I stood, slouched against the wall, in the back of the packed, dark club. I really didn't want to be here , but had no choice. When my friends had told me we were going out, I had no idea they meant to a strip club. I was abashed, and wanted nothing to do with it. But I had to stay. They took me in there car. I had know way to get back home. So I stood in the back, not looking up at the stage my friends had all surrounded. I looked down at the floor, past my baggy khaki pants, black long-sleeved shirt, covered by a dark green tee. It was torture.It was so hot, loud, and dark. I couldn't stand it. Then suddenly, I felt something
It started out really small, a tiny sensation within me. Then I felt it grow. It wasn't dark, really. It was slightly pinkish actually. But I felt a dark cover on it. At first I had no idea what it was. All I knew was that it was familiar, as if I knew it from somewhere. I searched my memories to see where I remembered it from. And then it came to me. I stood strait up as if someone had hit me in the back. I looked up to the stage, and there she was.
It was hard to recognize her at first, she had changed her appearance much since the last time I had seen her. Her hair was dyed a darker brown color, her facial expression was completely different from what it was once before. But her eyes. They had never changed. Like bright emeralds, dancing in a pitch black night. That's how, I knew it was her.
"Sakura.." I murmured under my breath. And as if she had heard me, which was literally impossible in the deafeningly loud club, she turned to me. Her eyes first had a look of confusion on them, as if she were trying to remember me. And then a look of shock, onto a gaze of pain. She remembered me. She suddenly turned around on the stage and walked off. I followed her with my eyes as she walked over to me. I looked at her for a while and then took her with me, up the stairs that were positioned about ten feet from where we stood, and onto the roof of the club.
"What are you doing here? There? On that stage Sakura?" I asked her, removing my green over shirt and handing to her to place over her skimpily covered body. "What could have possibly caused you to go onto that stage and give yourself, your body, to those people. I don't get it. You seem to have changed a lot since middle school."
That had been the last time I had seen her, middle school. Back in Japan. Those times had been so great for me. I loved it there. It pained me so much having to go back home to China. From China, I came over to America, to go to college. I figured this would be the last place I would ever see anyone from Tomoeda.
Then she said to me, breaking me from my memories, "Well, what would you do if your son were at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor, cause hes hungry? And the only way to feed him is to, sleep with a man for a little bit of money, and his daddy's gone. Somewhere smoking rock now. In and out of lock down. I don't got a job now. So for you, this is just a good time. But for me, this is what I call life."
She has said it so quietly, looking down at her little feet, that I almost hadn't heard her. And even though I had, I couldn't believe it. I was shocked that I had heard such things from her. She had once been my best friend. She was sweet, innocent, never the one to get into trouble. Now as I looked her, covered basically only by my tee shirt, I saw that her innocence was gone. She no longer had that childish charm to her. As she looked down towards her bare feet, a crystalline tear fell from her eye.
"So, why didn't you tell anyone, or ask them for help? I mean, Im sure-"
"Syaoran.." She silenced me with her pained voice. "After you left, things went downhill like a bike without brakes. My father acquired a disease and died after just about six months. Touya died soon after from grief. After they died, I was left with little money to live off of. And I couldn't get much help from Tomoyo, she had left and gone to England with her parents. So I took the money and came here to America. When I was here, I wanted to go to school and get a real job. But I didn't have enough money. However, I though things would start to look up when I met someone." She looked up at me, to see if I was understanding what she was saying, and I saw that the tears were flowing down her face as if she had just witness the downfall of a nation and was cry tears for all the people that had lived in it.
"When I met John, I thought maybe I would have a chance to have a better life. But I was wrong. All that he did was get me even more into debt, and get me pregnant. Then he left without a trace. I figure now, he's probably out doing or selling drugs or something stupid like that. So I was left with more debt than I could handle, and an approaching child. At the age of 19, I didn't know what to do. I stayed in the little apartment we had bought with the little money I had, trying to pay the bills every month. Most nights, I had to go to sleep with no food in my stomach. Things were awful. When the baby came, it didn't help my situation any. With me and a little baby boy, of which I named Zachary, the debt began to get bigger and bigger. And I had no one to turn to."
"So, that's how I came to this job. I despise it. I despise it more that anything I have ever despised in my entire existence. Its degrading, immoral, and it reduces me to a mans dirty little piece of entertainment." She told me with a strong distaste in her voice. But I figured that was the only thing strong about her at the moment. I looked at the girl standing in front of me. She looked like a worn and broken little doll. I felt such pain in my heart for her. She had gone back to looking down to the ground, as inaudible sobs shook her tiny frame.
