Hey guys. This is my first story, so please be nice. Now, this is an alternate universe where there is different things then in the canon My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic universe. Lastly, this chapter is based on the pilot of 30 Rock.
(Twilight Sparkle walks into a fancy restaurant. She walks up to the Maitre D.)
Twilight Sparkle:Hi. Twilight, party of six. I think the other five got here ahead of me.
(Maitre D looks at her clipboard.)
Maitre D:Ah, . Yes, your five friends got here ahead of you. Please, this way.
(Maitre D leads Twilight to her table.)
Maitre D:Let me ask you something. If you thought the rest of your party would get here before you, why did you put the party in your name?
Twilight Sparkle:I agreed to pay.
Maitre D:You have horrible friends, . Here is your table.
Twilight Sparkle(as she sits down):Hi girls.
(Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity say hi to Twilight.)
Rainbow Dash:Where have you been?
Pinkie Pie:We've been waiting for you for like an hour.
Twilight Sparkle:Sorry. I was studying.
Rarity:That studying is going to be the death of you someday.
Pinkie Pie:Wait, that could happen?
Rarity:Sigh. No.
Applejack(murmuring):I told you that you've gotta word what you say carefully around her.
Twilight Sparkle:So, Applejack, how are you holding up, being in a fancy place like this?
Applejack:The fancy water they give tastes funny and I wish I was dead.
Fluttershy:Yeah, but your hair looks pretty.
Applejack(sarcastically):Thanks.
Fluttershy:You're welcome.
Rarity(murmuring):She seriously does not get sarcasm.
Applejack(murmuring):No she does not.
(A waiter comes along.)
Waiter:Six glasses of champaign?
Twilight Sparkle(to the girls):Did you order this?
Rainbow Dash:Yeah.
Twilight Sparkle:Thanks. Just another thing I have to pay for.
Fluttershy:Sorry.
Rarity:You do have to admit, with the occasion, it does seem appropriate to get champaign.
Twilight Sparkle:Yeah.
Rainbow Dash:I mean, we all became friends three years ago.
Fluttershy:That does seen like a special occasion.
Twilight Sparkle:OK. OK.
Pinkie Pie:I wonder if anything will change in the future for us.
Applejack:I guess we'll have to see.
Twilight Sparkle:I propose a toast. To three magical years and hopefully many more.
(All six of them clink their champaign glasses and drink it.)
Fluttershy:I'm drunk. I'm drunk. (While shaking Applejack.) I'm drunk.
Pinkie Pie:Seriously, I feel like a change is coming.
Twilight Sparkle:Your tail telling you that?
Pinkie Pie:Yes.
Twilight Sparkle:Oh.
Rainbow Dash:Maybe the change will start soon.
Applejack:Maybe it's starting right now.
Twilight Sparkle:Who knows?
Freak Lad:What do you mean your ending my show?
(Freak Lad is talking to his boss, Charming Dew.)
Charming Dew:It's only been three episodes and your show already has some of the worst reviews any show on our network has ever received.
Freak Lad:That's only because we have to establish the story. Once we do that, we can make all the action promised in the trailers.
Charming Dew:Look, you may be one of this network's most valuable writers, you may have three Faust Awards...
Freak Lad:Four, but go on.
Charming Dew:But you make one show that horribly crashes and burns for every five that last well past the first season. You may have made The Bad Lands Of Equestria, but you also made The Captain's Dream.
Freak Lad:That one at least lasted one full season before it tanked.
Charming Dew:My point is, unless you pitch me a show that could last for a long time, even if the main actor dies, then I'm afraid I have no choice but to fire you right now.
Freak Lad:Well, there is an idea that has been going about in my head for a while. A sketch comedy show starring all girls.
Charming Dew:Hmm. If it's funny, then it would attract males, but the all girls cast would attract females. I like it. Only one rule: you must have a bare minimum of six cast members.
Freak Lad:Sounds reasonable. One question though: Can the girls play boys in some sketches?
Charming Dew:Of course. What would a sketch comedy show be without male characters?
