Hello everyone! This will be the first installment of this book. I'll also take suggestions for prompts to write in other one-shots.
Castiel was an angel of the lord. He was the one who raised Dean Winchester from Hell. He was also of course in love with the very Dean Winchester he raised from Hell. But Dean didn't love him back.
The feeling, the thing that always drew Cas to Dean. It was like this tug in his chest, this yearning to be near Dean. Whenever he was injured Castiel would feel mixtures of anger, worry and sorrow. He never understood what these feelings meant until the fated day he coughed up that first flower petal.
His eyes were wide and frightened as he stared at the greenish blue petal. Oh no. He had heard of this before but only believed it to be a fable that humans told. But he was proof that it was true. The Hanahaki Disease. That's when he finally realized that he has no hope. Dean would never love him. Not in a million years. Quietly he slipped the petal in his pocket.
He kept his condition a secret from everyone for as long as he could. But it didn't take long for his condition to worsen to a noticeable state. Breathing was a struggle despite him not actually needing air. Regardless he still felt like he was suffocating. He was coughing up full flowers now. This time he wasn't careful enough. Sam walked in as he was inspecting a flower.
"Cas. . ? What's that?" The tall hunter asked, leaning over to inspect the blood covered flower resting in the angel's pale palm. Cas' face was pale as he tried to move away from Sam, who in turn gripped Cas' wrist tightly so he couldn't move away. "Castiel, how long has this been going on?" He pried, knowing exactly was happening. Cas just shook his head and tried to crush the flower but Sam snatched it away to observe it. The flowers of the Hanahaki Disease always held a hint as to who the person was in love with.
"Its Dean isn't it," he asked, taking note of the green in the flower. The blue was obviously for Cas, most likely because of his eyes. Perhaps Cas liked Dean's eyes and felt most connected when making eye contact. All Castiel did was slowly nod while looking down.
"It started a year after I rescued Dean. That's when I coughed up the first petal. There's nothing you can do for me, Sam. It's hopeless." By the time Cas had finished speaking, he was curled up on the floor. Sam remained silent. Cas was right, there was nothing he could do. But then he got an idea he didn't like.
"We could get them removed. But your feelings for Dean would die along with the flowers." Cas only shakes his head at the suggestion, resting his head on his knees. His feelings for Dean was the most he's ever felt. He didn't want to lose that. Sam only sighed and nodded, gently touching Cas' shoulder before walking out of the kitchen.
After his interaction with Sam, Cas had begun caring less about himself. He'd throw himself into cases, danger, and other situations that could possibly get him killed. He hated that he had feelings for Dean but didn't want to lose that sense of feeling. It made him feel alive. But that didn't mean he wanted to live with the suffering. It made his life miserable and his condition was only getting worse and harder to hide.
Cas knew that at some point Dean would find out, and he hoped that wouldn't be until he was on his death bed. He didn't want to burden Dean with an issue he couldn't fix. Unfortunately, fate wasn't on Castiel's side.
A few months later Cas was on a case with Dean when went into a coughing fit, which leads to him vomiting up a lot of petals. The look Dean had given Cas made the angel want to curl up and pretend none of this was happening.
"Cas... How long... How long have you been in love with me...?" He asked, eyes glued to the green and blue petals. Castiel knew he couldn't deny it any longer. What was the point anyway? He was going to die soon anyway. These petals would kill him in a few months, he could just disappear until then.
"I realized that I was a year after I pulled you from Hell..." he admitted, making sure to keep his head down so he wouldn't have to make eye contact with Dean. How could he gaze into those beautiful green eyes? How could he do that when he just admitted to loving the person those eyes belonged to?
A few seconds passed in silence before Cas got up and put some distance between him and Dean. "Dean I'm sorry... I'll leave now and stay away..." was all he whispered before making his way to the door. He didn't make it far before Dean's strong grip found itself around the angel's arm. He attempted to break free of Dean's grip as he felt himself be pulled towards the hunter. He was so gentle and Cas hated it. He wanted Dean to be angry with him for loving him, but he wasn't.
"Cas I don't want you to go. Ever. I've wanted to know how you felt about me for the longest time," the hunter murmured in the angel's ear while his hand slipped into his pocket to pull something out. He pulled away from Cas to show him the petal that was a dark blue like the colour of his eyes. "You see I always thought you could never love me or even be capable of loving me. Cas I love you."
At that moment Castiel felt a weight lift his chest and he grinned widely, slowly moving in to kiss the man he loved. Maybe loving Dean wasn't so bad after all. Especially if Dean loved him back.