Maya's POV
January 24:
I've never considered my eight month old daughter Lettie a mistake, an unexpected blessing, rather and so have the Matthews when they took me in. I've realized that there are no coincidences; It's God's way of bringing you to the right person or using you to be the light in someone else's life, and I'm glad to see he chose Lacy to be in mine. Now to me it's clear, if you trust in him, and live by faith he'll guide your paths and eventually you'll cross over with someone else's. Spiritually, I've grown from the bad choices I've made.
It has seemed that since giving birth to Lettie, graduation was even further out of reach and the goal of being the first Hart to go to college was even farther. The finish line had been moved from right beneath my feet to a nearly impossible frozen tundra to cross, barefoot and compassless. Until I wound up meeting someone who needed me as badly as I needed them.
There was comfort in finding someone that you can compare stories with, because even if this world only had one Riley and Maya, I knew I needed to step it up and be that someone because Riley wasn't a mother after all, and there was only so much advice she and her family could help a teen mother with. Now every friendship has some unique beginning, but meeting Lacy was something I didn't know I so desperately needed.
"In every good book you turn the page, and there's another chapter…" -Mrs. Matthews.
Yours Truly,
The rebellious, (but now semi-softened) Maya Hart Hunter.
Closing my journal and leaning back against the bay window, I feel the heat of the setting sun on my back, melting the goosebumps away as my thoughts shift to Lacy, wondering how it could be possible for girls like us to wind up in these situations.
'Oh yeah, Principal Larue' I remembered, slightly smiling back to the day nearly two months ago when Lacy and I had met in his office, thus beginning this unlikely friendship between mentor and mentoree. And I'm sure you're wondering how a girl like me, troubled on my own, would wind up be the best choice to mentor someone, other than the fact that we were the only teen moms in this school.
Remember when Mr. Matthews had a lecture on a 'sweet sixteen' and we all realized that we weren't as eager as we thought we were to grow up? Boy am I glad to have had him in my life, teaching us lessons we can't find in textbooks or other classes. We learn from history's mistakes, every battle has a spark that lights it off, and a moral of the story, like conflicts can escalate. For me, my "Sweet Sixteen" wasn't so sweet, and as history dictates, it's bound to repeat itself if you can't learn from other's past mistakes.
"What'cha thinkin' about Maya?" Riley asks as she enters the room and sits beside me, handing me my daughter who had clearly just woken up.
"Riles? Did you wake her up again?" I smirk, slightly irritated that this wouldn't be the first time she was anxious to want to hold and play with the bubbly baby.
Lettie looks up and smiles at me, bringing relief to my heavy heart, breaking over the past few days as she cried in pain over the tooth cutting its way through her tender gums. Her blue eyes were a ornery grey, and her bubbly smile faded into an uncomfortable frown of discomfort. Her light and tangly curls gathered in a small pony on top of her sandy blonde, almost brown hair, was snarly and matted from sleep.
"Riles, do you ever feel overwhelmed by the things I share with you?"
"No! Of course not Maya! You're my best friend and anything you need to get off your chest my ears are open to hear. It's better to hear that you're feeling down and get you help than find out that you're hurt."
Oh yeah, and postpartum depression was pretty intense, especially for someone struggling with school, bullying, and my own living conditions after mom insisted that I was destined for my boyfriend to leave me just as my dad did, and that I needed to make grown up decisions and get a fresh start. Shawn insisted that mom was over-reacting, however, he did agree that perhaps keeping the baby could be stressful on all of us in our apartment. In my life I had never been so hurt and sought adoption agencies immediately, referring to the sites the Matthews had recommended me the day I had confessed the news to them after making Riley hold keep it a secret for a month. But that's a story for later.
Monday morning I met with Lacy in the counseling office during both our study halls, in which Principal Larue had set up in my schedule the day he had introduced us both. "Letter of recommendation to the college of your choice" was all I needed to hear before considering taking on this responsibility. Now it's much more than a mentoring and more of a friendship.
"Hey Maya," I hear a small voice exclaim from behind the doorway. Lacy slowly creeks in open and looks behind her, as if someone was watching us.
She leans back and squats to support the weight of her five month pregnancy into the small framed cushion chair, tucking her right leg under her left and smiling at me nervously as if this was the first time and she had no idea what to say. She struggled with Social Anxiety, so the fact that she had become pregnant made it even harder on her to reach out and make friends.
