Summary: Stewie catch's Brian being his usual douchebag self only for Brian to defend himself with Stewie lack of ambition. Words that he would soon regret.

I do not own Family Guy.

Enjoy!

"Honey. Vorinca. We talked about this" Stewie Griffon said, walking down the street and on his phone and in a suit, he soon heard the sound of a crying woman.

He was so over this.

"Oh, for goodness sake, Vorinca. We have gone past the stage that I will be affected by you crying" Stewie said, he walked passed a certain restaurant only to stop and retract when his mind registered who he just saw.

Brian and what looked like his latest date.

To make matters more interesting she didn't seem comfortable.

"Call you back later, Vorinca," Stewie said, hanging up before the women could say anything and then walking into the restaurant, a smile slowly growing on his face.

"Can I help you, sir?" Said, a waiter.

"Yes, a table for one" Stewie said before adding. "And I want to be near the dog"

"Right this way, sir," Said the Waiter.

Brain soon saw him and Stewie smile got bigger when he saw him visibly cringe as he was sat at the closest table near to him and his date.

"Y-You know what Brian?" His date said. "I really need to go to the bathroom" getting up.

Then she walked usually fast to the bathroom.

Stewie ordered from the menu and when the Waiter was gone, he leaned over to Brian and said. "You know she's not coming back right?"

"Y-You don't know that," Brian said.

"Brian, she ran. Everybody in this restaurant can see it and it was painful" Stewie said while waiting for his order.

And it proved true when Brian waited for a 1 hour and his date did not show up.

It was clear to everybody in the room that she had escaped out of the window.

She was in there for so long that Stewie received his meal, ate it all and paid for the bill.

Brian was depressed.

Stewie decided to cheer him up.

"You okay, their buddy?" Stewie said, walking over and sitting in Brian dates chair.

"No. I'm not alright. That was the 5th girl, who ran away from me this week. I don't know what's wrong with me this week" Brian said.

"Maybe, it's because you radiate extra douche bag this week?" Stewie said.

"...what?" Brian said, looking up.

"I mean Brian...you really let yourself go. Remember that party you dragged me to last week?" Stewie said.

"Uh-huh," Brian said, with narrow eyes.

"You were fine at first but then you got some alcohol in you and you were just terrible in there. Stewie said. "There were a lot of women at that party, that you were highly offensive towards" then he elaborated."I mean, like half the women in the whole town were there and even some celebrity's that like to show up at random parties to snap a picture for Instagram, was there." then he got out his phone and said. "Several people even recorded your meltdown and it's been viewed over a million times."

He clicked on the play button as Brian leaned in, only to cringe when he saw a drunk version of him going up to two beautiful ladies and saying. "Hey, Prostitutes. Take off your bra and let me see what's hiding underneath."

And anyone would have applauded the two women, who were dressed very reasonably, to not waste Brian right there and then.

"We're not Prostitutes" Said, one of them, willing to give the benefit of the doubt since he was clearly drunk.

"Of course, you two are." Drunk Brian said. "Why else do you both dress in skimpy outfits unless you want me to bang you? Now one of you, take out your boobs. I'll give you a 5 for each boob."

But instead of slapping him, both of them looked at him in absolute disgust before walking away.

"Hey, you get back here. You sluts!" Drunk Brian said.

"Okay, turn it off," Brian said, now he wished that his memories of that night would never return.

"The worst part is, you only saw 5 minutes of an hour-long video," Stewie said, making Brian feel embarrassed even more. "And you know that women are bound to talk to other women after a night like that. You should lie low for a while"

"Maybe your right. The moment I said my name was 'Brian Griffon' something in her eyes just changed." Brian said.

And then a hot waitress past him and his tail started wagging.

Stewie recognised what was happening and didn't like it.

"OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, BRIAN!" Stewie said, "Can't you keep it in your pants for even a day!? You see a young, attractive woman and you lose it. You ignore everything in front of you"

"Uh-huh," Brian said, not really listening as he stared at the waitress attractive ass before saying."Excuse me, Stewie. Wait one moment" then he got up and began to walk towards her making Stewie face palmed.

However, Brain was back a minute later with a noticeable hand print on his face.

"I told you that you reek of Douchebag. How did you think that was going to go?" Stewie said, pouring himself some water.

Brian was hurt and wanting to lash out, two strikes in the same night.

Unfortunately, Stewie was in his line of fire.

"Well, at least I try to do something with my life, unlike you," Brian said.

Stewie hand froze, as he processed what Brian just said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Stewie said he was just trying to look out for him only to get complete douche bag, Brian.

"Oh...it's nothing," Brian said.

"No. I want to hear it. What?" Stewie said.

"It's just that... you have no ambition," Brian said.

"Excuse me!?" Stewie said before he said. "Of course, I have ambition. Do you think my money comes from Lois and Peter? How do you think this family hasn't gone down under with what the Fat man makes every year and his antics?"

So many people, wanted Peter's head because the cops couldn't separate their personal lives from their professional lives.

Stewie had to kill, blackmail and pay off the town's people to stop the whole family from being run out-of-town by an angry mob.

"Is that it?" Brian said, unimpressed, it never crossed his mind that the reason why he could live so comfortably was because of Stewie.

