Each time I think back, I wonder if you're thinking about me too.

I'm thinking about you as I walk along the bustling streets of the village, ignoring the presence of everybody and not bothering to make any eye contact.

I should've left this place a long time ago, but for some reason I feel bound to remain. Maybe it's because your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone. Even though it's been years since you left me and I've felt so utterly alone that it was a long time before I could even hold a conversation with somebody.

I turn the corner and enter the small grocery store that was one of the only places you never set foot in all of Konoha. I found out a long time ago that being in places holding too much of your memory was not good for my sanity. Sure, before I had returned to the village people had already thought I'd lost hold of the few ounces of sanity remaining in me, but that wasn't true. I had been lost; so utterly so that it had taken all of your love and friendship to bring me back here.

It had taken even more for you to convince me that I actually belonged. The majority of the reason I had even come back to Konoha was because I loved you and I wanted you to be happy. I would've followed you anywhere, but my pride had prevented me from ever admitting such a deep emotional attachment to you.

During that period in my life all I had been able to see was the darkness, but after certain events I had come to realize that you were the resonating light that was going to lead me out of the tunnel. Your unwavering determination captivated me, and your voice chased away what I had deemed as sanity during that time.

But now that you left me behind, I'm stuck with the life you left me here.

I am taking my time picking out the vegetables I need for the week, making sure that they're ripe and unblemished.

"Ah, hi Sasuke-kun, what a coincidence that we meet here," a female voice greets from my right.

I raise my head to find Sakura standing there, a basket filled with an assortment of foods hanging on the crook of her elbow. She seems genuinely happy to see me, an unsure, but warm smile settling in her features.

Not even the old me would've smiled back at her, or anyone else for that matter, but I haven't made such a gesture since the last time I saw you. I am too broken, even though at times I find myself actually wishing that the pain of losing you would just fade away completely and allow me to live again. But there's just too much that time cannot erase, and the pain is still so real that every night it comes back to hit me full-force, the effects on both my mind and body crippling.

I nod my head at her and mumble a,"Hn."

She doesn't get offended or even start asking me any irksome questions; she just smiles at me again, her gaze turning reassuring. Sakura knows more than most how much your departure impacted me. And she knows to never expect much more than what I've just given her in terms of pleasant small talk.

"It's really nice to see you going out and about. I'm glad you're letting yourself get some sunlight. I just grabbed the last thing on my grocery list and my parents are expecting me, so I should really get going," Sakura says, slightly bowing her head at me and pointing at the store's exit as she speaks.

"Okay. Bye Sakura," I say without thinking, surprising myself even as the words are still leaving my mouth.

"Y-Yeah, see you later Sasuke-kun," she waves, her eyes going wide and her voice thick with bewilderment.

I don't blame her though. Rare is the time that I ever say anything to her, much less be polite.

As she leaves she looks back at me one final time, and I can't tell whether her expression is relieved, happy, or concerned. Either way, I can't really bring myself to care. We had been on friendly terms again when I had returned to the village with you years ago, but I had severed any and all emotional ties with people after you left. I couldn't open myself and become susceptible to the kind of pain that you brought me again. Of course, I can never love somebody the way I still love you to this day, but harm is harm, no matter how small. And I'm not sure that my worn-out soul can take even the most diminutive addition to my pool of hurt.

I hurry with the rest of the groceries and walk briskly back home. I still live in the tiny one-room apartment that was once yours. This is the one thing that even Sakura and Kakashi were unable to understand about me after you left. Of all the places in the village this should've been the last place I ever wanted to return to because it was the place that was the most branded with your presence. But it is actually the place that comforts me the most. Or maybe it's because some sick, twisted part of my brain is just masochistic like that.

I have not changed anything about this place since your departure. Your scent still lingers in the walls, the clothes you left behind, and the old worn-out couch that sits in front of your TV. But the bed we used to share has the strongest scent of them all. Most likely it's because of all the things we used to on it. After all, sex was our favorite thing to do after coming back from a mission, and we went on alot of missions.

But it's too painful to reminisce about those happier times, and even now as these thoughts cross my mind my heart clenches painfully and my whole body is shaken by a sudden surge of electricity, immediately causing my knees to give out. I land none-to-gently on the wooden floor and make no move to pick myself up again.

