A/N

So as stated in the description this is based off of a kink meme prompt which I started to fill quite some time ago. I didn't want to upload it to anything other than the kink meme until I knew for sure the direction I would take this story in and that I would definitely have the time and drive to work on it (at least in the short term with a few more chapters). It will not run as a day-by-day account of Hawke and Sebastian's interactions. Some chapters will focus on one moment, as this first one does, others will touch on multiple instances and have no real main interaction that they are centered around like this. Also, this is not beta-read so any faults in grammar, spelling, or general lack of writing skill are mine. Story title taken from "The Ladder" by Andrew Belle. Chapter title taken from "Breathe Me" by Sia. If anyone wants to see the initial kink meme prompt it's here dragonage-kink . livejournal 10749 . html?thread=41948413#t41948413

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age/Bioware. If I did Sebastian would be bi like everyone else.

The darkness in the Chantry served Sebastian well as he huddled himself near the front doors. He avoided his usual spot upon the pulpit, wishing to be as far away from Grand Cleric Elthina and the golden visage of Andraste that stood, always strong and proud at the end of the Chantry hall.

Usually, by now, he would be reciting his morning prayers, but all the hymns and verses he had found solace in rang hollow in his head. He had been faithful in his service, his duty, to the Maker. Forsaken any rights as a noble, any chance of the life he might have had in Starkhaven before and strived to repent for his follies, yet He had abandoned Sebastian without a family and Starkhaven without a King.

"Your family can rest now. Their killers are gone." A gruff voice, deliciously rough in its foreign lilt broke through his reverie. Cobalt eyes met brown and Sebastian furrowed his brow slightly in curiosity at the man standing before him.

A messy arrangement of ebony hair sat atop the man's head, with a gruff yet groomed beard that suited his voice rather well, Sebastian could not help but note. Wisps fell in front of those eyes that looked so warm and full of understanding that Sebastian could not help the hitch in his breathe. Even Elthina – the woman who had raised him in his new life, a woman who had taught him patience and virtue and conviction as if she were a replacement for the parents that had cast him from Starkhaven - when faced with the news of his family's slaughter could muster no more than a soft, pitying look before offering a stern reminder that 'the Maker has a plan for all of us'.

All the elegant words that had been ingrained in him since birth failed him as he sputtered out a reply. "Excuse me, who are-?" He paused for a moment, his eyes widening in realisation. "My post to the Chanters' Board? Did her Grace let that stay?" Chancing a glance up at the pulpit, he saw Elthina's eyes fixed upon him and the stranger. Strangers, he realised as he looked back. A Rivaini woman with long legs and a cutting smile that made a flush come to his cheeks as she raked her eyes up and down him, and two elves, one male, one female, both covered in strange markings though he could find no similarities in the designs. Guilt panged in the pit of his stomach and it must have shown for the man in front of him furrowed his brow in concern. "I thought for sure no one even read..." He muttered in an attempt to stop the man from staring at him so, well, intensely. It was making him even more uncomfortable than the suggestive twinkle in the Rivaini's eyes. "But you say you've killed them?"

A soft smile graced the handsome (handsome? Why in Thedas had that entered his mind?) man's face as he gave a small nod in confirmation. Sebastian cleared his throat and adopted the proud stance he had worn so easily when he had still been a Prince and fixed the other man with a firm, appraising gaze while his companions milled around the entrance of the Chantry (the male elf propping himself against the opposite wall and staring resolutely at the floor while the other elf chatted animatedly with the dark-skinned human woman). "You have my eternal gratitude, Serah! It is comforting to think my parents might now rest easily in their graves." It was only half a lie. To know that justice had been served was a comfort – perhaps the Maker had not forsaken him and instead sent this man as divine punishment for the mercenary scum that had murdered every man, woman and child that shared his blood. However, it still was not right. Not what he wanted. It did not bring any of them back, nor allow him to make amends after cutting them out of his life for so long – bitter at first for their willingness to give him away, the unwanted, unneeded third child, and then distracted from his loathing by his newfound devotion to the Maker and His teachings.

