So this little ficlet came about because an actual event that happened to me. I mentioned it to some of the gutter flowers and forgot about the rule of the chat - if it happens to you, you have to write about it - and well... here we are. It was suppose to be short and funny but as my muse tends to do it, it got away from me. And sadly, no Brit burst into my room but that's what makes it fiction. :)

As always enjoy, and reviews feed the muse!

Part 1

Emma groaned as she walked into her apartment, stumbling slightly in her high heels. She had just endured the longest day of her entire existence and all she wanted to do was ditch the skin-tight dress she had borrowed from Ruby and burrow under her extremely soft comforter so she could pass out from exhaustion. Who knew shopping for a wedding dress and collaring a sleeze ball accountant who had run out on his bail would have her so drained. She had spent the better part of eight hours being dragged around by her future sister-in-law and although every excruciating second had been worth it when Mary Margaret walked out of the changing room in that dress, it was an experience that forced a normally introverted Emma to 'be on' for a lengthy amount of time.

There hadn't been any down time to recharge her batteries between shopping for miles and miles of tulle and getting dolled up to collar her bail jumper either, a fact made worse by the fucker running which had forced her to run in five inch heels. Her feet hurt, she was mentally and emotionally exhausted, and coupled with the fact she had been awoken bright and early that morning by her obnoxious neighbor, she just wanted to sleep for the next 1,000 years.

Yeah, she needed a good night's sleep.

Kicking her black pumps off in the general direction of her shoe rack - she could wear heels as good as the next girl but preferred the comfort of her trusty boots - and ignoring the black ball of fluff that poked it's head out from behind her recliner, she made her way toward the stairs that lead to the upper half of her townhouse. Dumping her keys, phone, and small clutch atop the dresser in her bedroom she quickly shed her dress and bra, snickering to herself when she heard an indigent meow from where the dress landed on the floor.

"Well you shouldn't be up my ass," she laughed, turning to see her eight-year-old cat, Merlin, shaking himself from beneath the barely there dress. Bright green eyes looked up at her as if to say 'Perhaps you shouldn't throw your clothes all over the place' before he quickly bounded over to her and rubbed his head along her lower legs.

"I missed you too," she mumbled, reaching down to give the solid black cat a scratch. "What are you going to do when I go to New York for David and Mary Margaret's wedding?"

Merlin meowed sadly and Emma groaned. She would have to see if Belle could house sit for her over that long weekend - no way in hell was Merlin going to handle being left alone for four days. The last time she had done it she had come home from a spontaneous beach trip to find the mirror from her vanity on the floor and his water and food bowls moved from the kitchen to the living room - Merlin couldn't handle not seeing her for long stretches of time, obviously.

Stifling a yawn, she moved toward her dresser and grabbed her favorite nightgown. It was faded pink, almost white now with age, and had a picture of Tinkerbell dancing on the front of it. David had given it to her over ten years ago as a gag gift one Christmas but it was comfortable, the material feather-light and soft to the touch. Usually she slept naked but she knew Merlin would be clingy with her being gone all day and she wanted a buffer between her skin and her cat's habit of kneading her chest while he slept.

Pulling on the well-worn nightgown she flopped down on the edge of the bed, watching Merlin jump up and steadily make his way toward her, his own green eyes already drooping in anticipation of sleep. Shifting so she could slide her legs beneath the comforter Merlin immediately climbed into her lap, causing Emma to let out an umpf! of pain as he worked on distributing his weight evenly. When the black cat was curled in her lap, his tail twitching lazily, she reached over and turned off her bedside lamp before settling down herself, already half asleep before her head even touched the pillow.

Just as her head made contact with the pillow a loud buzzing noise sounded from beneath it and Emma's eyes snapped open. Screaming loudly into the dark room she flung the comforter off her and jumped from the bed, sending Merlin crashing to the floor with an agitated meow. She didn't know what form of monster was beneath her pillow but she was going to be damn sure it didn't get her. Scrambling about her dark bedroom Emma grabbed the first weapon she could find - a pair of scrapbooking scissors from atop her dresser. Just as she was turning to do battle with whatever hell beast had invaded her room, her sleep deprived mind caught up with the situation.

