laugh enough to suit you, my love? I shall have to try to remedy that. You certainly give me great joy, and are often amusing as well, my sweet - I should make an outward expression of that. Or perhaps I take such pleasure from your laughter - and you do have a most engaging laugh, love - that I neglect to laugh myself. I shall try to do better.
I am glad you like Brett - we have been through so much together, both good and ill, that in many ways he is even closer to me than my brothers. How sweet and womanly of you not to hold his past against him. I don't know how I would acquire more such as he - I feel fortunate to have even one such.
I do not know what Brett will do now that he has served his time. He once wanted to be a lawyer, and I still think that he would make an excellent one, if we can get him restored to the Bar. What a criminal lawyer he would make! Alas, he refuses to partner with me, though I have offered. He says it would put too much strain on our friendship, but I wonder if he truly has a passion for it, or whether it is something that only I wish for. Novelist, now, I never thought of that. Perhaps you should make your suggestions to him when next we see him.
Yes, I believe that I can get away to San Francisco this weekend. Shall we take Mother, or go alone? The social forms are not so rigid for us, since we have both been widowed, but still - let us be somewhat daring and go just ourselves, Feather. There are always so many people in this house, I never seem to get you to myself. What say you, Molly? Will you go to San Francisco with just your loving
Jarrod?
My dearest Jarrod,
Of course we shall go to San Francisco alone - I never intended anything else. I, too, long to have you to myself for a while, daring or not. I shall look forward to it eagerly.
Your loving
Molly
Monday, February 21
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
My dearest, darling fiancé,
Oh, my Jarrod, you were right - we do need to be alone more often. I had almost forgotten the heat of your kiss, the tenderness of your caress. I could wish that we were man and wife already, that I might enjoy the fullness of your embrace.
Am I immodest, my love? But then, I am no maiden. Ah, but Henry never made my heart beat like thunder, as you do. Perhaps he was too old, or I too young. Or, well as I loved him, he was not the other half of my heart, as you are, dearest Jarrod. I long for the day when we are one, body and soul.
And once wife, perhaps mother? I fear I am too old, yet I would like to bear your children - a fine son, to carry on your name and your strength and courage; a lovely daughter, to cherish and to love. Oh, dear, I have spoiled the paper. Well, all shall be as it shall be. I can but hope.
I am as ever, your most loving and devoted,
Feather
Tuesday
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
Via hand
Dearest Molly,
I hardly know how to respond to your most touching and tear-stained letter. But a letter is inadequate - I shall stop by the orphanage this afternoon after your class and we shall talk together. If you are ill-prepared for your pupils tomorrow as a result, so be it. I shall be there for you, dearest.
Jarrod
Tuesday, March 8
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
Dearest Jarrod,
Now, who should I meet on my way to the dressmaker's this afternoon but Stella and Bill! It seems they have received backing to do repertory in Stockton from none other than Victoria! Why did no one tell me? I admit that I feel rather peeved, although certainly happy - no, overjoyed - to have them here, along with most of the old troupe, but still! I feel slighted. Forgive me if I refrain from my usual outpouring of sentiment, Jarrod. What is going on over there?
Molly
Wednesday
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
My dearest fiancée,
I have spoken to Mother - believe me, dearest Feather, no slight was intended. She had meant to surprise you when you came this weekend, but your chance encounter has rather spoiled that. I had told her of their situation when we went up to San Francisco, and she saw an opportunity to both bring some culture to Stockton and to bring you pleasure. Please do not take it ill, Feather, it was kindly meant. Stella and Bill will be joining us for dinner on Saturday - I know you will enjoy that. Do not be angry with us, Molly - we all love you so.
I enclose a kiss for you to carry until Saturday.
Your loving fiancé,
Jarrod
Dearest Jarrod,
I am sorry, dearest. I should have known. I shall apologize to Victoria when I see her, as well. I look forward to Saturday and kissing you in earnest, love.
Your loving and contrite fiancée,
Feather
Monday, March 14
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
My dearest fiancée,
Great news, dearest! Mother has had a letter from Audra and she is bringing Emily and John home next week. I know how you have missed your pupils, and both of us my sister. Emily and John send along their greetings and wish us to tell you that they have missed you, but have endeavored to keep up their studies over the past months. I am sure, if they have fallen behind, that you will be able to bring them up to the bar in short order.
They will be arriving Thursday week - would you like to give your pupils a holiday and bring them to the ranch on the Friday for a homecoming celebration? Nick wishes to kill the fatted calf - literally - and have a Barbeque. I think he misses the children since he no longer nurses them. Be sure to invite Mrs. Gregson as well.
So with the entire wedding party in Stockton - except for Brett - perhaps we should start planning that dinner party we have so often discussed? Shall I write to Brett and see when he may come?
Audra also sends word that she has found your artist, Miss Dumas, and has engaged her to come paint our wedding portrait. So much is falling into place. If we are to wed the first of June - and it is your prerogative to set the date, love - then we should have the banns read out the first of May. The time seems so long when I am alone - especially at night, dearest - but so short when I consider what remains to be done. Are your preparations in order, Feather? Do not hesitate to ask for help if you need it - we consider ourselves your family already. Do not allow etiquette to dictate that you do everything yourself just because you have no living relatives. Mother and, I am sure, Audra especially would be delighted to aid you.
