Am I Still The One ?
Twlight Always
C.D.J.B
I don't get much from heroes I don't give them much thought
I crumble under pressure, made of steel I'm not
I admit, I thought of Draco Malfoy a slimy, snarky boy who hated anything he didn't know, who hated what he was told to hate. I thought he didn't have an opinion, or even just one lonely thought of his own. But on the outside, even though he's snarky, and doesn't really have his own points of view, I thought he was maybe just a little bit fearless. But when I got to know Draco, he made it clear to me, he wasn't made of steel, he wasn't fearless.
He was alone.
He was just a boy who know one cared to listen to. Then I came along, a mistaken truce grew between us. A secret. We thought it would work out better, yet at the same time, we knew it never would. We were too different. We never even had a fighting chance.
I don't like my reflection I don't like what I see
I'm scared of my own shadow, it casts its doubt on me
I could see it in his eyes, reflecting off mine. He doesn't like what he sees, but he'll never try to change it.
Why? Fear. The reason we're all held back from what we really want, or what we really need, or desire. He's scared of who he is, he hates who he is, and what his father and the dark lord want and expect him to be. He's not always like that. Snarky, sly, slimy, and the true definition of slytherin. I knew two sides to Draco, that side. And then the side he was when he was with me. The more soft side, yes he could still be snarky, snarky was in his blood flowing through his veins, but it was true, he was softer with me…sweeter. He spoke to me with his defenses down, his guard hit the ground when it was me and him. Alone, just the two of us, in our own little world where it was just us, no one knew about him and I. no one knew our little secret, it was ours for the keeping not for others to find.
But am I still the one
I guess it had all started when Ron got together with that Lavender girl. I was distressed and broken hearted. I was so hurt, I had felt so strong for Ron for years before, and when Draco came along, I feel even harder. He just saw a side no one else wanted to see, and I saw a part of him that he never wanted anyone else to see. He was struggling with his family, with the pressure on him to join the dark lord…but he hid that from me. he never told me his plan, that he had to attack Dumbledore, or that all we were might as well have been a lie. But I saw the fear written in his eyes. I should have known.
The night Draco Malfoy told me he loved me, was the night he tried to kill Dumbledore, the night he walked out of my life.
I was standing in your shadow just to understand your pain
But when I needed you the most you looked the other way
I hadn't seen him in so long, months. The summer ended, the school year started. But for the first time and years, I didn't go back to Hogwarts Academy. I was with harry, Ron. I was helping; I was trying to make a difference. Ron and me…he was over with Lavender. I and he had picked up slowly, his hand grazed my hand and I felt a spark. A friend of years and years, maybe turning into all I wanted. All I could trust. But Draco, Draco was still in my head, flowing through me like a tidal wave.
Me, Ron and Harry were taken. Stolen away by his followers, by the dark lords followers. They took us, while my heart beat so fast it felt like it was going to burst from my chest, like my chest was getting smaller and smaller by the second, and my heart swelling. I was scared.
And that's when I saw it, where they had taken us. It was the Malfoy Manor, Draco's house. Where his father had beaten all of his thoughts into my sweet Draco's heat. Where Draco slept, ate, where he dreaded to go back to for the summer and winter holidays. This wasn't a home, it was a prison, and we were about to be held prisoner.
I was pushed roughly into the cold, empty home. Fenrir Greyback stank of something awful, as I struggled to move and get away. But there was no way to get away, from him, from anyone here, from this house.
Then I saw him. The first time in so long, the tidal wave through my veins crashed in a huge wave. Seeing him, even in this place, with these people around…was beautiful. I wanted to run to him, I wanted him to comfort me and hold me and tell me he wouldn't let any of them hurt me, that he'd protect me.
I wanted to hear 'I love you' from his lips just one more time. I needed to hear it. I needed him, and he was all I could see.
I wanted you to comfort me the moment we begun
I loved you through your nothingness am I still the one
For a moment, I thought he would look right through me. Pretend like he never knew me as anything more than the book worm Hermione Granger.He was asked if Harry was 'Harry Potter' his parent's yelled the questions at him, firing them one by one. 'I can't be sure' and 'I don't know' was his answers.
Then they turned on me. 'Look Draco, isn't that the granger girl?' his mother asked him fiercely.
He looked into my eyes. I missed those ice blue eyes that went straight to my heart. I missed the way his cold ones met mine. I starred right back. Fearless, I loved him. 'I…" Draco stuttered on the first word. I knew him well enough to know what he was thinking about…our first kiss, the time he held my hand for the first time when we snuck out late to lay under the stars by the lake. 'maybe…' my hands on his shoulders, all our secret meetings…The first time he said he loved me, and I whispered it back…the last time he walked away from me…'yeah.'
He looked away before he confirmed my identity; I guess it was hard for him to look into the only eyes that ever saw him for what he really was.
're coming through the windows; you're crawling through the floor
you sent the spies to find me, now they're kicking down my door
You
His aunt tortured me for information them. I screamed, but I tried to be strong I really did. I screamed so loud it hurt. I looked into his eyes, searching for something, for the Draco who used to hold me, who told me he loved me. But he wouldn't look me in the eye back. He turned his head, I looked at his fists. They were held tight turning white as snow, even whiter than his usual pale skin.
But am I still the one
Maybe he never loved me; maybe he only thought he did. Maybe he wasn't strong enough to save me; maybe he didn't want to save me. Maybe I wasn't even enough to save. Maybe I was nothing.
I was standing in your shadow just to understand your pain
But when I needed you the most you looked the other way
There's nothing left but emptiness it's all been said and done
I know you want me to believe that I'm still the one
Hope you liked it :)
Song ; Am I still the one by Daniel Powter
I was worried about doing the part with what draco says because obviously it's a tight fit into what really happened in that moment, but hey alot was going on and it's a fanfiction and i wanted this to happen in my story so it did.
Hope you enjoyed, REVIEW PLEASE and thankyou.
Twilight Always
C.D.J.B