The buzzing from beneath her pillow wasn't a demon - it was her damn vibrator.

Merlin's angry meows grew stronger as he tried to dislodge himself from the comforter while Emma blinked into the dark room, her now alert mind going back to the reason her vibrator was continuing to buzz under her pillow.

A pair of lips pressed feather light kisses into her skin as they made their way down her stomach, causing goosebumps to erupt in their wake. Strong hands gripped her thighs with confidence and she gasped as facial hair scraped deliciously over the sensitive skin of her lower belly, just out of reach of where she needed him to be. She moaned at the feel of his tongue darting out to taste her flesh, her hands curling into the bed sheets when she felt his hot breath finally ghost over her core. There was a pause in his movements and she whined in frustration. She wasn't in the mood for teasing, she just wanted him to take care of the growing ache between her legs like only he could.

"Please," she whispered, her hips lifting subconsciously toward the source of her desire. A deep chuckle surrounded her.

"Impatient, aren't we?"

Emma gritted her teeth as her clit throbbed at the warm puffs of air against it. "Get on with it already, Jones," she growled.

Another deep chuckle echoed through the room, causing her to look down and God what a mistake that was. The sight of that dark head of hair between her thighs was enough to almost make her come undone right then and there and Emma had to bite her lip as those dazzling blue eyes, now a dark shade of midnight, looked up at her.

"Please," she begged again, hips rolling.

His teeth flashed white against his dark facial hair. "Don't worry, Swan, I'm going to take very good care of you."

Her eyes closed as his head ducked down, his shoulders spreading her legs even wider. Her entire body was taut with anticipation and her fingers tightened in the sheets as his warm breath grew closer and closer….

Emma jerked awake to the sound of someone singing - quite loudly - outside her bedroom window and she groaned. Of fucking course it would be him. Her neighbor was the only person who would be up at an ungodly hour singing like he was auditioning for American Idol. Hadn't she complained to him about this before? Not everyone wanted to be up with the sun on a Saturday. Looking at her alarm clock and seeing 8:00 flashing back at her Emma moaned in annoyance. She wasn't due to meet Mary Margaret until 10:00 and there was no way she was starting off a day that was going to test her introvertness to its limits before 9:00. Rolling over and placing her extra pillow over her head, she attempted to drown out his crooning and fall back asleep.

That was impossible though, and for two reasons.

The first reason was that while her mind wanted to sleep, her body had other plans. She could feel the wetness and ache between her thighs from her dream - one she refused to admit had starred her annoying neighbor, even though it had - and since it had been two weeks since she had gotten herself off, her body was not easily letting go of its desire. The second reason came in the form of Merlin. Ever the observant cat, he had realised his guardian was awake and took it upon himself to walk on the pillow over her head, meowing excessively to be fed.

She had tried ignoring her cat and her body's demands to be sated - and the continued singing of 80's pop songs - but after five minutes she realised there was no going back to sleep. Pushing Merlin off her head with an annoyed sigh Emma rose, muttering about the numerous ways she was going to kill and hide her neighbor's body as she quickly pulled on a white tank top and pair of yellow sleep shorts. Stumbling down to the kitchen, she flicked the 'on' button to the coffee machine before grabbing Merlin's food from the pantry. Once the black fluffball who acted like he hadn't eaten in days had been fed, she moved to start her own breakfast when the singing once again reached her. Gritting her teeth in irritation, Emma slammed the pan she had been planning on making pancakes with down on the stove and marched to her sliding glass door, angrily unlocking it and throwing it open. She had every intention of giving her ungrateful neighbor the verbal lashing of the century for singing David Bowie's Magic Dance at the top of his lungs on a Saturday morning - even if he was singing it well.

