Disclaimer: if i owned Smallville i'd change a lot of things: the Lana Lex Clark love triangle for start. What i wouldn't do, however, is change all the character into things that sound like their names. Thus i don't own smallville.

Lois Lane the Aeroplane…

Lois lane had never imagined herself the heroine of any story: she was too tough to play that role. She'd never thought she'd yell for help and wait to be rescued by a man, but it had happened and she'd dealt with it. She wasn't sure when she'd made the transition from the tough as nails teenager that could out drink football players to the, er, tough as nails twenty something who could out drink football players but occasionally had to be rescued by a superhero in a cape. She supposed it had occurred sometime between living in Smallville and graduating from college, but where exactly was a blur. Things had been much simpler then, (not that she'd known it at the time) when all she had to worry about was whether 'Smallville' was ever going to stop breaking her cousins heart and get over Lana Lang, back before he wore glasses. Her mind was drifting as she hung, legs flailing and screaming at the top of her voice, over what looked a lot like a pit of boiling lava, to the 'old days' when journalism was Chloe's dream and not hers, and when those big puppy dog eyes of Clarks were directed at Lana Lang and not her. Of course that was before Lana had disappeared, and then Chloe but not before she'd changed her name to Lana and been kidnapped by a hundred meteor freaks. On second thoughts, those days could hardly be described as simple. 'Meteor freaks,' pondered the kerth winning reporter, between screams of 'HELP SUPERMAN, HELP', 'they seemed to have similar powers to Superman: not as strong of course, and they were usually psychos, but it close enough to warrant an investigation. Could Superman have come from the same place as the meteor rocks? Was he really being honest about where he'd come from? Was he actually an Alien?'

She dismissed these thought immediately: Superman wouldn't lie to her. But still, there was no harm in investigating a connection, surely.

"HELP SUPRMAN!"

'He sure was taking his time getting here today, he better not be off rescuing some other girl' thought Lois, 'ugh this would be so much easier if I could fly: then I could escape myself, I really wish I could fly.'

Suddenly there was a flash of green light and Lois Lane became a small but stylish two-man plane. 'Hmm,' thought the plane, as it broke free of its restraints, 'that was strange.' Hovering downward to get a closer look at the lava she noticed a slight green glow coming from it. 'There must be meteor rocks in this! Maybe that's why Superman didn't come: this must mean there's some connection between him and meteor rocks!'

Flying off happily, doing a little loop de loop as it did, the plane was now sure there was a story in this: whether it could be published or not. Half way back across the city, in the direction of her apartment the plane realised something: 'Oh no! I'm still a plane: superman will never love me if I'm a plane. I wish I wasn't a plane anymore.'

With that, and another green flash, the plane became a reporter again; unfortunately she was still a few hundred feet in the air. Realising this, she did the only thing that made sense: she screamed "Help Superman help!"

Luckily, this time he responded and saved her just in the nick of time, as he almost always did.

Landing her back in her apartment he found he had to ask: "how on earth did you end up there: did you jump out of a plane Lois?"

"No," she replied, " I think I was an aeroplane for a little while there."

"Sure you were Lois, sure you were," and with that he flew off, put on a pair of glasses and walked back, ready to hear the whole story.