Continuing the Story

This tale is brought to you courtesy of prompt overlord Lou (inkycoffee) - plus some encouragement from Lindsey (ipreferwestside) and others on Twitter

Prompt: What if Castle's last case had really been Headhunters and Always never happened?

Standing beside a life-sized cardboard cutout of his own image, Richard Castle gazed across the celebration taking place in the midtown bookstore organized by Black Pawn. It was far from the first book party he'd participated in and hoped it would not be his last, but it was far and above the one he was the saddest to attend. His heart just wasn't in it; he wanted desperately to move on so that the sewn-up fissures would heal over and stop breaking open and hopefully after that night he could.

The last time he was in this position, he was looking forward to starting anew. Derrick Storm was a good character who had simply run his course. His creator felt he had done all he could and he was ready to find a new muse, write a new story. Nikki Heat was a different situation entirely.

If he was being honest with himself, Castle never really thought about the end of Nikki Heat once his publisher gave him the order for more books. He and her alter-ego made a great team and he saw no end in sight to his inspiration and thus to Nikki's adventures. Six months earlier all that had changed abruptly as he stood in the observation room at the Twelfth precinct.

Kate Beckett, his partner, had lied to him and that lie was one of epic proportions. He would have never expected her to be openly cruel and thus he could only assume her lie had been one to protect his feelings and to save herself from an awkward conversation during which she told him that no, she was not interested in being intimate with him and all they would ever be was partners.

Even six months later Castle didn't understand how he had misread their partnership so severely. Hell, he wasn't sure he'd understand it in six years. They had grown so close. They had conversations—veiled ones—but conversations that implied…he thought…well, what did it matter now? It was all over—for good.

Almost six months earlier he'd walked away and she hadn't stopped him. Yes, she looked confused and a little bit hurt when his answer as to why he was abruptly ending their partnership was only a vague, "It just feels like the right time," but he could not bring himself to tell her the truth. What was the point seeing as she had not been honest with him? Besides, the wound was still too raw to tear open again with a conversation that would only tell him what he already knew: he had been wrong about them; they weren't meant to be.

Though at the time Heat Rises had been nearly done, he spent the next two days reworking the ending so that Jameson Rook ended his partnership—and romantic relationship—with Nikki Heat. Castle briefly considered having Heat take a bullet and die like Storm had, but given what had happened to Kate's mother, the writer felt such a fate would be too cruel. He was upset with her in that moment, but he knew he was reacting emotionally. Once he gained distance from her, he knew that anger and bitterness would lessen. Just because she didn't want an intimate relationship with him that did not mean that Kate Beckett was any less of an extraordinary person—and she always would be.

Instead, Castle chose a conclusive if not slightly sad ending for his two characters. Rook went off on an exciting assignment in Asia, and rather than maintain a long-distance relationship, he ended things with Heat telling her that maybe they could look each other up again once he was back the following year. Ever the strong survivor, the fictional detective threw herself into her work and focused even more intently on making the city a safer place. In his still still-raw state it was the best ending he could give her. After all: it was what he wished for her real-life counterpart.

Castle knew the exact moment when Gina read his submitted first draft, because she called him and asked if he'd lost his mind. He told her conclusively that he was sane enough and ready to move on from yet another best-selling character. As expected, she threw a few choice words in his direction, but he was too numb to care. He had dedicated nearly three years of his life to Kate Beckett and though he would not regret that time as she had taught him many things, he truly needed to move on.

In the months following Castle had watched his daughter graduate high school, taken her on a whirlwind tour of Europe in celebration, and then gone on a soul searching trip himself, trying to find inspiration for another book. So far, nothing concrete had struck him, but he was still working on it. He had only arrived back in the city a few weeks before the release party and, save a few text messages from Detective Ryan, had not contacted anyone from the Twelfth since the day he walked out and never looked back.

"You sure you're okay Dad?"

"Hmm? Oh, I'm fine Pumpkin." Castle smiled at his little girl who wasn't so little any more as she had started college not a month earlier. Thankfully, it was in the city, so he was still able to see her with relative frequency, but she was living in the dorms not at home, making the loft feel as empty as ever.

She tilted her head to the side, obviously concerned. "You sure? I've never seen you this quiet at a party before."

