Chapter 1: My Damn Daddy
((((( Renesmee's POV)))))
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. And, I don't own any of the poetry in Nessie's Journal that's mentioned in the chapter. Ms. Hillary Betzler wrote those heartfelt thoughts. The name of the poem is "I Am Not Perfect."
At some point in the near future, I would like to take credit for my characters that will cause havoc in the life of our beloved Cullens, but for now, SM, it's all yours.
To my readers and reviewers, I love you. You make my heart skip a beat every time I read one of your reviews. You make me want to continue. So, smooches to you all.
Anyway, I'm rambling...on to the next one. LOL! Wait, I just heard that song in my head when I wrote that...'on to the next one, on to the next one...how cool is that...wait...it won't stop...LOL!
"Renesmee, some here right this instant! Jacob!" Dad said...no screamed.
Jacob and I made our way to the living room. We knew he would be mad, but he gets mad at almost everything. Dad treats me like I'm destructible. I am immortal for god's sake. And, on top of that, I am sixteen years old, making seventeen in about a month. I should have some type of freedom to have fun, and do as I like. All of my life, I have been cooped up in this house, being taught various things by my family, and never getting the chance to meet people and build relationships, besides them. My growth has dramatically slowed, and any changes that are noticeable are those that any teenager would go through.
I looked up at Jacob, wondering just what he would do to us this time. Last time, I was forbidden to leave the house with Jake for a month. Dad would not let me visit Jake at his cottage, spend the night, or call him. Jake is my best friend and has been for as long as I can remember.
I rode my first bike with Jake, played my first board game, learned to cook eggs, and even talked about boys first with Jake. Jake has always been by my side. I have always felt comfortable, loved, protected, when he was near. He always let me have my way, even defended me when I did something wrong, and dad got angry with me. He would always take the blame.
Dad has always secretly hated our relationship, but he is my Jake. I can't ever imagine him not being in my life, somehow. Mom understands. She is always very sweet and understanding. She tries to talk to dad, but he is a hopeless case. Nothing I do is right.
So, as Jake and I descended the stairs, I began talking to Dad in my thoughts.
Dad, please. You always blow things out of proportion, please listen to me. We only went for a ride. No harm was done. Please don't start. Nothing happened. Plus, I didn't even drive.
"Renesmee Carlie Cullen! Do not tell me nothing happened. I specifically told you and Jacob not to ride those bikes. They are dangerous and wreckless, and I forbid it. Have you forgotten that this is your third bike?"
"Edward, I am sorry. Nessie was watching me tune up the bikes. I asked her if she wanted to go up the street with me to see how the engine was running. I lost track of distance after that. It's not Nessie's fault."
"Jacob, you be quiet. Every time Renesmee does something, you step in and take the blame. You both know I am no fool. And I am sure you both remember that I can read your minds. Renesmee, you told on yourself early this morning. Jacob, I trust you to know better. Especially when I was very clear about her not riding those bikes. Now, Renesmee, if you insist on disobeying me, I will permanently destroy that bike instead of just punish you. Do you want that?"
"Edward, calm down." Mom said. "No harm was done. Lets go hunt, calm down, then revisit this later." Mom stepped up to dad, smoothing her hand across his cheeks. "Plus, we haven't hunted alone in a while." Mom smiled at him flirtatiously.
"Fine, Bella. But, Renesmee, I am far from done with this." He and mom walked off into the darkness.
"Jake, I am so sorry. How do I keep getting you involved in my mess?" I smiled at him.
"Oh, Nessie, don't worry about it. I can handle your dad. You just have to remember to not think so much about what we do for fun, especially if you want to continue."
"But Jake, what's the big deal. If I jump off of a twenty story building, nothing will happen to me."
Jake gasped. "Nessie, don't talk like that. Plus, how do you know that nothing will happen? I wish you would calm down a little. Plus, you know he's not finish. He'll probably separate us again, and I hate that. I really miss you when you're not around."
I looked at Jake, upset that he's agreeing with Daddy. I turned around, and went into my room, slamming the door behind me. I'm so damn angry. Daddy acts like all he wants to do is control me. He wants me to be someone that I will never be. I will never be my mother. Never. And, I don't want to be. Nice and proper is definitely not me. I wish I could leave this house, today. Maybe then he would realize just how ridiculous he is being.
I walked over to my stereo system that Grandma Esme bought me this summer. I popped in my iPhone and pressed random. My taste in music varies, depending on my mood. I quickly changed my mind. I knew that song I wanted to hear. Second Chance by Shinedown is my first song of choice. I cranked up the volume to fifty and laid across my bed, writing in my journal. I love my music loud like this when I'm upset. I can easily clear my mind.
