Disclaimer: don't own anything…sadly =[ Oneshot
Summary: Reid reflects on his love for his best friend...
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"We as people have a need, a want, and a necessity for others. An Affiliation to share with someone we see equal to ourselves."
His mind flashed back images at 100 miles per hour.
"Someone who we have frequent exposure with." He said smiling crookedly. She returned it brushing his hair from his face.
"So basically Spencer, you're trying to tell me…"
He Interrupted. "Some people we find familiar; thus increasing our liking for them. Seeking somebody to form a relationship with, an attachment, a reciprocal exchange of emotional connexions and a tie between you and another person."
"Spencey…"
"Seeking a relationship with someone who is roughly about the same level of attractiveness as you. Compromising by choosing the best person you believe is available to you, who are likely to accept you on the same basis, avoiding rejection from somebody who is believed to be too good or more attractive."
"Loving somebody is qualitatively different than liking somebody. It introduces and involves an attachment, a caring attitude and intimacy between two people. It can be broken just as quickly as it could be formed. It is a commitment, a passion, an intimacy or emptiness." She interrupted and finished him and smirked. "I took the same classes as you did nerd"
She ran off sticking her tongue out playfully. He ran after her across the sun bleached beach, dotting between the holiday makers and their children's playful shadows. Their laughs filled with distant echoes of their childhood laughter.
Reid wiped the sweat from his brow with his corduroy sleeve, and smiled awkwardly towards the 300 hundred students who gazed back at him.
"Thank you, if anyone has any questions, please stay behind…about anything, the work I do, about the lecture. Feel free…" His words faded into a mass hum of youth discussing what they'd just heard from someone barely older than themselves. Reid placed his papers back in his satchel and headed towards the door, sighing. He retreated to his car, his head hung; his hair excluding the world. Rain began to spit down on the wind shield. He switched the radio on, leaving it low, so it was just a buzz that occasionally changed in pitch. He left the ignition off, and placed his hands on the steering wheel at 10 o clock and two o clock, and pushed his head into the air bag case, his fisted clenching its plastic so hard his knuckles turned white.
They continued running, passed the volley ball fanatics, passed the students and their summer loves, passed the young couples on picnic blankets. He pounced on her, sending them both tumbling to the floor, rolling in the sand to break their fall. Laughs rang like heavenly chimes and shook her body beneath his. He smiled. She had this effect on him, no matter how bad a day had been, no matter how tired he was, no matter how horrid a case had been she still managed to make a smile spread across his face.
"I know i shouldn't because in all the tv shows ive seen, its never ended well, or its a fairytale, but if its cliche, i dont care, and do you know why? becaue you're my beat friend, you make me smile, you make me feel, you complete me." he whispered smiling."I love you Alice"
She smiled back up into his youthful face, and looked deep into his pure eyes. "I love you Spence"
Reid started the car and drove towards home, the rain started pounded on the windshield, almost like he'd woken in a storm. He started the care and carefully made his way though the rain and to the beach near his apartment. He stepped out of the warmth of the car and into the icy rain and down to the pier they had walked along so many times.
Reid was swept away in a tidal wave of memories. The first time he'd seen her, in the living room of his home, surrounded by the warm comforting fire after he's found her locked out of her house barely even ten years old, just stood, shivering in the rain. He smirked. The way she'd grasped his hand and he'd looked her in the eyes, and something inside of them had clicked. Where once there had been nothing but empty space, a spark had been lit. A friendship had begun. How they were constantly running, running from getting caught, running from each other, just running. How they'd laughed! Her laughter, an honest cry of joy, coming from deep within her body and radiating outwards. Her smile. The uncountable times had he turned round and seen her sitting there, smiling at him. He'd loved it when she'd done that. It was a beam of light, hope in all the darkness, a factor she really did care. A pain filled smile tugged at his lips as he leaned back to stare up at the sky. How she was so caring. He wanted to see her so much. He was there, but he wasn't. He had hurt her by not telling her the truth. Only telling her what he saw fit and now he truly regretted it. He closed his eyes tight against the threatening tears and hung his head. He paced back and forth, across the pier, hands, deep in his trench coat pockets, kicking small pebbles off the edge, plunging deep into the dark waters below. His shoulders hunched trying to prevent the easing rain slide down his back. He turned, staring broodingly out at the horizon he walked down the dock. Finally, after what seemed like hours of walking, but had really been an imposing total of ten minutes, he paused, hovering over one particular stretch of beach, and there in front of him stood the one person who could make it all better. The sun broke through the clouds and shone down on her, illuminating her golden hair. He looked out to sea when there was a vague sensation of someone holding his hand, intertwining their fingers with his. As the fingers squeezed reassuringly, the darkness in his mind began to clear. Snapping back to reality, he turned his head. They looked at each other in silence; Reid stared at the figure that stood before him, his brown wispy hair stuck to his slim tired face. They stood very still, their two hands combined as one between them. After what seemed like hours, a nervous half-smile emerged on his face. He raised his free hand and placed it tentatively on her cheek.
"You're not real…" He choked.
"I'm as real as your mind wants me to be Spence" Alice said.
"But I saw them…they…buried you…" he sobbed. "You died…I should have stopped it."
"Spence" she sighed. "You shouldn't blame yourself…this wasn't your fault."
She was his nothing could ever change it. The effect she had on him was remarkable; his guilt seemed to run away. Run away with the dark cloud that had hung over him for so long, and had left him open minded, looking into the deep blue reassuring eyes which reflected his tired apologetic face. The warmth of their hands together made the remaining pain fade away. She finally had what she wanted and she could call him hers. They walked down to damp, drying beach. They sat together not saying a word. Staring up at the sky, hands stretched out and lightly touching. Simply feeling the other was there. After a while they lay on the sand, the wind was drawing in, Reid didn't care Alice was just part of his subconscious, getting him to admit his denial and accept her death. He looked up to the sky, his body shook viciously, he was so cold, his head span, and his stomach churned. His eyes began to close. He fought to keep them open, to keep her face in his site. Tears streamed down their faces.
"REID!" Hotch's Voice echoed down the beach. "He's here! Get me the EMTS!"
"I love you Alice…you're the best thing that has ever happened to me."
"I love you too Spence, let go of me…let go…and live" Her lips pressed against his, passionately but regretful, and she was gone.
"Reid" Hotch collapsed at Reid's side and pulled him into his lap covering him with his jacket. "Speak to me"
"She forgave me…It wasn't my fault Hotch…" He looked at Hotch. "It wasn't my fault"
"Reid…we need to get you to the hospital…"
"She's been gone a year today Hotch and she forgives me…" A satisfied smile spread across Reid's weak face. A single tear ran down his cheek and he went limp in Hotch's arms.
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Thanks for reading, i was sat in psychology and was reading the book and it inspired me to write this
please r&r if you like! or dont like either way and feedbacks good =]
many thanks!
hannie =] x x x