"I promise; I'm fine."

She nodded though tentatively. "Well, the detectives just got here, so that should make you feel better, right?"

"Detec…what?" His brow furrowed as he craned his neck to look over the sea of partygoers towards the shop entrance. Much to his utter shock, he spotted Ryan, Esposito, and Beckett hovering just inside the door. Shit—what were they doing here? "I, ah, hold on a second, sweetie."

Momentarily ignoring his daughter, Castle made a b-line for Paula, who hovered near the front of the store adjusting a display of Heat Rises novels that must have seemed imperfect in her eyes. Gripping her by the crook of her elbow, Castle pulled her to the side and hissed, "You invited the detectives? Why?"

"Uh…because they've been invited to every other Nikki Heat release party—why wouldn't I use the same guest list?" she responded in a tone that was clearly annoyed and slighted. "That's not a problem, is it Rick?"

"Ah…no. No." He quickly cleared his throat and straightened his jacket. No, of course he could interact with Ryan and Esposito if he had to. Honestly, he was a little surprised they came seeing as he hadn't been the most considerate friend over the prior few months. Beckett, on the other hand, he was surprised to see as he had not received so much as a text message from her since the day he walked out of the precinct—not that the minded; it was easier that way.

"Good." Paula reached out and adjusted the collar on his shirt before returning to the table and continuing her rearrangement of the display.

Turning his head back to the entrance, Castle saw that the trio of detectives now each held a book in their hands. He watched as Beckett flipped hers open and flipped over the first two pages and her eyes skimmed across the page and—shit. The dedication.

Unlike the other Heat books, this did not specifically call her out by name, which was something he had done purposely. As he was still a bit singed by her actions at the time the dedication was required, he had simply chosen to thank all of the Twelfth for putting up with him, his antics, and his endless inquires over the years meaning the dedication was not only impersonal, but also rather final.

Castle watched as Beckett shut the book, tucked it to the crook of her arm and then gazed across the crowd until—oh. Damn. His heart still did that fluttering thing when their eyes met even if he wished it didn't. She nodded to him, leaned over towards Ryan and Esposito, spoke a few words, and then began making her way through the crowd in his direction. Great.

Taking a minute to collect himself, Castle sucked in a deep breath and pulled at the edges of his blazer. He could do this—he could absolutely do this. He could have a basic conversation with Kate Beckett without wanting her or without getting angry with her. They could be acquaintances…couldn't they?

"Castle. Hi."

He nodded in response to her greeting, making sure his hands were clasped in front of him so she didn't go in for a hug. "Beckett. You're looking, ah…professional as always."

Jesus—professional? That was the word his brain came up with? It was a borderline insult despite being an accurate description of her black pantsuit and white blouse beneath.

She gazed down at herself and then back up to him with a slightly furrowed brow. "Ah, yeah, case ran late; didn't have time to change. I'm just glad we made it—thank for the invite, by the way."

"That wasn't me—it was Paula."

She leaned away from him, gripping the book a bit tighter. "You…you don't want us here?"

"No, no." He assured quickly. Honestly, he was indifferent about their presence, but didn't want to make her feel outright unwelcome. "It's fine. I just mean I didn't specifically invite you; Paula used last year's list."

"I see." Her tone was clipped and he couldn't blame her.

They stood side by side for a silent, and awkward, thirty second before he slipped his hands down into his pants pockets and said, "So, uh, how've you been?"

"Good. You?"

"Very good. Been traveling a lot—just got back to town a few weeks ago actually."

She nodded. "Guess that's why we haven't heard from you."

He frowned at her passive-aggressive comment, but decided against engaging. What would be the point? He had moved on past their partnership and if she hadn't that was her problem. "Yeah, well, um-"

"Rick!"

A the sound of his name, Castle glanced towards his left and spotted Gina beckoning him frantically with one hand while she held up a microphone with the other. Evidently, the time of the evening for his thank you speech had arrived. Turning to Beckett he said, "Sorry—duty calls. Tell the boys I'll be over then to say hi."

"Wait, Castle."

The writer froze when Kate's slim hand landed on his forearm and she held him in place. "I know you have to…but there are some things I'd like to say before I go. I'll find you later?"