How many men and woman wanted his head?

By all right's, he should be kissing Stewie's feet right now but he didn't because Stewie was still a baby.

"W-What do you mean 'is that it'!?" Stewie said. "I've done so many things in the past to count as ambition. After all, I was the one who showed Taylor Swift that she can become big just by singing about past relationships"

#Cue Cutaway gag#

Stewie had just heard a young Taylor Swift sing one of her song's, she wrote.

"So, what do you think?" Taylor said.

"You, have a great voice," Stewie said, making her squeal. "However, I didn't feel anything special from you. There are hundreds of girls who went to be a big-time singer, just like you. Now, if you want to be truly big than you need something to make you stand out from the crowd."

"Like what?" Taylor said.

"I've got it!' Stewie said, "Sing about your past relationships."

"But I've never had a boyfriend before. I spent all my time writing music and singing songs" Taylor said.

"Then just make it up until you break up with your first boyfriend," Stewie said. "And put a lot of emotion into it. Trust me."

#Big record label#

"So, what do you think?" Stewie said to the producer as they sat in the sound room.

"She's going to be huge," Said the producer.

"Did you hear that, Taylor?" Stewie said, speaking into the mike for her to hear. "You're, going to be huge."

Taylor squealed.

#End of Cutaway Gag#

"Yes, you were many things in the past but you never stuck to one thing. At least I chase after them and never stop, no matter how many girls I sleep with." Brain said, "What are you constantly chasing after? What drives you? Just look at you."

Stewie was silent.

"You are a 2-year-old baby who can speak better than any normal person can and can even build a fricken time machine," Brian said, causing Stewie to be even more silent. "You used to strive to kill Lois and take over the world. It was wrong but that was dedication. But after a couple of month's, you dropped it and the fire in you just died. You just do anything now."

Stewie was stunned.

"And look at me. I may go after girls for their hot body's but I also write as well" Brian said, "I cannot tell you how many places turn me down and yet, I'm still going. Because one day, I'm going to write a book that deserves to be popular and recognised by the intellects of the world"

Yeah, Stewie wasn't so sure about that.

Brian writing was still garbage and the only reason he won best seller was that he told people what they want to read without giving some actual advice.

Brian soon became a douchebag because of the fame rushing to his head and was later torn apart on live television.

However, Brian was making a lot of sense.

He used to be so ambitious and determined before.

What on earth happened?

Hell, at some point he had stopped trying to kill Lois and just become one with the family.

He was even protecting the family.

Even the kind of gadgets he had made had changed.

He just made whatever he felt like for the day.

Sure, he was still a bit evil but it was like he had lost his fangs.

He had lost his claws.

If he was to attempt to take over the world right now, who was there to actually stop him?

He had actually gone to the government facility once.

Then Brian saw a hot late-night jogger and said. "Sorry, Stewie got to go. Pay my bill for me"

Then the dog was off leaving him with the bill.

"Sir, your bill," Said, the manager, giving him the slip of paper.

"What the hell?" Stewie said as he looked at what Brian and his date ordered. "Could you have been even more of a pig? How was Brian going to pay for this, when I know he's flat broke?"

"So, are you paying or what?" Said, the Manager.

"Oh, yes," Stewie said, not happy that he was set back a whopping 200 hundred dollars because of Brian.

It was safe to say that when Stewie walked out he was fuming.

Sometimes he even wondered why he bothered to be a friend, to Brian.

Was it the desperation because Brian was the only one in the family who could understand him except for those one-off times?

He remembered the relationship he had with the dog was standard at the beginning and even now they had some moments, but Brian most of the time was a douchebag.

He had been so eager to be accepted by Brian that he even let Brian smoke Mushrooms when he found that he had it, this proved to be a huge mistake and he nursed him back to sanity for hours.

But he did not hear once a "Thank you" or "I'll think twice before using them again".

Brian went back to being a douchebag the very next day.

Brian was the douchebag who promised to help him at daycare but ended up turning a blind eye because the woman in charge was hot. He only turned her in because he found out she had a boyfriend and he had the gall to be self righteous as she was taken away.

Screw the nice moments they had, Stewie know he could do a lot better.

"For Christ sake, Stewie. What's to stop you from making a machine so that everybody could understand you?" Stewie said, "Why am I limiting myself to a dog who does nothing but chase after women and thinks he's above everybody else because he reads books? I can take over this whole town and make everybody bow to me. I'll get tones of friends, who are way better than him. But why stop there? This whole world could be taken over with my intellect."

He was disgusted with himself.

He could be truly great and yet, here he was disguised and letting a dog stick him with the bill.

"Well tonight, I'll have to thank Brian," Stewie said. "If it wasn't for his words, it wouldn't have woken up. I've got a lot of planning to do tomorrow. Plans that will change the world."

Both old Stewie, with his ambition and now Stewie, with his experience, combined into one.

In years to follow even after Brian was gone, the world will thank and spit on Brian Griffon's grave for what he did tonight.

And scene!

By the way, I meant no disrespect to Taylor Swift, she is an amazing singer and I was just trying to get into the spirit of Family Guy. Please review/favourite and follow!