I put my hands on her shoulders and pulled her towards me. She made no attempt to stop me, so I wrapped her in a tight embrace, and let her cry into her chest. I rested my chin on her head and rubbed her back in a weak attempt to calm her. As I held her there, I felt as though I was helping her in a small way, just letting her know that, now she had someone to turn to if she wanted help.
It started out really small, a tiny sensation within me. Then I felt it grow. It wasn't dark, really. It was slightly pinkish actually. But I felt a dark cover on it. At first I had no idea what it was. All I knew was that it was familiar, as if I knew it from somewhere. I searched my memories to see where I remembered it from. And then it came to me. I stood strait up as if someone had hit me in the back. I looked up to the stage, and there she was.
It was hard to recognize her at first, she had changed her appearance much since the last time I had seen her. Her hair was dyed a darker brown color, her facial expression was completely different from what it was once before. But her eyes. They had never changed. Like bright emeralds, dancing in a pitch black night. That's how, I knew it was her.
"Sakura.." I murmured under my breath. And as if she had heard me, which was literally impossible in the deafeningly loud club, she turned to me. Her eyes first had a look of confusion on them, as if she were trying to remember me. And then a look of shock, onto a gaze of pain. She remembered me. She suddenly turned around on the stage and walked off. I followed her with my eyes as she walked over to me. I looked at her for a while and then took her with me, up the stairs that were positioned about ten feet from where we stood, and onto the roof of the club.
"What are you doing here? There? On that stage Sakura?" I asked her, removing my green over shirt and handing to her to place over her skimpily covered body. "What could have possibly caused you to go onto that stage and give yourself, your body, to those people. I don't get it. You seem to have changed a lot since middle school."
That had been the last time I had seen her, middle school. Back in Japan. Those times had been so great for me. I loved it there. It pained me so much having to go back home to China. From China, I came over to America, to go to college. I figured this would be the last place I would ever see anyone from Tomoeda.
Then she said to me, breaking me from my memories, "Well, what would you do if your son were at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor, cause hes hungry? And the only way to feed him is to, sleep with a man for a little bit of money, and his daddy's gone. Somewhere smoking rock now. In and out of lock down. I don't got a job now. So for you, this is just a good time. But for me, this is what I call life."
She has said it so quietly, looking down at her little feet, that I almost hadn't heard her. And even though I had, I couldn't believe it. I was shocked that I had heard such things from her. She had once been my best friend. She was sweet, innocent, never the one to get into trouble. Now as I looked her, covered basically only by my tee shirt, I saw that her innocence was gone. She no longer had that childish charm to her. As she looked down towards her bare feet, a crystalline tear fell from her eye.
"So, why didn't you tell anyone, or ask them for help? I mean, Im sure-"
"Syaoran.." She silenced me with her pained voice. "After you left, things went downhill like a bike without brakes. My father acquired a disease and died after just about six months. Touya died soon after from grief. After they died, I was left with little money to live off of. And I couldn't get much help from Tomoyo, she had left and gone to England with her parents. So I took the money and came here to America. When I was here, I wanted to go to school and get a real job. But I didn't have enough money. However, I though things would start to look up when I met someone." She looked up at me, to see if I was understanding what she was saying, and I saw that the tears were flowing down her face as if she had just witness the downfall of a nation and was cry tears for all the people that had lived in it.
"When I met John, I thought maybe I would have a chance to have a better life. But I was wrong. All that he did was get me even more into debt, and get me pregnant. Then he left without a trace. I figure now, he's probably out doing or selling drugs or something stupid like that. So I was left with more debt than I could handle, and an approaching child. At the age of 19, I didn't know what to do. I stayed in the little apartment we had bought with the little money I had, trying to pay the bills every month. Most nights, I had to go to sleep with no food in my stomach. Things were awful. When the baby came, it didn't help my situation any. With me and a little baby boy, of which I named Zachary, the debt began to get bigger and bigger. And I had no one to turn to."
"So, that's how I came to this job. I despise it. I despise it more that anything I have ever despised in my entire existence. Its degrading, immoral, and it reduces me to a mans dirty little piece of entertainment." She told me with a strong distaste in her voice. But I figured that was the only thing strong about her at the moment. I looked at the girl standing in front of me. She looked like a worn and broken little doll. I felt such pain in my heart for her. She had gone back to looking down to the ground, as inaudible sobs shook her tiny frame.
I put my hands on her shoulders and pulled her towards me. She made no attempt to stop me, so I wrapped her in a tight embrace, and let her cry into her chest. I rested my chin on her head and rubbed her back in a weak attempt to calm her. As I held her there, I felt as though I was helping her in a small way, just letting her know that, now she had someone to turn to if she wanted help.