My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it
Through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out
Today
I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved,
Said why you always running
In place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance...
In my journal, I wrote:
I am not a perfect person,
And I don't try to be.
I am just another imprisoned soul,
That is longing to be set free.
I don't want to be in this place anymore,
I don't want to shed anymore tears.
I'm sick of always hiding inside of myself,
This has gone on for too many years.
I don't want to show my emotions,
Or to tell you how I feel.
I just want to know the difference,
Between what is fake and what is real.
I'm just another lost soul,
That is waiting to be found.
I'm just another liability,
That you don't want around.
I'm just falling through the air,
And I'm about to hit the ground.
But I don't expect anyone to catch me,
Because no one wants me around.
No one really cares about me,
They just ignore me everyday.
No one really cares enough,
To even ask me if I'm okay.
Before I could get into the song good, Jake opened the door and raised his eyebrow at me.
"What!" He walked over to my iPhone and turned the music all the way down. "Jake, what are you doing!" I sprang up out the bed. "Don't do that!"
He put his hands up, conceding to his actions. "Nessie, what's up? Why are you so upset? Talk to me." He walked over and sat on my bed, patting the bed next to him. I walked over and sat next to him. When he began rubbing my back, I fell into tears.
"Jake, I hate him! I have no freedom, I never leave this house, he keeps me under his thumb in every situation, and I want out!"
Jake seemed shocked. I guess I have never really voiced my frustrations about this to him before. I never really had to. He always kept things interesting for me. But now..."Dad is shutting us down every time we want to go have fun, and I feel trapped...like I'm in a small little Edward box just waiting to be opened when he wants me to be. Shit!"
"Nessie, where is this coming from, really? Your dad loves you, and only wants the best for you. He doesn't mean to make you feel trapped. You know that. And, you and your family lead a special lifestyle that has to be protected. What is it really. Be honest with me. You can trust me." He placed his finger under my chin, lifting my head up to him. "Nessie?"
"I know. Jake, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, Nessie, anything."
"Well, in your opinion, my growth has slowed and is not very noticeable, right?" He shook his head. "Well, how do you think I could approach my dad to let me go to high school? Jake, I need to get out of this house. I have no privacy, no friends, other than you, and I really want to go. Tell me what to do, Jake," tears still streaming down my face.
He looked at me, smiling. "Nessie, Edward is reasonable. If you talk to him like you are talking to me, he will agree, eventually. He knows you are growing up and needs to lighten up a little. But in his defense, he sees you like you are only six years old. He believes it takes more time than that to fully grow up, to deserve more freedom, but everything is different with you. You may just need to talk to him and give him some time to come to terms with it. I know him. He really wants you to be happy." He smiled at me, pulling me into his embrace. "Besides, everything you have ever wanted from him, he has given it to you. Even when he didn't agree. That's how you go two more bikes after all those wrecks." He chuckled.
"Jake, I'm scared to even bring it up to him. I know that mom won't be as unreasonable, but him, I already know it will be an uphill battle, probably ending in my loss."
"Ness, give him more credit than that. Give him some time to adjust to the idea, and I'm sure that he'll see it your way. Ness, I have an idea."
I pulled from him. "What?"
"Do you think it would influence his decision if I went with you. I mean, attend classes with you?"
"Jake! You would do that for me?"
"Of course, Nessie, besides, who would keep you out of trouble? You know how you are. Your new name is Renesmee "Dangerous-I-have-to-find-trouble" Cullen" He chuckled. "Me going with you would probably soften his outlook on the whole situation. But you will have to promise me to calm that side of you down." I giggled, jumped on his lap, and gave him a huge hug.
"Thanks, Jakie. You're the best.
"I know, but you still haven't agreed to calm the hell down." He smiled.
"Jake, do you want me to lie to you?" He looked at me from the side. "Well, can I promise to not wreck anything, on purpose, and to not look for trouble, on purpose?" Jake burst out laughing. He knew that was the best that I could promise at the time.
"Alright, Nessie. You are going to get me cussed out. I just know it."
"Daddy doesn't cuss. He's too 'refined and elegant' for that."
"Ah, Nessie, cut it out."
"Alright, alright. I love you, Jakie, and thanks again."
"I know, Ness. I love you, too."