"Hey Lacy, what's new?" I greet her without forcing a smile, trying to cover the fact that I was up all night, but nonetheless happy to be there with her.
Lettie looks up and crunches her eyebrows curiously towards Lacy's cartilage piercing, then gurgling as she stares wide eyed at Lacy's enlarged stomach.
"Well I'm supposed to find out the gender of my baby, but I'm gonna have to cancel again."
"I thought you didn't want to find out because you said it wouldn't change how you felt about the adoption."
Lacy shifted uncomfortably in her seat, picking at her pink nail polish on her cracked nails, clearly long and gritted on the tips from not being clipped, but rather being chewed on. It became obvious after a long silence that Lacy had not wanted to discuss the adoption.
"Where are your parents going to be?" I finally break the ice.
"Why do I care? If I had to beg them to stay and they had to think about it for a month, then them coming and going shouldn't affect me."
Oh yeah. And Lacy's "Parents" are a neglectful fostering couple of casino addicts, using the money they get from the state doing foster care to buy lottery tickets and staying overnight in a casino rather than caring for their own foster children, Lacy, Amelia, and Ellie, who all happened to be sisters.
They had threatened Lacy before she was pregnant that if she thought of leaving before she was eighteen, that they would suspend her sisters from their care. And honestly at their ages, it was harder to find a home. When she became pregnant they sought to kick her out, until they realized the benefits they would receive from another child in the home. Another reason Lacy doesn't want to keep the baby.
"Lacy, I know your situation isn't ideal. But you love your sisters so much you're putting up with it until you can find a way to leave. And I'm thinking your social worker will help you if you just ask. And even if you're under their roof, they have no legal obligation over you, so your social worker can be the one to help with all the adoption stuff. They can't force you to do anything you don't want to."
When I first met Lacy just two months ago, you wouldn't have recognized the same girl. She would have been afraid to tell me what she was thinking, or object to what I've said, or even voice her own opinions. I'm not taking credit for this accomplishment, but I'm happy to see as she grows, that she becomes more confident and less afraid. This isn't about me, but helping another girl with similar issues, to see her reach her potential and hope for a wonderful future.
"Our social worker is trying her best, but it's not easy placing three girls, one which is pregnant; Without a father. How would that sound to you as a potential parent?"
"Lacy, we can't change the future, but we can choose how we will react to it. And fear is only gonna hold you back from doing the things you want and keep you second guessing yourself. You seem to know that adoption is what you want, and shouldn't be persuaded otherwise. You're the most selfless person I know, and I'm going to be here every step of the way to support you."
"What about after the baby?"
"Even then. Because I see you more than the girl I've been assigned to mentor. You're someone who I know has so much going for her, someone I'm excited to see grow and what you'll become. As your friend, I look forward to seeing you find your full potential."
She offers a sheepish smile, clearly not used to hearing the kind of encouragement that Mr. Matthews used to build me up with. And truthfully, it's all I care about is seeing her succeed. And I totally respect her decision to hold out with the adoption because it's the kind of person she is. Someone who puts others first and knows that even though she would love on this baby, it wasn't enough or even fair for the baby to grow up the same way she had. She wanted better for her child and I loved that about her.
"Maya," She whispers, "How much does labor hurt?"
"Let's put it this way: You're gonna forget the kid's name before you forget the pain of labor." I chuckle, trying to ease the tension she was clearly full of. At the sound of me laughing, Lettie echos, giggling from her place under the chair.
"That's what I was afraid of. But I've got a nice staff of doctors and my social worker and psychologist will be there to help with the adoption and emotional support."
"What about during the labor?"
"Oh," She pauses. "I guess I'm just assuming they were going to be there too. But it really isn't their job, is it?"
Taking a deep breath, I bite my lip, realizing that pre-mom me would never have wanted to be in the room during delivery, just as Riley's support during labor, but now nothing phases me, other than hoping for things. I'm a lot more hopeful than I used to be.
"Lacy, if it's okay...And it's totally okay if it's not or you're uncomfortable, but if I could be your support during labor and delivery?"
Her seemingly permanent frown seems to dissolve as her eyes light up and her rosy cheeks form a smile, not directly at me, but I know she's grateful.
