Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.
FADE IN:
INT. BING'S NEW HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY
CHANDLER BING and MONICA GELLER (BING) watch in awe as their newly adopted children play together on the floor.
CHANDLER
Look at them...so cute, so lovable, so-
One hits the other with an alpahbet block and erupts with somewhat of an evil laughter.
CHANDLER (CON'T)
-EVIL!
MONICA
Oh my God! What should we do?
By now, the other child is in tears.
CHANDLER
I don't know. Reprimand them I guess.
MONICA
Okay. Seems easy enough...
Monica stands and picks up a fly swatter, pointing it at the disobedient child.
MONICA
Listen up!
She looks at Chandler as if asking 'what to do next'. The CHILDREN now silent, staring, awaiting some kind of verbal command.
CHANDLER
Geez Mon, I said 'reprimand'. Not become Fuhrer of the
Third Reich.
Chandler nonchalantly takes the fly swatter from Monica.
CHANDLER (CON'T)
Let's try this.
He kneels down beside the bad child and stares as if thinking what to say next. The child picks up another block and knocks it across Chandler's head.
The evil laugh returns.
CHANDLER (CON'T)
Okay, your turn, Mon.
Chandler stands and walks away rubbing his head. Monica stares at him with a blank expression.
MONICA
My turn? You've got to be kidding me! You're
supposed to be the father figure!
She stares at Chandler for a short moment. THIS IS THE SAME CHANDLER SHE'S ALWAYS KNOWN. Chandler continues to rub his head.
MONCIA (CON'T)
(erupts in hysterical laughter)
I almost fooled myself for a minute there!
CHANDLER
Very funny.
The two huddle together as they slowly back away from the children. Far enough away to whisper without being heard, they devise a plan.
CHANDLER
What are we gonna do? They're monsters! I mean, look
at them-
The both look. Two innocent children, sitting, staring, and waiting. Just patiently waiting for mommy and daddy to make their next move.
MONICA
Okay, this is what we're going to do! You grab-
CHANDLER
-wait, wait! Wait a minute! I'm not grabbing anyone. Those blocks
hurt!
MONICA
Fine, I'll do it myself!
Monica takes charge (as usual) and advances towards the children. ANOTHER BLOCK flies through the air in slow motion. Monica tries to duck, but is too slow
as the wooden LETTER 'C' crashes against the floorhead, knocking her to the floor.
In a state of rage and total MONICA COMPETITION, she grabs the block and-
MONICA
Why you little-!
-Chandler grabs her hand.
CHANDLER
Honey, do you really wanna go to war with our demon child?
Chandler calm with every syllable seems to immediately subdue her enraged state.
MONICA
No.
CHANDLER
Then don't. Put down the block.
Slowly, Monica sets the block down, giving in to Chandler's demands. The children stare, returning innocent smiles to their newfound parents.
CHANDLER
See, it's not that bad. Look at them. Like I said, so cute...
Both Chandler and Monica smile simultaneously, happy with their ever learning parenting skills.
Another block flies through the air pummeling against Chandler's head, bouncing away in Monica's direction. Both are stuck by the flying cube.
Chandler pounces across the couch, Monica following close behind.
CHANDLER
Why you little-!
FADE OUT: