Laura's heartbeat quickened at Mrs. Oleson's words.
"I promised Zaldamo cinnamon chicken!"
The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and,
I had it all; I had him right there where I wanted him.
Mrs. Oleson had invited Almanzo to have a quiet dinner for two with Nellie. Laura's Almanzo was invited to a quiet dinner for two with Nellie Oleson.
She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause:
She took him faster than you can say "sabotage".
"Well, I'm afraid you'll just have to make it yourself," Caroline told Mrs. Oleson diplomatically.
"But I don't know how!" The older woman whined, throwing her hands up in the air to demonstrate her point.
The wheels in Laura's head had been turning for the past few minutes, and she finally stepped in. "I could do it, Ma."
"Laura, we don't work on the Lord's day."
"Well, it would be like doing the Lord's work! Helping out a friend."
Caroline smiled. "We don't get paid for doing the Lord's work, Laura."
"I wouldn't want to be paid," Laura answered slyly, but her mother missed the deceptive tone.
"You wouldn't?" Mrs. Oleson asked incredulously.
Laura shook her head.
"Oh, what a dear child!" Mrs. Oleson cried. "What a wonderful little girl! Please, Caroline, let her!"
Caroline turned away from the dishes she was washing and looked at the two of them standing there with pleading looks on their faces. "Well, Laura, if you really want to."
"I do, Ma. I really do." She smiled at Caroline, and her grin only became wider when she realized how truly relieved and grateful Mrs. Oleson was.
I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it.
I underestimated just who I was dealing with.
She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum;
She underestimated just who she was stealing from.
It was Sunday, the day of Nellie's date with Almanzo. The day that should've found Laura crying in the loft. But she had other plans—she wasn't going to give him up without a fight. And that was something Nellie should have realized.
She's not a saint and she's not what you think.
She's an actress! Whoa,
She's better known for the things that she does
On the mattress, Whoa,
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys on the playground
Won't make you any friends.
She should keep in mind,
She should keep in mind,
There is nothing I do better than revenge.
"Be back soon!" Laura called, the small silver container in her hand as she ran out the door. She was practically shaking with anticipation. And just before she turned onto the road by the barn fence, she stopped to tear off the wrapper on the container. It wouldn't be in her best interests for anyone to discover her plan: to replace Almanzo's favorite ingredient, cinnamon, with cayenne pepper.
She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list;
She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it.
I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling,
And she thinks I'm psycho
'Cause I like to rhyme her name with things.
It was like having Christmas early, listening to Almanzo and Nellie retch over the kitchen sink. And Laura was almost bursting with joy when she saw Almanzo run out of Nellie's restaurant, still choking on the hot pepper, and loudly correct Mrs. Oleson for mispronouncing his name yet again.
But sophistication isn't what you wear, or who you know,
Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go.
Several weeks later…
Laura's breath caught in her throat when Almanzo's eyes fell on her small form, attempting and failing to hide next to the shed where he worked. "Hi, Beth! How long have you been standin' there?"
"I just got here," Laura said quickly, her heart racing.
"Can I interest you in a sack o' grain?"
It was now or never.
"Can I interest you in going to the circus? With me?" she asked hopefully, extending the tickets she held.
"I'd like to, Beth, but I can't do it," he answered, a half-smile quirking his mouth.
Laura's smile disappeared, and she looked at the ground, trying not to convey too much disappointment. "Oh."
"I already have two tickets. One for me, and one for a lady I asked."
"Oh. Well, it doesn't matter," Laura said finally. "I just happened to have this extra ticket."
Almanzo smiled. "Sure nice o' ya to offer it to me."
On the verge of tears, Laura pressed on. "I was just thinking, who do I know who's new in town, and might not know a lot of other people, and might not wanna go to the circus by himself?" She was still staring at the ground. "I thought of my good friend, Manly."
At that moment, Laura nearly choked on her own saliva at the sound of a female voice calling out, "Almanzo!"
Almanzo turned around to see Christy Norton making her way up the steps to meet him. "Hi!"
Laura's stomach twisted as Christy extended her hand for Almanzo to take.
"Christy Norton, this is Laura Ingalls," Almanzo told her, but what he didn't see was the look of pure disdain on Christy's face upon seeing Laura.
"We know each other," Laura said quietly, but Christy cut in.
"I'm very worried about my dress."
"Don't be. I said I'd have it ready by 5:00 tomorrow afternoon, and at 5:00 it'll be at your folks' house."