She had taken three steps onto her patio and frozen.

Killian Jones, her annoying neighbor, was kneeling next to his own patio, elbow deep in his little flower garden, and looking hot as hell while giving Bowie a run for his money. Her eyes shamelessly ran up and down his figure, unable to help herself from admiring the way his jeans hugged his ass just right as he bent over or the way his biceps, which were on full display thanks to the sleeveless shirt he was wearing, flexed as he pulled at weeds. His shirt was drenched in sweat leading her to imagine what other activities could make him sweat like that, which only made her think of the erotic dream he had rudely woken her from.

He may be the most annoying man on the face of the planet but Emma wasn't blind - although he was being super annoying right now.

"Hey, Jones!"

She watched as his head turned toward her, one dark eyebrow rising. "Swan, what a lovely surprise. I didn't think you were ever up this early in the morning."

"I'm not," she huffed, hands going to her hips, "But someone woke me up at the ass crack of dawn with his singing."

Killian sat back on his legs, regarding her with a smirk. "Come now, love, I don't think you can blame me for-"

"Your little man garden is right below my bedroom window, you infuriating Brit. Or did you forget - again?"

He looked up to her bedroom window which, while on the second floor and thus a good twenty feet above him, was directly situated over the area where his garden sat. He turned to look back at her. "Morning serenades not your thing, lass?"

Emma had to grit her teeth against the urge to pick a potted plant up and throw it at his face. "No, they aren't, and you know this. You woke me up with your dog yodeling two weeks ago, remember?"

Killian hummed in thought as he stood, all but swaggering to where she stood as he took his gardening gloves off. "All I remember is a very passionate woman wearing an adorable bathrobe coming to accost me as I trimmed my bushes." He bit his lower lip, bright blue eyes wandering her form. "I must say I much prefer this attire, Swan. Very… delightful."

Emma felt her face flush under his heated gaze, suddenly questioning her decision to storm out and ring him a new one in a flimsy tank top and barely-there shorts. Hoping he didn't notice the extra color to her cheeks she crossed her arms over her chest, blocking her breasts from his wandering eye.

"You're incorrigible, you know that, Jones?"

Killian smirked. "Just admiring a beautiful woman, love."

"I'm not your love," she snapped, refusing to let her eyes fall from his smirking face to the hot body that was inches away from her. The man had an ego a mile wide, no need to feed it even more. "Just keep your singing down or the next time I come out here I'm bringing my handcuffs and chaining you to your own damn grill."

His tongue darted out to lick his lower lip and her eyes did not follow its path.

"Into the tying up thing are we, Swan? It's not my normal forte but for you I'll make an exception."

Emma huffed and refusing to dignify his innuendo with a verbal response, turned and made her way back to her apartment. She had just reached her sliding glass door when he chuckled deeply, the sound so like the one from her dream that she felt the persistent ache between her legs respond to it.

"Red is a lovely shade on you, lass."

Gritting her teeth even as her cheeks flamed ever redder, she entered her apartment and slammed the sliding glass door with more than enough force to cause the wine glasses hanging above her kitchen island to rattle.

Emma shook her head at the memory of that morning's events, groaning when she recalled what she had done next. Pissed off at her obnoxious neighbor and with her body all but demanding a release, she had stormed her way back up to her bedroom and given herself some long overdue self love. She had tried to conjure the image of a faceless man to get her off but her mind had kept drifting back to her erotic dream and the way Jones had looked out there, all sweaty and muscles on display. And, well… Emma was only human. He was a fine specimen of a man, she couldn't deny that, and if he wasn't so infuriatingly annoying she might have already fucked him ten ways to Sunday. But he continued to push her buttons every chance he got so she had used her imagination to its full extent, coming hard with his name on her lips.

