Welcome back! I'm so glad you've found the way to this story. It's been one of my favourite projects so far, as I usually don't get myself worked up with ongoing stories.

As much as I like Supercorp, my shipper heart rests with Kalex and I just thought things between Alex and Kara didn't really come to an end in "When you're ready to know it."

If you've read "When you're ready to know it" and you're not comfortable with a Kalex ending, please feel free to just leave it with the Supercorp ending ;)

So please enjoy the ship sailing into the haven of happy endings :)

We live a good life, Lena and I. It's quiet, as quiet as it can be. Even though it's been five years now, we still haven't managed to share a flat. Somehow, I know I need room for myself. A part of me doesn't want to admit it, but it's also about having room for Alex and me, too. We seek and crave those "sister nights", at least that's what we used to call it before that night on her balcony. The night Alex decided to keep things exactly as they were, but it was also the night Alex stopped calling me sister.

It's been five long years of happiness and closeness, both, with Lena and Alex. Both were home to me all the way. It's been exciting and new, especially the nights and I revelled in the sensation of feeling Lena's warm skin against mine. Nights that made me feel at ease, secure even. But even in Lena's arms, I felt something tugging at my heart from time to time. It was light and thoroughly situated in the back of my mind, only making sounds in those nights, a dull knocking that reminded me of a loss I hadn't really experienced. Even Lena couldn't make it go away.

I watch the bright morning sun over National City now. Lena has send me a message, but I couldn't get myself to answer yet. She wants to know if everything is okay, but it isn't. I know it isn't, even though I feel differently. Right now, I feel like belonging, like my whole life was supposed to come down to this very moment, like I had been waiting forever, but now, now it's alright.

I wish there would be words to describe it in a way that Lena could understand. She says she does, but I know she'll never truly do. I wish she could understand that all of this has nothing to do with her, but I know it's not possible to put this in words. It just feels right.

If I'd have to say when things started to get worse, I would say it was the day after my first Christmas with Lena. We went to see Eliza over the holidays and it was just beautiful to have them all together. Lena had to leave in the morning, of course it had something to do with work. I'm not going to lie, but I was pissed and it was Alex who managed to calm me down over the day. To be honest, Alex seemed to be the only one noticing that something was off.

I lay awake that night, a total of three hours until I crawled out of bed to make myself a nice cup of hot chocolate. I was just about to head to the living room when I heard a floorboard creaking, soft steps placed on the stairs and I knew it was her. A tiny chuckle exited my mouth when I saw she carried her gun.

"You don't honestly think I would let a burglar anywhere near this house, do you?" I whispered and Alex cocked her head.

"Of course not. I should've known it was you. Who else makes noises in the kitchen."

"You should be asleep, it's four in the morning Alex."

"I have every right to drink hot chocolate in the middle of the night, too." Alex smiled. I watched her reaching for a cup. Her small form was as fragile as ever, but my eyes lingered just a second longer on her face and the delicate way it was framed by her hair. A well known feeling of comfort filled me as I leaned against the counter, just a bit closer to her.

"So... Lena's working a lot, huh?" Alex said without looking at me. Ever since Lena and I got together, it was almost a bit uncomfortable to talk about our relationships with each other, at least, that's the way I felt.

"I don't really wanna talk about this..." I mumbled back. Surely, Alex must've sensed it. Her body shifted nearer, just a bit, but I was afraid to meet her eyes.

"You sure? Cause I've seen the way you've been acting ever since she left and I'm a bit worried."

"It's nothing, really."

I made the mistake of looking into her eyes. Instantly, I felt the need to spill out my deepest thoughts and feelings to her.

"Okay..." I exhaled. Alex's hand came up to softly stroke my shoulder as I leaned into her just a bit more. "It's... just complicated and stupid. I know she's just doing her job and as a CEO she cannot just drop everything for the holidays, just as I, as Supergirl, cannot stop saving people even at the holidays and I just cannot understand why it's bothering me so much, because it has nothing to do with me, she was very upset this morning, just because she really didn't want to go. Why am I being such a jerk?"

"You can't change how you feel Kara. Just talk to her about it. If anyone would be open about this situation, it's Lena."

Alex's words sank in slowly. It took me several seconds to realize that Alex was right. Of course, she's always right.

"Just call her tomorrow... and for now, if you want, I can keep you warm as soon as we're on the sofa watching a really bad horror movie. Seriously Kara, how're you not freezing?" Alex chuckled, playfully tugging at the hem of the oversized shirt I was wearing. I didn't want to, really, but feeling Alex fingers accidentally grazing my thigh did something to me I couldn't even describe.