"Of course! It'd be great." She answers with a heart of gratitude.
*Two years before*
Maya's period was nine days late, and she had felt more exhausted than she ever had before. Her mom worked a double shift and wasn't expected home until later that morning, nearing twelve hours of continuous working, and she was to be cranky and tired for sure.
She knew she had time to kill, and she shakily unwrapped the cheap dollar store pregnancy kit, setting the dropper and the small rectangular test on the counter, then proceeded to pee into a foam cup. After just thirty seconds she dropped it on the test, and left the bathroom, heading for the Matthews', not caring what result was on it, as long as the Matthews were there with her when she explained what she had done.
"What'sup losers?" She greets them, slightly less enthusiastically than usual.
Riley looks up with a mouth full of oatmeal while Auggie sleeps in his, dragging through the start of his morning after staying up until midnight watching baseball with Cory. Maya sits herself besides Riley on the bench, reaching for a spoon as Topanga sets a bowl in front of her. She knew that if she protested, Topanga would only hold her ground and make her eat at least a bite, but today, she couldn't even imagine putting an oat on her tongue without throwing up. It would be a dead giveaway, unless of course, they wouldn't and won't ever expect that kind of news. Perhaps they'd assume it's the stomach flu. She had yet to experience vomiting due to morning sickness, but she did feel slight nausea and distaste towards eating lately. She was used to feeling sick from not eating enough, but not from turning down food when she needed it more than ever.
"Maya?" She hears a voice calling her back from her thoughts.
Topanga hovers over the girl who finds herself suddenly alone at the table. Topanga then slides along side the bench, scooting next to her and feeling her forehead before sweeping her hair from her face.
"Maya, honey? Do you have something you want to talk about?" She infers, catching Maya off guard and causing her to feel suddenly anxious.
Maya didn't know whether she had received a positive result or not, but she felt tears sting the back of her eyes as fear raced through her mind and body, and she realized then she couldn't have picked someone better to be with at the moment. Topanga didn't ask her to tell her anything, just made sure that she knew that she was there to talk anytime when she was ready.
"Mrs. Matthews, I'm not ready to grow up. And you know everything Mr. Matthews said last week about growing up and our sweet sixteen and how we need to plan for our future? It's like the plans I've had and worked for, the hope I've had, it's slipped through my fingers. I've messed up."
She leans to her left, resting on Topanga's shoulder as the young woman without a second thought holds Maya as her own. She didn't care how much Maya felt like she had messed, they were family, and family doesn't leave, and isn't defined by blood, but rather the people you want in your life.
"You are no match for God's plans, Maya. As humans we want control of everything, but in reality we can't have it. So don't lose hope over one mistake, because God knows what he's doing and there's nothing he won't forgive you for."
"This is ironic coming from the biggest control freak there is." Maya lets out a small, lighthearted, laugh.
Topanga smiles before letting Maya go, grabbing Maya's hands in hers and looking her firmly in the eyes.
"Tell me what's been weighing you down, my sweet girl." Topanga coaxes.
Maya picks at the nail polish on her left hand, flicking the flakes on the wooden floor as she scrapes them off. She temporarily ignores Topanga, until a sudden clear of her throat startles her.
"Mrs. Matthews? No matter how bad I mess up…" She begins.
"We will always love you." Topanga finishes. "Now what is it Maya?" She encourages.
"I'm preg...nant. Possibly." She chokes out, feeling her face flush as her mouth goes dry.
"What's that you say now?" Topanga exclaims, surprised at first, then a second time for reassurance. "Is that even possible?"
Maya second guesses herself, unsure whether or not to respond again, because she wasn't sure if it was rhetorical or if Topanga had not actually heard her. It was then that Cory walked in, Riley and Auggie following closely behind their father's briefcase.
"It seems that not all my tater tots are in a row and ready to board the 'Cory express'." He smirks, and Maya finds herself unable to even jokingly roll her eyes at him.
"Cory," Topanga senses Maya's seriousness and discomfort, "I'll send her on her way in a few minutes." She narrows her eyes, hinting that they wanted to be alone.
"Peaches?" Riley worries, wondering what could possibly be so bad that Maya had gone directly to Topanga first.
