Hi everyone. I know people don't like OCs, so I wanted to clarify that this is a Kyle/Stan centric Fic. It's the first one I've written in a couple years so I'm a little rusty, and on top of that it's my first multi chapter story. Anyway please enjoy.

It's Wednesday, and those super low-budget "hamburgers" are on the menu board, but I'm not buying. Instead, I'm sharing with someone. Everything looks amazing, tasty, and fresh. Best of all, I can eat everything here without sending my blood sugar into orbit!

"Thanks for sharing. You didn't have to." Lisa smiles at me and hands me a little steaming cup. Lisa is pretty, with long black hair and heavy bangs. She also has braces, which I find cute. "What's this?" I ask, looking into the cup.

"Lemon ginger tea. It's really yummy." She stabs some rolled up lunch meat with cream cheese with a toothpick. "It's supposed to be good for people with diabetes. Try it."

I take a cautious sip… It is good! "Thanks again."

"You're welcome."

Lisa and I met at a book store the other day. When I saw her, in the corner, sipping her drink, face in a book, I realized I had never seen her before, and felt compelled to say hi. Now in my head, I planned to walk up to her super smooth like and introduce myself. What I did was twist an ankle, bump into a bookshelf -which then fell into her, of course- and land flat on my face. I wanted to melt into the goddamn carpet and disappear. As it turned out, she's great, and was super nice about the whole thing. And we went to the same school! We wound up talking for over an hour.

When Stan and Kenny finally make it out of the lunch line I wave them over, chowing down on some deviled eggs. Man, I wish school lunches were like this!

"Hey Kyle," Stan says.

"Hey dudes. This is Lisa. Lisa, this is Stan and Kenny."

Kenny slides in next to Lisa and Stan sits across from us. Kenny is kind of ridiculous, really. He just met her and he's already way too interested. I'm not surprised, though. He's good looking and he knows it. Girls give him attention. He's the tallest out of us all, except for Cartman. He's pretty thin, too, and the first one of us to have any facial hair. It's sort of weird how much he looks like his dad now.

"So where are you from?" he asks.

"My dad was in the Army so we moved all over." Lisa struggles to pin back her bangs with a bobby pin. "Soooo, that's kind of impossible to answer. The last place I lived was Ohio, though."

"That's cool. Stan's Uncle Jimbo was in the Army," I say. "right Stan?"

"Yeah. Whatever." Stan dips a fry in ketchup, looking disinterested. I shoot him a dirty look. "So did anyone do the homework for Dom's class?"

Kenny pulls a crumpled sheet of paper from his pocket. "I did."

"Excellent! Mind if I copy?" Before Kenny can even answer, Stan snatches it out of his hand.

I sigh, frustrated. Stan has been so bad about this lately. I mean, he used to at least TRY. Now he doesn't even bother. Kenny says he's depressed over the fact that Wendy already has another boyfriend, but I don't know. Something seems off about him, and any time I try to talk about it he blows me off, or says everything is fine. He used to be so smart and ambitious. Seeing him struggle and not even care makes me sad, but I totally get it. I mean, my parents made me get a job, and between work, homework, and researching colleges, I don't have the energy to really do anything I enjoy, let alone hang out. That's why I'm so patient with Stan, because I know how it is. I know his parents are split up again and he's messed up over it. I know he's hurting. But if he won't let me help, what am I supposed to do except wait?

"Wait, you didn't do the last 4 problems Kenny."

"So?"

"So if I don't do the last 4 problems, and you don't do the last 4 problems, then he's gonna know I copied."

"So do them yourself."

"Ugh!" Stan takes off his baseball cap with a groan. "Fine… I hate math."

While Stan silently fumes, things are going well with Kenny, Lisa and I. I'm glad. Later, I think I'll introduce her to some of the girls, and then maybe she won't feel so alone. We're all laughing about some dumb commercial, when all of a sudden— "Well hello, you guys. Who's your new friend, Kahl?"

Oh. Damnit

Lisa looks over her shoulder, and then straight up, since Cartman grew into a damn bus over the summer. He's still overweight, but nothing like when we were younger. He would be great on the football team, except that involves running and Cartman says there's no way in Hell that's happening. "Oh, hi. I'm Lisa."

For a moment, Cartman stares at her with this silent intensity. It's fucking creepy. I'm practically praying the next words out of his mouth aren't something incredibly stupid or racist, but I'm not holding my breath.

"Uh huh…" he approaches the table, drops his tray with a loud CLANG, and sits. "And what is your, ah, given name?"

"Cartman," I warn him. "Don't."

But Lisa seems oblivious. Of course she would be. Normal people are not like Cartman. She has no idea what an asshole he is. "Chung Lì húa."

"Hmm…" Cartman strokes his chin. "So you're a Chinese, then?"

Stan stops scribbling down answers and rolls his eyes. "Dude, don't—"

What Cartman says next blows me away. "Nǐ shì cóng nǎlǐ lái de?"

"Whoa, what the fuck?" Kenny begins laughing hysterically. "What was THAT?"

Stan tilts his head. "Since when do you speak Chinese?"

"I speak many languages, Stan," Cartman reveals. "Remember? I'm suppose you could say I'm a bit of a polyglot."

All I can do is sit here with my mouth agape, a horrified look on my face, and then I glance at Lisa, and she looks impressed. Oh fuck. No you don't, Cartman, you fat racist fuck!

"Huh? Wǒ lái zì Běijīng. That's pretty impressive. You even got the tones right, not many people do."

"Yeah," I mumble in a monotone voice. "That's impressive all right."

Cartman cocks an eyebrow, his hands forming a pyramid of smugness. More than anything right now, I want to punch him. "Xiexie. I've had quite a bit of time to study your language. Your people." He stares deep into her eyes, a smirk wedged in the corner of his mouth. He isn't looking at me, but I know that smirk is meant for me. "And please, call me Eric."

I suppress a groan and mouth 'knock it off' at him. He just beams back and starts eating. Meanwhile, Stan finishes and hands Kenny his paper back. He puts back on his cap and stands up. Doesn't even bother to say goodbye.

Lisa looks uncomfortable.

"Uh, goodbye?" I call after him.

"What's his problem?"

Cartman takes this opportunity to hook his pinky around the edge of Stan's tray and slide it his way. "Who knows? Maybe he's upset about the whales again. He's just a big fat floppy vagina, guys; ignore him."

Kenny snickers.

"So anyway!" I clear my throat loudly. "Lisa, I was thinking I could give you a tour when we're done. What do you think?"

"Sure, sounds fun."