Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, regrettably.

Author's Note: So here it goes, my second Harry Potter fanfic. It's going to be an alternating point of view between my main character and Charlie, just so that no one gets confused or something. I'm not sure how this is going to develop yet, I've got a few scenes in my head but other than that I'm working on another story at the same time so I might be slacking. This one will include a song in the title that inspired me in some way or reminded me of something in the chapter. Last but not least, why the hell do I keep failing the security code? I can't be the only one, right? :D Happy reading, everyone! Thank you!

1 – Somewhere Far Away

Walking Dead – Papa Roach

Why was I always such an idiot? I buried my head in my hands, letting my light brown hair flow around my face to hide my anguish from my fellow train passengers. To them it must look as though I was sleeping when I was actually tormenting myself internally for being such an arse. I knew perfectly well that I was exaggerating but I needed this at the moment after all I had put myself through. At least I was strong enough to admit that I was the one at fault.

I had done what anyone could tell you was absolutely wrong and would only get you into trouble and lead to a broken heart but it couldn't be helped, I had fallen for my friend's boyfriend. It hadn't even felt like an act of desperation since we got along perfectly, so flawlessly that I had been entirely sure that Bill Weasley was the one for me but I had been wrong, naturally.

Fleur had been one of my only friends at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic since I hated the hypocrisy and superficial manner of most of the French women but we hadn't been close enough for her to notice my predicament.

When Fleur had first met him, I had been confident that nothing would come of it but then they were suddenly engaged, married and awaiting a child. It had all gone by so quickly and I hadn't really taken the relationship serious but the war had distracted me from the obvious signs. They stood together and their relationship was strengthened by the stresses and strains. The world didn't tumble down upon them because they had something to go home to, someone that awaited them and lifted the burden off their shoulders when they needed a moment to breathe.

I knew this exactly because I had been a guest in their safe house for several weeks but the harmony between them made the residence at their home more of a torture than a relief. But the times had made me grateful for any help, especially after the death of my younger brother in the battle of Hogwarts.

It was a common fact that many great wizards had been lost in the fight but that was of no condolence to me. My hand flew to the oval amulet around my neck that was currently covered by the rough material of the sweater I was still wearing that did not match the weather around me at all. I pulled it out with careful fingers and flipped it open, talking in my dear brother's calm features and sandy brown hair that was a nuance lighter than mine.

A fierce grin was on my face in the picture and I couldn't help but feel sad about it since I couldn't remember when I had last worn such a smile. It had been a cold winter's day in Finland, where he and I had searched for the Scandinavian Freezescales, a particularly rare kind of dragon, and the photo had been taken after we had finally caught sight of a pair of the elegant beings.

Our cheeks were flushed due to excitement and the cold environment, the thick, red wool tuque on my head was proof enough that it had been freezing. Joel's arm was wrapped around my shoulders and his chin rested on my shoulder contently. My throat felt constricted and my heart heavy when I saw his expression because I would never see it again.

The expedition had been a real turning point in my life since the research that I published earned me international respect in the scene and I had a certain reputation exceeding me that I would do anything for new knowledge about my favorite creatures, I was reckless. But I had lost my drive after his death because I lost not only my brother but my best teammate.

We had always been a great team with him loving the excitement of the chase and motivated me to go on even when I was about to give up while I was thrilled by each new discovery we made. My life had been an adventure with him and now I only ever tried touring the wild once, failing miserably. It wasn't the same without him and it sucked to be accompanied by some fame seeking leech that only stuck around you to be mentioned in a footnote of my next great piece of work. Thanks, but no thanks.

A year after the war, I felt like I had lost everything. The love for my job, the familiarity of a family bond that was severed by our great loss and my chance at happiness with the one man that I just couldn't fall out of love with.

So with a heavy heart I agreed to allowing myself a new start when my presence was requested at a dragon camp in Rumania where I was now heading. A study about Rumanian Longhorns and their social behavior was supposed to rehabilitate me among my research colleagues but I didn't believe in the project just yet. It all seemed like a futile attempt of my producer to finally get a decent book out of me so that the investment into my so called talent was worthwhile.

I looked down upon my brother's face resting in my cool palm and wondered how he would react if he could see me now. I bet he would be harshly disappointed and my heart sank when his last pained expression came to my mind again. His body had been buried under a pile of rubble but deep magically inflicted gashes upon his chest were the reason why he hadn't been breathing anymore and his blood smeared face still haunted me at times.

But it had been his choice to participate in the battle and I knew that I couldn't have kept him from it even if I had tried to. Naturally, I hadn't tried to persuade him to stay away from that horrible event because I hadn't been disinclined to go there but now I wished that I had been more reasonable.

With a deep sigh I stripped out of the sweater I wore, causing my pendant to swing against my waist on its long silver necklace. I glanced around to make sure that I was going unnoticed when I stuffed my sweater into my magically enlarged knapsack. After getting rid of the warm clothing, I visibly relaxed into the cushioned seat I was sitting in, dressed only in dark green shorts that reached down half of my thighs and a simple cream top that was edged with lace on the top, adorning my décolleté.