In delightful anticipation, I remain your loving fiancé,
Jarrod
Tuesday
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
My dearest Jarrod,
Have I not set the date yet? By all means, the first of June, as soon as possible following the end of school. I have been counting on your mother's help - I shall sit down and talk with her this weekend concerning what remains to be done and request her aid.
I am so glad Audra is returning, and bringing my pupils back to me. We have all missed them so. I certainly shall accept your kind invitation on behalf of my pupils - we should be delighted to attend a homecoming Barbeque. What a charming idea of Nick's. We shall have such fun, I am sure.
Yes, do see when Brett may come - although I am sure a mid-week dinner will best suit Stella and Bill. Their repertory opens on Friday with Much Ado About Nothing. Would you like to attend the opening night cast party? We are invited - I think you shall enjoy it, and I would love to introduce you to the rest of the company so that they may envy me my good fortune. I do hope you say yes - I rather have my heart set on it.
I, too, count the days too short and the nights too long until I am your bride, dearest Jarrod. Until then I remain your ever faithful and loving fiancée,
Feather
My darling Feather,
I should be delighted to attend the cast party, although I believe that if anyone is to be envied, it is I. I am sure that your friends, who have loved you so long, will agree with me. I shall take you to dinner beforehand, Feather. It is sure to be a most charming evening.
Until then, remember how much I love you,
Jarrod
Tuesday, March 29
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
My dearest fiancé,
Enclosed please find the thank-yous of all my grateful pupils. Please be sure that all your family sees them, especially the drawing that Timmy made of Nick. It is quite charming. We all had such fun at the Barbeque, but most of all we are glad to have our loved ones home.
I knew that I missed Audra, but I had no idea how much. I am quite pleasantly tired this week, as we could hardly sleep for talking late into each night. I hope she will share some of those secrets with the family, but I will say no more. I am pleased - I hope you shall be also.
She has done such an excellent job with Emily and John - they are not behind at all. To the contrary, they are both so much more knowledgeable than I could expect - all the time they spent out in Nature has made them both more inquisitive and more observant. I only hope they do not find my lessons too dull. Perhaps, with the warmer weather, all of us will spend more time out-of-doors in God's Creation. It can only do us good.
Victoria has been very helpful regarding the wedding plans - she is such a sensible woman and has a way of cutting to the heart of things and making them so much simpler. Has she given you your list of things to do yet, dearest?
So Brett is coming and we shall have the dinner party on the 6th, and Marguerite is coming to paint the portrait on the 9th. Is that enough time? I have never had my portrait painted before - I have no idea what is needed, but I feel great anticipation. The days draw on apace, my love, but never soon enough until I am your bride. Until then I am as ever your
Feather
Wednesday
Barkley Ranch
Stockton
My dearest Feather,
Thank you for passing along your pupils' notes - they have given us much pleasure, particularly the picture of Nick. We never knew he was so tall, or had so many arms. Mother wishes to have it framed and hung in the front hall, but Nick is protesting.
I am sorry you are fatigued, my dear, but glad of the reason. It is delightful to see you and Audra as sisters, a lack in both of you up until now. If by her secrets, you mean has she shown us her notebook and her microscope, then yes, she has. Audra has always had a talent for drawing, and her drawings of San Diego's little sea creatures are exquisite, but I am much more impressed by the thoroughness of her recorded observations. It seems our Audra has finally found her passion, and it is Natural History. We are discussing how best to further her education - college or private tuition, but it is an exciting time for all of us. We are only sad that it means she shall leave us, but that would have happened eventually at any rate.
Yes, Mother has given me my list, but it is not onerous. I am glad she was able to lighten your load, dearest. Our wedding should be a joy and a pleasure, not a burden to be endured.
Yes, Brett will be here, and all our other guests, for the dinner party next Wednesday. Miss Dumas assures me she has plenty of time to have the portrait finished before the wedding, so do not fear, Feather. Even if all our other plans should fail, we shall still be wed on June first, and that is all that matters. Until then, I am ever your loving fiancé,
Jarrod
Thursday, April 7
San Joaquin Home
Stockton
My dearest Jarrod,
Oh, my head! I seem to have imbibed too much wine at the dinner party. I am afraid I was of no use today as a teacher, but the fine weather allowed me an excuse to have a field day. Emily and John are so knowledgeable of Natural History, and so patient with the little ones, that they left me little to do, for which I am grateful. Do you have any need for tadpoles? The children have collected an abundance.
How much I learned last night - I never knew how large a role Annie had played in our meeting. Would you really not have seen me that day without her intercession? How odd that feels to me now - that our future lives and happiness were decided by one small kind act. It almost makes me believe in a loving God.
And Brett a secret playwright - did you know that before Bill got it out of him? Did I not tell you he was the creative type? I am sure Bill and Stella will be most happy to help him develop that talent - they are excellent mentors.
I am sorry we shall be out of the country for Annie's wedding this summer. We must find her an excellent wedding present while we are in France. I am very happy for her - Keith is an excellent young man. He reminds me rather of Nick - boisterous and gentle all at once. But, alas, you shall have to find a new secretary. Well, time enough to deal with that once we return.
I shall not expect a reply, dearest, since I shall see you tomorrow night, and then Marguerite arrives on Saturday. I am so excited, even though right now my head hurts like blazes.
Until then, I remain your loving
Feather