Freak Lad:Perfect.
Charming Dew:Now, for the cast. They have to be diverse, loyal, and have extremely marketable faces.
Freak Lad:Of course. How long do I have to find these girls?
Charming Dew:You have until this building closes tomorrow to find me my girls.
Freak Lad:But that gives me only a little over 24 hours.
Charming Dew:You told me when you were writing your hit show The Wandering Princess that you work best under pressure.
Freak Lad:I was high when I said that.
Charming Dew:Drugs only make us say what is true, but we are holding back. Drugs making me tell the truth was why I got divorced the fourth time.
Freak Lad:Are you sure that it wasn't because you were addicted to Marijuana back then?
Charming Dew:Absurd. She had no idea about that. Look, I would give you more time, but there are inspiring new writers who want their good shows to be made. Either you get me a cast of at least six diverse, loyal, and marketably-faced girls or you get replaced by Roller Rhythm and her show, Arachnophobia. Now shoo.
(Freak Lad leaves and goes back to his apartment. He is greeted by his brother, Freak Bro.)
Freak Bro:Hey bro.
Freak Lad:Hey. How's the job search going?
Freak Bro:Heh. Please. Hey, I made lasagna.
(Freak Bro refers to a pan and Freak Lad looks inside.)
Freak Lad:That's lasagna?
Freak Bro:OK fine. It's almost lasagna.
Freak Lad:Great. Just what I wanted for dinner tonight.
(Freak Lad collapses onto the couch.)
Freak Bro:What's wrong?
Freak Lad:I have 24 hours to find six girls who are diverse, loyal, and have marketable faces or else I'm fired.
Freak Bro:Well that's an issue. Listen, I'm sure you'll figure it out. You always do. Now, how about we watch some TV?
(Freak Bro turns on the TV. He finds the show Local Stories.)
Freak Lad: What's this show?
Freak Bro:Local Stories. It's where, each episode, they get different local girls from throughout Equestria to play characters, who change each episode. Oh wait, this was last week's episode.
(Freak Lad looks at the TV and notices the actor on screen.)
Freak Lad:Wait, isn't that my old high school friend Shining Armor's sister?
Freak Bro:Sure looks like her.
Freak Lad:And her acting is good in this episode?
Freak Bro:Yeah.
(Freak Lad runs into his bedroom and gets out a photo album labeled "My High School Buddy". He runs back into his living room and finds a picture of Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity.)
Freak Lad:This is a picture of her and her friends that Shining Armor sent me not too long ago. You would define them as diverse and faces that are marketable, right?
Freak Bro:If not, then call me mayor of Crazy Town.
Freak Lad:Bro, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Freak Bro:Depends. Are you thinking about making out with her?
Freak Lad:No.
Freak Bro:Then we are certainly not thinking the same thing, my nerdy brother.
(Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity are leaving the restaurant.)
Twilight Sparkle:Do you all want to go to a dance club?
Applejack:Nah. It's late.
Rarity:Also, I think Fluttershy had too much to drink.
Fluttershy:You owe me reinstitution!
Rainbow Dash:I'll walk her home, make sure she doesn't get herself killed. Good night.
(Everybody says good night, except Fluttershy, who mutters "I am so wasted." Twilight walks into her house.)
Spike:Twilight, you got a letter.
Twilight Sparkle:From whom?
Spike:From Freak Lad.
Twilight Sparkle:The TV show writer?
Spike:Yeah.
Twilight Sparkle:What does he want?
Spike:Read the letter and see.
(Spike hands Twilight the letter.)
Freak Lad's Letter:Dear Twilight Sparkle, I have a preposition for you and your friends. I say you on Local Stories and I see potential in you. Come meet me at the diner on 1st Street tomorrow at noon. And bring your friends.
Twilight Sparkle:Alright, Freak Lad. I'll meet you. I'll tell the girls tomorrow.
(Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity all walk into the diner at noon the next day.)
Freak Lad:Twilight, over here.