He was right, though. I am bound to get into something. I love to do things that others would dare do. Fast bikes, cliff diving, fighting cougars, sky diving. Ooh, let me stop. Dad doesn't know about any of that, yet, and hopefully never will. He would have my hide for any of that, and Jake's. Jake and I have done some – not so smart things this past year. If dad knew the half of it, he would surely make our lives Hell.
I giggled, remembering when I jumped off the cliff with Seth after Jake forbid me to go. As soon as he turned his head, I jumped, fully clothed, except my shoes. When I hit the water, my clothes got caught on a tree branch laying on the bottom. I couldn't see how to release it, so it took me a little longer than Seth to reach the surface. Next thing I knew, Jacob was down there, ripping my brand new shirt, towing me to the shore. I was infuriated. First, I can hold my breath for indefinite periods of time, therefore would not have drowned, and second, I had just bought that damn shirt. I really liked it. Aunt Ali had ordered it from France or somewhere crazy. But, the look on Jake's face when we got to shore immediately changed my attitude toward him. I decided to play along. I held my breath, and remained still. He was screaming my name over and over, begging me to breath. It was priceless, him trying to push air into me and pushing on my chest. I couldn't take it anymore, I just burst out laughing through all his efforts. He was so mad with me that left me laying there on the shore as he walked back to Billy's. Of course, he couldn't stay mad at me long, but I didn't push my luck. I let it go, only snickering under my breath. Last summer in Forks was the best.
Later that afternoon, Jake and I went hunting. I hadn't been in more than a week, so we took this time to discuss how I would approach Daddy. After we exhausted most of my options, we began joking about how to go to daddy. We thought things like hog tying him, taping his mouth shut, and just telling him what I was going to do. Or, just walk in the house, slam the door, stand in front of daddy and demand that he let me go to school. Oh, this one is the best. How about its the first day of school. I get up, get dressed and walk out the door to go to school without saying anything to him. Hahaha. None of that would ever work. Has anyone ever met Edward Anthony Cullen? Huh, never in a million years. We just laughed and laughed on our way back home.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
A couple of days later, I found the nerve to approach Dad. Luckily, I had already spoken to Mom, and she agreed with me, especially since Jake was willing to come and watch guard over me. She knew though, that Dad would be an issue. He is so overprotective and would never easily go for this. So, I decided to just go for it. I had nothing to lose anyway. The worst he could say was no.
I got together with Aunt Ali and put together an outfit that made me look cute and innocent. I argued with her that this could back fire in my face. If Dad continues to look at me like a little girl, that is definitely how he will be treating me.
Aunt Ali decided to meet me half way. She put me on a tightly fitted dark jean with an emerald green t-shirt with loopy writing on it. The t-shirt had a v-neck, but it did not show much skin because we put on a simple silver chain with a large R on it to take away from my growing chest. She finished the outfit with a black leather wrapping belt fitted loosely around my waist and black leather boots. She picked my hair up into a messy ponytail with curls dropping loosely around my face.
When we were finish, Jake walked in to judge our work. When he walked in, he had the strangest look in his eyes. His expression went from my happy and goofy Jake to surprised, moony Jake. Just as I was about to question his expression, and whether he liked it or not, he spoke.
"Nessie, you look great. Hurry, your mom just called. Edward is on his way here now." We all shuffled around the room.
"Everyone stop!" Aunt Ali said. "Don't forget to guard our thoughts. Jacob, say your alphabets backwards. Nessie think about school as being a happy place, and I'm leaving." She hugged me and wished me good luck, leaving out the back door.
"Jake, I'm scared. This will be hard. What if he doesn't let me go?"
"S-R-Q-P" He smiled at me, saying his alphabets backwards. "He's here."
We walked downstairs. My nerves were in a bundle and I couldn't find the right expression for my face. Man, this is my dad. He loves me and wants to do whats right for me. But I want this so bad. School, friends, relationships, teachers, field trips, slumber parties, football games, basketball games.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, Jake and I got a drink, and sat at the bar in the kitchen. Dad walked in laughing with mom. That has to be a good thing...him being in a good mood to start.
"Hi, Dad." I got up and kissed his cheek. "What's so funny?"
"Your mother just raced me back here, but cheated. When I was counting down to begin the race, she sprinted out before me. I still beat her though. See Bella, cheaters never win." They continued in their amusement for a while longer. I thought it was great that dad will start this conversation in a good mood. But my thoughts were interrupted.
"Renesmee, why are you thinking about school the way you are?" Dad broke quickly from his laughter. "Are you hiding something from me?"
"No, Dad, of course not. Why?"
"Well, Jacob is saying his alphabets backwards over and over. What's going on?"