"I... I hope their deaths bring you peace." The man seemed much smaller in that moment, a dark, sorrowful look crossing his face that caused an ache to echo in Sebastian's heart.

He extended a gloved hand to the man in front of him, forcing a smile onto his features. It was odd, how he wanted to reach out to comfort this man - for what, he could not be sure – while grieving himself for something he could not discern had been his to lose. Truly, the only person in his family he had been close to was his grandfather, his brothers nurturing the necessary rivalries required of royalty and his parents having never wanted more than 'the heir and the spare'. Starkhaven, too, had never been entitled to him, unless under the most grievous of circumstances. "Thank you. More than I can say. I truly did not expect anyone but me to take up this cause."

The stranger glanced down at Sebastian's hand briefly before returning his gaze to eye-level, his line-of-sight flicking searchingly over Sebastian's features in a way that made him feel both vulnerable and yet excited. It felt as if he wanted to lay himself bare before this dark looking man with such a benevolent light in his eye and let him see all that he was and had been. The whoremongerer; the disgrace to the Vael family name; the fallen Prince and now a Brother who had discarded his vows. The way he looked at Sebastian made him feel as though he would see all of this and never judge him for it.

Warm and gentle, a hand slipped into his own and he could not help the smile that came to his lips, bemused and wondering as he shook it how a grip could be so firm yet so gentle at the same time. His fingertips explored the skin beneath them for the briefest of moments. Calloused palms caused wonderful friction against the small scars that criss-crossed his fingers from years of stringing a bow, but all too soon the hand was gone and a flush creeped up Sebastian's tanned cheeks as he realised the rather strange path down which his thoughts had wandered.

He dropped his hand as if burned and began to fumble with his belt, attempting to release the purse of coin that was tied at his side. "Consider this an advance." He said, trying to regain his composure as he held it out towards the man in front of him. "When I have secured my lands again, you will be paid royally."

A soft chuckle escaped the tall figure before him and once again he felt the man's hand clasp around his own, pushing the coin back until it rested lightly against his armoured chest. "I have no need for money. Not for this." Sebastian could not help the way his mouth formed a small, questioning 'o' shape as he heard a whine of protest from the Rivaini woman who seemed to return her attention to the conversation as soon as payment had been brought up. Kind eyes simply stared back at him, a soft smile curving his lips as he released Sebastian from his gentle hold and turned away, his fellows forming around him as if waiting to follow his lead.

"Wait!" He held out a hand in protest at their retreating backs, the stranger gracing him with a look over his shoulder and an eyebrow raised in question. "Your name?" He muttered, clearing his throat before delivering the question again, trying to sound more authoritative and less like a desperate fool. "I would know your name, serah. If you will not accept pay then I... I would pray for your good fortune."

Another chuckle escaped the man though Sebastian could see something in his eyes that was not quite amusement. "Hawke. Though I doubt the Maker would listen for me." He nodded his head once more in farewell before pushing open the door, his companions following him outside.

"Hawke." He repeated to himself, testing the way his tongue formed it. It was sharp, yet noble. A fitting name, the Prince decided, and turned from the doors to go to his quarters and gather the petition for aid he intended to present to the Viscount. A name to be remembered, he thought, and without knowing why a small smile graced his lips. For the rest of that day that name and the man it belonged to refused to leave his thoughts.

A/N

As I've said I have the basic outline of the way this story will run and end but if you happen to have a little scene you'd like to see (a certain mission? Interaction of Hawke or Sebastian with another character?) let me know. Also Anders hasn't made an appearance yet and Fenris/Isabela/Merrill's appearances were cameos at best but they will play larger roles in coming chapters, along with maybe some other characters (I do so wish to add Varric but I worry about getting his characterisation right).