(Twilight Sparkle spots Freak Lad sitting one stool. Twilight and her friends sit next to him.)
Freak Lad:Twilight, it is nice to meet you.
Twilight Sparkle(shaking Freak Lad's hand):Nice to meet you too.
Freak Lad:I'm glad you came. Are these your friends?
Twilight Sparkle:Yes. Freak Lad, this is Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity.
(They all say hi.)
Freak Lad:What's wrong with your yellow friend?
Fluttershy:I'm hung over.
Twilight Sparkle:So, what did you call us here for?
Freak Lad:Well, I have this idea for a sketch comedy show with an all girl cast and I was hoping you and your friends would be that cast.
(All of the girls show amazement.)
Fluttershy:Shhh. Loud noises make my head hurts.
Twilight Sparkle:And you wanted to ask us because of my performance on Local Stories?
Freak Lad:Yeah. What do you think?
Twilight Sparkle:I don't know. It sounds great, but I'm not sure if I can be in a comedy show.
Freak Lad:Twilight, any idiot can act. Sure, with movies, comedy is hard. But, with television shows, expectations are often low, so TV shows often make people laugh more.
Twilight Sparkle:Don't you think we should at least audition?
Freak Lad:Of course. Try to make me laugh on the car ride back to the studio. All of you. If you can, you've got the part.
Twilight Sparkle:You're real spontaneous, aren't you?
Freak Lad:You'll learn that about me.
Rainbow Dash:Sounds like a good idea to me, but I have a better idea.
Freak Lad:And what is that?
(Freak Lad, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity are at a dance club.)
Twilight Sparkle:And then he said, "That's the wrong one!"
(They all crack up.)
Freak Lad:Man, this audition got way more fun after we all got drunk.
Fluttershy:I didn't get drunk.
Rainbow Dash:No. You have been cut off after last night.
Freak Lad:You know, everybody here has made me laugh except Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash:You know, she has a hilarious dance.
Freak Lad:Oh, you've gotta do that.
Fluttershy:I don't know.
Rainbow Dash:Oh, come on.
Fluttershy:Oh, OK.
(They all cheer. Fluttershy then does a dance that makes them all crack up.)
Freak Lad:That was great. Guess what? You all passed your auditions!
Applejack:That is great, because we accept the job, right girls?
(They all heartily agree, except Fluttershy, who just mutters "Sounds great.")
Freak Lad:That's great. Let's all dance.
(They all get up and dance.)
(Two hours later.)
Freak Lad:Man, when that dude had a heart attack, I really sobered up.
(All the girls agree that they sobered up too.)
Freak Lad:And now that I'm sober, I'm having second thoughts about hiring you girls. I mean, I only hired you because it was either you or the unemployment line.
Twilight Sparkle:Oh come on. I'm actually excited about doing this.
Rarity:Yeah.
Fluttershy:I may not be showing it, but I'm excited.
Freak Lad:I don't know.
Rainbow Dash(impersonating Nicholas Cage):Really? You're having second thoughts? I make all of my decisions impulsively. Do that and you can't go bad. Right, Christopher Walken?
Fluttershy(impersonating Christopher Walken):Right. I think that you should hire us or you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
Freak Lad:That was fantastic!
Rainbow Dash:We spent an entire afternoon learning how to do that.
Freak Lad:You are all hired.
(They all say "We accept". Freak Lad looks at his watch.)
Freak Lad:Oh dang! I only have one hour to get back to the studio or I'm fired! Come on!
(They pay for their drinks and run out.)
(50 Minutes Later, they made it to the studio. 3 minutes Later, they made it inside the studio. A minute later, they made it inside an elevator. 4 minutes later, they made it into Charming Dew's office.)
Freak Lad:Here. Here are your six girls. They are diverse, they are loyal, and if you tell me that they don't have marketable faces, then paint me pink and parade me around the building.
Charming Dew:Have you been drinking?
Freak Lad:The point is that I have the cast of girls.