Stopping to relieve the ache between her thighs had meant she was running late to meet Mary Margaret so she had done what any self respecting adult would do - washed her vibrator off, stuck it in it's carry bag, and shoved it beneath her pillow - no need to just leave it lying about in case the maintenance man finally decided to show up to fix her leaking shower head. Only Emma had forgotten she had put it there and in her half asleep, drained introvert state had thought something was attacking her.

Fucking marvelous. What was her life, really?

She was about to move to help Merlin from the tangled comforter when a loud banging noise rang out through her apartment. What the fuck? Emma froze as she heard someone racing up the stairs. She was contemplating what weapons she had within the room - she wasn't above tossing an angry Merlin at an intruder's face - when she heard a familiar accented voice.

"Swan!"

Fuck - it was her annoying yet insanely hot neighbor!

Before she could move a figure was running into her bedroom and within seconds Emma found herself blinking against the bright overhead light. Once she could actually see - had David put in a 300 watt bulb? - she looked over to see none other than Killian Jones stood in her bedroom. For all his pestering of her she didn't really know him that well. He had moved in about six months ago and from the moment they had met in front of the complex's mailboxes he had gotten under her skin. It wasn't just the shameless flirting or the innuendos that seemed to drip like honey from his mouth - it was the way he would look at her. Like he could see into her very soul with those too-blue eyes, like he was looking at a kindred spirit.

Which made no sense to her because Emma kept to herself. She wasn't one to be Mary Poppins with her neighbors like Mary Margaret - hell, she could barely remember her own landlord's name - but he looked at her like he knew every dark secret she kept. It was slightly unnerving for a woman who had spent her entire life keeping mile hile walls around herself, more so because she knew next to nothing about him. She knew he was a lawyer of some kind having seen him leave as she was returning home from an all-night stakeout dressed in a suit and talking to someone on the phone about getting a warrant for some drug dealing scumbag. She knew he held a poker night at his house every Saturday with a bunch of fellow Brits - if the accents were any indication. She also knew he had a green thumb considering the small botanical garden that surrounded his patio.

But nothing of a personal nature - why he was in the States, what had brought him to Storybrooke, how he took his coffee or if he had any family. She had contemplated looking into him (she was a bail bonds person, after all) but had stopped herself shy of actually typing his name into the computer. Knowing things about him beyond his name, profession, and love of flowers would force her to look past the annoying way he pushed her buttons and flirted with her, would let her catch a glimpse of the man behind all that and she was fine with only seeing him in bits and pieces.

Only at the moment she was seeing a whole lot of him.

He was stood in her bedroom clad in a pair of red plaid pajama pants and nothing else. His lack of a shirt gave her an unobstructed view of his torso; the toned but not overly muscled chest, black hair that covered it and ran down his lean stomach to taper off into the waistband of his sleep wear, broad shoulders that were meant to be gripped in the throes of passion. He had always looked hot even with all his clothes on but he looked downright fuckable while only half dressed.

Realizing he had said something to her Emma shook her head, eyes shooting up from his chest to meet blue eyes filled with concern.

"What?"

"I asked where you alright, love?"

"Uh… Y-yeah, I'm fine," she responded before narrowing her eyes at him. "What are you even doing here, Jones?"

"I heard your scream all the way to my apartment."

"And you decided to just barge in late at night because you heard a scream?"

Killian rolled his eyes. "Forgive me, Swan. I'm a gentleman and was only concerned about your well being."

"Oh, now you want to be a gentleman," Emma goaded.

"I'm always a gentleman, love," he replied, a wide grin on his face.

"Not your love," she muttered, tossing her scrapbooking scissors back onto her desk. Before she could say anything else he was moving toward her.

"So if an intruder wasn't breaking in, what made you scream?"

"I just forgot my-" Emma's eyes widened as she realised her vibrator was still buzzing away happily beneath her pillow. Wonderful. That's all she needed her obnoxious neighbor to discover - she had been scared half to death by her own vibrator or, even worse, the fact that she needed to use it. She was saved from finishing her sentence by the timely appearance of Merlin who had finally found his way out of the comforter. The black cat's whiskers twitched as he seemed to glare up at Emma before turning his attention to the stranger.

