A/N: I know, this is so cruel to Edward and more than a little awkward. Actually, I wonder if anyone threw up while reading this. I'm glad I don't own the Twilight series when it comes to this…. Please, no hate mail.
Edward's POV: I snuck out to where the cars of all of my family members were parked with various cans of spray paint and a sledge-hammer. I felt a little bad about what I was about to do, but that wasn't going to stop me. They were all out hunting, so I was safe.
I quickly pulled out a bright shade of pink spray paint and turned on Emmet's beloved Jeep. I laughed under my breath and quickly gave it the worst possible paint job. I did the same to all of the others; Rosalie's car was purple and hot pink, Alice's car was black, and Carlisle's car was diarrhea green.
I then took the sledge-hammer to all of them. They all looked like they belonged in a landfill when I was done. I smiled to myself while I evaluated my work.
"WHAT DID YOU DO!!" I heard my family all scream in unison from behind me. I spun around, grinning widely.
"What? I just gave them a little makeover. Don't you like it?"
"NO!!" They screamed in unison again.
I faked a devastated expression. "Oh no!"
"YOU WILL PAY EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!!" Rosalie screamed. She pictured various gruesome ways of killing me in her mind. I chuckled.
Alice shut her eyes, quickly blocking her thoughts. So did the rest of the family. She opened her eyes a few moments later and smiled devilishly at me. I narrowed my eyes and backed away, a little scared.
"Oh, he'll pay," she snickered.
"Um, guys… it was just a joke. No need to do anything rash," I said nervously as they all circled me. Emmet tackled me to the ground, and Alice danced up with a bunch of steel chains, enough that even I wouldn't be able to escape them.
When I was chained to the ground, they walked into the forest to discuss something. They went far enough that I couldn't hear their thoughts. Up until then, they blocked their thoughts. I struggled to free myself.
They finally came back, all of them smiling evilly. Emmet shook with silent laughter.
"What's going on?" I asked, my voice shaking a little.
"We know a little trick vampires can use on other vampires. Congratulations. You'll be the first recorded victim of it."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to get something from their minds. They all continued to block me.
"I'm sorry, Edward. I know you didn't do anything to me, but you hurt Alice's car, so I should punish you along with her. Out of loyalty, you know. Esme feels the same way."
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??" I screamed.
"I'm sorry, Edward. I really am. Even you probably don't deserve this kind of torture," Jasper sighed.
I didn't respond. Instead, I focused on trying to escape my bonds. The attempts were futile. The whole family surrounded me. Their eyes were intense. I somehow knew that what was about to happen was something that I'd regret for the rest of my existence.
I lost consciousness.
When I woke up, I felt odd. And not just a little. I'd never felt the way I did then before.
"What happened?" I groaned. I froze. My voice… it was… feminine. I was a girl. I WAS GOING TO KILL THEM!!