You've all heard about 007. James Bond, superspy. Have you ever wondered about the man known as 001? You might think that no one could be more sexy and good looking than James Bond. You would be right. The man that was the number one agent in Her Majesty's Secret Service didn't have chiseled features and a perfect physique. His name was Green, Emlyn Green. This is his story.

"Morning, Ms. Moneypenny." the young man said as he came up to Ms. Moneypenney's desk.

Ms. Moneypenny looked up from her desk and took in the man standing in front of her. She noticed that Emlyn's hair looked as though it had just been attacked by a deranged vacuum cleaner as it was sticking out in all directions a few inches around his head. She frowned as she saw that he was wearing a wrinkled, untucked navy blue polo shirt over a severely wrinkled pair of khakis. As she looked at the sorry condition of Emlyn's pants, she thought to herself that he should really get a new pair of shoes from Q branch. Any pair of shoes would be a 100 percent improvement over the barely wearable shoes that Emlyn had on.

"M's been waiting for you for 3 minutes, you better get in there before she gets extremely upset." she said in a overly disapproving tone of voice.

"Okay, I'll go in right now." Emlyn said as he made his way around Moneypenny's desk to the door that led to M's office. Moneypenny snorted audibly as Emlyn entered the doorway. If only he would clean himself up, he might be worthy of polishing James' shoes, she thought to herself. As she was dreaming of James, Emlyn shook his head as he opened the inner door of M's office.

"Ah, 001! So glad you could finally make it! Please come in!" M said as she got up from her desk and came forward to stand in front of her desk. Emlyn walked up to her and stuck out his hand for her to shake in greeting. M looked down and Emlyn followed her gaze to his hand that was dirty.

"Sorry."

Emlyn wiped his hand on his shirt, transferring most of the dirt to it and stuck his hand out again. M gently took it with the tip of her fingers, as if it was a used handkerchief and shook it once and dropped it. Emlyn then wiped it again on his shirt as he made his way to the chair that was located near M's desk. He watched as M made her way back around the desk and sat down.

"I'm pleased to report that Her Majesty has given you another commendation for your actions in the Russian operation earlier this month. I will note it in your files. Are you ready for your next assignment?" M asked as she shuffled a pile of paperwork on the top of her desk.

"I suppose, as long as I get to enter the field this time." Emlyn said as he flung his right leg over the side of the chair he was sitting in.

M frowned at this motion and Emlyn sheepishly moved his leg off the chair and straightened up.

"Yes, well, remember what happened the last time you wanted to get out in the field? How many agents had to be called into duty when the operation was placed in jeopardy? How the enemy agents had almost gotten away with the plans for the new super sub we were in the process of building?" M looked at Emlyn as if waiting for him to reply, which he did.

"The key word is 'almost'. I was able to capture them all and turn the plans over to the proper authorities. How was I supposed to know what they were going to try to do with them? Didn't I get them back for you?"

"Yes I recall those events perfectly. Those results and the passable job you did with the Russians has enabled you to go undercover in the computer department of..."

Emlyn buried his head in his hands, "Please, not another desk job!" He looked up at M. "I've been trained in all combat situations, placed first in all firearms competitions, and even earned the highest ranks in all forms of unarmed combat! Doesn't that show that I could be a field agent?"

"Well yes, but don't you think that with all the computer expertise you have and all the internal espionage training we've given you, it would be a shame to let you not use those skills." M said as she nervously shuffled the papers in her hands, knowing what was going to happen next.

Sure enough Emlyn jumped out of his chair and slammed his fist on M's desk.

"Damn it all to blazes! Look here, M, I demand that you let me.."

"What, throw all the training we have given you away and let you go out and possibly get yourself killed?!? Let's face it, you're no..."

"What?" Emlyn looked straight into M's eyes with a bright internal flame. "Say it, I dare you to say that name!"

M looked down and said, "You're no James Bond."

Emlyn once again slammed his fist down on the table.

"I am so sick and tired of him getting all the best field assignments! Just because I am not in his caliber looks-wise doesn't mean that he surpasses me in any other realm of expertise! Why?!? Why am I not ever given any assignments that would let me fully use all my training and attributes?!? Why?"

M looked back up at Emlyn's face and he could see that her eyes were bright with fire themselves as she looked right at his own.

"Because you know as well as I do that looks are as important in field assignments as other skills! You know that scientists a long time ago were able to prove that the agents with the best looks, almost regardless of their other skills, have the best chance of fully penetrating enemy strongholds and getting their assignments completed! We don't know why this is true! It just is! If you were.."

"I know, if I looked more handsome, I would be able to get all the field assignments I could handle."

With that, Emlyn collapsed back down into his chair. M suddenly felt very apologetic and got up out of her chair and came around to stand in front of Emlyn. She leaned down and took Emlyn's hands in her own and as he looked up into her face, she could see he was still extremely upset.

"I know I am going to regret this, but I will let you have the assignment that James was going to get."

She saw Emlyn's face light up and she thought that he looked as though he was a little kid that was just told he was going to get a new puppy for Christmas. She dropped Emlyn's hands, frowned, and picked up a tissue from a holder on her desk and wiped her hands with it. She once again sat down at her desk and reached into the top drawer to the right of her chair and pulled out a file with the words "Top Secret, For Your Eyes Only" stamped in large red letters on it. She threw across to where Emlyn was seated. She watched as he eagerly broke the seal on the outside of the folder and was again struck with how much he looked like a little kid at Christmastime. He calmed down considerably as he read the contents of the folder.

"You better get down to Q branch so they can outfit you for this assignment. As you have just read, it will be dangerous and once you start it, there will be only limited contact with our people in that area. If you are sure that you can handle it, I suggest that you get yourself there as soon as possible."

Emlyn took the folder in his hands and stood up. He smiled at M as he made his way to the door to the outer office. As he left the room, M wondered if she had done the right thing. After all, those scientists were proven right about their theory time and time again. Maybe he will do just fine, she thought, or maybe I could make sure that James is standing by, just in case.