Her stomach was unsettled, which wasn't surprising considering the life growing inside her. She had been feeling off and throwing up occasionally for weeks, and had put it down to the stress of war time, and of not knowing what was going to happen or what she was going to need to do in the next few hours, let alone the next few weeks. She had never thought of herself as someone who wanted a stable and predictable life, but now that she had the opposite of that she saw the appeal of heading into the same office everyday, and doing the same work, and coming home at the same time everyday to her husband who she absolutely adored.

"What are you thinking about?" A voice interrupted her train of thought.

"Huh?" She questioned looking up at her husband.

"I said- what're you thinking about. You look worried, Dora." He repeated his question, placing his hand on her arm.

"Oh, nothing really. Just thinking about what we have to do tonight." She wasn't really lying, she was thinking of the future after all. She smiled and pulled the hand he had on her arm around her until he was leaning almost off his chair, with an arm around her shoulders.

"And what's that?" He asked shuffling his chair closer to hers.

"Well, dinner is almost ready so we should probably eat," She explained half jokingly, her stomach was turning at the thought of eating anything but she didn't want to worry him more than he already was. "And then we should do the dishes, and spend some time together because for once we haven't been called to anything for the order and we should take advantage of that." Plus, she thought, I have some big news that you should probably hear.

"That sounds like a rare normal night in for the Lupins," he was smiling, happy to get to spend some time with the woman he loved, "Perfect."

The timer on the oven buzzed and she got up, and began serving their dinner on the mismatched and chipped plates. Careful not to drop anything she slowly carried their plates over and sat them in front of Remus and herself, sat down and began picking at her food working up the courage to tell him and praying that the response wouldn't be as negative as she feared it would be. Her colour drained slightly with nausea before she morphed it away, hoping he hadn't noticed her turning green.

"You're not hungry?" He asked her his brows knitting together in worry and confusion, he had never known her to not be hungry- it took a lot of energy to morph herself and so her metabolism was fast and her appetite was big, that was the theory behind why she ate more than anyone he'd ever met, anyway.

"Not really," she sighed pushing her food around her plate. She knew she had to tell him and wasn't one hundred percent certain of how to say it, or of how to reassure him it would be okay when she was so worried herself. "I guess I'm not feeling great," was all she managed to say.

Remus narrowed his eyes at her, he was always able to tell when she was lying, or keeping something from him. "Dora…" he started, he hated when she kept things from him, he knew he sometimes got overly worried but that didn't mean that he didn't want to know when something was bothering his wife.

"Well…" she started, feeling even more like she was going to be sick, she swallowed and hoped he couldn't see the fear in her eyes, or the nausea on her face, "I don't quite know how to tell you this. Please don't freak out- I mean yes it's going to be a big change but we can handle it, I think, and I know the timing isn't ideal but it's not like theres any guarantee that the timing will be any better later-" She was rambling, trying to reassure him of everything that could possibly go wrong before she had even told him what was happening.

"Dora," He interrupted her, "What's going to be a big change?" He asked somewhat hesitantly, weary of what her answer could be.

"I'm pregnant," she spoke softly now, waiting for him to react. She was met with nothing but stunned silence for what felt like a lifetime. "We're going to have a baby." She wanted to smile and for him to smile and more than anything she wanted him to say something.

He could feel the colour drain from his face as his mind went blank. He didn't know what to do or to say, and he certainly didn't know how to feel. He sat in silence, hardly moving and barely breathing, trying to let his brain catch up with reality. How could this happen? They had been so careful, well more careful than any married couple he'd ever known. He locked eyes with her and could see how frightened she was, he never wanted to make her feel like this and the fear in her eyes only reminded him that he was after all a monster, no matter what she said or did to prove otherwise. Even if he was human right now, he saw himself as the worst monster imaginable. To make someone who loves you so much be so frightened…

"Please say something." She was barely whispering now, but still the sound of her voice pulled him out of his spiralling thoughts.

"I… don't know." He said simply, and without any explanation.

"What don't you know?" Tonks was leaning closer to him, "We can work this out together, we can-"

"We can what, Dora?" He asked, furious with himself for letting this happen, "We can sit by and watch while I ruin lives yet again?"

"Remus, don't-"

"No, this is my fault. I knew this was the risk of letting myself be happy. I should have let you move on from me, I should have just watched you marry someone else. But I was selfish and now I've ruined everything." He was standing now, suddenly sure of what he needed to do. "I have to go."

"No, Remus, please stay. Talk to me," she was pleading with him, trying to talk sense into him. "You haven't ruined anything, I want this. I want you."

"I know you want this, and I want more than anything to be able to stay but I can't, I can't continue to risk your life."

"We need you, what if I don't know what to do? What if-" She stopped, not daring to say what she was thinking, knowing it would only make him more upset. She wished she could take it all back and not say anything at all.

"What if it's like me?" He finished the question for her, he realised for the first time that maybe this child would be like him. "Then I have ruined your life, put your life in danger, and condemned a child to live a life like me. If it's like me I will have to care for it on my own, and you won't have to share my burden." He felt as though his heart was beating out of his chest.

"Remus, it doesn't matter to me if they're a werewolf. I love you and I'll love them. But I can't do this on my own." She was fighting back tears, knowing that once she started crying she wouldn't stop, she wouldn't be able to convince him to stay.

"You won't have too, I will raise the child. You can pretend we never existed."

"I can't do that," tears were filling her eyes. "If you leave, you are not taking my baby with you."

"Fine," Remus was speaking with a quiet intensity, his voice was low and steady. "But I can't stick around and watch you have your life ruined." She knew she couldn't make it okay, she couldn't make him stay and finally she started crying.

He was walking towards the door now and heard her shouting behind him, not able to focus on what she was saying he left as she sunk to the kitchen floor.

AN: I haven't written anything in nearly 10 years, so I'm a little rusty. But I've been thinking about Remus leaving and how that happened and what happened between him leaving and coming back for a long time and I thought I'd give it a go.

Thanks for reading!