My chakra tends to fluctuate quite uncontrollably at moments like this, and I can't stop the suddenly bursts of lightning that ricochet down my body. I don't want them to stop anyhow. At least then not all of my pain is completely internal, and unlike the pain in my chest, I get to feel relief after it's gone.

When it stops a few minutes later I stand up again rather sluggishly, just then realizing how tired I really am. Lately the only thing that can put me to sleep is the single letter you left behind, so I go inside our room and take it carefully out of its drawer. Whenever I do manage to fall asleep though, your face haunts my once pleasant dreams, and my eventual waking up to even more unbearable pain is inevitable.

My fingers graze across the face of the crisp white envelope, lingering on the messy letters that read my name. In the past I used to complain about how sloppily you wrote and you would either laugh it off, or roll your eyes and tell me that I couldn't expect everyone to have my impeccable handwriting. I would get annoyed at you, but you were always able to make me completely forget about all of our arguments the moment you started kissing me.

Now I find myself feeling grateful that you never took any of my advice and didn't change your handwriting. It was so Naruto that each time I read the letter anew my eyes glazed over at the potent feeling of your presence.

I let out a breathy puff of air that I didn't realize I was holding, and with tremulous hands unfold the five sheets of paper that make up your final words to me.

Dear Sasuke,

I know that I probably will no longer be around by the time you read this, so let me start out by saying that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I never told you about my condition and that you have to face my death without any previous warning. I know that you resent me for it but I had made a decision when I found out for the first time, and I have to stick to it. It was so hard and the amount of times I almost cracked and told you are countless. But I didn't want you to be present when I died because I know it would've torn you apart.

About a year ago, I was having a normal check-up with the Granny when she told me I had a natural disease that targeted my chakra network. It's fatal, and not even her medical ninjutsu can stop it. She told me the best she could do was slow it down a little, but that was it.

At first I was so scared that I panicked on the spot and it took ten Anbu just to restrain me from lashing out at her. I calmed down eventually though, and sat down to have a long talk with Tsunade.

In the end I decided that I wanted to have Kurama extracted from me and given to someone else before the disease can take both of our lives. It's better for the protection of the village and the Great Nations. Plus, he and I have become friends now, and I don't want him to die even though he protested against it. They're giving him to Kakashi-sensei, whom both Granny and I decided was the best candidate for the job given his skill and experience.

These days I find myself staring out of a lot of windows and just thinking about what's going to happen to you when I finally die. Sometimes I completely break down in public places and have to find a bathroom or something to hide in while I cry. I know you'll probably think I'm being an emotional little girl right now, but when I think that you'll live miserably or even do something drastic like take your own life, I can't stand the pain. It makes me feel so bitter because after all the good that I've done I still end up having to die in such a horrible way. And you have to deal with losing yet another person that you loved in your life. I can't imagine how that feels, but I want you to know that even in death, I still love you and I will always be watching out for you.

Then other times I like to be my optimistic self and think that since you'll have Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei and all of our other friends there to help you through this, you'll eventually be able to move on.

But my biggest fear of all is that when I do die, you'll forget all about me and return to how you were before. It's part of the reason why I'm writing this right now, to be honest. The more logical part of my brain knows that you won't, but you'd be the first person to agree that sometimes minds enjoy thoroughly fucking us over until we're thinking all sorts of crazy things.

Anyway, I don't think I should keep talking about grim stuff like that. I want you to know how I feel about everything, and writing it down is the best thing I can do other than tell you in person, but you know I can't do that.

You know how I forced you to come with me to a bunch of fun places and events In the past year? Well that was just me trying to create more happy memories for you to have about me. And I wanted to spend my last few months of living with you more than anyone else.

I've always liked going to festivals with you because we have so much fun winning at all the games and taking turns giving each other stuffed animals. I remember one time, we were fighting because of all the space those things were taking up, and somehow we'd ended up screwing on a bed of stuffed animals.

Actually, we had sex in so many weird places that I lost count after that time. Of course, our first time together was the most amazing because we were both virgins at the time. Now thanks to you, I'm as far away from being a virgin as a cow is to being a whale.

And also thanks to you, I have someone to call family now. I was so happy when I finally convinced you to come back to the village with me after defeating Madara, and even more so when you told me it was because you loved me.