I followed Alex to the couch, almost instantly curling up against her when she covered us with a blanket. I buried my face deep in the curve of her neck, sighing at the unique smell that just instantly makes me feel at ease very time. I remember listening to the sound of the remote as she zapped through the channels. Finally, she actually found a horror movie. I don't remember the name or anything else, really, I completely blocked it out, because it was that moment on the couch in our childhood living room, where I knew I would never feel like this with anyone else. Not even with Lena and it scared me to death.

Alex's right arm held me tight, her left hand was slowly stroking my right hand that rested on her stomach. Suddenly, I remembered all those times we had sat like this before, always close, always comfortable and caring. I remembered Alex tender touches, that were, although thoroughly innocent, intimate in an emotional way. Simply feeling Alex, hearing and feeling the blood pumping through her veins made my fears go away in an instant. I wonder, if someone had ever seen us like that, what that person might've thought about us. We looked like a couple. My thoughts tried to shift away, to a possible future and, again, to all those "What if" questions that had been haunting me ever since the night on her balcony. I managed to snap out of it though, remembering that we both had made a decision.

I fell asleep in her arms and until this very day I don't know if it had been a dream or if I really did wake up sometime later when she was asleep, too. I remember briefly pressing my lips to her neck though and it was the beginning of the inevitable desire that keeps haunting me ever since. It had been platonic all the way, but in that night, it changed for me.

I turn around, away from the window and the sunlit roofs of National City. Remembering that night makes me feel guilty. Maggie hasn't been the same either ever since, at least not to me. She found us in the morning, sleeping and lying in each others arms. Alex said she'd talked to Maggie about us before, but I'm not sure what exactly Maggie knows and if she knows the whole story. I cannot help but admire her strength and trust. Of course, we made a promise, but...

Two years after the christmas-incident there had been a moment in the DEO lab. I had been injured with kryptonite again and it left me in just my bra on the operating table with Alex's hands on me. We agreed on not calling Lena, because, really, it was nothing serious anyway, but I was so relieved she wasn't there, because whatever was going on there between Alex and me, it was so apparent.

I could see it in her eyes that were searching mine with worry in them, when she felt me tensing up after her hand came in contact with the bare skin of my stomach.

"Does it hurt?" she asked, of course, she thought she'd hurt me.

"No." I whispered back. "It's... it doesn't hurt."

A shade of confusion flashed over her face, but then she must've understood. I felt it in the way she put her hand back down on my stomach and hesitated for a moment before she started to move her palm over my skin softly stroking up around my rips to the wound that still held a small piece of kryptonite in it. I was trying to remember to breathe, both, out of the slight pain and of excitement. A blurry image of us lying in bed flashed before my eyes and just as I told myself to snap out of it, Alex blenched, standing up immediately. Her eyes searched the room, looking everywhere but at me. For a second I was left in shock as I watched her walking around the table.

"Alex..." I whispered, not knowing what to say. I could see in her eyes that she was terrified.

"I know, you're in pain... I'll get this out in a sec..."

"It's not..."

"I know Kara..." Alex exhaled as she removed the kryptonite. "I know."

Her movements stopped as she faced the floor again. It was the same Alex I'd seen sitting at my dining table years ago, the night she told me about her secret. She looked miserable.

"Where do we go from here?" I asked, slowly sitting up to have a better look at her. The Alex I knew would've searched my eyes and tell me something wise and true, but the bundle of pain I was looking at just shrugged and faced the floor.

"I don't know."

We kept it hidden, shoved it into the back of our heads. We focused on our relationships. Except for Maggie's suspicious looks that I had to face from time to time, it was almost just like nothing had ever happened. We didn't talk about it and kept our distance, physical distance that is. We were used to the platonic aspect of our love and that has never been a problem in the first place. I could love her while easily being in love with her and it had never been a painful thing until it started to get physically problematic. I cursed myself. I didn't want to hurt anybody, of all people I didn't want to hurt Lena. My gorgeous, beautiful and understanding Lena. I thought about telling her many times but chickened out in the last minute. I don't even know what I would've said. It's too late for that anyway now.

My eyes land on the couch in my living room. How many times we sat on this couch and how many times things were so uncomplicated. There hadn't been this overwhelming need that threatened to consume us with every second a little bit more. Things hadn't been painful in those "Sister nights" on my couch, until...

Earth-birthday last year. Maggie had insisted that Alex should spend the day with me. Just the two of us. Of course we didn't protest, more so because we didn't want to look like anything was wrong. I remember us sitting on opposite sides of my couch, each with our own bags of chips.

"This is ridiculous." Alex hissed out of a sudden. I didn't dare to move my eyes away from the TV, because I just knew I couldn't stand the look on her face, whatever look it might've been.

