Fili liked to believe that he knew his uncle well.
Of course, the dwarven king was so guarded that it was unlikely that anyone could ever truly get under his skin and discover which of his many masks was genuine. He, however, had grown up while loving the man like a father and had witnessed his uncle's harsh façade soften on several occasions. For every moment where Thorin was cruel or irrational in his actions, Fili could recall a moment where the dwarven king had offered him comfort or sang him to sleep.
It sometimes unnerved him to think of how often he'd had to rely on those memories purely to remind himself that Thorin could be a good man. On their recent quest alone, Fili had glimpsed an unknown stranger in his uncle's demeanour more times than he'd like to count. He wasn't the only one it would seem; one would have to be blind to miss the disbelief in Bilbo's eyes as he was told stories of Thorin's kindness during his nephews' childhood.
However, Fili had accepted deep down that his worries were most likely unjustified. Thorin had every reason to be colder and harsher in manner of late. Enemies prowled at every corner – the most ferocious lying in wait within the very home they were trying to reclaim – and they could trust nobody with the details of their quest for fear they'd seek out the gold for themselves. Fili imagined that if he was forced to possess even a crumb of the responsibility that weighed heavily on his uncle then he would probably have become cruel as well.
This knowledge had been enough to crush down many of his concerns. Besides, as their journey dragged on they were all becoming rather bitter and irritable and so Fili eventually blamed the tension of their quest and anticipated that it would melt away upon their arrival at Erebor. Maybe then he'd be able to recognise his friends and allies once again.
And yet, here they were. Guarded by the long-neglected halls of their fortress with the dragon slain and their gold reclaimed. The elder members of their company had changed, certainly, but at first Fili had put it down to the relief at their journey's completion. That was until he saw it peel back into something that disturbed Fili more than anything else.
They were becoming swallowed by greed and their lust for gold and it had twisted them beyond recognition. He supposed that he could have endured that knowledge had he not had to watch his uncle fall prey to such a fate.
Neither Fili nor Kili could possibly understand the soft lure of so much gold. They had both been born in the midst of famine and had never known the luxuries that they should have inherited from their ancestors. They had been content with the little they owned. Perhaps that was what rendered them immune to the gold-lust while those who had previously tasted such wealth had willingly dived into the pile. After all, while the others scoured for gold and trinkets the brothers had been drawn towards two magical harps instead.
Fili had nothing against his new-found wealth. He simply would have preferred it if the gold was not so powerful that it alienated the very people he'd once thought of as strong-willed.
Contrary to what he'd grown to suspect of his uncle's drastic mood-swings, Thorin's greed persisted with a vengeance and Fili grew more and more exasperated. The final straw had landed upon Bilbo's banishment where it became clear that his uncle was willing to risk a devastating battle purely for the sake of both a jewel and his pride.
Fili had grown used to many sides of his uncle – some tolerable, some not so much – but this was a new man altogether. And that frightened him more than the prospect of battle ever could.
Or perhaps this wasn't new. Perhaps Fili had simply been lying to himself when he tried to think of his uncle as a good man underneath that cold exterior. For all he knew the kindness that he remembered so clearly was simply another illusion. The man before him today was merely an embodiment of all the rage and torment and need for revenge that he had naively excused beforehand. If his interactions with the elves were any indication, Thorin's sheer build-up of revenge and the pain of his many losses could be used as a more powerful currency in a debate than all of the gold stored in their mountain. It certainly had more influence behind it.
As tempted as he was to confront his uncle over his growing irrationality however, Fili's involvement was limited to simply observing the action from the side-lines. He was aware of how cowardly this made him seem but due to the equally subdued reactions from the others he was no more a coward than they were. In fact, those that stood idly by seemed to be among the sane ones. There were those that were so involved in their own greed that they actively encouraged every one of Thorin's blinded decisions as if his changed attitude was completely normal.
Actually, this was what Fili found most terrifying. If the members of the company who had known Thorin since his youth were acting like his recent attitudes were a refreshing return to form then who, exactly, had helped raise Fili since the moment he was born?
Only two answers came to mind. Either the man he'd known was a mere echo of the young prince or he'd simply been another mask.
Fili wasn't sure which was less bearable. All he could do was hope that this faze his uncle was experiencing would make way for a familiar rationality sometime soon.