"Oh, hello there little one," Killian soothed in that accent that should definetly not send a bolt of want through her, kneeling so he could get a better look at the cat. She watched as Merlin cautiously approached her neighbor's outstretched hand. "I've seen you sunbathing in the windows. What's his name?"

"Merlin," Emma murmured, eyebrows rising as Merlin flopped onto his back with a flourish, allowing Killian to pet his belly. That damn cat usually hated strangers - hell, he still gave David the cold shoulder after eight years - and yet here he was, letting a complete stranger give him love without a single claw in sight. Traitor.

As Emma continued to watch Killian pet a docile Merlin, she couldn't help but be more than a little perplexed at the situation she had found herself in. He had responded to her initial snippy remarks with his usual annoying banter but she couldn't deny that before she had started asking him questions, there had been genuine concern for her in his eyes. Which was absurd - they were simply neighbors and he liked to press her buttons to get a rise out of her. She could admit he wasn't a complete asshole and that perhaps he had been concerned for her as any neighbor would if they had heard her scream - she was a single woman living on her own, after all. But there had been more than just simple concern for another human being in his gaze. That glint of something deeper that was always there when he didn't think she was watching had been there but again, that was absurd. They didn't know each other and she could barely stand him, even if he did look like he would give her the ride of a lifetime….

"What is that sound?"

Emma blinked in confusion at him until she realised he could hear her vibrator, still buzzing away. Fuck. "Oh, that's um… my phone. Yep. My phone."

Killian tilted his head in thought. "No, it's a different sound from a phone vibrating. I can't place it but I've heard it before..."

I bet you have. "I'm sure it's nothing."

"Whatever it is it's coming from beneath your pillow-"

"I told you, Jones, it's just my phone."

Killian suddenly stopped scratching Merlin's belly, a triumphant and pleased grin slowly spreading across his face.

"Swan."

"What?" she asked wearily, not liking that smug grin on his face at all.

"Is that your vibrator?"

Emma's eyes widened comically. "What? Are you… why would… it is not!" she spluttered.

Killian chuckled, giving Merlin's belly one final pat before standing. "On the contrary, love, I believe it is."

"What are you, the vibrator sound expert now?"

His grin grew. "While most of the women I've been with have no need for such a device, I know that sound. And considering your phone is on your dresser and not lit up, I'm going to stick with my theory that it's your vibrator beneath your pillow."

Emma's eyes shot to her dresser and sure enough her phone was still where she had sat it before undressing, silent as ever. Groaning in frustration - seriously, what was her fucking life? - she stormed with as much dignity as she could over to her pillow. Flinging it to the other side of the bed she picked up the buzzing vibrator, ripping it from its silk carrying bag and hitting the off button before turning back around.

"There. Satisfied?" she asked irritably, holding the pink vibrator up to show him he had been right. He bit his lip and she could tell he was trying not to laugh.

"I take it this is what made you scream? Although I must say it didn't sound very pleasurable-"

"You're an ass, you know that?" she snapped, more than a little irritated with the situation. "If you must know I put it under my pillow and forgot about it and considering someone woke me up with his singing this morning, I was half asleep and thought-"

"That a nefarious beast was after you?" he said with a grin.

Emma narrowed her eyes at him even as the bastard tilted his head again, eyeing the device in deep thought.

"A bit small, isn't it?"

Emma huffed. "Please tell me you're not about to compare yourself with my vibrator."

One dark eyebrow rose. "I can assure you, Swan, there isn't any comparison." His tongue licked the corner of his lips. "Would you like to find out?"

"Please," Emma muttered with a roll of her eyes, "You couldn't handle it."

