Story that jumped to mind. Sort of AU. But not completely. The timing of the rape is based on her comment to Parker in season 3. Shelly Pomroy end of year party 2004. Why? Because it's the one I remember more clearly. I always thougth it had been at the end of the school year anyway.
Don't own Veronica Mars. Please read and review.
She doesn't return to school.
After the party. After having her innocence stolen from her. She doesn't return to school. There's only a week left anyway. What does it matter. On Saturday she feels dirty. Guilty. She's sure everyone can sees what happened to her by looking at her.
She spends almost the entire day in the shower.
If her dad noticed he didn't say a word. He spend most of the day working anyway. On Sunday she goes to church. She hasn't been inside a church since her best friend died. But she goes that day. She goes because she needs forgiveness.
The priest tells her it's not her fault. She doesn't believe him.
On Monday she goes to Lilly.
She leaves the house just like every morning. She's sure her father thinks she went to school. Or he knows she didn't. It doesn't matter. He says nothing. She goes to Lilly because she needs her best friend. She needs somebody to listen to her.
Even if she's just talking to a stone.
She wants to believe that somehow Lilly can hear her. She wants to believe she's all alone. She stays there until school is out. Then she goes back home. She cooks her father diner and showers yet again. For once she really doesn't care about the cold water. Her father still doesn't say anything. He either doesn't notice her strange behavior. Or he thinks she'll open up eventually.
The only one she wants to talk to is dead. The others don't care.
She's alone.
On Tuesday she stays home.
Her father tells her in the morning he'll be out all day. And so she stays home. She doesn't have the strength to get out of bed. No strength to fight anymore. She doesn't even really care if her father finds out. It's not like it truly matters. The exams are over. The year is almost at an end.
The worst year of her life.
She spends the rest of the day cleaning out her closet. Cleaning her room. Going trough pictures and clothes. Clothes of a happier innocent person. A person that had not been attacked. A person that had not been destroyed. Pictures of a happier time. A picture of the four of them makes her cry.
She doesn't know if Duncan and Logan have noticed that she is not at school.
She's sure they don't care.
On Wednesday she almost goes to school.
Almost being the keyword. She gets up. Gets dressed. Eats breakfast with her father. Wishes him a good day. Gets in a car and drives to school. She stops about a block away. She can't do it. Can't go to that school. Can't walk trough those hallways knowing he is there.
Knowing he is watching her.
She turns the car around and drives away. She ends up on the beach. She knows that if her father walks by he'll see her. She doesn't care. She sits there staring at the ocean for a long time. She doesn't move. She doesn't say anything to anyone. She just sits there.
It's almost like she isn't really there. She's a ghost of the girl she once was.
A girl no one will remember.
On Thursday she returns to Lilly.
She wants to be close to her best friend. She only stays there for the morning. During lunch she gets a surprise visitor. Suddenly Jake Kane is there. It's the first time they stand face to face since that fateful night. They have seen each other. But they haven't talked.
He has lost his daughter. She has lost her live.
He offers to buy her lunch. At first she wants to say no. She almost sees it as a betrayal. Towards her father. But she is hungry. And sitting here for the rest of the day can't be healthy. She ends up going to lunch with him. She is sure it is the most uncomfortable lunch ever. Jake is nice though. He offers her help. Tells her to call him if she needs him.
She doesn't know why. She tells him she will. She walks away.
This is not how she expected her life would turn out.
On Friday she returns to school.
But only because it's the last day. And she has to get her stuff. She has to pick up her rapport card. She's so sure she failed. She didn't. She passed. She thinks that most teacher probably let them pass out of pity. Because of all they have been trough. Veronica, Logan and Duncan.
She doesn't see them till lunch.
Logan looks her in the eye for the first time since Lilly died. It's almost as if he's looking for someone. You don't stay there to find out what he wants. You run. You're sure that one comment will be enough to break you. You see Duncan on your way inside. In his eyes you see pity. Pity and love and guilt.
You don't understand why he feels those things. Sometimes you think you should have asked.
You don't.
Saturday passes in a blur.
You can't remember what happened. Nor what you did that day. If you ran into Logan or Duncan you can't remember. You don't know what you talked about. You just went trough that day. You can't remember anything anymore.
You just want to die. Your strength have finally left you.
On Sunday you realize you can't do this.
You can't stay here. You can't breath here. You can't live here. You pack a bag. In it you put clothes. And some stuff that you have to take with you. Stuff you can't leave behind. You write a note to your father. You leave your cell phone behind. You tell him not to worry. You ask him not to look for you. You promise you will come back.
Your' not sure you'll be able to keep that promise.
You get in your car and drive away. You stop at the graveyard. You visit her grave one more time. Then you walk away. You know that wherever you go Lilly will go with you. You drive out of town without looking back. You don't know if you'll ever return.
You are now leaving Neptune. Thank you for your visit.