"Daddy, I need to talk to you, but you need to keep an open mind. Will you, for me? Promise me."
"Jacob! Stop doing that!" Dad said angrily. "Renesmee, get it out!"
"No! Promise me Daddy!"
He looked at me curiously. "Alright, I promise." He looked down at mom, and grabbed her hand. "Do you know about this?" She only smiled and looked at me.
"Daddy, I want to go to school. You and Grandpa agree that my growth has slowed to normal for my age, and I want to get out of this house and meet people. I'm ready, Daddy, I know I am." I walked up to him with my sweet smile and my puppy eyes and grabbed his hand. "Please, Daddy."
He only looked at me at first. I knew he was trying to find hundreds of reasons as to why I would not be able to go. He pinched the bridge of his nose, then looked at mom. "What do you think about this?"
"I think it's a great idea. She will be able to learn so much more than just history and memorization. She will be able to learn about relationships, trust, personalities. All of those things that come with meeting people that don't care for you like your family does. I think you should let her. Plus, Jacob is willing to go with her."
"Jacob, you are willing to put yourself through that again?"
"Well..." Jacob paused for a moment. "Yes, anything for Nessie. Plus, she will need to be discrete. How will we know if none of us go with her?"
"That's my issue with her. Renesmee, you are a ball of fire, waiting to explode. You push the limits on everything. I just don't know if you will understand the difference between our way of life and movements and those of normal humans. You are accustomed to moving as you wish. Never taking note that some human may be looking at you. Renesmee, I just don't know. This all makes me really nervous."
"Edward, if you want, I could work with Nessie on that. She learns really easy. I think she can do it. She just needs to understand the proper movements of humans. And, now that I think about it...when I would bring her to La Push, she never moved like she did at home. Humans are always on the beach. And I don't ever remember telling her that she had to be careful. We could give it a try. She has a little more than a week to prove it."
"Alright, Jacob, you can try, but I want see her from now, until school starts moving as a human at all times. Her only time to move naturally is when she hunts. Plus, I want fifty percent of her diet to be human food. No playing, no racing, nothing. She has to be able to maintain those movements for long periods of time. I want you to also practice playing sports with her. That will surely give her away in gym class, too."
"Anything you want, Daddy, thank you, thank you." I pulled him down into a big hug, and kissed him all over his face. I couldn't be happier. I grabbed Jake by the hand, running out of the house before Daddy changed his mind. "Jake, can we start now?"
"Sure, Nessie. Lets begin by going back in the house and eating. I am starving. It's a perfect way to begin your diet. You're cooking." He laughed and sprinted back to the house. Testing me. I wouldn't be slipping up that easy.
Our day went by quickly. I grilled four steaks for Jake and me. Of course he ate three of them. That boy has an appetite for three people. I cooked mine rare, and Jake's was medium well. We laughed and talked the whole day. He seemed to be just as excited about school as I was. I never said anything to him, but I wonder how he will be received at the school. He stands six feet five inches tall and has an extreme muscular build. He will stick out like a sore thumb. But, he's so sweet, and really beautiful, plus he smells so damn good. I bet the girls will be all over him. Huh, why did that just make me feel weird. Anyway...
After we ate, we sat out by the lake. I read a book and Jake studied a sketch he drew for a car that he was wanting to build. From time to time, he would ask my opinion about what I would like in it or if he was doing too much. I guess he wanted everything to be perfect before he began building it. He was past the design process. He was now adding accessories, modifications, and music. Auntie Rose has taught him a lot these past years about cars, so I am excited to see just how this will turn out.
There was nothing in the world that could break my high today. I had gotten everything and more than I wanted. I got my dad to agree to let me go to school, and I got my Jake to come with me. Granted, I never thought to ask him, but I am ecstatic that he's coming.
That night, I spent the night at Jake's cottage. We talked about learning, friends, personalities, attitudes, competition, trust, and decisions, well into the night. We were both so excited. Well, at least Jake acts like he is excited. He is really a great friend to me.
A/N: Alright all, I know you have a ton of questions, and I'm ready to answer them.
I gave a good six chapters already written, but they are really long. I'll have to probably break them down smaller. I think one of them has 10,000 words. Wow, I know. I won't do that to you. I'll figure something out. I understand how sometimes SM got so long winded in some of her descriptions. It's hard not to, especially when you want the reader to see what you see.
Now, let's review. Stay with me...the story will quicken soon enough.
Reviewing is better than Nessie jumping off the cliff fully clothed, having Jacob placing his mouth to her and feeling her boobs up. Well, maybe not better than that, but still review! LOL!