Disclaimer- not mine
A/N this is what happens when you don't sleep and your mind has gone crazy. Jasperblood gave me the idea and helped with plot.
was in the middle of a huge riot in front of an oil tanker screaming at the top of her human lungs
"STOP THIS MADNESS THINK OF THE ANIMALS!" She Was Caring a Sign Saying "OIL CAN COME FROM PEANUTS TOO. USE THAT INSTEAD!" All of the other signs people had, had lines that were even cornier, if that was Possible. Everyone there was shouting and pushing to Get Forward. Bella was making her way upfront to give those evil people that helped pollute the planet a piece of her mind. Being as immensely spastic as she was she tripped on thin air and landed flat On Her Face causing her blood to spurt everywhere. In a Flash she stood up like nothing had happened and Kept going to the Front of the insane riot of crazed people. As she Went Forward On Her Quest to Save the Plant Something went wrong she was pushed out of the crowd and Hit her head on a small pebble Then She was Knocked Unconscious. She woke up and everyone was gone.
"Bella what's wrong?" she looked up and saw her vampire boyfriend running towards her at human speed.
"Nothing Edward I was just saving animals."
"What?"
"Eating animals is just wrong don't you agree?"
"Uhh Bella I have something to tell you." He forgot to tell her that he was a vegetarian vampire so he ate animals. (Makes as much sense as anything else in twilight)
"What is it?"
"I don't eat people I eat animals."
"HOW COULD YOU?" she screech like a cat that had water dumped on it. Edward flinched because he had super hearing making the girl sound much worse.
"You would rather I kill humans?"
"Yes I would because humans are hurting the earth"
"You're human."
"I want to be a vampire so I can kill all humans and save the earth." She then laughed like a madman.
"Bella I think something wrong with you." Edward said somewhat scared of his new girlfriend.
"Don't be silly Eddy poo." She said in a creepily cheery voice and she had that insane smile on her face. Edward had a look of horror on his face. He was shaking with fear at the maybe human girl. He drove her home very fast not wanting to spend much more time with the horrid girl. He drove her up to her house and sighed in relief that she would be gone soon.
"Edward go up to my room in ten minutes." She ordered. He nodded. He stayed out there for a while when she went inside Edward heard her scream.
"DAD WHAT ARE YOU EATING?" so Bella forced her eating habits on her family too.
"Bella I thought you went back to live with your mother because you were gone for so long." Her father said. Edward heard his thoughts and he wanted her gone.
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MEAT IN THIS HOUSE?" Bella screamed again.
"Its just one cheeseburger." He countered.
"One poor, poor innocent cow killed for your enjoyment." Bella started to go upstairs so Edward used his super speed to get up to her room.
"Edward since you wont eat humans and I wont be having you eat animals I will train you so you an survive on vegetable juice." She stated.
"That can't be done!" he yelled.
"YESSSSSSSS IT CAN!" Bella hissed. "I'll keep you in my closet until you can survive only on vegetables."
"What!"
"If you try to escape I'll comb your hair."(Have you seen how messy his hair is he must never combs it)
"Nooooooooooooooo! Anything but that" Edward was defeated so he walked in the closet that Bella had shown him. He walked inside the small dark closet and sat down Bella shut the door locking his only way to escape. He noticed something out of the corner of his eye, it was a body. He examined it close to show that it was mike Newton. Edward was always wondering why the boy suddenly disappeared.
Week 1
"You're a good listener Mike. I now dub you my best friend" Edward knew Mike was dead but he was to. Edward gave the rotting carcass a hug.
Week 4
"They'll come to get me they must noticed I'm gone"
Week 15
"They're not coming are they?"
That was the day when Edward gave up all hope of getting out of that horrid closet.
That day Bella invited (forced) Jacob to come over. They were hanging out In Bella's bedroom when both of them heard his stomach growling.
"I'll get us some cauliflower (I hate that stuff) to snack on Jake." Bella went down stairs to get the vegetables.
"You do that bells." Jacob replied. Once Bella was out of the room Jacob heard scratching noises coming from the closet. Jacob slowly inched his way towards the closet. The scratching sounds got louder. He slowly opened the door almost screamed. There in the closet was Edward Cullen in the fetal position among shriveled up vegetables scratching at the wall. Edward turned and hissed at the light that flooded the room.
"Dude what happened?" Edward sat and took a deep breath (think how James did it in the movie when he first smells Bella) and pounced. He attacked Jacob he was desperate for blood and he would get it at any coast.
"Get a hold of your self Ed" and then Jacob slapped Edward across the face snapping him out of his animal like state.
"Thanks Jacob I needed that."
"Why were you in there?" Jacob asked.
"She wanted me to eat humans but I said no so she wanted me to survive on vegetables."
"You too! She was trying to get the pack to go green. Do I look like I can live without meat?" Edward laughed.
"No. hey do you think anyone will be mad I accidentally on purpose kill her."
"No one I can think of." He answered honestly.
"I have a plan." He whispered it into Jacobs ear and a wicked smirk grew on his face.
When Bella returned with the snack she saw Edward out of the closet (Pun intended but has nothing to do with this story).
"Edward what are you doing out." She asked.
"I've decided to start eating humans' again." he calmly said.
"Who are you going to start with because I have a few ideas." She started but never finished.
"YOU!" Edward pounced and sucked all of her blood out. Both boys looked at the dead girl lying on the floor.
"I should tell the pack." Jacob said looking down at the girl.
"Yeah I have to tell my family about this."
Then everything went back to the way it was. Edward and Jacob became fast friends that lasted for a long time because they were both immortal and Jacob. About 100 years later the human race found a way to clean the planet. Jacob imprinted on a vampire named Amelia and Edward fell for a girl named Emily and they all live happily ever after.
The end
what do you think? good, bad, i need to get some sleep. i stayed up till one in the morning writing this.