He blinked slowly and pushed a breath out through his nose. Part of him wanted to ask what the purpose would be, as their partnership was over, but he thought better of it. They had spent nearly three years together and he owed her an opportunity to say what she wanted to say in the off chance it was what she needed for closure. "Sure, ah, later," he said before hurrying off through the rows of books towards Gina.

Sitting in the reading nook nearest the door, Kate Beckett waited patiently for Castle to finish speaking to everyone in the room but her. Though they'd tagged along at her request, Kate had sent her partners home half an hour earlier knowing they were bored out of their minds; there was no reason they needed to suffer just because the writer was being stubborn and evasive, but she was determined to wait him out. He would hear what she had to say even if it was the last thing they ever said to one another.

Ever since her partner walked out of the precinct and her life six months earlier, Kate felt as though she was walking around in a haze. Nothing made sense anymore. Food didn't taste the same. Ryan's jokes weren't as funny (though maybe they never were). Dr. Burke told her she was teetering on the edge of depression, but really she just felt heartbroken and betrayed. She and Castle had an understanding—or so she thought they did. She thought he wanted her. He had even said that he loved her once, but as her therapist helped her understand: feelings changed and love didn't last forever.

Moving past her partnership with Castle was hard—probably one of the hardest things she'd ever done. She picked up the phone to call him so many times, especially in the first two months, but every time she chickened out. Ultimately she decided that living in wonder would be better than hearing him tell her that he no longer had romantic feelings for her; surely that would shatter her heart forever.

Then, out of the blue, she received the invitation to the Nikki Heat release party and her hope had been restored. Maybe they did have a chance to get back what they had, but apparently that notion had been foolish. Castle hadn't wanted here there at all. He didn't even seem to care; the book dedication made that plain enough. Had she not been so determined, she probably would have let those sentiments send her away from the party, but she'd made a deal with herself to speak to him and she wouldn't back down no matter how much she wanted to.

By that point, two hours after it began, the party was winding down, and when a man in a business suit shook Castle's hand and turned towards the exit, Kate popped up from her seat and hurried to catch the writer before someone else drew his attention. When she reached his side, he was gazing down at his phone so she said his name and he looked up, surprised.

"You're still here? I saw Ryan and Espo leave."

"Yes, but I told you I wanted to talk. Is now okay?"

He gazed around and shrugged in a slightly bored way. "Sure, I guess."

She nodded. "Okay. Just to preface what I'm about to say: you don't have to respond. I actually don't expect you to, but I need to say these things and I'd appreciate if you didn't interrupt."

His one brow arched a few inches and he stammered out, "I…okay."

Squaring her shoulders, she clasped onto Rising Heat with a strong grip in an attempt to mitigate the nerves emanating from her thrumming heart and then began the speech she'd been practicing in her mind for days. "I miss our partnership. I miss it a lot. When you left so suddenly I was confused—I still am. It seemed like something happened, but I never figured it out. I could only assume that your feelings changed—your feelings for me. An—and if they did that's fine." Her voice cracked on the "f" in "fine" and she felt her cheeks grow hot, but she pushed through after sucking in a deep breath.

"If your feelings changed, I accept that, but I also can't help but thing I might be partially to blame since I was dragging my feet and maybe you got bored or frustrated—I could understand that. Or, maybe… I don't know. Maybe it was something entirely different, but on the off chance it was me, I would like to say that I'm sorry and that the only reason I seemed hesitant was because I was scared. I was afraid that if we were to become more, it wouldn't work out, and then I'd lose our partnership and our friendship, but I guess I lost those things anyway." She added with a mirthless laugh.

Gazing up into the rather shell-shocked face of her former partner, Kate truly realized how foolish she had been. She tried to hold on to something fearful she could lose everything and ended up in the same place without any of the joy or happiness in between. If she had the opportunity to go back and do it again, she knew she would handle the situation differently, beginning with the lie she told her partner about what she recalled from the day of Montgomery's funeral, but she did not have that choice; life didn't work that way.

As silence between them persisted she realized that he was doing as she requested: not interrupting her and also feeling not obligated to respond, so she decided to wrap up the conversation. "Anyway, um, thank you for finishing Nikki's story and I really hope you're happy, Rick, because I want you to be happy. So, ah, I guess that's-"

"Wait."

