Entry to the Dramione Love Mini Fest 2016
Word Count: 1064
Rating: PG-13
Warnings (if any): Fluff, and time skips (to keep with the word count)
Summary: A matchmaking attempt turns into a prank war.
Author's Notes: Thanks to RZZMG for helping come up with a non-angsty plot, and to pineapplebooks for being my Beta.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. This work of fiction was created entirely for fun, not for profit, and no copyright infringement is intended.
~%~
The door slammed with a loud ibang/i, hitting her behind as she stumbled into the room. She landed on a comfortable plank.
"That's odd," she thought aloud. "Why is the floor so comfortable?"
"That's 'coz it isn't the floor you're lounging on, Granger," groaned a voice under her.
"Oh! Draco, I'm sorry. I—" Hermione quickly scrambled off him.
He waved off her feeble attempts at an apology and sat up on the floor of the supply closet.
"This is getting ridiculous, Hermione," he sighed exasperatedly. "Are you sure you don't want to tell them we're together and be done with?"
She pouted and jabbed at the doorknob vindictively. "With how irritating they've been lately, I'd rather let them suffer not knowing."
"But Hermione, love," he said, drawing her into his arms. "We're the ones suffering from their ill-planned matchmaking schemes. Don't you think they should know they don't have to set us up?"
She looked up at him wide-eyed in the dim light, then smirked. "No, not yet," she said. "And you've just given me an idea on how to get back at them."
Draco did not bother to hide his groan.
"Oh, come on," she said. "I know you'll enjoy it as much, if not more than I do when we're done."
"If you say so."
"When have I ever been wrong?" she asked.
"Well, if you count this and that time by the—"
"Alright! I get it," she grumbled. "I'm not perfect."
"No one said you had to be," he replied.
She leaned her forehead on his shoulder and muttered inaudibly.
"And I'll stop you before you destroy yourself," he added as an afterthought.
She pounded on his chest weakly. He chuckled.
"Usual charms?" she asked.
"An hour before it unlocks and impervious to magic," he confirmed.
She stood up swiftly and helped him up. "Meet me tonight at the Room of Requirement to plan."
Transfiguring the nearest mop into a large hammer, she turned to him, smirking. "I'm starting this war with a bang."
With a roar, she raised the hammer and smashed the door to bits, then stepped out gracefully over the debris. Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of a flabbergasted Pansy beside a shocked Blaise and an astounded Theo.
"Nice day today, isn't it?" she said blandly. She glared at Potter and Weasley as she flounced to the library.
Draco left the closet warily and greeted the spectators. As he left with his friends, he heard Harry whisper to Ron, "Are you sure this is still a good idea, mate? She's positively terrifying! I mean, a sledgehammer?"
~%~
The next day, Potter and Weasley entered the Great Hall with green and silver striped hair. Hermione shared laughs with her friends and excused herself to the library just as they were about to go over to tease them. She made them promise they'd tell her what happened.
~%~
On Wednesday, Hermione feigned surprise when she entered the Great Hall for breakfast and saw her own friends with red and gold striped hair.
"What on earth happened to you?" she asked.
"Those blasted Gryffindors probably thought we were the ones behind the prank last Monday." Pansy pouted. It looked unbecoming.
"How long does it last?" asked Hermione.
"Probably a week," grumbled Blaise. "Those Gryffindors are vindictive."
"A week!" Hermione gasped. They had just given her the idea to extend her prank.
"I say we set the record straight," said Theo, eyeing the other two. "We can't have them at constantly at our throats."
Hermione had the oddest feeling they weren't talking about inter-House unity. She slumped down beside Blaise and sighed serenely. "Oh, well," she said. "It's for the best."
She looked over to the Gryffindor table to find them laughing at their expense. "It's a Quidditch weekend, too."
Blaise stiffened beside her. Hermione hid her smirk. "Oh, don't worry," he said. "They'll pay for this."
~%~
That night, the Room of Requirement echoed with laughter.
"Hey, the Gryffindor–Slytherin match is coming up," said Draco. "Wonder what would happen if they showed up supporting the opposite team?"
Hermione grinned.
~%~
The next day, most of the upper class Gryffindors had green skin. The day after that, many Slytherins had red. The Quidditch match that weekend was the most entertaining Hermione had ever been to.
~%~
The following week, hostilities on both sides were at an all-time high. She and Draco did not even need to provoke anyone, and all plans of matchmaking had been abandoned in favor of roping them into plans of revenge.
~%~
Pansy stormed up to Potter after catching sight of him as he left the Great Hall.
"Expelliarmus!"
Potter was thrown roughly back against a wall, his wand flying into Pansy's waiting hand. Weasley took out his wand, but he was bound before he could cast a spell.
"What the—"
"Potter!" cried Pansy. "How could you?"
She shoved him back against the wall, her antlers scraping the stone behind him. Harry was caught between dread, laughter, and pity. Mostly dread. Ron was laughing at her even as a crowd gathered around them.
"I trusted you," she said, her voice cracking. "Counter-curse. Now."
"I—I didn't—I don't know—"
"Now, Potter."
"I really don't—"
"I hate you."
~%~
Hermione met Draco in a hidden alcove after the hubbub died down.
"That was great!" squealed Hermione. "Did you see their faces? Priceless!"
Draco frowned. "I feel bad for Parkinson, though."
"Don't be ridiculous! She had it coming." Hermione said vengefully.
"Hermione, she's terrified of deer!"
"I know." She smirked.
Draco sighed. "Don't you think it's time we told them?"
Hermione gazed at him, then grumbled. "Oh, fine. I suppose we have gone too far this time."
Draco smiled and smoothed her hair. "And you'll apologize to Parkinson."
"Eventually."
He exhaled loudly. "Good enough."
Hermione looked smug.
"But tomorrow you have to show off your Gryffindor side and sit with me—" He ignored her shriek of outrage. "—right after we publicly declare our relationship."
"What? You wanna use Sonorus to shout it out?" scoffed Hermione.
He stared at her and smiled smugly as she worked out the inevitable response to that declaration.
"Oh, you little snake!" squealed Hermione.
"Gryffindor, darling, sometimes produces the best results."
~%~
The next day, Draco and Hermione walked into the Great Hall holding hands and announced to all present that they had been dating for a whole year.