Christy continued to frown. "You should've dropped by and reassured me!" She turned to look at Almanzo, a dreamy look crossing her face. "When will you pick me up?"
"The circus begins at about 7:30, so how 'bout at a quarter to seven?"
"Good."
As Laura walked away from the scene, she slowed down upon hearing Christy's last, heart-wrenching words:
"I hope that child finishes my dress on time. I do so want to look lovely for you!" She leaned towards Almanzo, who smiled and continued holding her hand—and Laura didn't think she could bear to watch the two of them any longer.
Oh, they didn't teach you that in prep school,
So it's up to me,
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity.
"Finished?"
"At last," Laura answered, pressing the dress against her stomach so her mother could get the full effect.
"Oh, Laura, it's beautiful."
"Will you be home in time to clean up for the circus?" Laura asked, changing the subject.
"You bet I will!" Caroline's eyes moved back to the dress. "Oh, Laura, it's not finished, the skirt's just basted!"
"Well, I meant almost finished."
"Will you be able to deliver it in time?"
"Oh, sure!" Laura reassured her mother, and Caroline called goodbye as she left to go into town.
Laura had no intentions of completing the dress. In fact, she was going to deliver it just the way it was. At first glance, it appeared to be finished—but a trained eye would spot the mistake.
When Laura arrived at Christy's house, she was greeted by Christy's trademark scowl.
"Here's your dress!" Laura said happily, handing the cloth over.
Christy held the dress up to her chest. "You were supposed to be here by 5:00."
"I know."
"It's five after!" Christy informed her.
"Well, I didn't think that five minutes would ruin your evening."
"Don't you be flip with me, little girl! You said you'd have the dress here by 5:00, and you didn't! So I'm only going to pay you half."
"Half!" Laura cried indignantly."
"That's correct." Christy strode over to the money box on the mantle. "Maybe that will teach you a lesson!" She extended the money to Laura. "Here! Take it! It's all you're getting."
"I couldn't accept that," Laura admitted finally. "I was late, and I was wrong. No charge."
"No charge?"
"That's right. It'd be on my conscience."
"Well," Christy said finally. "I'm glad to see you've learned a lesson."
"My Pa says it's good for folks to learn a lesson once in a while. I'd better be going." She turned to leave, but she grinned at Christy and said, "Have a wonderful time."
And she walked down the front porch, still grinning uncontrollably.
She's not a saint and she's not what you think,
She's an actress! Whoa,
She's better known for the things that she does
On the mattress, Whoa,
It was all in the plan. Laura, dressed as a clown, ran after Albert, also dressed in clown makeup and attire, with a bucket full of water. Albert ran behind Christy Norton and Almanzo, sticking his tongue out at Laura. When Laura tried to follow, Albert took off down the bench and stood in front of Christy, trading places with Laura. And for the finale, Laura flung the bucket upward, dousing Almanzo's snobby date with its contents.
Christy shrieked and jumped to her feet, and as she did so, the skirt of her dress dropped to the ground, exposing her undergarments. The crowd laughed as Christy screeched indignantly, gathering her torn dress and storming out of the circus tent. Much to Laura's delight, Almanzo wasn't at all fazed by this. On the contrary, he continued clapping at the clowns' antics and didn't even bother to see if his date was alright.
Laura took her chance—and she ran up to Almanzo while she was completely disguised by the clown makeup and wig, and kissed him.
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys on the playground
Won't make you many friends.
She should keep in mind,
She should keep in mind,
There is nothing I do better than revenge.
Several years later…
Laura and Almanzo had a good marriage, for the most part. But lately, everything seemed to be falling apart. Almanzo was constantly finding new things to complain about around the house, and although Laura was doing her best, it didn't seem to be enough for her husband.
But, like Pa had said, it was foolish of her to remain upset with him. They had to work it out—and better sooner than later. She smiled to herself as she made her way down the town's main street to where Almanzo worked.
Now, Laura hadn't felt jealous since she was fifteen years old, when Almanzo had seen her as nothing more than a little girl and had thus taken various other girls on dates. Although it did comfort her to some degree that he never went on a second date with a girl, she was still jealous. But that "little green monster" reared its ugly head for the first time in several years as Laura caught sight of Almanzo walking down the steps of the Feed 'n' Seed with none other than Laura's friend, Brenda Sue. And she laughed. Brenda Sue laughed. Almanzo put his hand at her back to guide her down the stairs of the shed. And Laura pressed her lips into a white line and strode over to confront her husband.
