Title: The Path of the Stars
Rating: T
Genre: Drama, Angst, General, Romance
Warning: pre-Slash (if you look very-very closely), depressive thoughts
Pairing: Seth/Sanguini (it's only implied though you'd never figure it out)
Summary: Seth was always different from others, bearing the name of an Ancient Great God and having a Shadow with the most soulful and striking eyes as his only companion for years, before everything changes...
Disclaimer: I own nothing, although I'm considering writing a very desperate request to Jo, begging her to give Sanguini to me. No money is made of course...
A/N: Just a tiny one-shot, a prequel of sorts of Childe of Destruction, sharing little morsels of Seth's life, showing us that even without him realising, Sanguini was always there, listening and looking after him. This is my apologize for disappearing and updating so rarely, but at the moment I have other projects, which will be out around Christmas, and I plan to pick up CoD after the New Year, so don't worry, it'll be finished.
On another note, I plan to create a Yahoo Group, putting up every scrap of story I have, so you can see that I'm not lazing around. Tell me, if you appreciate the thought!
The Path of the Stars
Birth
"So beautiful! I'm almost afraid to hold him, what if he breaks in my hands?" an overexcited woman cooed in a sickly sweet voice as she looked down the small, bronze skinned baby in the cot.
"What's his name?" asked a gruff man with a slight smile.
"Seth," another woman said, smiling softly at his son.
"A respectable name. We'll see if he can live up to it," the man muttered.
"I'm sure he will be a great man when he grows up. Just like his father," the wife assured his husband with a slight scorn in her voice.
"We'll see." Amber eyes narrowed a little bit.
~oOo~
Year 5
The huge book on his lap was full of pictures and big words he couldn't understand yet, but he was eager to learn. He was always eager to learn new things about himself and the god he was named after. To him the name Seth meant so much more than a simple name and it didn't matter that his mother thought about that biblical figure when she chose his name, he would always believe he was christened after the Great and Cunning God Seth, rival of Horus and companion of Re.
His childish mind couldn't comprehend the complicated legends and tales that the book contained, they spoke about betrayal, love, passion; words the little boy didn't understand, but it mesmerized him none the less.
A soft smile played on his soft features, charcoal eyes twinkled with hidden happiness as he clutched the priceless tome to his little chest, embracing it with his fragile hand. It was a gift, his most priceless possession from a shadow that had the darkest, most bottomless eyes he had ever seen.
"Take good care of it and show it no one!" was the only instruction he got before those black eyes vanished in thin air.
If he hadn't had the book in his hands he would never believe what he'd seen, but the old, tattered book was there and waited for him to seek out its knowledge. And that he did.
Year 8
He always loved the night sky and its countless stars; especially the stars. They looked down at him yet never judged his person and their sparkling light always caressed his face. However Mother Moon frightened him, her intense, watchful light always made him uneasy, he felt inadequate somehow whenever he looked up at her and had to avert his eyes after a moment. Mother Moon demanded attention and the little child never liked attention seekers and arrogance. To him she was just like Isis had been in the legends. Cruel who toyed with greater deities' feelings. She was the cause of Osiris' death and Seth's suffering and he hated her more than anything.
At the tender age of eight, he decided to never trust in women, because even if they acted all nice and coy, they spouted lies and deceived men with despicable acts of weakness. He would never trust in any woman because they didn't deserve his attention at all. Women were nowhere as captivating as the unfathomable black gaze that haunted him in his dreams and sometimes even in his wakeful hours.
The mysterious shadow never appeared again after it gave him the gift, something he still cherished and loved with all of his heart, yet he couldn't forget it and its beautiful gaze that looked at him so curiously and showed tenderness he had never experienced before. Not even with his mother who loved him more than she loved his sister. The shadow was unique and the boy yearned to meet with him again.
Year 10
People looked through him, acting like he wasn't anything important. His sister and her friends ignored him and shooed him away whenever he wanted to join their games. He was too young to understand their games or so they said. They laughed at him, the nicer kids, like Jacob Black, ruffled his hair before gone off with the others, leaving him behind.
The rejection broke his heart every time, yet he never told anything to his mother, keeping his pain locked away, beneath that never fading boyish grin, he plastered over his face. He was alone, truly alone and his only friends were his precious books of the Great Gods; his priceless gifts from his Shadow.
