He studied her out of the corner of his eye. He knew all the signs. Quiet, despondent; she would only reply yes or no or nod her head when spoken to. And her dark, hollow eyes said it all. The large dark circles beneath them and the hazy, distant faraway look they gave said it all. If she wasn't there yet she would be soon. Bass knew it—Charlie was deeply depressed & if she kept on like this, he was worried she might try to hurt herself.

Connor had told him of the things she'd said; about how short their life expectancy was and that they were all on the losing end of the battle, that basically, there was no hope.

Ever since they'd returned from Austin two weeks earlier, they'd all been keeping a close eye on her, only to her consternation. She insisted she was fine, just tired. He knew she wasn't sleeping, had even taken to drinking moonshine at night to no avail—she still tossed and turned, until eventually she would just give up and go sit in a dark corner somewhere waiting for morning.

He took first watch each night and saw these things firsthand. He knew Miles & Rachel were beyond worried about her but he wasn't sure even they knew the extent to which she'd gotten to. He knew it all too well, though—he'd been there before. He thought about going to Miles with his concerns about Charlie but thought better of it. Charlie would resent him for it, saying he was making them worry even more for no reason. So he decided he'd talk to her on his own- if and when he could get her alone. Her mother tended to hover which seemed to be the only thing that brought Charlie to life now because she would become so infuriated with her; telling her she was no longer a child, that she was fine & to just leave her alone. Eventually, Rachel started listening and kept her distance but still watched her from afar.

He hoped he was wrong…he hoped to God he was. But he had to know—and if she really was in trouble, he had to help her. He realized that somewhere along the line he had grown to care about her. At first he told himself it was because of the promise he'd made Rachel in the tower the night the bombs went off. He had promised to protect Charlie. At the time, it was simply words spoken to appease Rachel so they could get the hell out of the room they were locked in. Over time, he realized that it was more than that. He had tried to convince himself it was to make up for Danny—not that he ever could. Rachel reminded him of that almost every day. Charlie, on the other hand, didn't seem to hold it against him any longer. For a while there, they almost seemed like friends. They worked well together, often fighting side by side. Between the two of them they had saved each other's lives several times- and somehow during that time he had grown to care about her very much. He told himself it was the way a father or uncle would care about her, like Miles did. But he knew deep down he was only lying to himself. It went much deeper than that and he was only now beginning to accept it- not that he would or could do anything about it. She was Mile's niece for god's sake! He'd be dead meat. Not only that but she had slept with his son! Connor said things had cooled off, that she wasn't even talking to him since Austin…since Jason.

He found her the next morning where she always was- at the fire sipping her coffee. She stared blankly into the flames.

"Hey", he said. She looked up with the same blank expression. She nodded. He considered this to be better than nothing & sat down next to her. "I've been thinking…" he said, "It's been a while since we've had some really good game for dinner." He looked at her, still nothing. "These guys deserve a feast….hell, we all do!"

She glanced at him, "So?" The hollows of her eyes pained him like nothing else. She looked so gaunt because she wasn't eating; she was the real reason he wanted a feast- to try and get her to eat.

"Well, I was thinking about goin' deer hunting…later today- at twilight when they're busy feeding." He took a breath. "Wondered if you'd come with me?"

"Why?" She stared blankly ahead.

"Why? Because we need some good food for a…"

She cut him off. "No, why me?"

He sighed. "Because when it comes to using a crossbow you're the best there is & I could..."

"Why are you complimenting me? You never compliment me", she interrupted.

Well, he thought, at least he'd got her talking; but he had to move cautiously in terms of what he said next or she'd bolt. She didn't tolerate people kissing her ass just because of the state she was in.

"You're right" he said, "I don't. But that doesn't mean it isn't true. Look," he challenged, "if you're not up to it, fine. I'll find somebody else. Just thought you'd like to get up off your ass for once and do something rather than sit around all day. Never mind." He got up and began walking away.

"Wait", she said.

Bingo! He smiled.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing because I do", she said sarcastically. "But you're right- these guys have worked hard & deserve something for it. And if only to get away from my mom's constant hovering for a few hours, I'll do it."

He smiled inwardly, not having turned around. "Good," he stated. "Meet you at sunset."

Charlie remained sitting by the fire for a little while longer. The camp was beginning to liven up, people slowly waking up to the new day. She wanted to be up and out of here before her mom got to her. Rachel, her mother, would just badger her with questions, trying to get her to do things she didn't feel like doing. She couldn't stand it—it had gotten so bad she couldn't even stand the sound of her mom's voice any more.

She finished her coffee, grabbed her crossbow and started walking up the hill behind the plant they were currently living at. She thought about Monroe. She knew exactly what he was doing by asking her to go hunting. She would often catch him watching her, and knew he was wondering what was going on with her. When he'd asked about hunting she'd wanted to tell him to go to hell. But there was just something about that man—she hadn't ever backed down from a challenge, especially when it came from him. She had always been strong & a bit stubborn and she hated appearing weak, especially in front of him. For a while there it almost seemed like they'd been becoming friends. But that all changed once Connor had joined them….once she'd slept with him. After that Monroe had become quite snippy with her, often crude, sometimes downright mean. She wondered what that meant exactly. He couldn't possibly be jealous…could he?

She sat down by an abandoned building & took a sip from her canteen. The thought of food turned her stomach. Nothing had sounded good…nothing had felt good…not since Jason. They all told her it wasn't her fault…Miles, her mom, grandpa. But that didn't chase away the feelings of guilt haunting her. Night time was the worst. The darkness enveloped around her and she just couldn't take it. She drank the men's moonshine to try and pass out. The first few nights it had worked, if only for a few hours. After that her body had adjusted or something because nothing helped her sleep. The little bits she did get here and there were loaded with nightmares of Jason asking her "why? Why did you kill me, Charlie?" and she would wake up drenched in sweat, afraid to close her eyes again.

At times she wished it had been her, not him. She wished she'd been the one to die instead of Jason. She honestly didn't see the point of any of it anymore. The fighting, trying to pretend there would be a better future for all of them down the road. She knew it was stupid, that they were all dead anyway. Sooner or later, everyone she loved would be gone. She'd already lost so many: her dad, Maggie, Danny, Nora…Jason. She just hoped she wasn't the last one standing, utterly & literally alone.

It was at those times in her train of thought that she would take out her hunting knife & trace small lines down the insides of her wrists- if it got too bad she knew what she had to do.

She had a plan.