Kate became a statue when his hand landed on her arm. She gazed up at him, tentative, not sure if his reaction to her statements would be positive or negative.

"I…did you…I don't understand."

"What don't you understand?"

"You…you wanted us to be more, but you were afraid of ruining our partnership?"

"Yes."

"'More'…like…romantic?"

She blinked at him as she did not realize her statement could have been interpreted in any other way. "Yes…"

"But…you didn't…don't…"

Her brow wrinkled at his stammering and she asked, "What are you trying to say, Castle?"

He set his jaw and stared her down harshly. "I heard you—I heard you in interrogation when you said you remembered your shooting. That means you remembered what I said, right? You remembered that I told you I loved you, but you ignored it…didn't you?"

Kate's heart sunk to the deepest pit of her stomach. Damn—she was such a fool. That case had been just a few weeks before her partner walked away from their partnership. So there had been a catalyst after all and it was her fault! "Oh, Castle…" She began, but didn't know what to say so only ended up shaking her head.

They stared at each other silently for several moments before the writer asked in a tone barely above a whisper, "You wanted to be with me?"

"Yes," she replied in an equally quiet tone.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I did! I did!" She blurted out. "When you came back after last summer I told you I needed time and I thought you…"

His brow knitted once more. "But when I left—why didn't you…why didn't you stop me if you cared about me?"

She shrugged and a tear fell from the corner of her eye. "I…I was afraid. I… I was upset and confused you left, but if I asked and you told me it was because you didn't want me anymore than I …I…" She let her voice drift off and shook her head before folding her arms tightly over her chest.

Taking a step towards her, Castle challenged, "What Kate? What would have happened?"

She sniffed back tears and lifted her chin towards the ceiling, trying to summon the courage to say the thing she should have a year earlier. "Because if you told me you didn't want me it would…it would hurt me in the way I'd been trying to avoid ever since my mom died, because even though I tried to fight it I couldn't and I still fell harder for you than I'd ever-"

"Dad, are you—oh! I'm sorry!" Alexis said quickly when she stumbled upon their conversation in the middle of the bookstore.

Mortified, Kate quickly turned away and covered her face with her hands to hide the remnants of tears on her cheeks. She distantly heard a hushed conversation between father and daughter, but did not focus on it enough to pick up the subject on which they were speaking. Wishing she had a tissue, Kate could only do the best she could with her fingers as she attempted to collect herself. She wiped so vigorously at her face that when Castle's hand landed on her shoulder she jumped and the book she had trapped between her elbow and ribcage landed on the floor with a plop. Castle retrieved it and held it out to her along with a clean handkerchief; she thanked him for both.

"Beckett, I…I guess I don't really know what to say."

"That's okay." She shook her head as she mopped beneath her nose. "I told you that you didn't have to say anything, remember?"

"No, I mean—I think I also owe you an apology. I…acted childishly and jumped to conclusions I shouldn't have. I gave you less credit than you deserve and I'm sorry for that."

She gazed up at him and saw the flicker of regret in his eyes so she sniffed back tears and nodded. "Apology accepted."

For the first time since she arrived that evening, he smiled at her. "Good; great! And, ah, maybe we can have dinner together this week—tomorrow, even."

Her heart fluttered in her chest, but before she allowed herself to be hopeful, she wanted to be clear about his implications. "Dinner?"

"Yeah, I mean, the way I understand it we both want to be together, but because of miscommunications on both sides we have some things to figure out and I'd like to talk our way through those—the sooner the better."

A breathy laugh escaped her lips and she hugged the book tighter to her chest. "I'd like that, too."

His grin stretched further onto his cheeks. "So tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

"Until then, Beckett." Castle skimmed his hand down her arm while leaning in to press his lips to her cheek. She leaned in to this tender gesture and had no complaints about the fact that he held her closer for three or four seconds longer than he should have.

"See you then, Castle."

"Oh hey wait!" He stopped her before she could take more than three steps towards the door. When she raised a curious eyebrow in his direction, he gestured to the book she held. "When you get to the ending, don't read too much into it."

"Why's that?"

His eyes sparkled as he looked at her. "Because Nikki Heat's story definitely isn't over yet."

Thank you for reading!