A young man was staring at me and I stared back at him intensely until he could no longer hold my gaze and turned away his pestering glance. I knew that I could look quite threatening with my dark eyes that were such a deep brown that they were almost black and only when the sun shone into my eyes did one see the fine difference. They stood out in stark contrast to my porcelain skin that was slightly freckled around the area of my nose. Joel had always said that I looked terrifying when I turned my angry gaze on him. He even went so far to say that I looked so unfathomable that even the Dark Lord himself would waver under my gaze but I highly doubted that I was that intimidating.

My patience was wearing thin as the train ride seemed to lengthen rather than shorten and I regretted the decision to not apparate to my new working place. I had initiated the habit of taking muggle means of transportation to locations that were unknown to me because I felt insecure about apparating someplace I didn't know, where a muggle might see me or I could have an accident by apparating into someone so I spared myself the anxiety of such an occurrence and got to know the country in a normal manner. My nerves were running thin either way and I wouldn't have been able to concentrate on working magic at the moment. So most of the time I had been looking out the window and taking in the landscape.

I made good use of the time and pulled out a letter that I had now read at least ten times during my journey, interpreting each line of it until it didn't make any sense at all anymore because reading between the lines was impossible when there was nothing written there.

Dearest Raine,

I can't believe that you're leaving but if you're experience in a new country is like mine in Egypt then it's going to be extraordinary and you're going to love it. I'm sure that you can accomplish anything that you wish for and hopefully you'll find some inspiration. Be sure to write me and tell me how you're doing or I'm going to have to hunt you down wherever you are by now. If my good old owl can find you, than so can I. Hopefully.

Life is going about as usual here at Shell Cottage. Fleur is raging around the house like a dragon in preparation for Victoire, who we are soon expecting. She seems more like my mother day after day but don't tell her I mentioned that since she would kill me if she knew, but it's true.

But I guess that's what it does to you when you are becoming a parent. I desperately miss our late night conversations, you always made me feel like I couldn't do anything wrong but now I'm not so sure. They say you're never actually ready to be a father but I don't want to be unprepared when the situation arises. I'm sure you understand, you always do.

Fleur wishes you all the best at your new location with kisses and all her love, well you know her.

Come around soon.

Sincerely,

Bill

I traced the lines of his handwriting, imagining what he might have looked like when he wrote this. His elbow would lean on his desk with his one hand cradling his face while the other wrote down thoughtfully whatever came to his mind. There would be a strand of reddish hair escaping his sleek, long ponytail and would dangle into his face, causing him to occasionally flip his head unconsciously to get it out of his way.

My daydream was ruined when Fleur invaded it, throwing her arms around him exuberantly, bugging him into showing him what he was doing and sending me her regards jubilantly, unknowing of what it made me feel like. But then again even I didn't know what her ignorance of my feelings for her husband made me feel like, a bit of everything actually. Relief, anger, hope, disbelief, betrayal. It didn't matter anyway because I had decided long ago that I would never tell her nor Bill about the fact that I was smitten with Bill.

Since I hadn't gotten immune to his charm I would just stay away from him from now on, hoping that this would diminish my churning feelings for him. I hadn't even told him where I was going because I simply didn't want him to know. Then I could or could not see him on my own terms. It would be my own decision and he couldn't just surprise me with any sudden appearances, possibly forcing me to stay in love with him for the rest of my life.

Rereading his letter, a passage caught my eye this time that I must have not read very thoroughly because I could definitely find a hint of regret or bitterness in his words. I wondered if he blamed Fleur for ending his career in Egypt, it sounded like he had very much enjoyed his work there and it had to be more challenging than working at Gringotts.

I know that I would have never forced him into making such a fatal decision because thanks to apparating it was very much possible to lead a long-distance relationship without any distance at all. Thanks to my own adventurous being I would have never denied him the longing to see different countries because I had it myself. Hope swelled in my chest involuntarily and I fought it down with all my might because I felt like a silly school girl whenever Bill crossed my mind. He might be three years my elder but he had never treated me like a minor, maybe because his own wife was just as young as well but my body always felt as light as a feather when he stood before me. I despised being that out of control but with him it seemed alright because I knew that he would never use me.

Here I was again, whitewashing my insufferable crush on him and I knew that I had to stop but I just couldn't stop. I desperately hoped that being in a remote place, without a certain redhead bouncing around me without knowing what damage he did in the process, would help me get over him soon.

With a loud squeaking sound the train came to a halt and I was startled out of my reverie when I noticed that this was my stop. I got out hectically, almost forgetting to grab my bag in the hassle and smoothed out my hair when I was outside in the stuffy but still fresh air. The sun beat down on me without mercy and I wished that I was back in Finland with my brother but I knew that it wasn't possible and I was only delaying myself so with another deep sigh I made my way to the magical town that edged close to the camp that I was heading for with my bag slung across my shoulder carelessly.

When I was on the fray of all civilization close to the train station, I rummaged in my bag to find my wand and used a disillusionment charm so that I could fly the rest of the way on my broom. Mounting my Nimbus 2000 was already a great relief and the gush of wind that met me when I kicked off made me feel so much more alive again.

I flew several rounds in the sky to work out the cramps in my legs that had been induced by the long sitting times and felt a wave of dismal disenchantment wash through me when I saw how empty the close surroundings were. I really felt like I was fleeing to some kind of refuge now and couldn't stop myself from sighing for what felt like the thousandth time today. With my luck, there would most likely be even more of it to follow.