Topanga shoos Riley, first kissing her on the head then assuring her that everything would be fine, and that if Maya had wanted her to know, that she would tell her eventually. The best thing Riley could do as a friend was be there, even if she didn't know the whole story.
"What do I do first Mrs. M?" Maya eventually whispers.
"Like it or not, you have some growing up to do, faster than most teens."
"I'm scared. It's one thing to take care of myself for years, but another human being?"
"Maya, have you considered adoption?"
"Well," Maya reconsiders, then answers sheepishly, "I've been thinking and if I'm pregnant, I thought I would keep him or her, because I could never consider killing my baby, but it also just feels like what I'm expected to do: Be the second generation single mother in my family."
Topanga smiles reassuringly, then puts her hand under Maya's chin, lifting Maya's eyes to meet her own.
"If I've learned anything from my husband, it's that history is bound to repeat itself if we don't learn from our mistakes. However, you can't change what's been done, you can only learn from it. The rest is up to you and how you react to it. Make a decision wisely, because it's not just your future anymore, but the baby's as well."
"You're not mad at me? How are you taking this so well?" Maya replies with a grateful heart, surprised despite knowing them forever.
"Of course not! We couldn't learn anything if we didn't screw up first. I'm very disappointed, however. And I hope you're prepared for lessons even we can't teach you, and all the responsibility. You do realize going to school isn't going to be easy, and others aren't surely going to be kind either?"
Maya feels tears rolls down her eyes, wiping her sleeve across her face before weakly smiling, realizing both the blessing of having the Matthews in her life, and this new unexpected blessing. She knew at the time if she was pregnant (Which she would find out later that night), that even though life was uncertain, she was certain she was going to do what she found was best for the baby: Adoption.
"What do I do now?" Maya's voice wavers unsurely.
"The responsible thing. And I think we both know this won't go away, so you need to talk to your mother."
"Mrs. Matthews… Must I?" She groans.
Topanga nods then looks over to the clock, realizing that it was quarter after eight. Maya was already half an hour late to school, and Topanga was on the verge of being late to work. So the girls climbed on the subway and went their separate ways for the day, Maya more anxious than the two of them combined any other day. She knew telling her mother was inevitable, and getting through the day was going to be hard.
"Maya, you're late." Riley whispers with warning in her voice, but Cory was turned around writing something on the whiteboard, so he didn't notice when she slipped into her desk.
"You're mom really likes to talk. So- what lesson could your father possibly have for us today?" She dances her way around Riley's suspicious, reverting her attention back to her father.
"Nice of you to join us, Ms. Hart. I suppose better late than never." Cory jokes, and the irony of it strikes Maya.
Maya didn't have time to respond or even read the board when a wave of nausea hit and she felt her heart race. The anxiety of keeping the secret from her best friend and mother made her thoughts spin and she felt as her life had spiraled from the firm grasp she had on it.
"Uh- Mr. Matthews?" Maya lightly waves her hand before standing, not even waiting before sliding out the door, and bolting as fast as her little legs would take her toward the girls' bathrooms.
Riley follows without a second thought, only to find her friend vomiting into the trashcan beside the sink. She instinctively gathers Maya's hair with one hand, while rubbing her back with the other. She was upset to see her friend so sick, but had kindling suspicions that this wasn't just another sickness. Maya had been acting weird for weeks, and she was behaving in a way that Maya wouldn't. Turning down food, behaving all over the place again, and strangely Riley, whose period started yesterday, had opened her cabinet to find that Maya had left a full box.
"Maya, what's going on? This isn't you." She deduced after Maya had finally looked up.
"Riles, I love you. But I'm pretty sure even you couldn't love me after what I did." Maya snapped, and immediately she knew she was wrong when Riley had wrapped her in a hug without a word, as if it wasn't even a question.
"Peaches, there's nothing you could do or say to make me love you any less than I do already. We're only human, and if I expected you to be perfect then we'd never be able to stay friends. We're made to be best friends and nothing will ever make me stop believing this."
Maya began crying as everything she felt and had held in, all the suspicions and confused feelings, began to unravel and spill from her mouth, talking as if it was the lever to lift these worries and burdens, anchored to her body, up and off of her chest.
"And one more thing, but I need you not to freak out, especially since it kinda indirectly concerns you." Maya hesitantly warns her.