You weren't really convinced I returned those feelings at first because you thought I still liked Sakura-chan and wasn't even interested in guys in the first place. You were right, about the not being into dudes part anyway. But you were really just the exception for me. Don't take this the wrong way, but I hardly thought of you as a man. It's because of your appearance, ya know? That silky smooth raven hair and creamy pale skin that I love touching and kissing. It's almost feminine in a way.

This might sound a little creepy, but I've spent the last six months staying up until ungodly hours just watching you sleep. I want to remember every crevice that makes up your body; every dip and curve that is your face. That way when Kurama is being extracted from me I can have a perfect image of you in my head, and I can die with a smile on my face.

I think what I'll miss the most about you is the way you've always treated me. Even when we fell in love and moved in with each other, nothing ever changed about the way you spoke and acted around me. All of the things about you I had fallen in love with were still there. You treat me like an equal, and you have zero stipulations about starting a fight with me. People would think that our relationship wouldn't last for a second because of how often our personalities clash, but I think it's what actually strengthens it and keeps it passionate and exciting. I know you probably think the same thing because judging from your cold and uninterested attitude around everybody else, you like our dynamic a lot more.

I can't get bored whenever I'm around you, and our sparring matches have always been the best. Every time one of us wins a match, the other wins the next round, and we have this never-ending cycle of always trying to one-up each other. Sure, we tend to get pissed at each other a lot more than normal couples do, but that's just the way I like it teme.

And there's nothing better than cuddling up beside you on the couch and having those rare exchanges of feelings and thoughts with each other. It's the reason why I trust you more than any other person. You understand the pain of not having your parents with you to guide you along every hardship that comes about. And I understand just what the death of a loved one can do to a person.

However, we don't understand each other on the concept of food. I believe and I know that ramen is the holy grail of all sustenance, but you've never liked it and always complain when I make it. Maybe now you've found the will to actually try it for once and find out how delicious it is. All you ever eat is vegetables and every plain food under the sun. In particular tomatoes, which is why I believe someone messed with your taste buds when you were little.

It feels really good to be able to fight alongside you once again. We were always a good duo when we set our minds to it, and if we're together on a mission or a battlefield or really anywhere, our opponents can be sure as hell they'll get their asses handed to them.

My only regret is that I didn't get to spend more time with you in the village, and I would've really liked to be able to grow into an old man with you and lead the Leaf Village as Hokage. There is just so much in life that I feel like I missed out on.

But in the end I lived good one all the same. I became the village hero just like I'd always dreamed, and even found my soul mate by the age of sixteen. I have so many loyal friends and I was able to bring the Five Great Nations together in peace and harmony.

I've had so many accomplishments in my twenty years of living, but my biggest one has been attaining your love.

I love you so much that if I tried to explain it to you I'd be dead before I got to finish.

So instead, I'm going to give you my final wish as the person you love.

Please don't try to kill yourself when I'm gone. There will be too many people that are going to miss you, and Konoha needs you to protect it because I will no longer be able to do that myself.

And I will never forgive you if you do.

Please. Don't even think about it teme.

Like I said earlier, I will always love you and care for you.

After all, you're my teme and I'm your dobe. I just hope that I'll be able to hear you call me that again one final time before I die.

Take care of yourself Sasuke, and I want you to go to sleep every night and remember that I will always be there in spirit, taking care of you from wherever I go in the afterlife.

Love,

Your dobe

A single tear drips down onto the paper.

At some point during my reading I had crawled into bed and was now sitting upright, my back resting on the wall behind me.

I always cry whenever I read your letter, but it is always just a single, silent tear that slides down my cheek and onto the last piece of paper that you touched.

This one marked the 1,095th day since your death.

Thank you to everyone that read and enjoyed this one-shot. Most of you are probably thinking that 1,095 is an awfully specific number, but it actually just means that exactly three years had passed since Naruto's death. In other words, Sasuke was mourning the third anniversary of Naruto's passing away.

I surprised myself because during several points in the story I found that I was actually tearing up as I typed, but I hope I didn't torment you guys too much. It would be great if you could tell me how you felt about this story, so don't be shy and drop a review!

Also, depending on the feedback I get and how much you guys want it, I'm considering adding a chapter from the past in Naruto's POV and turning this into a two-shot.

Much love for all of you!

-MB