"I don't want to interrupt," she said pointedly, but Almanzo missed the annoyed tone in her voice.
"Hello, Laura," Brenda Sue greeted.
"Well now, Brenda Sue has some wonderful news!" Almanzo told his wife.
"Really?" Laura asked, enunciating each syllable.
"Yeah! She just got her first song—"
"I'm so glad! I don't want to keep you from working like a mule all day!" And Laura swept past the two of them, not even listening when Almanzo called after her.
I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey.
You might have him, but haven't you heard?
I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey.
You might have him, but I always get the last word!
Maybe she'd been wrong. If Almanzo said she shouldn't be jealous of Brenda Sue, shouldn't she trust him? She'd spent the night at her parents' house the previous night, because she and Almanzo still weren't on good terms. But standing at the kitchen table at the Ingalls' house, eating a biscuit, Laura felt so much better than she had all week. She planned to go cook breakfast for Almanzo early, before he left for work.
Upon arriving at the house, she ran inside, fully expecting her husband to be still asleep, but there was no answer when she called him from the bottom of the stairs. She checked the kitchen and the dining room, but her only company was a slip of paper lying on the desk in the living room.
My Only Love: Brenda Sue Longworth.
Laura felt as though she'd been hit in the head with a brick. There it was, plain as day. The proof that Almanzo was having an affair with Brenda Sue.
Fighting back tears, Laura ran out of the house, tucking the filthy evidence into her skirt as she ran. Her first impulse was to run back to her family—her parents, sisters, and brother. But no, she was a grown woman with grown woman responsibilities. She had a school full of children who were counting on her to be strong. She needed to be strong for them and herself.
At school that morning, she lost her temper with the children for the second time that week. Albert stared at her the entire time, almost as if he was willing her to stay calm.
But the straw that broke the camel's back came as Laura was walking down the main road towards her house—and she saw Brenda Sue making her way up the steps of Nellie's restaurant.
Rage boiled within Laura, and she was breathing heavily as she approached the woman.
"Brenda Sue!"
"Hello, Laura."
Laura's eyes narrowed. "How are you today?"
"Fine. I just ran into you father, in fact."
"How nice. Have you run into Almanzo today, too?"
"No," Brenda Sue answered, a smile playing on her lips at what Laura was insinuating.
"You mean you actually let a day go by without seeing him?"
Brenda Sue sighed. "Laura, what is this?"
"Just how much have you been seeing of Almanzo?"
"Yesterday was the first time I'd seen him in—"
"Days? Hours?"
"That's ridiculous!"
"Is it?" Laura snapped.
"Yes! I had some news I wanted to tell him."
"Oh, I'm sure My Only Love had a great deal of news to tell him!"
"Oh, then he told you?"
Laura was shaking. "No, you witch! I found out!" And she shoved Brenda Sue down into the dirt. But she was far from finished, as she threw herself to the ground and began attacking the woman with all that she had. In fact, she didn't even stop her attack when the schoolchildren ran over to where the women were rolling around in the dirt and began cheering them on.
The fight continued even when Caroline descended the stairs of the restaurant and pulled her daughter away from Brenda Sue.
"I should've scratched her eyes out! I should've kicked her in the face!" Laura screamed, but Caroline grabbed her by the arm.
"You will be silent!"
Laura, who could count on one hand the number of times she'd seen her mother lose her temper, shut her mouth. And when they were both alone in the restaurant's kitchen, Laura broke down.
"Alright now, what was that all about?" Caroline asked, her eyes softening.
The younger woman blurted out, "Almanzo's having a love affair with her!"
"Laura, what are you saying?"
"See for yourself. It's Almanzo's handwriting!" she sobbed, and she produced the evidence.
Caroline read the note aloud, then looked at her daughter.
"And the worst part is, she admitted that's what he calls her! She admitted it to me like it was the most normal thing in the whole world!"
Laura's indignant outbursts, both with Brenda Sue and with Caroline, did nothing to ease her pain. Her mother believed her, but this fact didn't take away the sick feeling in her stomach. She felt sorry for herself—and the one thing that snapped her out of her trance was when Caroline showed the note to Charles shortly after their conversation in the restaurant kitchen. He, unlike Caroline, was hesitant to believe Almanzo was guilty.
"Well, I can certainly see whose side you're on!" Laura accused, glaring at her father.