"Nothing, Maya. Nothing you can say or have already said can make me think less of you."
"If I am pregnant, then Lucas would be the father." Maya informs her shamefully.
Riley's POV
Maya left me in charge of watching Lettie while she went to hang out with Lacy after school. My mom was inevitably at work, and my father had conferences, so Lucas and I took Lettie for a stroll through central park, which at the time, seemed like a decent idea. However, with every ounce of her personality resembling Maya so far, Lettie has been a handful these past few weeks.
"Miss Lettie Lou!" Lucas coos as he meets up with us on one of the benches closest to the water fountain.
Lettie lets out a small giggle, reaching her arms out for him to pick her up. He lifts her from the stroller, spinning her in a circle before pulling her into a gentle hug, dancing with his daughter side to side as he held her. It recently seemed that the more Maya was gone, the closer she grew with her daddy and I. That was until it didn't seem so anymore, that it became true.
"Mama?" Lettie asks, searching around for Maya as if she'd reappear just by the sound of her name.
A small blonde woman with a son on her hip that didn't look much older than Lettie smiled at Lettie and her face lit up. It was the one characteristic that Lettie had from Lucas, interesting herself into other people rather than pretend interest or normal fear of others that most eight month old children had.
"What a cutie!" The woman smiled as her son reached out for Lettie's hand from pure curiosity. "How old is she?"
"She's eight months old." I respond, looking to Lucas as if I needed his reassurance.
"How sweet! This is my favorite age because they're just so curious to everything around them, and it's just so much fun to go on walks with this little guy." The woman smiles at her son, then looks to Lettie, changing her voice to talk in a soft, baby voice.
"With a smile like that, Carter and I just had to come to say 'hello'." She then turns to me and Lucas. "Nice to meet you!I hope you three enjoy your nice family walk." She adds before turning around and continuing down the path.
How was that possible yet so expected? Is it weird for an ex-girlfriend to watch her best friend's daughter with her ex who also happens to be her best friend's baby daddy? No, and it happened all the time to us both. It's almost like a cliche you see in movies and tv shows, where you're put into awkward situations you could inevitably avoid. However, Lucas and I know that there's hope for the future, and though we aren't together, we remain friends with a friendship that others may say would be impossible to maintain.
"Ooh, Lettie Louise! You're diaper stinks!" Lucas exclaims in a baby voice just as Maya does, the same way he would talk to an animal.
Lucas and I set Lettie on the bench, lying down on her back. She kicks and coos while we wrestle to change her, clean her, and clip the diaper strips back to the velcro after slipping the new one beneath her body.
"Riles, your getting good at this! You didn't throw-up this time, even though she's pooping more solid now." He congratulates me with his infectious smile.
"Maya has been leaving me with her a lot lately. She seems to be caught up in whatever it is she is talking about with Lacy. And she seems really stressed out when she comes home." I inform him, my heart sinking at the thought that we hadn't really had any 'girl time', in the last few months.
"Riley? Are you feeling a bit, I don't know? Abandoned? Because knowing Maya, she would not let her friendship fall through the cracks for someone else. She trusts you and you guys have built a friendship that will last forever?"
"Yeah, but what if forever isn't really forever?"
"Remember when we were together? You said you were hopeful for us, but you also knew you and Maya would be forever because you'd do anything for each other. You watching Maya's baby for her is allowing her to still feel like a teenager sometimes. And Maya's whole life felt she's had to grow up too fast." He reminds me, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder while balancing Lettie against his muscular chest, bouncing her on his knee.
He was right, but I could never tell Maya how I felt a sense of separation. Her whole life she has been forced to grow up quickly, and watching Lettie was the least I could do while she helped her friend. She for once felt like someone could better understand her, and what kind of friend would I be to take that from her. I'm no teen mom, and I certainly couldn't give any advice. And Maya and Lacy hang out more than just Mondays. Before the baby comes Maya and I want to take her out to enjoy life, just like Maya and I did pre-Lettie.
Maya's POV
"It says here that, and I quote, "Labor feels like someone is reaching up to grab all my insides at once, then proceeding to pull and tear them out." And this one from 'Kate's mommy' says..."
