Disclaimer: The song lyrics go to Shinedown and I do not own these characters. Enjoy.
I dedicate this story to my friend Emily.

My friend has been saying how she wishes that Kanra should be someone from Izaya's past, more like from Kadota's, Shinra's, and Shizuo's past also. She has said that it explains why Izaya Hates Shizuo so much and why Shizuo hates Izaya, also how Kadota and Izaya weren't on very good terms anymore but they still might talk. Shinra... well he's Shinra and he's almost always happy.

So without further ado, I present to you~ The Crow and the Butterfly! Occasional song lyrics imputed into this story.

((I painted your room at

Midnight, so I'd know

Yesterday was over

I put all your books on the top shelf,

Even the one with the four leaf clover

Man, I'm getting older

I took all your pictures off the wall

And wrapped them in a newspaper blanket

I haven't slept in what seems like a century,

And now I can barely breathe.))

Izaya finally got around to looking in Kanra's room. It had been two months since she passed away and her room was something he had tried to avoid. It was too harsh to look at, all the memories of the times that she would come bounding out of the room, excited for no reason, or even to yell at me. They always replayed when I see her door, closed, unlike all the other times, it was always open but now he couldn't look inside the room at all.

This was the day he finally could. He wasn't sure if he wanted to get rid of her stuff or keep it, to change the room or to leave it. The books were strewn all across the floor from the morning they had the fight. Her white wall still had a deep red stain from her blood. She had charged at me, I wouldn't let her go visit her damned boyfriend and when I pushed her back, she fell straight back on the wall, hard. The hook that had been what she used for holding up her jacket went straight into her back, curving upward into her. She had screamed out and panicked; instead of letting me help her she tore herself off of the hook, getting more blood everywhere. The hook thankfully didn't stick inside of her and just stayed in the wall, but it had left a huge opening on her back.

She didn't want to go to the hospital and had called Shinra to come take care of it. She never went back into her room after that, when Shinra had finished taking care of her wound she ran out the door, tears still in her eyes. She had called out to the both of them that she was going to be taking a ride with Shizuo to the beach that afternoon. Shinra had left after that, leaving me with the house by myself, it was abnormally quiet that day, I couldn't tell what the difference was, just figured that it was because Kanra hadn't left in a cheery mood like usual and that they had had a fight for the first time in three years.

Izaya's eyes teared up as he remembered the scene of the incident again; it wasn't even that that killed her. He had nothing to do with it, well technically. He only started crying because he kept remembering that he wasn't able to apologize to her, she had just left that day, not wanting any further discussion on the topic. That was the last time he heard her voice, and it was when she was talking about that beast, the man who had killed off his sister and managed to survive the death penalty they were to both receive, even though he was in the car with her.

Izaya wiped his eyes and got to work, he knew what he wanted to do. He wanted the blood spot gone. The spot that had long ago ceased to keep dripping down to the floor. Now it just looked like the remains of a murder or splatter of someone who had been shot by a gun. He walked out of the room and down to the supply room his buildings janitor had. He picked the lock and stole a quart or white paint and walked back upstairs, into his apartment floor, and into Kanra's room. He set down the bucket of liquid that could possibly help his memories. He started taking everything off that wall that had been infected with the red reminder. He took off the hook, then all of her hanging photos, lastly he took down her shelf, the one she had begged him to install in her room countless number of times until he finally obliged. He picked up the books that she had thrown at him and put it on her shelf that's sole purpose was just for books, and many of them.

He set all the pictures aside and just out one sheet of newspaper above them, in case of any splatters. It was midnight by the time he actually got around to painting the wall itself. He set down some old newspaper on the carpet so it didn't turn white and any different from how her room would normally look. After a few strokes from the paint roller he became energetic and determined to rid of this stain on his life. Never did he make the effort to wash it off though. He believes that you can never run from your past, you can cover it up and act okay, but humans do not like to get away from things completely. No matter how traumatic the experience, they still want proof it happened for future reference or maybe so they could look back and feel confident on how much better they are now. Never do they fully get rid of it.

