Two Weeks in a Mini-Van by Charismatic Enigma
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers Melee, Nintendo, a 1994 Toyota Camry LE Wagon, and this story was originally created by my old account SmashFan21. So don't say I stole it, because I'm him! I also don't own anything else I forgot to mention. (Wonders if disclaimer actually have a point)
-One morning, at Smash HQ-
Ness: Man, I'm bored!
Kirby: How about some TV?
Bowser: There's never anything good on.
Roy: We could always watch some-
Mario: No! We're not-a watching 'The Love Boat' again-a!
Roy: Aw...
Link swings his sword around randomly, accidentally hitting and fatally wounding Mr. Game & Watch.
Link: Oops.
Kirby: That's the second time this week Link!
Kirby drags the 2D corpse and sticks it in the paper shedder, and dumps the scraps into the basement where the Ice Climbers bodies were disposed of.
Young Link runs in from the Kitchen with a worried look on his face.
Young Link: Where's all the Lon-Lon Milk?
Yoshi: I think we're out...
Young Link stares and his eye starts twitching.
Young Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Darth Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tyson Tomko: No.
Will Smith: Aw hell naw.
Yoshi: What...the...hell...?
Ness: Hey guys, I just found some Lon-Lon Milk from under the couch-
Young Link swiftly whips out his boomerang, and throws it at the Lon-Lon Milk. It returns to him and he drinks the Lon-Lon Milk in just two gulps.
Ness: -that must be at least a month old...
Young Link runs to the bathroom after turning some shade of green.
Meanwhile, in Master Hand's Grand Spiffy Chamber of Hand...
Master Hand sighs.
Master Hand: Crazy, we need a new idea. It gets pretty old just watching them kill each other and come back to life and do it again.
Crazy Hand: I kNoW! wE cOuLd TaKe SeVeN oF tHeM, pUt ThEm In A 1994 ToYoTa CaMrY lE wAgOn, AnD mAkE sTaY iN iT wItH eAcH oThEr FoR tHrEe WeEkS!
Master Hand: Ok, first-
Master Hand snaps his fingers, and magically, Crazy Hand's text was normal.
Master Hand: -And second, that's got to be the worst idea since Smash Brothers guest-starring on Scooby Doo!
Flashback
Scooby: Roinks! A roast!
Link: Mmmm, a roast sound pretty good about now.
Mario: Posh-a! My-a pasta is sooooo much better than-a crappy roast!
Shaggy: He said, 'Zoinks! A ghost!'.
Popo: A ghost! Aieeeeeeeeeeeee! jumps into Mario's arms
Ness: Pffft, I've killed tons of zombies and ghosts. Well, technically I made them 'disappaear', but still.
Samus arms a missle and blows the ghost up.
Fred: Hey, you're not supposed to do that!
Samus: Why not? Why not just blow the thing up and be done?
Velma: What if it was a person pretending to be a ghost? It would be inhumane to kill!
Samus: Sucks to be him? No, nevermind, sucks to be you!
Samus fires a missle at all the Scooby Doo characters.
End Flashback
Master Hand: Wait a minute, lightbulb!
Ding!
Master Hand: We should take seven of them, put them in a 1994 Toyota Camry LE Wagon, and make them stay in it with each other fortwo weeks.
Crazy Hand: But I...Oh forget it. Good idea MH.
Master Hand: Now excuse me, I need to go get seven of them.
-Back at Smash HQ...-
Rico Suave is playing.
Ness: Rico.
Kirby: Suave.
Young Link: -random...uh...not English words-
Kirby: Rico.
Ness: Suave.
Young Link: Rico.
Kirby: Suave.
Young Link: -random not English-
Ness: Rico.
Young Link: Suave.
Kirby: Rico.
Ness: Suave.
Then, Samus decided to blow up the radio.
Ness: Noooooooooooo!
Kirby: Noooooooooooo!
Young Link: Nooooooooooooo!
Darth Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tyson Tomko: No.
Will Smith: Aw hell naw.
Master Hand poofs in.
Master Hand: Hi everyone!
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Master Hand: What? What is it? ZOMG IS IT A GHOST? AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Master Hand flys around in circles until he gets dizzy and hits a wall.
Master Hand clears his throat.
Master Hand: Anyway, I want seven of you to come outside into a 1994 Toyota Camry LE, and stay in it for two weeks. Youmay bring two choice items with you. Two people are in front, two in the middle, and three in back. Any volunteers?
Everyone promptly steps back, except for Luigi, who was digging into a bowl of pasta at the time.
Luigi: Huh?
Master Hand: Ah, Luigi! Thanks for volunteering! What will be your choice items, and where would you like to sit?
Luigi: Um, I'll bring-a my Nintendo DS and Mario Kart DS. I'll-a sit in the middle.
Ness: Hell, why not? I'll bring my baseball bat and a the EarthBound Guidebook so I can read about how much I rock.
Kirby: If Ness is going, I'll come too! I'll bring a jar of cookies and my cellphone. I'll sit in the back.
Young Link: If you guys are going, I'll tag along. I'll bring a twelve-pack of Lon-Lon Milk and my Boomerang. I'll sit in the last seat in the back.
Mario is then poked by Link's sword, and he jumps up.
Mario: Ouch!
Master Hand: Mario! What will you bring, and where will you sit?
Mario: Wha? I'll get you-a for this, Link! Um, I'll-a sit in the middle and bring my Nintendo DS and Mario Kart DS so I-a can own Luigi!
Roy: I'll sit in the passanger seat and bring my sword and an extra pair of socks.
Master Hand: Why a pair of socks?
Roy: I don't know, I just have a feeling I might need them.
Master Hand: Ok, whatever man...Anyone else?
Samus: I will join in this little contest. I'll sit in the driver's seat and bring my Power Suit and a pack of bubblegum.
Master Hand: Why gum?
Samus: Because AHM KICKIN ASS AND CHEWIN BUBBLEGUM, AND AHM ALL OUTTA BUBBLEGUM!
Master Hand: ...The car is outside...
Roy: Say, what does the winner get?
Master Hand: (thinking: Damn! I nearly got away without paying this time!) Two million dollars/gold/whatever.
All: Oooooooohhhh...
Ness: So, how do we go about winning?
Master Hand: Every once in a while, I'll poof in and there will be some sort of contest, and if you win, you can't be voted out of the car.
Roy: Geez, what is this, Survivor?
Master Hand: N-no, I'm not ripping anything off! Nothing!
Master Hand snaps his fingers and all the Smashers are teleported to the car.
-To be continued-
A/N: After the end of the story, I'm going to add a little chapter to talk about changes, additions, and subtractions from the original Two Weeks in a Mini-Van story. Also look out for a revision of Link Fights Random People.