Lacy's eyebrows scrunch and her smile twists into a grimace as she quickly realizes that sometimes ignorance is bliss, and quickly snapping my laptop shut. She had come in the office all in a hussy about labor after watching "Knocked up", for the first time with her sisters. After trying to reassure her that Hollywood Magic", was created to keep the birth scene both dramatic and gripping for exaggerated entertainment, we decided that if we were better informed, that it would ease her fears. But boy was I wrong when I came to the realization that everyone's birth would feel differently.
"Okay, so maybe you could sugar coat how it felt to have Lettie?" Lacy asks, and I smile, knowing that she would feel hundred times worse if I sugar-coated how it felt to have her, rather than telling her the truth.
"What and HOW much do you want to know?" I ask, exaggerating the 'how', as a hint to be careful for what she wished to hear.
"I just want to know what to expect. I know that the pain is different for everyone but knowing how it works and what my body is going through will make it less scary."
"Sometimes being left in the dark is a good thing." I inform her and she jokingly rolls her eyes at me, pushing to know more.
"Your body was engineered to be a mom and It's like a super mom gene or something God created in you. There's this story I know: My great, great, great, great times however many more "greats" grandmother's sister gave birth to her baby by the side of a stream one day, while washing the family's clothing. She knelt down and squatted, catching the baby in her bare hands."
Lacy's eyes become the size of saucers, fully engrossed into my tall tale of a story, entirely exaggerated, maybe one percent true. She anticipated the next part, waiting for me to continue.
"And do you know who that baby grew up to be?" I ask, watching as she leans closer as if it was a huge secret. "Laura Ingalls." I add, secretly laughing to myself.
"Really?" She echos in amazement.
"No!" I chuckle as jokingly pushing her.
"My point is, your body already knows what to do. You could have this baby while driving in a car, squatting in a river, or in a bathtub, and naturally you need to trust yourself and body. Trust me, you won't find a time in that room when you aren't scared, but you'll feel a sense of achievement when this baby comes into the world and you realize what your body has been able to do."
I set my hand on her thigh in a comforting manner, smiling into her brown eyes reassuringly to prove that I was here to listen and help her, that I was her friend. Her shoulders relaxed as the tension left her body, even though she still looked slightly uneasy, and unassured.
"Thanks Maya. You know- for being here even though you were assigned to be." She smiles sheepishly.
"What? Lacy, you and I both know that's not true. We're friends because God saw us compatible for each other. He knew we needed each other. If I didn't care, do you really think I'd offer to spend time with you other than the time we have here. If I didn't care, I wouldn't try to be your friend. Okay?"
Lacy nervously tugs at her cartilage piercing, contemplating whether or not she should believe me and drop it, or push on. But knowing her she would drop it because the little piece of her that still had social anxiety hated pushing because she was worried what I would think.
"Do you wanna spend the night? And if you really wanna know what motherhood is like, you can take care of Lettie of the night."
Lacy laughs, rolling her eyes at me before agreeing.
"Sure. But we both know you're just looking for some to babysit Lettie." She jokes.
It was partially true: I had been wanting to find time to hang out with Riley more since the day I went into labor with Lettie in the middle of us hanging out, and this was a "Win-win" for the both of us. She would learn the logistics of childcare, and I would finally get time to spend with Riley. Maybe she would feel more sound about the adoption if she realized how difficult children were.
"Okay, come over around six on Friday night."
*Eight months before Lettie*
Maya had difficulty stomaching what she had received, knowing that her life had forever been changed, quicker than she could grasp any understanding of. She was scared mindless, and after hearing her baby's heartbeat on the ultrasound, her heart sunk even deeper knowing there was no going back. This was her life now, whether she wanted to grow up or not. Fortunately, adoption was an option, and with her lawyer skills, Topanga could help find the child a home. What most difficult problem yet was only to tell her mother, and she couldn't even begin to imagine and rehearse the conversation they'd have. But first, she'd have to remember her own reaction to the test, in order to prepare for her mother's that would be way worse.
The night she got home from school, she had felt sick to her stomach with worry bubbling up from inside, thinking non-stop all day about the test that would wait for her on the bathroom counter when she got home. She read on the box that reading the test ten minutes after taking may not mean it was accurate, so whatever it said, she knew after a full day there was no way it could be correct, and that calmed her anxiety a little.