After an hour or so he put down the paint roller and tried to see if you could notice any red, you couldn't. Izaya nodded solemnly and set the paint aside, waiting for the wall to dry. He didn't want to sleep, he hadn't in a while and if he did it was only for three or less hours. He always woke up with nightmares, nightmares that he would lose everything else close to him. He felt older, even though he was only nineteen. Everyone had just graduated three months ago and was getting on with their lives, none of them planning on college, Shinra became an underground doctor, He was still indecisive of what he would do, and Kanra had been too. His old friend, recent rival, Shizuo has been skipping through jobs all through high school but finally got a steady job at a local bar, and Izaya hated that. Hated him. Sure they fought in high school but those were just friendly fights, Kanra had made us cooperate and like each other. Now it unwound and everything fell apart.

Remembering the past made it hard to breath, everything was nostalgic, but the memories also brought Kanra back into his mind, not that she ever left it. He felt as if a part of him was gone; he wanted to find her again. Maybe someone like her that could try to replace her but not all of the way. No one could ever replace her all of the way. Everyone loved her, she was opposite of me, she never got into a fight. She was so kind, the city loved her, no one even tried to harass her, the most they would do is beg her to take a flower a little child had picked for her and she gladly accepted that. She was always smiling, never sad, and yet the last moments I remember with her is her evil glare towards me, just the look shouted that she hated me, there were tears in her eyes, something that didn't belong there and never will.

((Just like a crow chasing the butterfly

Dandelions lost in the summer sky

When you and I were getting high as outer space,

I never thought you'd slip away

I guess I was just a little too late))

As he waited he walked over to her closet and looked through her clothes, they were all different bright colors, quite opposite of his which only consisted of black and occasional red. He was like a crow compared to a butterfly. His sister was the social butterfly, talking to everyone just to make friends, but he was the crow, he only talked to people to get interesting information from them and it was easy for him. Most people hated him, which made him sad to think of, he wished to be loved like his sister, he couldn't bear the thought of more people hating him, and probably more than he hated himself. He could continue making up comparisons for him and his sister as much as he wanted too, the list seemed to go on for a while. He was death she was light, He was a thorn while she was a petal, he was a worthless weed while she was a beautiful dandelion.

Even though when we were together we would always be laughing and feel as if there were no stress between us and our society differences, I could tell she was concerned for me. She wanted me to do something I loved to do, not sit around and watch people from above. But, sister, what I have learned is, I do love doing that. I just wish they would love me like they loved you.

No one believed that the towns precious jewel had passed away, no one wanted to believe it, even after the funeral that everyone seemed to have attended. They learned to accept it now, but kids still waited on streets, hoping for her to return and accept their flowers. She had always made one specific route every day since she got lost easily. That's where the kids wait, their mother sobbing because of their actions and the father trying to explain she won't ever come back. Even I don't want to believe it but I accepted it, much faster than the city. No one ever thought you would slip away, it seemed impossible for something that brightened up everyone's life to pass away.
The ambulance passengers that had tried to save her as fast as they could now hold it over their shoulders that they were a little too late. The truck driver that had smashed into Shizuo's side of the car, the one that had started the accident, committed suicide the day before his trial in court. Just her being gone has created a huge change in the once happy city. Everyone seems depressed now; good people have randomly broken into fights on the street now.

Explaining all the changes would be hard, since I have not been outside in the past three weeks. I was tired of all the sympathy people sent my way, finally noticing me now that she was gone.

((Your words still serenade me,

Your lullabies won't let me sleep

I've never heard such a haunting melody.

Oh, it's killing me

You know I can barely breathe))

Her last words still play throughout me, at night her lullabies keep me awake, they had once put me to sleep when I was little, but now they were like a sharp knife, stabbing my heart over and over with each sweet word she used to whisper to me to comfort me. It was worse when one of my nightmares had allowed one of her songs to seep in and she was there. Singing the song in a very soft but creepy voice, her eyes started to melt from their sockets and her smile twitched into something disturbing before she whispered a different word than normal in the melody.

"Please let me give you your sweet revenge, you deserve it for all of the things you have done."

After those words passed she disappeared and all you could see was a picture of her and I together, slowly ripping apart.
These nightmares are going to be the death of me, aren't they?

Izaya finished putting the pictures back up on the wall, after it had dried and walked out her bedroom door. He felt as if he really needed to move on and soon but could not.

He wanted revenge on Shizuo; he wanted him to go through the same pain he is going through.
A few months later Izaya started his plan, it all started with logging onto a chat site, his username is none other than Kanra.