The caressing fingers of the late summer wind stroked his face as he looked after his sister and her friends, left behind once more. He clutched the simple, blue ball in his hands a little tighter and smiled as always; smiled in pain and disappointment.
"You are better than them," an unfamiliar yet so comforting baritone whispered. "And you are not alone."
"But I am," he answered softly, staring at his ball sadly. "Nobody wants me... Nobody sees me..."
"I see you and I will be there for you, always."
"I wish it was the truth." The big grey eyes never look up as the nightly gaze vanished in thin air again.
Year 12
He slammed his bedroom door loudly, perfectly knowing that no one would hear it as the house was completely empty. He wanted to rage, to punch, to kick, to scream at those arrogant dickheads for belittling him, for laughing at him and for mocking him yet again.
He was their favourite target and his sister just sat back and watched as he struggled against the hurtful words and barking snickers after one of the big brutes – mostly Paul or Embry – tripped him or pushed him "accidentally" on the ground. He despised his bitch of a sister, the so perfect and haughty Leah who was his parents pride while he was only the baby of the house; the only son who was nothing more than a disappointment.
He wasn't as bulky as his father wanted him to be, he wasn't into sports or wrestling like the other kids in the tribe. He wasn't studious enough for his mother's taste nor had he enough friends. To them he was the black sheep of the family, of the Tribe because he liked comics – on the surface – and always smiled and joked even when there was nothing to be happy about.
They never saw him, only the mask he put on and they didn't even care to look behind it. He was just strange to them, something they could step over and never notice or coddle without any real care.
He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm his fury without success. Humiliation was a new, despicable feeling, one which he was becoming all too familiar with. Even the stars seemed to mock him that night, twinkling down at him, peeking into his room cheekily, watching as he slowly broke apart beneath his mask of carefree youthfulness.
"I'm truly pathetic," he whispered, lying down on his bed, but the tears just didn't come.
That night a melodious voice's song lulled him into sleep and he unconsciously snuggled closer to the shadowy arms that held him during his stay in the Lands of Dreams. He felt safe and loved... important, something he had never felt before.
Year 13
"I... um... Wanna go out?" his classmate, a blond haired girl, Melinda blurted out blushing furiously.
His mouth hung open in astonishment while he stared at the girl, who was one of the most popular in his class, like she had two head. His brain stopped working, his charcoal eyes widened and he couldn't utter a word until his lips decided to gain control over his frozen mind and made everything worse.
"Sure," he grinned even though he wanted to rip his hair out because of his stupidity.
Yeah, he gained some height and muscle over the summer, making his father proud for the first time in his life, but he wasn't anything special and he most certainly didn't want to go out with the girl in front of him. Not to mention the strange guilt like feeling that tightened his stomach for some reason.
"Great!" she squealed and before he knew what happened she rose to her tip toes and pecked him on the cheek. "See you on Friday at five!" And she was gone.
"Shit," he muttered, wincing as he heard the insane giggles of Melinda's friends.
Know he remembered why he hated girls so much.
His first and definitely last date with a girl or any female for that matter seemed endless and absolutely horrible to him. It started at home as he had to ask his father to give him some money and the man immediately latched onto the topic of his little Seth's first girlfriend, asking him million and one questions and bragging about his own experiences making the young boy gag in his mind.
Then at Melinda's house the girl didn't have the decency of looking ashamed after she made him wait for half an hour while she picked out the perfect outfit, like they were going to some elite party instead of a film to the cinema in Port Angeles. And it would have been okay, because he really didn't fancy the thought of spending three or four hours in the girl's company, but her mother was just as unbearable as his father had been. And if it hadn't been enough, the older boys from the tribe were at the movie theatre too and teased him from afar with irritating smooching sounds and idiotic cat calls.
He was beyond mortified but Melinda enjoyed the attention, smiling at the group before she dragged him away to watch some barely decent romantic comedy. He repressed a sigh and sat through the movie, lamenting on the funny feeling in his chest and his empty life. He was truly pathetic.
'I'm sure the Great God is truly horrified with the bearer of his name now,' he thought bitterly, inwardly shuddering as the girl snuggled against him. 'Or laughing himself senseless.'