"I know." I mumbled.

"Look at me."

"I can't..."

I felt Alex shifting next to me, felt her warmth as the palm of her hand came in contact with my shoulder. I felt just like breaking into pieces. We hadn't touched at all in weeks and the sudden relief that flooded my body brought tears to my eyes.

"We can't go on like this..." Alex whispered. She was close, but not close enough. Instinctively I lifted my hand to cup hers.

"Will it ever go away?" I whispered back. It was what we had hoped for all these years. That it would magically go away someday, but the day had never come, it only grew to be even worse.

"I don't know... all I know is that I can't go on like this... I swore I wouldn't let it break us..."

Alex voice was smooth and I just realized how much I'd missed all of this, lying close to her, feeling her low voice and breath touching my cheek. I automatically leaned in, lifting her arm to put it around my shoulders.

We stayed like this for hours, never moving away from each other as the time flew by. It felt like an eternity, but at the same time it felt like even eternity wouldn't be long enough.

I shifted away a little when my back started to hurt and when I searched Alex's eyes a second later, I knew she felt the same way. We exchanged small chuckles and instantly lay down beside each other only to be close again.

I remember watching her chest rise and fall as my head lay on her shoulder. It was so quiet and peaceful, I could hear her heart beating, could even see the dust particles flying around.

"How can something that feels so right be any wrong?" I asked while my fingers boldly stroked over her stomach in small circles.

"We have good lives Kara. You have Lena... and I have Maggie... we should be lucky..." she whispered and, feeling the vibrations of her voice through her skin, I felt the need to press my lips to her neck again, but I didn't.

"We should be." I replied instead. Thinking of Lena made my heart clench. It's not that I didn't love her, but it was different with Alex. So much different.

She turned her head to me and pressed a small kiss on my forehead. When I looked up, I met her eyes that tried to tell me so much at once, but I felt it more than I could ever explain.

I raised my hand and cupped her cheek, slowly stroking along her jaw and her cheekbone as we kept looking at each other. It was then that I felt her arm pressing me into her just a little more. I watched her face, her delicate mouth as she opened it just a bit, but no words came out. Her breath was all over my face and just breathing it in felt like a revelation. For this moment, we were simply there, together, as soulmates. I remember I stopped thinking then, as time seemed to stop for us. I remember feeling light-headed and a strange tingling sensation that started in my stomach and claimed my body within seconds. I remember that we both leaned in and I remember that it was the perfect mixture between need, passion, softness and shyness that made this kiss as unique as it was. I had kissed many people and so did Alex, but this was beyond anything I ever witnessed and ever will witness.

It was just this one kiss on my couch, that may have as well lasted an eternity, honestly, I don't know, but we refused to talk about it, refused to make anything big out of it. We kept it there, in our hearts the whole time, week after week and month after month. From time to time we would seek each others presence, would hug a little too often, would stroke each others cheeks or kiss the other's forehead. People started to wonder and eventually, it was Lena that started a conversation about it.

It was Maggie's birthday, three months ago, when Lena came to me. She'd been drinking a little and maybe that was the reason for it. Of course, Alex and I stayed away from alcohol that night, because we didn't want to loose our precious control.

"I need you to answer a question for me." Lena asked as she dragged me out to the balcony.

"Anything you need, love." I replied. It was the tension in her shoulders that told me that whatever was to come would be a struggling situation.

"Five years ago, to the day, I promised you that I'd never give up on you." she whispered. I remember feeling goosebumps all over my body when she said it, but it was not because of what she said, it was the way she said it. Her voice carried a worry that I hadn't heard in years.

"I see the way you're acting lately... I don't know what happened between you and Alex, but you literally went from not-even-hugging-anymore to... I-don't-even-know-what to, but it's... I've been talking to Maggie and it's... we're not quite sure what's going on. Please tell me what's going on."

"I'm not sure I understand... what you mean."

"Don't do this to me Kara, don't lie to me. You're barely sleeping lately, I catch you smiling out of the sudden in the middle of a conversation, just when I think you weren't even listening. We still don't live together and we hadn't had proper sex in weeks, so don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about!"

"I don't even know what to say..."

"I'm trying here, Kara. Just as I promised, but I cannot do this without you. We're a team, remember?"

I still don't know what I told her that night. Anything but the truth and I still blame myself for it. Lena is one of the best things that have ever happened to me and we shared so much. I owe her so much and this is how I repay her.

I finally go back to my bed, slowly crawling into the sheets, that have gone cold, but they still smell like her. I cannot help but feel happy and sad at the same time. Everything has changed in just one night.