She picked it up and saw a faded plus, and was unsure if it was the evaporation line the test had mentioned, or was an actual positive. But chucking it into the trash, she figured that if it was a positive the line would be darker. Or would it be the other way around if she was barely overdue for her period? No matter what happened, it would be okay, because she knew there was nothing she could do to turn the Matthews from her, even if her own mom refused her. So she picked up her cell phone, praying he would pick up.
"Hello?" She heard Cory answer from the other end, clearly confused why Maya would be calling his classroom , she had hoped that Cory would still be there to pick up.
"Mr. Matthews? It's Maya." She fearfully replies.
She was hoping the awkwardness would surpass soon, as she realized it was Mr. Matthews after all, and he did have Riley and Auggie, so he was experienced in this kind of conversation, right? She fearfully scraped her fingernails up and down her jeans, waiting in hopes that he would start the conversation.
"Maya? Do you miss me already? It's only an hour after school ended." He jokes, but it's clear he was just as confused as she was to why she would try his class phone first.
"I'd like to um...apologize for earlier. I didn't mean to leave your classroom in such a hurry. It's just that i'm not feeling like myself lately."
"Maya, you don't have to apologize, because we all have those days. How you react and handle them is the only thing in your control. But I would like to know how I can help because whatever it is, I want you to know you can always come to us with anything, judgement free, feeling safe for help." He reminds her with the familiar speech.
"Mr. Matthews, I'm sorry if I have caused any trouble."
"You know Maya, the fact that you realize you made a mistake and are coming to me about it really shows growth. Whatever it is that's troubling you, we'll work through it together."
Maya contemplated telling him, weighing the pros and cons in her head while awkwardly waiting for Mr. Matthews to be the first to break the silence and ask her. She felt it would be easier if he asked her questions and figured it out for himself, but knew she couldn't do that, and just had to grow up and do it herself.
"Mr. Matthews?" Her voice wavers on the verge of tears, nervously waiting for him to respond.
"Maya, you know you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. Unless of course, it's harmful."
"No, I'm gonna rip the band-aid off because if it's not now, it's never. And I'm gonna need you to try really hard to give me advice I can actually use right now."
Cory insisted that everything he told the girls and the class was useful, forgetting the seriousness of the moment momentarily until Maya shut him down. He cleared his throat and prepared to listen to four words that he never would have expected from that young girl's mouth, no matter what she had done in the past.
"Mr. Matthews? I'm pregnant." She bites her bottom lip, feeling her mouth go dry.
Silence fills the air so thick you could cut in with a knife. She fears a "Cory Matthews" freakout as one would call it, but he was stunned that his sweet little Maya could utter such words. The only thing scarier was if she said…
"And Friar is the father." She adds, feeling a weight lifted off her chest, however Cory instinctively begins feeling fatherly instincts towards Maya.
"Lucas!" He gasps, followed by, "See what I told you? Don't feel, because it only leads to confusions, and eventually…"
"This… a baby." Maya finishes as if she already knew what he was going to say, and could only begin to imagine the look on his face on the other line. "Look, I'm really sorry I let you down Mr. Matthews. You trusted me to make all the right choices and this one was not it."
"Maya, we all make wrong decisions, it's something we're entitled to do as human beings. We're not perfect and life couldn't teach us anything if we didn't screw up. But this is one tiny thing that I believe God had destined for this child. And Topanga and I will always be here to support you, because you're Riley's best friend, and our second daughter. We love you Maya, and nothing will change that. You're family whether you and this baby are blood or not."
Wow, was Riley everything like her parents. As she began to realize that she had been truly blessed and they all had insisted and arrived at the same thing: Maya's mistake didn't define her, and wouldn't judge her as anything other than a human being. That being said, they weren't judging her or her poor choices at all, and they loved her and saw her as any other human being learning from her choices in life.
"Thank-you, Mr. Matthews." She sobs, trying to make it less obvious than it already was.
"Maya, I want you to make the right choices for this baby however."
"Which are?"
"What you see fit for you and more importantly, the baby. But this is your time to grow, Maya."
Maya knew he was always right, that was something she felt that lingered inside her, even if at the moment it wasn't something she wanted to hear. She felt like she had a lot of that during that time: people saying things she knew were true, but she necessarily not what she wanted to hear. For example: telling her parents she was pregnant, or more specifically, explaining to them what had happened. But that was a story for another day.