"I'm on the side of making sure this isn't a misunderstanding before I do Almanzo Wilder great bodily harm!" He sighed.
"But Brenda Sue admitted it to me!"
"She could've done that out of spite."
"Charles, I can't believe you could be so blind!" Caroline stated, slightly taken aback at her husband's siding with Almanzo. "Laura, stay here. Your father and I are going to pick up your things and bring them back here." She looked pointedly at Charles, who wasn't to be silenced.
"We are not going to do that. We're going to go over there and get this straightened out once and for all. Now come on, get in the wagon."
"Come on, dear," Caroline coaxed Laura, when it was evident that Charles had made up his mind.
"No. I don't want to see him!"
"I think your father's right."
"Look at me!" Laura cried, gesturing to her disheveled hair, muddy dress, and ink-smeared face. "I'm a mess!"
"Laura!"
By this time, Charles was in the driver's seat of the buckboard. "Half-pint, get in the wagon," he ordered, a tone of finality in his voice.
She's not a saint and she's not what you think.
She's an actress! Whoa,
She's better known for the things that she does
On the mattress, Whoa,
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys on the playground
Won't make you many friends.
She should keep in mind,
She should keep in mind,
There is nothing I do better than revenge.
"He sure is pining away for me," Laura commented as they approached the house. Almanzo was singing to himself in the living room, and all three of them could hear it through the open window. "I want to go home."
Charles turned around to look at her. "Until this thing's settled, you are home. Now go on."
Laura had no choice but to go inside that house and confront Almanzo yet again—and she wondered if he'd even try to make up an excuse. Maybe he would just admit that he was having an affair. Maybe he would save her the trouble of having to squeeze him for information.
And do you still feel like you know what you're doing?
'Cause I don't think you do.
Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?
I don't think you do, I don't think you do!
Let's hear the applause,
C'mon, show me how much better you are!
See, you deserve some applause,
'Cause you're so much better!
She took him faster than you can say sabotage!
To her astonishment and annoyance, her husband continued playing the guitar and singing when she entered the house, followed by her parents. Almanzo finished the chorus of the song, then looked up at the three of them and jumped to his feet when he saw Laura's disheveled appearance.
"Laura!" He looked slightly sheepish at the expression of rage on Laura's face. "I had reason to believe that you were over being mad at me. I guess not."
"Of all the low things I've ever heard of!" Laura shouted.
"What are you talking about? What have I done now?"
Charles stepped forward and presented the slip of paper to Almanzo. "Laura found this on the desk. She came back early to fix you breakfast."
"So what? I have a habit of writin' things down that I want to remember," Almanzo answered simply, as if this fact was perfectly obvious.
"Things you want to remember? You mean you'd forget that you love somebody?" Laura snarled. "Did you write down, 'I don't love Laura anymore' too?"
"What is all this? It's just the title of Brenda Sue's song!"
"Oh really? Well maybe you should—"
She shut her mouth as his words sunk in. The title of a song? "What?" was all she could say.
"It's the title of the song Brenda Sue got published. See?" He held up the sheet music. "I was singin' it when you came in."
The corners of Charles' mouth were twitching, and he quietly stepped towards the door. "I take it your mother and I can safely assume that you'll be spending the evening here?"
Caroline looked dumbfounded, but Laura nodded slowly, and her parents quietly left through the front door.
"How could I have been so stupid?"
Almanzo smiled. "I can see how it must've looked."
"But even so, I should've had more trust in you." Her hair was a mess and she had dried ink and dirt on her face, but to Almanzo, she still looked beautiful. "Can you ever forgive me?"
"No forgiving's involved," he answered promptly, his voice barely above a whisper. "It was just a simple misunderstanding. That's all it was."
"It was all my fault."
Almanzo shook his head. "No, it wasn't. I did a little thinking, and…I was pretty rough on you. You had a right to be mad at me."
"You had every right to be mad at me," Laura responded.
"I'm not mad now."
"Me neither." She smiled.
In less time than it takes to tell, they closed the distance between themselves and embraced. Laura squeezed her eyes closed, ashamed that she'd doubted her husband, but relieved that they were no longer fighting.
"You're my only love," Almanzo whispered in her ear, and she grinned.
"And you're mine."
She leaned back and looked him in the eye. "Would you promise me something?"
"Anything," he told her happily.
"Promise me you'll never sing that song again."
He laughed and said, "I promise." Then he pulled her close, embracing her once again.