"On the contrary, I don't think you could handle it," he responded, popping the last 't' as he came to stand inches in front of her. Leaning forward slightly he continued in a deep whisper, "If the sounds you were making this morning are any indication, of course."

Emma froze, eyes widening in shock. "What?"

Killian smirked. "After yelling at me about singing beneath your bedroom window did you not think sound traveled both ways, lass?"

"Oh god."

Emma's eyes shut as her cheeks burned bright with embarrassment. He had heard her masturbating, a fact that while embarrassing wasn't fully mortifying - she was an adult and it was a healthy pastime, after all - but that also meant he had heard her use him as her basis to get off. And that was mortifying considering their banter and the fact they really didn't know each other. She was going to have to move. She'd have to leave Storybrooke because it was a small town, possibly change her name…

Before she could continue planning her relocation into witness protection she felt his hot breath ghost over her ear.

"I must admit, Swan, hearing you moan my name in the middle of pleasuring yourself was far better than I had ever imagined."

Emma's eyes flew open at his words. He was leaning back, eyes glinting with desire as his tongue ran along his bottom lip almost unconsciously.

"What?" she breathed. Surely she had misheard him.

He closed the last few inches between them until she could feel the heat of his body, her fingers itching to run over that muscular chest.

"Surely you didn't think you were the only one," he murmured, his gaze boring into her. "Do you know how many nights I've taken myself in hand with your name on my lips? How often I've envisioned you in my bed?"

Emma's breath hitched as she felt his hand skim her side, sparks shooting down her spine. "Y-You never said anything," she whispered, a gasp escaping her lips as his hand dropped to grasp her hip, pulling her flush to him. Her own hands came up to clutch at his shoulders, her vibrator falling forgotten to the floor. She could feel every hard inch of him through her thin nightgown, the hardness between his thighs causing her own thighs to clench with desire.

"Because what I want from you Emma isn't a simple fuck." Her eyes widened at his use of her first name - in the entire time he had been annoying her as a neighbor he had never once used it. Looking into his eyes she could still desire but there was something else, that look that said he could see into her soul.

"I want to know you, more than I already do. I want to know what makes you tick, what you like and dislike about the world, what you're passionate about… I want to know what you crave."

Emma moaned as he grinded against her, her eyes falling shut as the coil of desire ignited within her. She knew what he was talking about - he wanted a relationship, to date her, and that was something Emma Swan couldn't give him. She had learned long ago beneath a covered bridge as handcuffs were put on her that relationships caused nothing but pain, that opening herself up to someone only lead to her losing a piece of herself.

"I can't," she whispered, surprised by the amount of regret in her voice. "Killian… I can't."

She felt his hands flex at her hips and she instinctively swayed closer to him. She couldn't give him her heart but she could give him her body, soothe the ache that they both clearly felt. Before she could suggest that his soft lips were pressing to her forehead and he was stepping away from her. Her eyes snapped open to see him standing a few feet in front of her. His pajama pants were tented almost comically, hands clenched at his sides in an obvious sign of trying to reign in his own hormones. His face was relaxed though, no judgement or disappointment within those blue orbs, only understanding.

"What are you doing?"

He smiled softly. "Saying goodnight, Swan."

"Why?" Hadn't he just had her pressed against him, the movement of his hips telling her just how much he wanted her? "We can- You don't have to go."

"Aye, I do," he said, voice slightly strained. "I'll see you around, and I promise to keep the morning singing to a decent level."

"Okay," she murmured, completely lost as to what had just happened. He gave her a small nod and turned to give Merlin, who had jumped onto the bed at some point, a few scratches on the head before heading toward her bedroom door.

"Swan?"

Emma's eyes flickered up from Merlin to see Killian standing just within her doorway.

"Yeah?"

"I was wrong."

"About what?"

A smirk pulled at his lips. "That nightgown is a far lovelier look on you than any shade of red could be."

Without another word he disappeared down the stairs, leaving an utterly confused and turned on Emma staring after him.