Charming Dew:While I will admit that it was gripping how you showed up at the last minute with one of the people who was on Local Stories and five other people, we have to audition them.
Freak Lad:Got that covered. Everything they gave me at the dance club was funny.
Charming Dew:Ah. So you have been drinking!
Freak Lad:OK, but that's besides the point. The point is, give them a chance.
Twilight Sparkle(impersonating Taylor Swift):Come on. Give us a chance. The world is pretty.
Charming Dew:That was amazing. Write a pilot episode and this show will get made.
Freak Lad:Thank you. And don't worry, the pilot episode will come soon. You may remember that my show Dueling Dragons made a lot of episodes very fast.
Charming Dew: I recall that show sucking.
Freak Lad:OK. Bad example.
(Freak Lad, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity leave the room. They get onto an elevator and get out on the 1st floor.)
Freak Lad:Great job, girls. You are now the stars of a TV show.
(They all start cheering until Spike comes in.)
Spike:What's going on, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle:Spike, what are you doing here?
Spike:You texted me a picture of your butt. I know that that's code for "I'm drunk. Please get me to take me home."
Twilight Sparkle:Yeah, well I'm fine now. But guess what?
Spike:They finally invented chocolate flavored stamps?
Twilight Sparkle:No, but that's a good idea. No, me and the girls all got cast in a sketch comedy show.
Spike(unenthusiastically):Oh. That's cool.
Twilight Sparkle:Spike, you sound about as convincing as when you said you liked The Notebook. What's wrong?
Spike:I don't know. Maybe because you all got cast in a TV sketch comedy show, which you know is my favorite type of TV show, but you don't even include me.
Twilight Sparkle:You don't know that I wasn't going to include you.
Spike:Were you?
Twilight Sparkle:Um...
Freak Lad(whispering):I got this. (Normal voice to Spike.) Now Spike, say if I were to give you an internship here and I asked you to get me a burger, what would you say?
Spike:You want cheese on it?
Freak Lad:Yes.
Spike:What kind?
Freak Lad:Brie.
Spike:How would you like your burger cooked?
Freak Lad:Congratulations Spike. You are hired as an intern. Now, why don't you get us some coffee.
(Spike chuckles.)
Freak Lad:No, I'm serious.
Spike:Oh.
(Spike gets coffee for everybody.)
Twilight Sparkle:I'd like to propose a toast to this wonderful change in our lives.
(Everybody clinks their cups together and drinks their coffee, except for Fluttershy, who's cup was knocked out of her hand by Rainbow Dash.)
Rainbow Dash:If you don't like her when she's drunk, you won't like her when she's had coffee.
Fluttershy:It's true.
Freak Lad:Alright, we all had a long day. We should get home and get some sleep.
Twilight Sparkle:Wanna share an elevator?
Freak Lad:Sounds good.
(They all get in an elevator and go to the first floor.)
(Freak Lad walks into his apartment to find Freak Bro playing Halo.)
Freak Bro:Hey. How was work?
Freak Lad:Great. I not only didn't lose my job, I got to get wasted while I did it.
Freak Bro:I need your job.
Freak Lad:Speaking of which, job hunt?
Freak Bro:Heh. Please.
Freak Lad:Now I just wanna lie down for a while before I have to write.
Freak Bro:Great. While you can do that, I can tell you about this dream I had last night.
Freak Lad:No way, no how.
Freak Bro:Come on. It involves Taylor Swift and Master Chief from Halo.
Freak Lad:Really?
Freak Bro:Yeah.
Freak Lad:Mind if I wrote the dream down, like a therapist?
Freak Bro:Sure.
Freak Lad:Great.
(Freak Lad opens the notepad app on his iPod.)
Freak Lad:Go ahead.
Freak Bro:So, Taylor Swift is performing in concert when Master Chief comes onto the stage and starts making out with her.
(Freak Bro keeps rambling about his dream while Freak Lad wrote it down on his iPod, while he said "This is going to make a hilarious cold open.")
I hope you enjoyed my story. If you didn't like it, then leave some constructive criticism.