In the end he escorted Melinda home and endured another kiss on his cheek, his usual grin on his face until he finally was able to close the door of his room behind him.
"I'm sorry," he said to the darkness which seemed suspiciously cold and empty that night. "I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry and I didn't mean to betray you."
He wanted to cry when no answer came and the night remained just as suffocating as it was before, because he finally understood that pang in his heart. It was regret and shame for betraying his precious Shadow even if it only lived in his imagination.
"I'm truly sorry and the Great God can say I suffered for my mistake," he added softly as he slipped beneath his blanket seeking the warmth which wasn't there.
Year 15
The shift was painful at first and his mind jumbled full of foreign voices and his own cries of agony. His body twisted and was overheated, a pitiful whine escaping his muzzle as he laid on the ground of the forest, truly alone without anyone to help him, trapped in the form of a furry animal and not understanding anything.
Then out of nowhere a warm body covered his own shivering one trying to comfort him, whispers caressing his mind in a soothing way, but it felt so wrong and he wanted nothing more than to get lost in his precious Shadow's eyes... eyes he hadn't seen in years, eyes he missed more and more with each passing day. With the longing came the regret and shame and the soothing whispers became more urgent, demanding him to obey the higher will, the creature that was lying above him, cocooning him into fur and vicious warmth.
Another voice in his head supplied one word, a word he hated immediately, because it meant absolute power over him, a power he didn't want to give, not to the being above him, not anyone but his lovely Shadow...
The Alpha growled and Seth's own body betrayed him, baring his neck like an obedient little slave he became without his consent.
After the shift came the endless explanations and tales about the Cold Ones, insignificant things he couldn't care less about yet had no power but sit there and listen earnestly, the ever present impish smile on his face. He bounded over to Jake, his friend or something, but the older boy was mooning over a human, an outsider that was acting like a zombie because a vampire left her without turning her into one too.
Seth, in the deepest pit of his mind detested the girl, this Isabella, reminding him of Isis who lead on the Great God for the sake of her beloved son, yet on the surface he joked with her, deceiving the seemingly lifeless wench with his goofy smiles and rants about comics, just like he was supposed to do.
"You are a great kid, Seth," she said one afternoon, using that pathetic voice that was supposed to wake protectiveness and pity in him and he grinned just like always spouting off even more nonsense until Jake patted him on his shoulder and took Isabella home.
Seth wished she would never come back.
However not long after that another pack of vampires arrived, vicious and bloodthirsty killing off people and taking their blood for food, and it was their duty to defend the humans and Isabella Swan, who actually seemed to be the main target. Shifting became second nature to Seth and then came the time when he killed a Cold One for the first time, making his stomach churn and even through his animal instincts he wanted to be sick, but there was no time and it was either him or the vampires.
He was selfish enough to want to live, no matter how little there was for him to live for. He fought with everything he had and eventually the regret and sickness vanished from his soul, giving their places to dark desire and satisfaction whenever he was able to destroy one of those walking corpses, not caring about the strange regret that lurked beneath all those murderous needs.
His eyes cased to seek the shimmer of shadows, looking for his Precious who never came again, abandoning him for the mistake of a child...
'Maybe it's for the best.' And with that thought his heart broke one more time, leaving behind nothing but fine sand of glass that was once a soaring, hopeful entity in itself.
Year 16
They were surrounded by vampires once more, Victoria and her entourage ready to finally kill Isabella, the girl Jake was so smitten with despite the obvious fact she was only using him as a substitute for her dear leech that abandoned him like the Shadow left Seth behind. There was no hope for them, it was obvious that the newborns had the upper hand, being stronger and faster, not to mention there was just so many of them, yet here they were gathered in the forest, ready to defend that damned mortal who caused all of their grievance.
Sam growled viciously, ordering them around mentally, invading their privacy and Seth would have given anything to be able to close off his thoughts from his pack mates – what a ridiculously despicable term, he thought –, but there was nothing he could do and the raging emptiness that filled his chest for months now wanted to shed blood to fulfil itself for at least a tiny fragment of a second to make him forget that despite being surrounded by tens of others like him, he was alone when it really mattered.
He wanted to fight, so he could feel alive for a little while, but before he could do so, the air was filled with thunderous power that took everyone's breath away and soon two figure stepped forward changing Seth's life once and for all.